Title: Gone Fishing
Warning: Seduction, awkward social issues, weird power issues, dubcon?
Rating: R
Continuity: IDW
Characters: Nautilator/D.J.D., Cassetticons/D.J.D., Soundwave
Disclaimer: The theatre doesn't own the script or actors, nor does it make a profit from the play.
Motivation (Prompt): In the More Than Meets The Eye comic, there exists a Seacon with the voice of Megatron, and a group of sadistic murderers who idolize all things Megatron. Naturally, they have to cross paths. Prompts written for Candy From Strangers have finally been separated out here.
[* * * * *]
D.J.D. - "Soundwave"
[* * * * *]
The sound Vos made was not natural.
To be honest, Primal Vernacular didn't sound natural to begin with. All the curses sounded like someone inhaling against a fan and speaking NeoCybex backward at the same time. This sound surpassed even the bizarre noises Vos made when angry at Kaon over a language lesson.
Helex barely looked up. "Hmm? Is Nautilator's ship docked here?"
Oh, Primus. Nautilator. Decepticon of the sexy voice and shameless roleplaying. His name was the magic word to summon Tesarus out of nowhere. "Whoa! Yeah, please tell me he's here." The living grinder hustled over to peer over their scientist's shoulder at the personnel list for Redrix Station. "Warg."
Now, that just wasn't right. Helex turned to give his fellow titan a funny look for the odd honking noise. That wasn't a 'mech with hot voice' excited noise. That was 'suckerpunched by a gestalt ow ow' noise. "What?" Tesarus all but enveloped their far more slender teammate as the two bent over the console, jabbering in low voices, and Helex frowned. "What's gotten into you two?"
Tesarus seemed to be having trouble drawing in a deep enough ventilation to do anything but wheeze, but his optical structure glittered. Vos glanced around the larger Decepticon's shoulder to meet Helex's optics - and giggled.
Speaking of unnatural sounds.
"Okay, that's it." Helex heaved himself out of his seat and lumbered over. "'fess up, you guys. What's going on?"
Vos, a slim pole of a mech practically vibrating with sudden excitement, pointed at the screen. Tesarus wasn't much better, although he made noise instead of bouncing on his heels like Vos was. Little grinding noises kept coming from his midriff. If he saw them being giddy glitches like this, Tarn would facepalm so hard his mask would leave an imprint in his hand.
Helex didn't pay dignity much mind, since it seemed that his fuel pump had decided to relocate itself across the room. Look at it skip on its merry way. "Tarn!"
The Peaceful Tyranny would have rocked on its landing gear if they hadn't been docked in, well, space. No landing gear, duh. But Kaon did stumble back a step as he entered the bridge, and Tarn heard Helex well enough without the aid of the ship's intercom.
Which the leader of the D.J.D. chose to use instead of yelling his head off like a certain lesser minion just had. *"I believe I expressed a wish to not be disturbed."*
"I call dibs on the washracks!" Tesarus ran for the door, Vos on his heels, and Kaon dove to the side to clear the way. "Last one there has to wax my back!"
Fraggit. If he didn't get there before Kaon, he'd be stuck waxing everyone. If, that was, Tarn's growling disapproval didn't murder him via the intercom. That 'wish' had been more along the lines of an order. The Justice Division respected their leader, but they obeyed him because of a healthy dose of fear in the mix.
"Uh, yeah, but Tarn," Helex swallowed, trying to loosen his abruptly constricted vocalizer, "Soundwave is here." He paused, but there was only silence. Slightly unnerved, he added, "On the station. Right now."
In other words: boss, they needed to get their afts shined up and out there as of yesterday, because Soundwave was within reach. Soundwave. Had that transmitted clearly? Soundwave! Right hand mech of Lord Megatron himself since the start of the revolution. Loyalty personified. Role model of duty. Soundwave? Hello? Was this sounding familiar?
"Soundwave?" Kaon yelped.
Thank Primus, the universe was still sane. Helex actually felt rather relieved by Kaon nearly tripping over his own feet, because Tarn's total lack of appropriate reaction was alarming him a bit. Why was Tarn not ordering them to lock up the Pet and set the cleaning drones on 'blitzkrieg'? They had to look their best and make the ship shine!
The blind mech sprinted forward, hands flying over the console as he jacked in and started forcing override codes down station security's throat. Clearance. They needed clearance right now. "How did I miss that?! What ship did he come in on? How long has he been station-side? Does he have a departure schedule yet?"
*"I'm aware of Soundwave's presence, Helex. My orders still stand."* Tarn's voice lowered to a grave tone more felt than heard, even through the intercom. How the mech managed that was a mystery only he knew. Vos told the others their leader had inserted miniature speakers into their frames while they recharged, but Kaon swore the sadistic scientist was just messing with their heads. However Tarn did it, it sent Helex's shoulders hunching uncomfortably against the sensation. *"Understood?"*
Wait, Soundwave was a docking tube and half a station away, and Tarn wasn't booting them out of the way to get off of the ship first? Helex needed to sanity-check the universe again. Sometime other than when his boss held a verbal knife to vital systems would be wise. Helex would question the tank's sanity at a time other than, well, right now. He did like living, after all. No more disturbances, sir yes sir, Tarn, sir.
"Uh, sure. Understood, Tarn." Rattled and uneasy, the walking smelter let the connection close and blinked at nothing. "So I guess he doesn't want to go with us?"
"His loss," Kaon muttered, missing optics searching the station logs more efficiently than actual sight allowed most communication mechs. With the obvious exception of Soundwave, of course, because Soundwave could kick aft on the battlefield, infiltrate a sealed room, and hack a mainframe with three limbs missing and his broadcasting equipment disabled. Because - because it was Soundwave.
"Rust and skidmarks, but how're we going to do this without Tarn?" Helex suddenly thought aloud, imagining the levels of awkward that could occur.
Random Decepticons didn't just walk up and introduce themselves to high-ranking officers, especially the blasted Third-in-Command of the entire Decepticon faction. That would be like Nautilator walking up and smacking Tarn on the aft. Death with a garnish of screaming agony would result. Possible salad of a mech's own shredded parts force-fed before the main course.
