Pre-Reading Notes: Also scary, even scarier than STATUE.
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Kids Next Door Mission
Operation: L.I.E.S.
Life
Is
Essentially
Simulated
Writing Operatives: Lieutenant Darkton
Original Mission director: Mr. Warburton
T'was a perfectly normal morning for a perfectly normal boy. Nigel Uno was fast asleep, dreaming the stuff of legends. "Take that, Nightbrace…" he mumbled. "This one's for kids everywhere…" He shortly thereafter woke up with a loud yawn.
It was at that point Nigel realized that something was wrong. "Wait a minute… is this my room? If that fight with Nightbrace was a dream, I most certainly went to bed in the Treehouse. What in the world is going on?"
He got out of bed, and prepared to put on his everyday outfit. However, he noticed something was not quite right. Where the sweater he wore normally had flared sleeves, the sleeves in this case were thick and normal. In addition, the sweater was adorned with a knit pattern, where previously it had no texture at all.
Finally, it was when he looked in the mirror that he saw the horror that lay before him. His head was a circle instead of an oval, his eyes were much larger, his mouth stayed on his head, his nose was a completely different shape, and he had brown hair. In essence, he looked more like what we would consider a realistic person.
It was enough to make the boy scream in terror.
Worried about him, his father rushed up to his room. "Gadzooks," he said, "what appears to be the problem, Nigel?"
Nigel was even more terrified. Whatever curse had afflicted him had also affected the world around him, as he noticed his father also shared this shape-shifting horror.. "What's going on?" he wailed. " Everyone's turned into monsters!"
"Now, Nigel, I believe we've already had this discussion about monsters in the closet."
"No, not that! I mean, I look different, you look different; it's like the world was hit with some transmogrification virus!"
Monty cocked his head and looked quizzically at his son. "Nigel, this is no time to play pretend."
"But… what about the oval head? The extended mouth? The beady eyes?"
"Nigel!" Monty said, in a much stricter tone. "I am honestly beginning to worry about you. There is absolutely nothing here to worry about. Everything's fine and dandy and that's the bottom line." Monty's tone picked up. " Now, your mother has made breakfast. Don't want to be late for school!"
"B-but… the eyes! And the… fine. I'll take the stupid breakfast." He hung his head and moped out of the room.
"Behave yourself", Monty admonished.
Nigel and Monty walked down the steps to the kitchen. True enough, Nigel's mother also sported the transformed appearance . "Hm, clearly whatever's going on is affecting everyone." Nigel said to himself.
"What's going on?" Mrs. Uno asked innocently.
"Oh, nothing!" Nigel said bashfully.
"Dearest, Nigel has been acting rather odd today," Monty said. "He acted like he had never seen me before… or himself, for that matter."
"It's probably just a phase," Mrs. Uno replied. "If you want me to arrange professional help, we should wait until things are well and truly wrong."
"A fair conclusion."
After this, Nigel paid the two no mind. He just simply ate his breakfast and tried to assess the situation. The house looked the same in the sense that everything was where it should've been, but it looked different in that its scale and texture did not match what he was used to. After finishing his breakfast, he got out of his seat. "Well, I had better prepare for school. I'll see you when I get home."
"Ta-ta, Nigel old boy!" said Monty.
"Have a good day!" added Mrs. Uno.
Nigel stepped out, backpack in tow. However, when he looked outside the house, he noticed something. The giant treehouse that was usually attached to his house was not there. "Okay," he said, "something is definitely going on." He was able to notice his friend Hoagie walking up to school, albeit without his aviator cap. "Hey, Numbuh 2?"
Hoagie continued his way to the bus stop.
"I'm addressing you, Numbuh 2!"
"You talkin' to me, Nigel?" Hoagie replied.
"You… called me Nigel? Not 'Numbuh 1?'"
"Why would I wanna call you that? It sounds dorky."
"Err… moving on, what happened to the treehouse?"
"The treehouse? It's in the backyard."
"No, I mean the ginormous treehouse that's attached to the house!"
"Nigel, have you been eating paint chips or something? 'Cause you're not making any sense."
"Wh…THIS doesn't make any sense. You're too young to have been decommissioned, and even if you were, it wouldn't explain why I remember everything. What on earth is going on?"
"Well, I gotta get on the bus. Maybe you can get on the bus to the New Crazytown Home for the Crazy!" Hoagie laughed as he walked to the bus.
Nigel stepped on the bus himself. "Something's wrong. Very wrong."
The school was filled with students Nigel recognized from his old life. Numbuhs 3, 4 and 5 in one class, Numbuh 86 in his own classroom. When he saw her, he decided to walk up to her.
"Hey, Num… er, Francine?" he said.
"What can I do ya for, Nigel?" Francine said.
"I want to meet you during recess. I want to ask you a few questions."
"I don't see why not."
"By the way, you're acting surprisingly nice."
"Surprisingly? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Er… nothing." He sat at his desk, ready for the next lecture.
