"Can you lie next to her, and confess your love, your love, as well as your folly."

- 'White Blank Page' by Mumford and Sons


Once again, here we were. Just the two of us. Not talking. Not doing anything other than watching the sky morph slowly into vermilion hues.

Those rare moments when there were no need for words. I missed those moments. Especially when it was with her.

I know this was wrong. I know there's no way she can resist. I know her well enough to know that this in itself was a torture.

But I was selfish.

And as I was having these thoughts, I felt her hands grab mine. I felt her pulling me closer to her. I felt her kisses on my neck.

I did nothing.

Who was I to stop her? I was selfish; selfish to think I could love her and have her as nothing more than a friend. Selfish to expect her to wait for me forever. Selfish to keep her to myself when I couldn't let her keep me.

Selfish because I knew I was breaking her heart.

I pushed her away gently. I whispered softly, "You're my best friend, Hawke."

And though the silence after that told me far more than any words could have, I walked away from her. I knew after today we would pretend nothing had happened. As we always did. We would fall back into our old routine of friendship.

I loved her but I didn't love her enough to risk being hurt all over again.

Yes. I was being selfish. Because I was willing to break her heart to keep mine intact. And I hate myself for it.


A/N: This is, obviously from Anders' POV. This was also written a long time ago and is in keeping with the whole drabble part. Enjoy.