(Well...technically, Nautilator had never done that. He'd pinched Tarn's aft, but there were allowances for extenuating circumstances at the time. There'd been a bet. And a table. Tarn had been bent over it at the time, playing the part of a loyal Decepticon unaware of Lord Megatron's sudden mischievous mood. Regardless of how it'd come about, it wasn't something Nautilator would have dared to do without copious amount of coaxing beforehand.)
Soundwave was Lord Megatron's Third, an icon of loyalty of service, and random Decepticons didn't approach someone like that without good cause. Being Tarn-less left the rest of the Justice Division floundering for a means of introduction. They were in a prominent unit under Lord Megatron's direct command, but only Tarn was a commissioned officer. The rest of them were glorified, if extremely loyal, soldiers.
Helex frowned and pinched between his optics as he thought the problem over. "We kind of need him. He's all..." Big hands gestured, trying to convey Tarn's Tarn-ness. All the confidence and leadership they required conveniently in one tank package. "Smooth."
That silky voice. That purring engine. The intense aura of threat that implied how not listening closely could result in instant death. Or lingering death. Death in general, really. The glaring purple mask was sort of mesmerizing, too.
Oh, and the rank. Tarn had the rank.
...come to think of it, Tarn wasn't much of a benefit when it came to talking to regular mechs. Outside of discussing the Decepticon Cause and killing anyone who crossed Lord Megatron's will, their leader wasn't all that an accomplished a conversationalist. Poetry discussions could put the rest of the D.J.D. to sleep in no time. He could soliloquy, of course, but Tarn's monologues were inflicted on List traitors for a reason.
Nautilator had him well in hand in the berth, but their little voice-fetish berthwarmer put the rest of the Justice Division between himself and Tarn when it came to casual conversation. When a Decepticon preferred miming small talk with Vos over talking with Tarn, that probably said a lot about Tarn's inability to stoop to the level of normal people.
Kaon easily followed Helex's downward spiral of thought, and he frowned. "We'll make do." The blind mech stiffened. "Aw, scrap."
That was a disappointed look if Helex had ever seen one. "What?"
A small fist came down on the console. "Official meetings. Soundwave's booked solid for meetings right up until he departs in three days. I mean solid." Electrical coils sparked and snapped irritably. Helex automatically took a step away. "It's got Official Business slapped all over it, too. I've got clearance codes for anything up to High Command, and I can't access the specific meeting agendas. Whomever he's meeting with, he's secured it against even me seeing."
Helex slumped. "Oh."
Wait.
"Could...okay, I know it's a long shot, but could he be meeting," the titan's voice fell to a reverent whisper, "Lord Megatron?"
The sound Kaon made was not human. That was fortunate, since he was Cybertronian and had never been to Earth. Had he ever gone, however, he might have recognized the sound he emitted as close to that of a stuck pig. It was sort of a gasped squeal. "He's not listed on any of the docked ships!"
"He wouldn't be! Why would Lord Megatron meet Soundwave all the way out here if they wanted mechs to know where they were?"
"It's not likely. It's ridiculous." Kaon was already digging through the station's records again. "Primus, it makes a weird kind of sense."
"I know, right? Right. How can we find out for sure?"
"Frag if I know! I'm already looking, glitchhead!"
"Right, look, they'd have to leave the meeting rooms at some point," Helex said, strained and almost chewing on his lower lip as Kaon flailed at the console anew. "We stake out the corridor outside the meeting room. You have to be able to find that."
"How would we make standing around outside a room look casual?" the communication mech hissed at him. "'Why yes, Lord Megatron,'" his tone went nasal and mocking, "'the Decepticon Justice Division felt that the floor of this corridor doubted the Cause and needed a reminder of what loyalty is. Tesarus and I were just tromping up and down to put it in its place. Only loyal flooring in this corridor, Lord Megatron, you can be sure of that!'"
Right, that would be amazingly stupid-looking to anyone who caught them doing it. Stupid-looking wasn't an option. They had to look casual. Smooth. Attractive and shiny, hopefully. Soundwave would doubtlessly know how flawless and impressive their individual achievements were, and it couldn't be all that difficult to manage a greeting that'd extend into a longer conversation. Conversation happened every day! The Justice Division could carry at least one a year, surely.
Argh, they'd already had their annual portion of normalcy this year. Nautilator got anxious if they talked about torture, traitors, and other business-related topics while in his company, and they were fairly invested in trying to making him more comfortable around them. They couldn't make him forget who they were, but if it'd keep him happy enough to accept their invitations, they'd learn the art of small talk. They tried, anyway. They did rehearsals for six weeks straight before abducting him for their yearly week of epic interfacing. Fortunately for their libidos, he got pretty into their role-plays and didn't care that the conversations in between setting scenarios up was stilted and, well, heavily scripted. Talking like 'normal' Decepticons was hard.
For some reason, Helex really doubted that Soundwave wanted to talk about how cyberrats could hold off recharging for more than half a vorn. Soundwave likely had helped broadcast the nature program Kaon had gleaned that tidbit of conversational script from. Soundwave could probably school them all on trivia.
No, no. They needed to impress Soundwave. This was the mech who'd been there at the Senate, freeing the newly-sworn Decepticons to destroy the city! Piddling nature facts were not going to interest him in talking with them.
Whatever. Helex needed to drag the others into brainstorming ideas for this, but in the meantime, they really needed to know who was in that meeting room with the Decepticon Third. If it was really Lord Megatron, Helex might explode from sheer excitement.
Note to himself: drain his smelter before leaving the ship. There was nothing more embarrassing that a badly-timed loud 'glurp' from inside it when his temperature gauge rose too quickly. Which it would, if Lord Megatron were onboard the station.
"We could find a few places on either end of the corridor outside the meeting room and just...walk very slowly between them?" Kaon turned his head to deliver an optic-less incredulous stare at the larger Decepticon. Wow. And that lame suggestion from the Helex Department should just be shunted in the direction of the trash compactor.
Despite that fact, lacking any better ideas from the others, it was what they ended up doing. Although to be fair to their sense of the absurd, three of the Justice Division camped out at the nearest bar while their fourth member walked the silly patrol route back and forth in front of the occupied meeting room. At least, they thought it was occupied. It was scheduled to be occupied, but nobody had seen anyone going in or out. Nobody who responded to being threatened by four menacing Decepticon Justice Division members, at any rate, and they'd grabbed about twelve random 'Cons so far to check that they weren't staking out an empty room.
