(Since some people asked about it, Mayenab Dysheebudo is one of the Seven Words from the show. I don't know if it's any actual language, but Ursula translates it as essentially "Patience is Key." So that was my very funny joke I wrote. Here's Chapter 2 of whatever this is.)
Akko had been somewhat quiet for the better part of a half-hour. She hadn't totally stopped talking, but compared to her usual boisterousness it struck Diana as strange how frequently they paused. She did her best to keep the conversation alive, filling Akko in with details of her own day (minus several key pieces of information, of course), and Akko's eyes still occasionally lit up as she did so, so there couldn't have been too much cause for concern. A hope sprung up in Diana that Akko was simply taking in the atmosphere she was trying to create, but that was hardly typical of her.
Still, Akko had the tendency to defy her expectations and challenge everything she thought she knew about herself. For most of her life, Diana dismissed the idea of falling in love and such nonsense. She was much too busy with her own responsibilities to consider devoting extra time to some third party, so everyone perpetuating the concept of meeting that someone who made her fall head over heels simply made her roll her eyes. Diana was, by her own admission, a perfectionist. Love, while surely pleasant as so many people were so eager to engage in it, was messy, chaotic, and seemed to leave people acting like fools. It was a far cry from the organized and disciplined world Diana preferred to live in, and certainly not an emotion she would enjoy partaking in.
And yet.
Akko was currently chewing on one of her tarts. She had, of course, made them especially for her, so there was no shortage of gratification at seeing them be enjoyed. Despite the caveat of Akko's uncharacteristic withdrawnness, this date of theirs was going quite well. Perhaps one day, Diana might even be able to consider herself on expert on the topic of romance, as she liked to believe she was on track to becoming with several others. If she could turn her opinion around on love, then soon others would surely turn their own opinions around on her and her supposed inability to deal with it. She looked up at the sunset through the leaves of the tree they sat under.
"Did I already say that you picked a nice spot, Akko? Because this really is lovely." Mostly, she was just attempting to make conversation as she slowly gathered her courage. She had to be in tip-top shape for the end of this evening. "Just you and I, away from everyone else." No one to try and get under her skin, or drop unwanted implications, or make a big deal out of whose heart was connected to whose. Just the two of them, without any big productions or mortifying circumstances.
"…yeah." Akko smiled, but Diana couldn't help but feel it was…somehow strained. "Thanks, Diana."
That was worrisome. She had been hoping that subtly pointing out how they were alone together might've been romantic, especially since it had taken her a while to work up the nerve to bring up the implication, but Akko barely seemed to acknowledge it. Well, all that meant was Diana had to do better. She began to ponder a way to move the plan forward, when after a few minutes, she was pulled from her thoughts once more.
"Hey…" Akko had reached over and softly laid her hand on Diana's upper arm. "You know I like you, right?"
She almost jumped, between the gentle touch and the impromptu confession. "O-okay. T-that's g-good to he-" She cleared her throat, hoping she wasn't blushing as much as she thought she was. "That's good to hear. W-what brought this on?"
Akko's brows furrowed. "It just sorta seems like something's bothering you." Diana suppressed a shudder. Akko's hand had begun rubbing her arm, and she wasn't even sure if she realized she was doing it. "So um, if anything's wrong with you…?"
She just waved off the concern. "D-don't be silly, Akko. Everything is…" Well, admittedly, not fine. Akko was acting strange and Diana couldn't really think of much else but how she was touching her arm, but Akko didn't need to be burdened with her distresses. "Everything is as it should be." Akko didn't look completely convinced, but nodded and turned away.
As she did so, her arm dropped, and made a motion to rest her own hand on top of hers, and Diana, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks and the tingling in her skin, quietly put her hand in her lap, hoping Akko hadn't noticed. As pleasant as it was to simply let her composure slip and enjoy the contact, it was not a luxury she could afford now.
This had to be perfect. Not just because Diana had something to prove or because Akko really did deserve a perfect time, but Diana was acutely aware of her own faults, and there would be no way she could handle doing something so intimate with someone she cared about if it were not so.