During recess, Nigel and Francine got together. "So, what'ya want, Nigel?" Francine said.
"I'm going to go for a game of word association. When I say a word, tell me the first word that comes to mind. Ahem… 86."
"Nothing."
"274."
"Still nothing."
"Father."
"Daddy."
"Boss."
"Nass."
"Delightful."
"Christmas."
"362."
"Degrees."
"Numbuh."
"If you mean 'number', math."
"1."
"First."
"Decommission."
"Nothing."
"Boys."
"Cute."
Nigel put his palm on his head. "No, no, this is all wrong!"
"What, were there answers I was supposed to say?"
"Yes! Don't you know anything about the Kids Next Door? The fight against adult tyranny?"
Francine laughed at Nigel. "You're so stupid! You actually believe there's some kinda conspiracy against kids?"
"Is your father not the head of Evil Adult Industries?"
"Okay, now you're just getting annoying. Cut it out!"
"It's the truth! This world is a lie!"
"No, Tinfoiler, your world is a lie! Also, you're scaring me a little. I'm telling." Francine went for the nearest teacher.
"What, no!" Nigel ran after her. "They're part of the conspiracy! I bet they're the ones who did this! Numbuh 86! NUMBUH 86!" Nigel grabbed onto her to try and slow her down. Francine simply pushed him off. His antics got the attention of a staff member who grabbed hold of him. "What? No! You won't take me alive!"
The principal called in a parent conference. Monty was the one to answer it, and Mr. Fulbright was there, too.
"Nigel, I'm flabbergasted!" the principal said. "Why did you try and commit an act of violence against a fellow student; a girl, no less?"
"To keep her from reporting me to the secret police," Nigel said.
"There he goes again!" Mr. Fulbright said. "Sir, he keeps going on about some conspiracy about his next door neighbors or something and how adults are evil!"
"They are evil! And YOU'RE one of the worst!"
"Nigel, behave yourself!" Monty snapped.
"I bet he was the one who stole my treehouse along with everyone's memories!"
"Nigel, the treehouse is right in the yard! What on earth are you prattling on about?!"
"That's enough," the principal said. "If Nigel cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality, then maybe we should have him talk to a professional. If Nigel continues like this, we insist on having him evaluated by a psychiatrist at Mercy General before he comes back in."
"Thank you, sir. This whole mess is rather frightening."
"You are dismissed."
Monty left the room, Nigel in tow. He took a brief moment to think to himself. "Nigel… what is happening to you?"
A few days later, Nigel was in the office of the psychiatrist.. "So tell me more about yourself," he said. "What is the world like to you?"
"I swore an oath of secrecy," Nigel replied, arms crossed. "I won't tell anyone who's a threat."
"Come on, you can tell me. What happens in this meeting will stay in this meeting."
"Cross your heart and hope to die?"
"Cross my heart I won't tell anyone you don't want me to."
"Well, I'm actually Numbuh 1 of the Kids Next Door. I'm part of Sector V along with four other operatives in progressing numerical order. We fight against the tyranny of adults. However… one day I was fighting Nightbrace, and the next thing I knew, I woke up here."
"Fascinating. What makes these adults evil, then?"
"I… don't know. They just hate children. They never said why. They just… do. They don't hate their own children, though. Mr. Boss liked his kids even though one of them was an operative."
"And what would you consider life to be like outside this organization?"
"Umm… kinda boring, really. I go to school, wait for my next mission… I really don't have a life outside the Kids Next Door."
"Any friends from outside it?"
"Not exactly."
"And what of your parents? Are they evil, too?"
"Actually, no. Not at all. My father's practically clueless, but he wants to be a good dad. He used to be the greatest operative ever before his memory was erased."
"Memory erased?"
"When an operative turns 13, they have their memory erased by a specialist in a process called 'decommissioning.' Some of them escape the cracks and turn evil. Some of them turn evil shortly after they get decommissioned, too. There's usually some teenager strike force to recruit them."
"Hmm… how many actual adults are evil?"
"Honestly? Now that I think about it, not a lot. I know a really cool adult named Moosk, and the ones that aren't villains are actually just clueless."
"I think I get it now. May I see your father?"
"If you must."
The psychologist pushed a button on his intercom and said, "Montgomery Uno, please come to my office again. I have reached a conclusion."
Shortly afterwards, Monty entered the room.
"Well, I think I have an answer. Nigel appears to suffer from a Fantasy Prone Personality. In essence, it's where someone with an overactive imagination has difficulty separating fantasy from reality. In Nigel's case, I assess that he felt bored about his mundane life, so his subconscious created a fantasy that was more exciting to him."
"I don't understand… it seemed so real…" Nigel said.
"The thing is, someone with FPP has a vivid imaginative world with defined rules that often seems real. Monty, I suggest you try and spend more time with him. Show him that the real world can be just as fun as his imagination. Nigel, why don't you try making more friends at school? Get out more?"
"I will do that," Monty said.