Their interrogations were getting increasingly desperate, not to mention drunken. The Peaceful Tyranny was only scheduled to be docked for ten hours more. Tarn, bizarre as he was behaving right now, probably wouldn't extend that no matter how his crew reaaaaaaally wanted to meet Soundwave. And talk with him, and stare at him adoringly, and kind of hint at that they were all available for more than lousy conversation.
Seriously. Soundwave. One of the founders of the Decepticon faction. The one who'd helped Lord Megatron fine-tune his words into the final draft of the Decepticon Cause itself. It wasn't like they worshiped the ground he stood on, but they certainly wouldn't mind worshiping his body to show their admiration.
Waiting and drinking, they sat at a round table nearest to the door so they could see the patrolled corridor. Kaon's optic were disturbingly dreamy as he talked about the Decepticon Third, and Kaon didn't even have optics. That was how much he idolized Soundwave. While, admittedly, he had the worst case of hero worship of any of them, the rest of them weren't too far off that. Soundwave embodied everything they wanted to be. They idolized Lord Megatron, but they wanted to serve him like Soundwave did.
By the time it was Tesarus' turn for the pseudo-patrol, they'd passed the point where they needed the drinks for courage. They were sucking them down for comfort. Theirs was a table full of morose, grumpy loyalists nursing their glasses and griping at each other. It would have been full of empties if the bartender weren't so attentive. That, and Helex's arms took up most of the space around the table. They'd started stacking empty glasses on the next table over.
Nine hours until departure. Helex had never resented Tarn more in his life.
"He's never coming out," Kaon muttered into his fifth glass of some evil concoction the locals considered a specialty. They also used it to scour pipes clean. "We wasted our time here when we could have taken the shuttle over to the next system to chase Nautilator around his captain again."
Helex grinned and pillowed the side of his helm on one fist. "That was fun." He was on his ninth glass of the same vile brew. Everything was more fun at the moment than it actually was, but it had been fun playing Dodge The Captain. The last time the Justice Division had made a booty call on their favorite fragtoy, they'd made the game up on the spot, mostly because Nautilator had kind of still been on duty when they'd shown up.
Kaon gave it some thought before deciding, "I don't think he liked it so much."
Neither had Snap Trap. The Seacon captain had been peeved enough to yank Nautilator up short. Not in front of Tarn, of course, because Snap Trap knew enough to be scared for his life around the D.J.D., but Nautilator had gotten slapped with scutwork punishment duty later. An inability to keep personal affairs out of duty shifts was a punishable offense among Decepticons.
The Justice Division had spent seven months wondering what they'd done to get their supply of naughty calls cut off cold. When Kaon finally wheedled past Snap Trap's comm. officer and sweet-talked Nautilator into speaking to them again, they'd found out their offense via being yelled at. In Megatron's voice. That hadn't been much fun. The good news was that Nautilator had readily agreed to take out his ire at them in some, ahem, disciplinary acts rarely employed by Decepticon officers of decent standing.
That trick wouldn't work if they got his aft reamed by Snap Trap a second time. "Yeah, probably not a good idea to do that again," Helex agreed. "I wanna get laid sometime in the next century, y'know?"
Vos warbled-hissed into his own drink. The scientist looked openly depressed at this point. He'd practically deflated upon finding out that Tarn wasn't accompanying them. He didn't hold much hope that they could attract Soundwave's attention on their own, it seemed.
"We're not that bad," Kaon muttered back defensively. He straightened self-consciously, flicking back his electrical coils. Helex flinched when one bumped his arm with a ktz-ZAP. "Looks aren't everything."
Said the blind mech. Another warble-hiss in Primal Vernacular, and both of Vos' unitmates slumped. It was hard to argue that. They were, uh, rather lacking in social skills.
A fact proven in spades when Tesarus came out of the corridor they were staking out - escorting Rumble and Frenzy. More like he hovered over them. It could be said that he was fussing nervously, except that when a giant walking shredder typically minced those who badmouthed him, nobody said anything about how he wrung his hands worriedly. They pretended not to see anything.
The few Decepticons who'd dared hang around the bar after the Justice Division had arrived took one look at the hand-wringing and wildly glittering X-optic. Suddenly, there were seats available everywhere. Empty seats as far as the optic could see. Seats for everyone!
What a fantastic coincidence, because the current seating arrangements weren't working out so well. Vos had just fallen off of his chair, knocking his chin on the tabletop, and Kaon went over backward when Helex upset the table surging to his feet without thinking. The blind mech hit the floor at about the same time Vos did, and a moment later Helex's mind caught up with how the chair legs caught his ankle joints, and then the floor caught him square in the face as he tripped and fell on top of his two teammates.
After a moment, the table finished rolling around and tipped over to land on top of the faintly groaning pile.
The Decepticon Justice Division, folks: able to take out rogue Phase Sixers without injury, but unable to properly stand up from a chair. There would have been a moment of silence for the Decepticon faction's collapsed dignity, but Frenzy and Rumble were laughing too hard to have respected it.
Rumble. Frenzy.
Rumble and Frenzy.
Rumble and Frenzy.
Rumble and Frenzy.
They had been there for Lord Megatron's initial stand against the Senate. They had been involved since the first fight! Rumble had started the fight that freed Lord Megatron from arrest. They'd been with him throughout hiding in Kaon's underground. Forget joining Megatron's Cause (no disrespect intended to Soundwave, of course) - the duo had worked with him from the mines onward. They'd been there and supported him the entire way. They'd accepted reformatting into Cassetticons at Lord Megatron's command because of their loyalty, and they'd served him faithfully ever since. They were the foundation of the Decepticon Empire!
And they were walking! Toward! The bar! This bar! The one Helex was in! They were strutting, really, little bodies proud as they showed off for the three dumbstruck Decepticons staring at them from a pile on the floor.
Helex reached for coherency and mostly dug up the urge to shriek in elation.
*"Somebody say something!"* Tesarus wailed over the unit frequency. The grinder fluttered about behind the swaggering Cassettes, helplessly searching for something to say. Obviously, nothing was coming to him.
