Zancrow's 99 Good Deeds (Chapter 2)
Zancrow was about to make his way up the escalator to heaven, he felt someone grab on his legs. He had a deranged look on his face, a lost tooth, and blue wrestling tights that said 'rabid wolverine' (You can pretty much guess who this is by this point). "Dude. For the last time, you're not coming up with me!" Zancrow yelled while shaking his legs, trying to get the man off of him. "Oh come on. What did I do that was so bad?" the man questioned. "You murdered your wife and your son for no damn good reason," Zancrow replied. "Hey, I took so many real chair shots to the head that I can't even remember what I did a minute ago". Then, he blinked and looked around. "Where am I? What am I doing?" he asked to nobody in particular.
"Chris, get off of Zancrow so he can get into heaven," Satan commanded. Chris sighed and walked away sadly back into the eternal fiery abyss of Hell. As Zancrow was riding the escalator, he got bored and was tempted to set a fire, as that was his go to solution for just about everything in his old life. Had to do the laundry? Set a fire. Can't solve a math problem? Set a fire. Seeing that Daniel Bryan might retire? Set a fire. But, the prospect of never seeing Ultear again prevented him from setting the entire escalator on fire. Just then, he found out that the escalator had stopped.
Zancrow didn't get off in time, so he fell flat on his face. He found the gates of Heaven right in front of him. Once again, he was tempted to burn the gates so he could get to Ultear, but a voice stopped him. "Don't even think about it," said the man manning the gate entrance. Zancrow looked at the man for a second before he smirked at the man. "Well, it's a little late for that," Zancrow said in a not-so-polite manner. "Zancrow, you've committed so many heinous deeds in your life that your files had to be put into two lockers. And it takes up a hell of a lot of space in my office," the Guardian said.
"Not my problem, buddy. Now, the love of my life is one the other side of those gates, so why don't you open them up and let me in?" Zancrow asked, while Ultear had her face in her hands, hoping Zancrow wouldn't make the Guardian angry. "Don't you sass me, boy! You aren't going into heaven now or ever," the Guardian said in a very pissed off mood. Zancrow just looked at the Guardian for a minute, and realized that he needed to try a different approach if he wanted to get into heaven.
So Zancrow walked up to the man and put an arm around his shoulders. "Look…uh…what's your name?" Zancrow asked, knowing that if he started referring the guardian by his name, he might go a little easy on him. "My name is Eddie. Now what do you want?" Eddie said, clearly wanting to end the conversation. "Well, Eddie, let me ask you a question; have you ever been in love?" Zancrow asked in an actually polite (or at least as polite as he could be) manner. "Well, I was once, but that was a long time ago," Eddie said, with a forlorn look on his face.
"Well, I'm in love right now. With that woman standing by the gates into heaven," Zancrow said with a serious yet loving tone in his voice. "Her name is Ultear, and she has done so many things for me, and has shown me things that I would have never seen without her help. She taught me how to love again after my own parents called me a demon. She taught me that not all people are bad even when I went through constant ridicule by the people in my religious village. She also showed me right from wrong when I didn't know the difference when we were in Grimore Heart," Zancrow said all at once. He was shocked at himself, as he had never opened his heart like that to anyone, not even Ultear.
Zancrow then did something else that he had never done before; get on his hands and knees to beg to someone. Not even when he respected Hades had he ever done this. "So, I'm asking you, as a man who has nothing, who has suffered in Hell for 7 years, and has felt remorse for his crimes, please let me see my Ultear in heaven again?" Zancrow said, almost pleading with Eddie to feel sorry for him. Ultear was listening to the entire exchange, and her eyes filled with tears as she realized that Zancrow loved her more than she ever thought possible. She wanted to shout back that she loved him too, but wanted to see what Eddie thought of the whole exchange before saying anything.
Eddie looked at Zancrow with a tinge of sympathy and thought about it for a while. "OK, you're willing to do anything to get into heaven, correct?" Eddie asked. Zancrow nodded vigorously. "Well, how about I give you a chance to prove your worth and give you a pass into heaven?" Eddie asked again. Zancrow looked at him before asking "What does that mean?" "It means that I'm going to give you a chance to perform 99 good deeds. I'll let you go back to the human world for a month, and in that time, you have to commit 99 selfless deeds. If you do, I will grant you access into heaven, and I may even expunge your major sins from our record. But of you don't succeed, you'll remain in hell for eternity. Now, what do you say?" Eddie said.
Ultear looked at Zancrow's face, and she knew that he was worried. Ultear was right on the money, as Zancrow's thoughts were of him failing. 'I've never even done that many good deeds in my lifetime, and if I fail, me and Ultear may never see each other again'. Ultear, who up until this point had been silent, knew she had to say something. "ZANCROW! I BELIEVE IN YOU! YOU HAVE TO DO THIS, FOR US. I LOVE YOU ZANCROW, TOO MUCH TO LOSE YOU AGAIN!" Ultear shouted at the top of her lungs to make sure Zancrow heard her. Zancrow then got a huge smile on his face, looked at Eddie, and shook his hand before saying "You got a deal".