"Now, Nigel, I'm going to warn you that the first steps will be hard. Basically, take everything you knew about this 'Kids Next Door' world and forget it. You'll see that the real world is actually a good place to live in."
"I see," Nigel said skeptically.
As the days went by, Nigel and his family engaged in several different activities. They went fishing, played the sousaphone, visited amusement parks, and overall had a good time. Nigel invited new kids over from school to have fun with him, playing video games, and Cops and Robbers, continuing to have a good time.
One day, Nigel and his family calmly enjoyed a quiet afternoon together. "Oh, Nigel my boy, I'm so glad to see everything's working out," Monty said.
"Me too," Nigel said. "That doctor was right. The real world is a nice place to be."
"Indeed it is. Whelp, in a few minutes I'll need your help with the house. Uncle Benny's coming over and I'd like this place to look presentable. I'll need you around 4:00."
"Don't worry, I'll be on it! I'll just have some fun in my room until then."
"Goody, see you then!"
Nigel went up to his room, and lied down on his bed. Everything was going to be alright.
And then he realized something. "Uncle Benny? Benedict? Father!" Nigel shot up from bed and began to look unhinged. "Aaaaah, you clever adult you! Obviously, Father is the one who created this false reality to hold me in!" Nigel smiled a rather warped smile. "But I won't be trapped here for lo-o-o-ong! Heeheeheehee…"
Nigel rifled through the closet looking for something. "Ah, here we are! Dad's priceless bowling ball. The instrument of destruction."
Downstairs, Benedict came through the Front door.. "Hi, everyone!" he called..
Monty walked up to him and shook his hand. "Pleasure seeing you, Benny!" he said. "I hope you enjoy the look of our house. Nigel had a hand in it."
"It looks good. I wonder where he is now."
In fact, Nigel was on the staircase, holding the bowling ball in hand, ready to strike. "One good hit on the head, and no more Father, no more fake world! Heehee!"
As Benedict moved ever closer to the window sill, Nigel smiled more and more. Closer… closer… closer…
However, Mrs. Uno noticed quickly enough. "Nigel, what are you doing up there with your father's bowling ball?"
"OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!" Nigel tried to toss it at Benedict, but he missed. "Drat! How did I miss?!"
"Nigel Uno, what is going on?!"
"He's the one! The one who created this delusion!"
Montgomery ran up and grabbed hold of him. "NIGEL UNO!" He looked at the others, pleadingly, apologetically, think of a word and said to the others, " This Kids Next Door delusion is not his fault!"
"That's not a delusion! The delusion is the world I'm in right now! This fake world! The world without the Kids Next Door!"
"Call the police!" someone shouted. Mrs. Uno obliged.
"No! You're making a mistake! It's not real! This isn't happening!" While Nigel railed, Benedict ran hiding from the terrifying child .Noticing his exit, Nigel pointed at Benny and shouted, "He's the monster! It's his fault!"
A Police Officer then entered the house. "Nigel Uno! Come here this instant!"
As Monty dragged Nigel, Nigel screamed. "NO! IT'S A LIE! THIS WORLD ISN'T REAL!"
Outside, the officers began pulling him into the car as Nigel struggled futilely. "Perhaps some time in a mental ward will help you back to reality."
"THIS ISN'T REALITY! THIS IS NOT THE REAL LIFE! THIS IS JUST FANTASY! FATHER'S THE BAD GUY! YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE! STOP! STOP IT!"
Numbuh 1 tossed and turned in his bed, having a horrible nightmare. "Stop… you have to stop…" He then woke up immediately, hyperventilating. He looked around the room and realized something. The walls were made of wood, his alarm clock was beeping; clearly he was in the Treehouse. And when he looked at his hand, it was normal. "That was… a dream?"
Numbuh 1 got out of bed. "Wait a minute. The doctor in the dream said I suffered from FPP, and couldn't tell the difference between reality and fantasy. What if… I'm still in a dream? I've dealt with layered dreams before, what if this is another layer? What is reality? What is fantasy?"
Numbuh 1 pondered for a while, but then heard his stomach growl. "Well, whatever it is, it isn't important. I'd better go get some breakfast.
It didn't matter. What was important was now. And right now, he was Numbuh 1, Kids Next Door leader of Sector V. That was his reality, and he was going to stick to it!
End Transmission
The second part of the Halloween special. These two were designed to be actually scary.
"In essence, he looked more like what we would consider a realistic person." Not live-action, but more realistic.
""Hm, clearly whatever's going on is affecting everyone." Nigel said to himself." Characters in Kids Next Door frequently talk to themselves instead of using inner monologues. This time, however, because it is the real world, people can actually hear them.
""By the way, you're acting surprisingly nice."" If Numbuh 86 acts the way she does because of something that happened to her as an operative, then if she wasn't one, she'd be quite different.
"Nigel shot up from bed and began to look unhinged." At this point, the story starts to get really scary as Nigel becomes a psychopath.