*"Can't say anything,"* Kaon said, sounding distinctly breathless. *"Squashed. Helex. Move."
"Oops." The much larger Decepticon scrambled back to his feet and offered his squished teammates a hand up. He felt gigantic, but it didn't make him feel confident as usual. He felt cumbersome. The Cassetticons didn't even reach knee-height on him.
Vos, true to his sleek frametype, gracefully rose to his feet and strode to meet the legendary duo. Tesarus looked vastly relieved. Vos had the confidence he lacked, and the gunformer immediately took charge of the situation. Gesturing at the nearest empty table garnered nothing but strange looks at the scientist, however.
"Vos only speaks the Primal Vernacular," Kaon explained as Helex pulled the blind mech upright and dusted him off. So much for that painstaking detailing before they'd left the ship. When was the last time the bartender had bothered cleaning the floor, here? "What he's trying to say is that we'd be honored if you would join us."
*"If you don't fetch them a drink immediately,"* the blind mech said over internal comm. in an ugly voice completely at odds with the mild smile he wore, *"I will be forced to do it myself. Unless you want us to look like total fools because I trip over another chair on my way to the bar, somebody else get their order. Right now!"*
"What strikes your fancy?" Tesarus said, obviously before he thought. The two tiny Decepticons sauntering in front of him stopped dead. Rumble and Frenzy gave each other a speaking look before turned to sweep the living grinder with speculative gazes. "Uh, I mean - that came out wrong!"
"What's your pleasure?" Helex interrupted, wincing. Kaon twitched and subtly kicked the side of his shin. Helex winced again. What? He'd heard it once on an old vidshow set in a bar. Didn't people actually say that?
Apparently things said on old vidshows were not applicable to real life. The tiny badaft duo turned to evaluate him next, sweeping slow and lewd looks up his frame in a way that dragged flashes of hot and cold across his systems. It suddenly occurred to him that, taken wrong, he might have just propositioned them.
"On the bar - I meant at. At. At the bar!"
That really didn't salvage the situation any. Two small visors tilted to look at the bar, then glanced back to the towering smelter like they were sizing him up. The Cassetticons' faces had surpassed cocky at some point and nose-dived straight into an 'Oh, really?' smug fragger expressions. A muffled gurgle came from Helex's smelter in response as his internal temperature skyrocketed. Had he really just implied that they - on the bar -
Hello, totally inappropriate mental images. Come right on in and plaster all over everything.
It was suddenly very important he stand behind Kaon. Kaon had a handle on things, while Helex just sort of grabbed at nothing as the last whisps of dignity flittered away.
Except that Kaon's smile had taken on a decidedly panicked edge. If anyone had control over the ongoing disaster that was the Justice Division right now, it wasn't him. "What…er, yes. What my associate meant to say is that we'd be happy to buy you a drink." Or five. Eight. However many they wanted. Because anything that got two of Lord Megatron's original Decepticons to sit down with them was worth any amount of shanix.
"Well," Rumble drew out, apparently just to watch four of the most dangerous Decepticons in the faction squirm eagerly, "since you're payin'…"
"Be dumb to pass that up," Frenzy finished for him once Vos and Helex's optics were hopeful enough. Tesarus made a stifled sound of glee behind the two small mechs. "Gimme a Slipped Socket with a twist."
"Rock Solid, for me."
Vos took off for the bar so fast the Cassettes took a step back warily, but the other three fell all over themselves - not physically this time, thank Primus for preserving their dregs of dignity - to usher the duo to chairs. Hastily righted chairs. Around a bigger table than before, because Vos came back bearing drinks for everyone and two each for Rumble and Frenzy. Tesarus and Helex let their two shorter, less hefty unitmates elbow them aside without protest. They even 'accidentally' took up more than their fair share of room at the table so that Vos and Kaon had to sit that much closer to the two Cassettes.
*"If anyone catches their optics, we'd all pitching in to make it happen. Share the details later?"*
*"Agreed!"*
*"I'm setting up a sensor cache now, just in case."*
*"Getting ahead of yourself, much? Cool your jets. We don't even know if they're interested!"*
Vos snorted over internal comm., which seemed logically improbable but came through clearly. His opinion on the look the Cassettes had given them was that the Justice Division might just get lucky. Rumble and Frenzy seemed to have liked what they'd seen. However, had anyone bothered to clean out their bunks before leaving the ship? His was a mess of half-assembled weaponry at the moment.
*"…frag."*
*"I've got my sharpening kit spread out everywhere in mine."*
*"Wait, wait. If we seriously make this happen, we can set up in Tarn's quarters. I don't care what kinda mood he was in when we left; you know he'll drop everything if we bring Frenzy and Rumble onboard!"* He'd meet them at the airlock, greet them with all the suave, purring self-assurance his subordinates lacked right now, and probably steal the show.
That was fine, as long as said subordinates could demand a turn. Tarn had the largest berth. His quarters weren't a chaos of living, either. It'd likely make a better impression if they took the Cassetticons there instead of to their own, less generously-sized bunks. Opting for Tarn's berth could turn out really awesome (orgy!) or spectacularly bad. None of them had any modesty when it came to interfacing, not after everything they'd gone through and done together, but that didn't mean Frenzy or Rumble were that open to having an audience. Frag, it was the Nautilator gamble all over again. Although that had paid off in the end, it'd been nerve-wracking waiting for the nervous Seacon's decision.
They really were getting ahead of themselves.
Frenzy took a long drink from his glass. "Ah!" Wiping his hand across his mouth, he grinned slyly. "Used to order a couple of these when we got enough shanix back in the mines. Nothing washed the dirt outta your throat better than one of these!"
Rumble finished his own drink and reached for the second one, shaking his head at his brother. "Slagger, we never had the shanix for these. Ordered 'em anyway," he said out of the side of his mouth to Kaon, who leaned in to hear. "Kinda went over our credit limit a few times getting fendered on - " The whole table froze, not even daring to ex-vent as he paused. Frenzy smirked behind his glass, but Rumble shook his head and went to take a sip from the new glass. "Aww, you guys don't wanna hear it."
"Yeah, just old drinking stories."
"From the mines."
"Old times."
