CHAPTER 1: THE BIG YUBEL APPEARANCE
alternate title: where in the world is manjoume san diego?
A drop of water on his forehead woke him up. Manjoume blinked his bleary eyes open, rubbing at his damp forehead. Why was there water dripping from the ceiling? Did the people on the floor above them leave a bath running or something? Either way, he was pissed, and the landlord was going to get a stern call after work that day.
That was, until Manjoume noticed the bright yellow plastic above his head. Like, directly above him. Like, he was in a small, yellow, plastic container. He lay for a second, wondering if he was dreaming, but then he got a water drop splashing onto his face again, and he knew he wasn't.
He scrambled upwards, legs tangled in a ratty, thin sheet of fabric that he had apparently been using as a blanket. There was a zipper closing the yellow container - a tent, now that Manjoume understood his surroundings more accurately - that sealed him inside. He cautiously leaned over and unzipped the tents' flaps, bracing himself for what could possibly be on the other side.
What he got was a smoldering fire pit, a sleeping fat cat, and a monster person kneeling beside the tent, it's large wings flickering every so often as the light rain dripped down onto them.
Manjoume recognized that monster. With a growing feeling of dread, Manjoume scrambled out of the tent towards a puddle that had pooled by the firepit and gazed into his reflection in the muddy water. Instead of his face looking back at him, he was met by the scruffy, bearded face of his boyfriend.
"Judai!" the monster, Yubel, said, their voice loud in the morning quiet. "You're awake."
"I'm not Judai," Manjoume said, panic bubbling in his voice. "God dammit! What the fuck is going on!"
Yubel looked shocked. The fat cat, Pharaoh, yawned and rolled around in the mud, getting absolutely filthy. What a goddamn animal.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Where the hell am I?!" Manjoume shrieked, running his hands over his head. God, this was bad.
Yubel stood up from where they were kneeling, expression quizzical. "A forest in China." Manjoume looked over at them, eyes narrowed. He couldn't tell if they were purposely pretending he was Judai or if they genuinely did not know. Last time this happened, the Ojamas and Winged Kuriboh knew immediately that they had switched. Maybe this was all a horrible nightmare.
"I need to get back to Japan," Manjoume snapped, feeling more and more frenzied as the seconds ticked on. "God, I need to get back to Japan like, IMMEDIATELY. This is soooo bad. Judai doesn't even know which cubicle is mine!"
He bent down to pick up a bag from the ground, but Yubel caught his shoulder roughly and nearly picked him up off the ground to scrutinize his face. Manjoume had heard Judai's descriptions of Yubel before, shown him the card KaibaCorp made for him, and even drawn portraits that they posed for, but they were much different than Manjoume anticipated. Very muscular, very pretty face. And very intimidating. Manjoume visibly pulled away from them as their face crept closer, eyes wide and lips pursed.
"You're not Judai," Yubel finally decreed, all but dropping Manjoume to the ground. "Where is he?"
"Probably back in Japan where I am supposed to be!" Manjoume spat. He had no idea what was going on, but he suspected Saiou was to blame. The cat man was a romantic at heart, and Manjoume was sure he'd taken it upon himself to fix his and Judai's problems (not that they had any, because it wasn't like Manjoume CARED that Judai was never around). Manjoume's first thought was to call Saiou and give him a piece of his mind, and his hand instinctively moved to the raggedy cloth pants he wore… but Judai's pants didn't have pockets, let alone a cell phone in them like Manjoume was accustomed to.
"Does Judai have a phone?" He asked, more to himself than the duel monster, but Yubel answered anyway with a derisive snort.
"Sure. Of course he does," they said, their voice deadpan. "It gets great reception out here, in the middle of a forest."
Manjoume made a silent vow to not talk out loud again for as long as possible. He slid down to sit on the damp leaves of the forest floor and turned to his own thoughts for company.
It made sense that Judai didn't have a cell phone. Manjoume wasn't exactly sure what the hell he did when he was travelling, but he was without electricity and away from civilization for weeks at a time. The last time he'd heard Judai's voice, it had been months ago, and he'd called from a payphone at the side of a road where he'd been drowned out by passing cars and passersby talking in a language Manjoume didn't know. Manjoume had mumbled "I miss you" just as someone - presumably someone waiting in line for the payphone - had yelled at Judai, and Judai had said a quick goodbye and hung up.