She thought of the years she had spent trying to be the kind of woman who command respect, yet as soon as the matters of the heart came up she fell apart like a little girl. It was infuriating. And the only cure for it that Diana could see was to take the raw frustration and channel it into a drive to do consistently better than her best. She remembered the strange looks and jeers she had received as a child, struggling to practice something as outdated as witchcraft. She had learned to work past it and became a veritable prodigy at Luna Nova.
Somehow, the light-hearted teasing and the knowing looks and everyone loved to give her as she tripped over her words because her mind got caught on the fact that she was dating someone like Akko was even more offensive than all of those that came before. It was a step backward, an insulting return into awkwardness and inelegance that she thought she had already conquered. She had to find a way to put an end to it, and consequently, she had to find a way to make sure the ever-important plan did not fail.
"You're enjoying yourself, right?" Diana asked her. It was a bit on the nose, admittedly, to outright question her on her progress in building a romantic atmosphere, but still, she was somewhat concerned with Akko's lack of engagement. The concern only grew when Akko didn't respond right away.
"C-can I ask you something, Diana?" The witch in question could do little to hide her surprise. Akko's tone was almost always animated and excited, but she was speaking slow and hesitant now, and she was looking more at the ground than at Diana.
"Of course, Akko." She said immediately. "What's the matter?"
"You're not-" Akko paused to bite her lip. Something was clearly troubling her. Diana sat up straight, making it clear she had her full attention. If something was going awry, she had to fix it. Akko didn't look as placated by her attentiveness as she had hoped, still averting her eye line, and Diana could only study her forlorn expression until she finally spoke.
"You're not…embarrassed by me, are you?"
"What?" Diana could barely find her voice. The question ran through her mind again and again, hoping that she had heard incorrectly, hoping that Akko had misspoken, but she remained silent, awaiting an answer. "Akko, I…why would even think that?"
Akko hugged her knees to her chest, looking very small. Diana felt her chest tighten. "It's just that…" Akko shrugged. "I don't know. You always say we're good friends instead girlfriends. You get really embarrassed when I try to do romantic stuff in public. And now we're alone, and I'm trying to hold your hand, and you're being kinda…"
Akko trailed off, unable to find the word. She looked up to meet Diana's gaze. All Diana could see was the genuine worry written in her eyes. "So I mean…I-I get it, if you're ashamed to be seen with me, b-but I just wanna know."
Diana's heart shattered. She hadn't even considered that Akko had noticed her actions, but to think she had interpreted her difficulty dealing with affection as a lack of it…She had been hurting her feelings this entire time she had been trying to create a perfect night.
"Akko, no." She answered without hesitation. "That's not true at all. I am not ashamed of you. I could never be ashamed to be seen with you." She worked to keep her voice level. How in the world did she mess this up so badly? "I'm so sorry that I made you think that, but I promise you, it's not true."
Akko's brows raised, but the troubled expression only barely faltered. "You really do care about me?"
"Akko…" Diana sighed sadly. To even hear Akko ask that was painful. "Of course I do. I care about you, more than anyone else. You're the most amazing, wonderful person I have ever met. Please, don't ever doubt yourself."
Akko scratched her head nervously. "It…it really means a lot to hear you say that." She said. "I'm not trying to be mean, I was just worried…I wanna make sure you really wanna be with me."
Diana's voice started to shake, and she could only hope it wasn't betraying the sincerity of her words. "I…I do. Yes. I want to b-be with you." Her hand ran through her hair, angry at herself for the lack of conviction in her voice. "I'm…I'm not good at showing it, I know."
Akko tilted her head, and her sadness appeared to have been replaced by a lack of understanding. "Why are you so embarrassed then? I like you and you like me. So why is it so hard for you when I do that stuff?"
Diana's fingers tightened their grip on her hair, struggling to find the words. "I…I do get embarrassed when you do those things, but it's not because of you. This whole d-dating thing, it's new for me. I'm just…" Trying not to make a fool of myself in front of everyone. Trying to deal with a whole slew of emotions I never encountered before. Trying not to disappoint the one person whose opinion matters most. "…trying not to make a mistake."
It felt like a stupid thing to say, considering what it was Akko was asking her. Evidently, she had already failed somewhere along the line. Admitting her shortcomings was shameful enough, but having to do so to the girl she was trying to impress was almost humiliating. "I'm not…as experienced with all this as I'd like to be. The fault is mine, not yours."