"Waaaaay boring," they drawled, wearing identical innocent expressions.
"Habringlefardersnay," Tesarus objected. It wasn't the most eloquent objection ever raised, but it summed up their opinion quite well. Mining stories, from the mine where Lord Megatron had worked. Yes, please and thank you, tell them more!
"No, really, we'd love to hear about it!" Helex subtly smacked Tesarus across the back of the head to restart whatever had evidently stopped working in there. The two titans leaned on the table and stared hopefully down at the small Cassetticons. "Where was the bar you went to?"
"Did Lord Megatron ever join you?"
Rumble shrugged carelessly. "Just a couple times, but who wants to listen to us babble?"
"We're just Cassettes."
"Nobody gives a slag about the shorties."
"'Shorties'?!" The Justice Division straightened as one. Even Vos managed an indignant look, through body language more than a scowl. Helex slammed a hand down on the table and frowned ferociously. "Who's called you that? Who would dare?"
"Just give me names," Tesarus demanded, and his grinder whirred vicious threat. "They'll never do it again."
Kaon deliberately laid a hand on Rumble's forearm. "Who could possibly believe such blatant Functionalist propaganda? You're heroes of the Empire. You're an example to us all with your dedication, strength, and courage. Your loyalty is legendary and an inspiration to every Decepticon who calls himself a believer in the Cause." With every sentence, the two Cassetticons sat straighter in their chairs, armor puffing as the praise was heaped upon them. As they rightly deserved! "If we judged dedication and worth by height instead of ability, would I then be judged by my missing optics instead of what that blindness allows me to do?"
An unhappy grinder underscored Tesarus taking up the topic. "I get called fat, but not more than once."
"Heh, woo! I bet!" Frenzy lifted his second glass, and the titan hurried to clink his own against it in a toast. "Yeah, we get lotsa slag for our size, but not once mechs see us on the battlefield. Maybe 'cause we made a few examples, if you know what I mean."
"Pancaked 'em," Rumble agreed, transforming his arms to let Kaon admire the pile-drivers. With his fingers, of course, because station security only had one camera installed in this bar, and the lighting didn't allow for a close view of the Cassette's weapons. Not as close and appreciative as fingers allowed for, anyway.
Yes, Kaon was taking shameless advantage of his handicap. The others envied him that. Vos was giving Frenzy his most suggestive look, hoping the other Cassette would decide to show off his drills and let him stroke the threads to show off just how nimble his fingers were, but no such luck. The small mech seemed intent on draining his second glass.
Helex took the kick to his shin to mean that he should go fetch another round for the Cassetticons. The four D.J.D. members had barely touched their own drinks, too busy watching and listening to the notorious twins. He lumbered to his feet to obey.
"Ah, just a quick question," Kaon interjected, and maybe he was sitting on the edge of his chair now, but that would only be noticeable if his thigh brushed against Rumble's. More than it already was, anyway. "Has Soundwave's meetings gone well? We've been curious about," who exactly was locked in those high-security meeting rooms, was it Lord Megatron, please say it was Lord Megatron, "how they've been progressing."
"What, that scrap? Soundwave finished that hours ago. How frag can you not know he's - " Rumble nudged Frenzy and grinned when his brother stopped talking. Frenzy's annoyed glare lightened into a pleased smirk. "Ohh. Were you waiting for us?"
"Of course we were," Helex said with a wide smile that didn't hint at all that he was lying his aft off. Oo, it would have been a tough call if they'd known there was a choice between lying in wait for Soundwave or the Cassettes!
*"How would we know what?"* Tesarus asked over the unit frequency. *"Was Soundwave walking around the station the whole time we've been parked here?"*
*"How the frag would I have missed that?! Ugh. Doesn't matter. We're here now."* Oh well, they'd gotten a good bargain in the end. There was actual conversation happening. Kaon kept his smile and leaned just a touch further into Rumble as Helex returned with the next round of drinks. "That's good. Soundwave's efficiency is admirable. So, about those stories..?"
By about the fifth round of drinks, Frenzy had transformed his arms, too. He even let Vos pet the drills and Tesarus thumb the tips, but his turn at telling the story of a drunken night out with Lord Megatron never faltered. Rumble had transformed his arms back at that point, but he didn't seem to notice that Kaon was still rubbing a hand up and down his forearm. The blind mech steadily pressed against his side, ever-so-casually draping an arm across the back of the chair in order to lean down to Rumble's level.
*"Are you going to make a move anytime tonight? There's only six more hours until our departure window!"* Helex urged him on. Frenzy was still talking, but Rumble had lapsed into grinning wildly and nodding along. The Cassettes' drinking had slowed down, but they were small mechs and the bartender used tall glasses.
*"I really don't know if I'm overcharged enough for this,"* Kaon said back nervously. *"Alright. Just…wish me luck."*
*"Don't screw this up, or I'm pouring melted slag on you while you recharge!"*
*"Sit on a missile and rotate!"* Resetting his vocalizer, the blind Decepticon lowered his head down beside Rumble's audio as he traced one forefinger around one of the Cassette's back-mounted barrels. Helex pretended he wasn't eavesdropping like mad. "So…I thought we might move this party elsewhere? Somewhere more private." The last word was loaded with every scrap of innuendo Kaon could manage.
Yet Rumble just shrugged in response. "Pretty private here." The bar was deserted. Even the bartender looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. "Nobody around. You want a proper shindig, you gotta find the sleaziest joint this side of the solar panels. We went there a couple nights ago," the tiny mech puffed up proudly, "and drank half the station staff under the tables! Now that was fun!"
So much for making a discreet offer. "This isn't exactly the location for the kind of party I have in mind," Kaon said bluntly, still keeping his voice low. "I was thinking more along the lines of a room where I can scream your name without station security arresting us for public indecency." He gave his slowest, most seductive smile as he felt Rumble turn his head to look at him. "Your place or mine?"
"Pffft, ahahaha!"
Uh, okay. A burst of laughter full in the face really wasn't the response he'd been hoping for. Kaon's smile wilted around the edges. "Ah?"
"Look, no offense," Rumble gasped through the laughter. Next to him, Frenzy had stopped talking and turned to stare at them both, and Kaon sat back as Helex hissed a warning through the open commlink to him. "It's flatterin', don't get me wrong! But, yeah, you? Not my type."