In a way, Manjoume had been kind of glad. It was way too embarrassing to think that Judai had heard him say something like that.
His moping was interruped when something wet and furry rubbed against his cheek, and he almost had a heart attack before he realized it was Pharaoh. The cat was old now but just as fat as it had been when it lived at Duel Academia. Manjoume let out a sigh before pushing himself off of the ground to go rake through Judai's backpack.
Judai, it turned out, didn't have many belongings on him. He had a blank postcard (presumably to be posted to him), a pencil that had been sharpened to only a few inches long, a hunting knife and some water bottles. Manjoume considered shaving with the knife, because Judai's beard was not only itchy but UNSIGHTLY, but decided potentially chopping his nose off accidentally with the seven inch long blade was not worth it. After inspecting it, he slid it back into the backpack and took a swig of water.
It was still morning, from the looks of it. The sun hadn't risen high in the sky yet, but it was already uncomfortably warm, and the sweat stuck to Manjoume's skin, plastered his hair to his head. He needed to get moving before it became too hot to walk… especially because the terrain would make it more of a hike.
"I need to move," Manjoume said, turning to Yubel. "Where's the closest town?"
"Have you ever heard of a map?" Yubel drawled.
Manjoume wanted to scream. There was a map in Judai's tent, but it wasn't like Manjoume knew how to use it, and he didn't even have a compass, either. He turned to hunch over it anyway, muttering curse words under his breath, and then nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a new voice speak.
"Judai? Is something wrong?"
The voice was familiar, but Manjoume didn't place it right away, because he hadn't heard it in years and also because HE HAD BEEN DEAD FOR YEARS. Manjoume turned, slowly, to see Daitokuji, their old teacher and also mythical alchemist, standing before him. He wasn't entirely opaque; Manjoume could see the trees behind him through his semi-transparent body.
"Oh," Manjoume said, "What the fuck."
Swapping with Judai had been bad enough when he'd been in school, but all he'd had to worry about then was going to classes and pining after Asuka. Now, he had to deal with being stranded in China with only a duel monster that clearly hated him, the ghost of an ex-teacher and a cat who really should have died years ago. Seriously, how old was that thing?
"Judai?" Daitokuji said again.
"Shut up," Manjoume said, suddenly sounding very tired, and turned his attention back to the map, trying to make out what Judai's scribblings on it meant.
"That's not Judai," Yubel said, "It's his little boyfriend."
"Oh!" Daitokuji sounded almost pleased. "Manjoume! How are you? What a pleasant surprise!"
In the same way he had done when they'd first swapped, Manjoume hoped that this was a nightmare, but he knew it wasn't. Giving up on the map, he turned to Daitokuji.
"Do you know where I can find a town, or a city, or- something. Anything."
Daitokuji smiled, adjusting his glasses. That pissed Manjoume off even more. Why did a ghost even NEED glasses.
"Of course!" He said. "We spent the night in a very nice little village just a few days ago. If we get moving, we could be there by nightfall."
Manjoume felt a little happy for the first time since he'd woken up.
"Oh, thank god," he said. He kicked one of the tent pegs out of the ground and the whole thing collapsed. Yubel stared at him disapprovingly, but Manjoume was too relieved to care as he gathered up the obnoxiously yellow material and the rods that supported it, pulling the rest of the pegs out of the ground.
"Just a days walk? Really?"
Daitokuji nodded. Usually, Manjoume would be horrified at the idea of walking ALL DAY - he took the train to work, and spent ten hours sitting at a desk, and then he usually just went home and sat at his own desk - but Judai's body was used to this kind of thing. He stuffed the tent in the backpack (it is a very big backpack) and shouldered the whole thing, looking to Daitokuji. "Alright! Let's go!"
Manjoume glanced up at the sky.
The heat of afternoon was beginning to fade, and the sky was transitioning from the blue it had been through the afternoon to a dusky purple, stars becoming visible. There was still no sign of civilization or even human life - in fact, Daitokuji seemed to have just led them DEEPER into the forest. The trees grew so tightly together here that Manjoume had more than a few scrapes on his arms and legs from where branches and thorns had caught at him, leaving red, stinging scratches.