When she met Akko's eyes once more, and saw the reassured smile decorating her face, she couldn't quell the blast of relief that consumed her. "You shouldn't worry about it so much. I get embarrassed in public all the time." Akko cheerfully added, "You just have to get used to it, is all!"
"…Right." It was difficult to agree with her, considering her intention had been to make sure she wasn't embarrassed in public anymore. But regardless of that detail, Diana needed to assuage Akko's doubts. Already the date had gone off the rails, but maybe now that they were being brutally honest with each other, Diana could get things back on track and make sure she was having a good time. "Look, Akko. I really am telling you the truth. Don't…please don't doubt that."
"I didn't wanna make it seem like I didn't trust you, Diana." Akko told her. "I was just sorta worried I did something wrong. Like I said, I mess up a lot, so…you know."
"And you haven't. I promise you." Diana smiled, trying to find the same brightness that seemed to come so easily to the girl in front of her. "Is there any way I can make it up to you?"
Akko seemed to think it over before nervously scratching her ear. Diana could only hope she believed her when she said she cared. She would do whatever it took to prove it. "There is…um, one thing!" She said, the pitch in her voice raising. "One thing you c-could do that would help!"
"Yes?" She listened eagerly for anything she could do to mend the situation.
"Well…you could…um. K-kiss me? Maybe?"
"…w-what?"
What? Did she just ask her to…to actually go ahead and…did Akko know about her plan? But how? Diana had been well composed this entire evening. Relatively. Either way, she knew for a fact she hadn't yet hinted at…
It suddenly became a frivolous thing to worry about, as Akko scooted closer, right into her personal space. Diana might've shrunk back, had she not been so affected by their previous conversation, and being caught off guard the small, inconsequential detail of being asked point blank to actually rush right into actually doing this. She could only stare as Akko, with a slight rosy tinge of pink on her cheeks, neared.
Akko seemed to finally notice the wide-eyed shock on Diana's face, and stopped in her tracks. "I-I mean, if that's okay with you?" She asked, in a hushed voice. "That's fine, right?"
"…O-of c-course." That was a lie. Oh God, she was not ready for this yet. She hadn't even been close. The plan was to use the time to mentally prepare herself, and now the moment was being thrust upon her long before she could psyche herself up for it. Akko was closing her eyes and leaning in, with the intention of actually making lip contact. With her. Together. Diana couldn't even find the nerve to do much else but gawk as Akko closed her eyes, let alone actually accept the invitation and do…this. So soon.
Not to mention, she had no idea what to do with her hands. Did she hug her? Touch her face? Hold her shoulders? Her hands? Akko's hands were folded behind her back, should she do that? She had no idea what the protocol was, and she was rapidly running out of time.
With a great deal of effort, she pushed the panic from her mind. She wasn't nearly as prepared as she had hoped she would be, but the time for worrying had long since passed and she could only hope she could compose herself as everything rushed to meet her. She was definitely not at all ready for this, but she needed to do it anyway, before Akko got the wrong idea about her true feelings. She did want to do this. She definitely was being honest when she said she cared about her. But this was also a massive leap forward, and she had one chance to do this and make sure it went perfectly. She already felt guilty enough.
Her hands, incidentally, merely clenched on the brim on her skirt for the sake of having something to hold onto.
She closed her eyes, tightly, too embarrassed to look at her proper. It was too intense, to look down and see Akko right there. To see her waiting and think about what it was she was expecting. Her heartbeat hammered against her chest, and her lips quivered. It was now or never, and it was what Akko wanted, right? This is why they were here. Her body betrayed her, and she was frozen in place. She blindly willed herself to force her head forward to meet Akko's lips halfway through.
Her forehead proceeded to slam right into the bridge of Akko's nose.
A.N. No it doesn't end like that, I split up the chapter again. Part of the reason I keep splitting this up is because I know I can be really long-winded, and I don't wanna post a massive block of text that's hard to read, but I like writing on character emotions, and I guess for whatever reason some of you guys like it too, so…I guess being indecisive but having it more legible is the lesser of two evils. Good news is it was sort of a last-minute change, so the next chapter is next to finished already.