Frenzy looked at Kaon, then back at the scientist practically sitting in his lap as if just noticing what was going on. He started laughing, too. Kaon flinched as if he'd been punched, and Vos stiffly drew away as the Cassette brayed and pounded the tabletop with a fist. "You? Naw, mech. Not even close!"
*"I am trying very hard not to get angry."* Kaon's voice was unnaturally level. *"Someone please tell me he's not making fun of us."*
Vos sourly commented on how personal preference was no limit to an amazing time in the berth. Nautilator didn't keep ending up on the Peaceful Tyranny just because they abducted him, after all. But personal preferences were the right of any Decepticon and were to be respected.
The laughter, on the other hand, was overly rude.
Neither Cassette was known for their diplomacy, but it'd required a head denser than a lead brick to avoid noticing how both scientist and communication specialist sat back and turned cold glares on the duo. Icicles could have grown from their vents.
Rumble didn't look worried, however. He waved a hand lazily before putting his elbow down to rest his chin on while he leaned toward Kaon. "Keh. Thanks for the offer an' all, but we kind of prefer the bigger frametypes." His optics wandered past the blind mech and ogled Helex. "If ya know what we mean."
Helex almost faceplanted on the table as Kaon practically teleported out of the way and shoved him forward in one quick movement. The anger evaporated like it'd never been, replaced with a strained, eager hyperactivity. "Have you met my teammate Helex?!" On the other side of the table, Vos slipped out the way just in time for Tesarus to take his seat and cozy up to Frenzy.
The Cassettes turned to give each other high-fives and leering grins, and the unit felt like a pack of fools.
*"Fragging stupid witless - we should have noticed the way they look at you guys!"*
*"Hindsight is perfect. But, yeah. Kinda obvious what they're looking at."* Mostly the broad torsos and shoulders of mechs built for construction and repurposed for war. Helex and Tesarus were, to put it politely, hulking machines. They hadn't picked up on the Cassettes' hungry looks because, well, that whole size-sensitivity thing the Cassetticons had made it seem like pushing Kaon and Vos forward instead was probably the better idea.
Apparently not so when size kink came into play. In Vos' opinion, which he shared over the unit frequency, that likely meant that Tarn would fall in the correct size range. Tarn's berth was that much more open, then.
"Muuuuch better," Frenzy said, looking way, way up at the X-optical structure peering down at him. And then leaning back in his chair with no attempt at subtlety in order to check out Tesarus' aft.
Rumble had gulped down the last of his drink and almost crawled into Helex's lap. That would have been sexy, but the living smelter had no rusted idea what he should do. He smiled down at the tiny mech, meanwhile panicking over internal comm. *"How do I do this?! He's so small!"*
*"You kiss him!"* Kaon barked at him. The blind mech pushed the empty glass toward Vos, who took over drink-fetching duties without a hitch. The Justice Division was a close-knit unit. Cooperation in the name of interfacing a couple of legendary badaft Decepticons was something they could do no problem.
Helex bent down toward the Cassette's reaching hands and tried not to show just how far out of his depth he was. His head was almost as big as Rumble's whole body was. Kissing? *"How do I do that?!"*
Kaon's electrical coils snapped irritably. *"Swear to Primus, if you mess this up I will electrocute you."*
*"But - "*
*"Electrocute."*
At least Rumble seemed to know what he was doing. He grabbed for one of Helex's shoulder spikes and yanked to bring the larger mech closer. Not that a Cassetticon could move a mech Helex's size, but the huge Decepticon went with the pull anyway. "What say you get on your back and I climb you like you're a wall?" the tiny Cassette suggested with a lewd waggle of his visor.
"Uh…" Actually, that didn't sound like a lot of fun at all? Being on his back reminded Helex too much of when he transformed to flip his smelter to full power. The similarity to being used for his function wasn't very appealing.
*"Helex!"* Anyone sitting as close to Kaon as Helex was could have felt the threatening build-up of charge. Electrocution wasn't just an idle threat.
"Alright," he said reluctantly, because it wasn't as if he had a clue where to start otherwise. Following Rumble's lead was better than sitting here as an ignorant oafish lump of scrap metal. He let the pushy Cassette prod him onto the table, which was uncomfortable and really not to meant to take his kind of weight. He wondered who'd pay for the damages if it collapsed under him.
Rumble climbed up onto his chest and grinned triumphantly, either not noticing or caring that Kaon and the bartender were staring. "This's more like it!" He walked up the prone mech's body.
That earned uneasy tension instead of anticipation from the mech under him. The Cassette was small, but he was stomping his way up Helex's chest, and that wasn't sexy in the slightest. Well, Helex had to admit that Rumble was pretty fragging hot no matter what angle he was viewed from - guhhh, walking history of the Empire, loyal and fierce and nnnggh did he want a piece of that! - but he didn't know how to feel about this. He hadn't realized he'd be stuck seeing Rumble from below. He wasn't sure he agreed with where this was going.
Oh. Okay, no, having the little mech slip down to straddle his chin was hot as his heating coils. Helex could agree with that.
Rumble bent over his face to grab his antenna, however, and Helex couldn't stop one optic from twitching in discomfort. It wasn't that it hurt, precisely, but he didn't like having those jerked on. The Cassette paused, eyeing him strangely, but when he didn't say anything, Rumble rocked his hips forward and growled, "Hands where I can see 'em. Yeah. Like that. Next to your helm." The smelter's larger set of hands rested near Rumble's small feet on the table, fingers curling, and the Cassetticon smirked. "Don't touch me." The curling stopped, and Helex opened his hands. He didn't want to. He wanted to wrap his fingers around those narrow thighs and hold on. "Now, how's about you put that big tongue of yours to good use, huh?"
There was a bared interfaced panel being pressed to his lips. Teensy dimples and protrusions signaled where the Cassette's multiple ports were, even if he couldn't see them from this angle. He wasn't a terribly modest mech, but Helex still hesitated. Were they really going to do this in public? *"Kaon, I don't know about this…"*
*"Station security's steering fairly clear of this area. As long as the bartender doesn't call us up on charges, we should be fine."* Even without Tarn here to smooth things over with rank and implied bodily harm, the Justice Division could handle one bartender. *"Er, I hope you don't need shanix anytime soon. I'm going to give him a nice bribe to close early and leave us be."* The blind mech set off across the bar.