Breaking the silence for the first time in over an hour, Manjoume said, "How far is the village?"
Daitokuji didn't answer. He didn't even turn to face him from where he was, a few feet in front of Manjoume.
"Did you hear me?" Manjoume's voice was more noticably impatient now.
"Well, about that…" Daitokuji began, sounding sheepish. "The thing is… I mean, I spend a lot of time when we're travelling sleeping in Judai's bag, so…"
"You DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING!" Manjoume screamed. That was a lot of caps and exclamation points, but lemme tell ya, if you were in this situation, you'd be using a lot of caps and exclamation points too. Daitokuji smiled and shrugged in a what're ya gonna do kinda way, like this wasn't ENTIRELY HIS FAULT. Manjoume punched a tree, so angry he was going to take it out on nature.
"YOU… STUPID… SLIFER… IDIOT!" Manjoume grit out between deep breaths, trying to keep calm and failing… epically… "For all YOU know, we could have just wandered deeper into the jungle! We could be lost for real! We could DIE in here, and I still wouldn't escape, because ghosts exist now APPARENTLY."
"Shut up," Yubel said. Manjoume turned to face them.
"Don't tell me to shut up," Manjoume shouted, "This is all your fault, you no attack points no defense points dragon-shaped waste of-"
"Shut up," Yubel hissed, a little more urgently, and their tone actually stopped Manjoume's ranting. "Someone is coming."
Yubel looked serious (well, more serious than usual), and Manjoume tried to listen. The forest was loud with the sounds of, well, forest, and he couldn't hear anything above it.
"There's nothing there," he snapped, exactly as another voice called, "Is anyone there?"
Manjoume jumped, but the voice had spoken in Japanese, which eased the shock a little. Not that Manjoume had anything against Chinese people, but it would have been a lot trickier if they didn't even speak the same language!
"Uh, hi," Manjoume called back, awkwardly. A beam of light cut through the dim forest and swung to illuminate the grove Manjoume stood in, and he raised a hand to shield his eyes from the bright light of the flashlight.
Another figure stepped into the clearing, male and very short. And with big eyes. Do you know who it is yet? Cuz Manjoume didn't know, until the dude pulled off his helmet to reveal his BIG SPIKY HAIR. Manjoume's eyes widened - it was Yugi freakin' Mutou!
"Yugi?" He said, warily using Yugi's first name. He would have called him Mr Mutou, but please, Mister Mutou was his grandfather.
Yugi squinted, trying to make out Manjoume's- well, Judai's- features through the dense beard that covered his face, before he seemed to recognise him and smiled.
"Judai!" He said. "It's so good to see you! You mentioned you'd be in China, but I never thought we'd get a chance to meet up."
"Well," Manjoume said, "I mean- it's kind of an accident."
"A happy accident," Yugi said. "Are you- I mean… I heard you talking. Are you alone?"
Great, now Yugi was going to think he was a freak. Even if Yugi had had a weird ghost buddy at one point, Manjoume didn't know that, and even if he had, having an undead egyptian pharaoh as a spirit guide was a little more socially acceptable than having a dragon duel monster card and one of your teachers. Manjoume would rather try and explain to Yugi that he was really himself trapped in Judai's body before he tried to tell him about Yubel, so he just smiled weakly and said, "Sorry, just talking to myself. Gets lonely out here, you know."
"Believe me, I know," Yugi said. "I don't know how you do it. If I didn't have the rest of my team, I'd go insane."
That was right. Yugi had followed in his grandfather's footsteps to become an archeologist. Last time Manjoume had heard, he'd been on an expedition in Egypt, but Manjoume guessed there was cool old shit in China too.
"Look," Yugi said, looking at Manjoume with a clearly concerned look. He had just wandered in on Manjoume screaming at imaginary friends, after all. "Why don't you come back to our camp? You can have a shower, phone Manjoume…"
"You have a shower?"
Manjoume felt like he'd died and gone to heaven. Yugi felt a little awkward at the look of rapture on his face.