Right, that took care of Helex's main concern. He set to his task with a will.
His tongue was roughly the size of Rumble's leg. Finesse was not possible. Fortunately, it didn't seem to be necessary. Rumble was a vocal bit of a thing, grinding out a groaned soundtrack to every broad swipe over his pelvic plating and poke by the tip. The ports were eensy-weensy tiny prickles against Helex's chemical receptors. Every time he attempted to delicately tease them, the titan couldn't help but think that the whole equipment array was cute. It was a tiny mirror of his own interface array, microsized for the smaller frametype, and he found that so adorable he smiled and lapped with short flicks of his tongue to hide the expression. He couldn't manage to lick the ports one at a time. He had to lap at them in groups, or all at once in wide, hot swathes of his tongue that left drips of charge in the miniscule port receptors.
"Primus, yeah! Harder!" Rumble bucked into his tongue. His aft perched on Helex lower lip, and he refused to move it. When Helex tried to tuck his chin down to maybe suck on the tiny mech's whole pelvic area, the Cassette kicked the side of his helm. "Cut that out!" A yank on his antenna accompanied the order.
Helex frowned. "Can you…not do that?"
The hands on his antenna let go immediately. "Don't like it?"
"Well, um. Not really. No." He swallowed, and his tongue tasted like Cassetticon. It was a nice flavor. Real nice, but the rough play hadn't been as nice. "At all, really."
"Why didn't you say anything?" Rumble frowned down at him and stood up. Frag, I thought you were actin' funny." His thighs flexed, still thrusting a bit, and his interface array crackled softly with gathered charge.
Helex licked his lips unconsciously when he saw the Cassette-scale ports at last; they glistened with his oral fluid, drying rapidly to a plastic sheen, and he just wanted to pin the bitty Decepticon down to experiment with how hard a tonguing the equipment could take. "I didn't want to say anything," he mumbled. He was so going to get zapped by Kaon for this.
The Cassetticon scowled. "Why not? Look, I like topping big guys. You're a big guy. I wanna ride your mouth like a skimmer, but c'mon. What the frag? If you're not into it, what do ya like?"
"I'm not - "
"Don't feed me a line of scrap! It ain't like I'm gonna run away from a frag just 'cause you said somethin'."
He wasn't? "But - "
Rumble's visor narrowed to an angry red line, and he dismounted Helex's chin to stand on the table beside him. "If you're not gonna say whatcha like from me, then you can go 'face a door. I don't want another 'facing toy!"
Helex rolled up on to one arm and looked down at the tiny belligerent mech. "But I don't want to be an interface toy! That's the point!" Whoa, what kind of interface toys did Rumble have? That sounded hotter than it had any right to be, considering the current conversation.
"So, what, you want to cable in right away, or you want me to play with your ports some, or what?" The list was impatiently rattled off, but that probably had to do with the way Rumble's bared ports still snapped tiny sparks of charge.
"No! Wait, how the frag could you take my cables? My input jacks are the size of your entire - nevermind." Helex shook his head clear. "No, licking you like that was good. Great." Incredibly good. "I just…kinda want to hold you more. I don't like being stuck on my back like that." He squirmed a little, embarrassed. "Being controlled that way's kinda weird."
The Cassette's expression screwed up into exasperation. "Huh? Wait, what? Seriously? That's it?" Helex reared back, optics wide as the tiny Decepticon turned toward where Tesarus still sat in his chair, optics off as he - ohhh, so that's how a larger frametype kissed a Cassetticon. That was surprisingly obvious. And sexy as the Pit. Helex licked his lips even as Rumble called, "Frenzs! Frenzy, quit gettin' it on and listen."
Frag, frag, frag. Kaon was going to fry him alive for this! Helex glanced around wildly, hoping the electrical-modded mech was far enough away that he could get a headstart after Rumble drop-kicked any chance at interfacing one of the Decepticon Empire's greatest heroes. The blind mech was still over by the bar. Helex wondered if he could somehow hide behind Tarn for the rest of forever if he made it back to the ship without Kaon zapping him to a cinder.
"What?!" Frenzy snapped when Tesarus let up. "Busy, here!"
"I know! We gotta talk, quick."
With Tesarus' hands around him that way, the other Cassette could only be seen in the gaps between fingers. He looked happy to be held in there. "Talk faster!"
*"Helex?"*
Helex met Tesarus optics and shook his head helplessly. He had no idea what was going on. The two Cassetticons had evidently switched to internal commlink for speed, and after a moment, Frenzy climbed up enough to look over Tesarus' thumb at him. That was an evaluating gaze. It left tingles in its wake when the small mech swept it over him.
When it finished judging him, it turned to a short nod of approval, and Frenzy turned to give Rumble a questioning stare. Rumble shrugged back and gave his own version of the considering gaze to Tesarus.
The walking grinder blinked back curiously. "What's going on?"
"He's even got handlebars," Frenzy said in reply to something unheard. He stretched up to tap the tips of Tesarus' optical structure.
Rumble grinned slyly at the baffled titan. "Whatcha say to me grabbing on to those," he jerked his chin at where his brother had touched, "riding your mouth so hard your teeth blunt, and not letting you move until I say so?"
Fans went from moderate speed to rip-roaring fast. "I say please!" Tesarus did not lack for enthusiasm. From the look in his optical structure, he was only now discovering new depths in his enthusiasm for interfacing bitty frametypes who took charge.
Frenzy slipped out of the titan's hands and walked across the table toward where Helex still lay, half on his side. Rumble passed him halfway. The two Cassettes didn't even look at each other, too focused on their new partners to care.
Helex watched his, er, new partner approach, and apprehension killed his own fan rate. "Um."
"Soooo. I'm game for anything that involves being under you." Frenzy's expression had a fraction of madness buried under the lust. He looked like Tesarus did on the battlefield when someone from the List tried to run for it. It was a familiar type of desire for wild action, and Helex found himself already reaching out. "Ooo, you've got another set of arms! Use 'em!"
It seemed like a good idea to nab the tiny mech with his smaller pair and pin him to the table. From the squirming and hot crackle of electricity from behind Frenzy's still-closed panel, it was an idea they both agreed on. Helex rolled to loom over the pint-sized Cassetticon, and little legs began kicking in a frenetic struggle that got Frenzy nowhere.
"This alright?" Helex asked as his smelter began to make glurbling noises.
"Aw, scrap yeah!" Frenzy gasped. He looked up at the giant Decepticon blotting out everything overhead, and his smile glittered as charge began spitting from his internal systems. Tiny body with nowhere for the massive build-up to go? Of course it'd show that way.
It transmitted easily, too. Helex knelt right there on the floor beside the table, dragging that small frame to the edge of the table in order to nudge his chin between legs thinner than his fingers. Frenzy kicked, and charge lit Helex's lips up with the pleasure he'd only felt as second-hand, surface energy while trying this with Rumble. Now his circuitry was primed and receptive, and he absolutely savored how every receptor on his mouth and running down his throat flared to life when he took a slow, testing lick. His tongue spread the short legs wide, and Frenzy yelled nonsense as he writhed against the flexible metal.
Twisting his helm to the side and closing his lips around Frenzy's body got a near scream. Helex paused, wondering if this was really a good idea.
"Suck, you rusted bumper-humper, or I'm gonna drill your - "
The rest of Frenzy's threat frizzed into static as the walking smelter obeyed.
The overload tasted like purest energy, and it was only from a minor tactile build-up. The Cassette's panel was still closed. Helex swallowed the charge down and worked his mouth around the sensation. Mmm. His hands tightened and relaxed on the Cassette almost cradled in them. Frenzy moaned, long and low, and Helex's optics drank in the sight of that notorious bundle of berserker energy reduced to a limp pile of limbs. So, so small. So delicious. He hadn't even touched the mech's ports, and he already knew he could spend the whole night trying to force his tongue into the receptors for a taste.
A weak screep over the unit frequency interrupted his enjoyment. Kaon sounded shell-shocked. He must have just turned his attention from bribing the bartender. *"Oh…"*
*"Yeah, it's slagging hot!" Tesarus agreed from under Rumble's bouncing hips. His lips were going to have dents.
"It's not - no no, yeah, it is. It's just that I found Soundwave."* Helex glanced up at the odd tone to the communication mech's voice. *"I just ran a security check of the Peaceful Tyranny, and…yeah. Found Soundwave."*
Vos made an inarticulate noise over the channel. Soundwave was onboard the ship?!
Instead of answer the barrage of questions the other three Justice Division members started bombarding him with, Kaon sent a recorded packet to them. Helex planted his main set of hands beside Frenzy's head and leaned in to nuzzle the blissed-out Cassetticon even as he opened it.
*"Warg,"* Tesarus said on the frequency. Also with his mouth, which resulted in Rumble shrieking happily into overload.
Helex himself managed not to do more than tremble in response to what he was watching. That was not a use he'd ever thought of for the captain's chair aboard the Peaceful Tyranny, but he had the feeling he wouldn't be able to unthink it now that the thought was there. While he had known that Tarn was that flexible, he hadn't known Soundwave was into that. They totally needed to try that with Nautilator. Although the Seacon would likely have trouble hoisting Tarn's leg that high. He was a small thing. Maybe if he rested it over his shoulder, and they helped him take the weight?
No wonder Tarn hadn't wanted to be disturbed, earlier.
A thickly-accented (language: Primal Aroused-acular) question from Vos was seconded by Helex. What were they doing? He could see Tarn's throat vibrating in a familiar way, but Soundwave had buried his mask into the cabling and seemed to be vibrating right back.
*"Singing. They're…singing. A duet. A - phooooo. A duet."* Kaon's voice had a strangely thin quality to it. *"I'm going to record and play this back later when we can all appreciate it. This is - trust me. This is musical porn."*
Helex couldn't imagine that, but then again, he'd couldn't have imagined having his tongue tip sucked on by Frenzy, either. His mental horizons were being broadened today. He really wanted to see what Soundwave did to Tarn in that chair, too. Some horizons needed to be broadened further.
*"Eeeeeeep,"* Kaon squeaked.
*"What? It's not like our mouths are really compatible."* Not that he had a problem with that. The darting lick of Frenzy's tongue against the inside of his lips was nice, but the Cassette seemed to prefer being pinned down with Helex's huge tongue opening his mouth until the jaw hinge strained.
*"Not that. I got busted,"* their comm. mech sighed, and he broadcast another video packet.
Of Soundwave looking straight up into the security pick-up, visor narrow. "Subordinates: lacking in manners. And training," the Decepticon Third added, monotone voice cold. "Communication tap detected. Perpetrator's designation: Kaon."
Ouch. Ouch. It was one thing for Soundwave, of all mechs, to pick up on Kaon being a voyeur, but the comment on his skill level ground rust into an open wound.
"He will…be…" Tarn arched and gasped, vents coming harsh and fast. "Disciplined! Sir. I will make - ah! Sure of it, I assure you."
"Acknowledged." The impassive mask of a Decepticon legend turned back toward the chair and its occupant.
Kaon glumly slumped into a stool by the bar as the video packet ended. *"And that's when he pitched me out of the ship's systems."*
There really wasn't anything they could say to that. Kaon was in deep trouble. Not the fun kind of trouble, either. The best they could do was distract the miserable mech.
*"Think I can balance Rumble on my tongue?"* Tesarus ventured as he gave it a try.
Everyone looked. Well, not Frenzy because he was currently moaning. Helex had finally succeeded in lapping open that tiny panel keeping him from the ports he wanted at. Also, technically Kaon was using the bar's security camera to see what was going on. But heads turned.
*"Yep, look at that."*
*"It's not that impressive,"* Kaon said grumpily.
*"Hey, it's harder than it looks!"*
Vos said that it looked easy enough. Rumble could use Tesarus' tongue as a stool. The size difference was kind of extreme.
*"Yeah, but he keeps moving."*
"Did this once with Megatron!" The Cassette put his head down and bucked his hips into the tongue between his legs. "Bit…bigger, though!"
That mental image. Oh.
The sound Vos made was not natural.
[* * * * *]
