Hi! First of all, thank you so much for your kind reviews. It meant a lot to me, because this is my first attempt in a long shot fanfiction, something that I'm not used to in years! I may be a little untrained when it comes to express well the feelings of the characters or even in descriptions in general, but feel free to give advices or criticism, everything is welcome as if it is meant for me to improve. Thank you, one more time.
Second, I know Klaus is kind of out of character here, but it's just because I think he acts differently around Caroline, he's more forthcoming and more human, I actually enjoy that Klaus. I promise to explore his darker side (as it is sexy as hell and it was what made me "fall in love" with him, but I hope this chapter can light up a bit why Caroline didn't come to Klaus after she left Mystic Falls. I hope I succeeded in my vision of her messy head. That's all. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: no, I do not own Vampire Diaries or The Originals, I just like to make things up to my favourite characters without making any profit of it.
PS: last chapter when Klaus says "He's fine", please take it as "she's fine", it's a baby girl they're having and I want to stay true to the The Originals plot as much as I can (I'm making an effort to see them all until the most recent one, sorry for any incongruence)
II – Tales of lost years and terrible people
The question hung between them for several minutes, Caroline looked Klaus in the eyes and he could see how hard it was for her to put it in words, until she spoke, her voice cracking with a mixture of sadness, embarrassment and mock. 'I stopped caring', she stated, the revelation falling like a bomb in Klaus mind with words of alert. 'What do you mean you stopped caring?' he stressed the word, a roar starting to form in his throat, his head hovering hers like a prey, looking at her carefully. His eyes were demanding answers. She avoided his gaze, knowing the proximity would condemn her. 'Caroline what did you do?' the growl was harsher now, his voice rough, sounding like a scratch in his cords, his long arms trapping Caroline into the chair she was sitting on. She looked at him, fear and shame reflected in her always tender features, making her eyebrows to be lifted.
'Please, let me go, Nik', she cried. One could mistake her plea as fear, but she only was ashamed and Niklaus was blind by his fury to see it. After all that time, and even if she talked to him normally, she was still afraid of him. Of course, how stupid could he be to believe she was past their spat of years ago? He didn't inspire love from others as he himself believed to not be capable of love (until he laid his eyes on a certain baby blonde vampire – thought that he dismissed as fast as it came into his mind). Feeling hurt by his own assumptions, he let go the chair's arms just for her to get up and see her features disturbed, only he didn't know what for. 'I'm sorry', she started, hyperventilating, her eyes turning black and blue, switching from an angry vampire to a scared one in seconds, worrying Niklaus even more, trying to catch her in his arms. She dismissed him, putting a safe distant between them. 'Please, don't judge me.' She pleaded, trying to suppress a scream of pain.
'Caroline?!', suddenly Clarissa entered the room, and as soon as she saw Klaus she snapped 'What did you do?' She yelled, in obvious stress, Klaus heard her voice but he only had eyes for Caroline who was starting to tremble violently, only she was muting her attempts of screaming. 'I'm so sorry' she cried in pain her eyes turning all black, her veins more salient than ever, as if she was… 'Are you hungry, love?' he asked in panic. 'She's not hungry.' Clarrissa asked his question, her tone more harsh than she intended it to be. 'Caroline, run!' She put her hand on the blonde's shoulders, shaken her up a bit gaining her focus. 'Run, as fast as you can, run. You can come back tomorrow!' She made sure Caroline was listening and understanding what she was saying by talking slowly as if she was talking to child. Niklaus was shocked 'Run? In that state she will kill people and she can't afford that guilt, you know that!' he yelled trying to dissuade Clarissa's words. Only Clarissa continued 'Stop', he growled, but he was too late, as Caroline flew off before he could reach both women. 'What the freaking hell did you do to her?', he used his vamp speed to put Clarissa against a wall, holding her by her throat.
'Please, let me explain', Clarissa said difficultly as her breath was diminishing and her vocal cords feeling compressed hard against the back of her throat. When Klaus released her, very displeased, we must say, he pointed at her, accusingly.
'You, missy, have some things to explain. NOW!' Clarissa could swear she saw his eyes turning yellow but in a blink of an eye Niklaus managed to control it making her took a deep breath of relief.
'That's not her story to tell, Niklaus' Elijah showed up entering the library followed by Rebekah and Bruce, who sped up to stand by the side of his bride. 'What happened', he whispered to her ears. Clarissa turned to him, she was remarkably upset with what she had witnessed. 'I'm sorry, she turned herself again', her voice filled with sadness and self-loading.
Simultaneously, Klaus was trying to explain what he saw to his siblings. Rebekah laughed 'one hour with her alone and she already ran from you. Good to know you still didn't lose it, brother' she let herself fall in the chair Caroline was sitting previously, seeming annoyed, her anger directed at Klaus. "For god's sake, he was being a nuisance all this time for her, the opportunity to finally get some peace again came and he blows it with his stupidity. Hell of a brother I have."
Niklaus rolled his eyes, exhaling sonorously letting his sister know he was wittingly ignoring her, for her own good. 'Rebekah', Elijah sanctioned his sister actions, 'you better find yourself a room. We'll follow you next.' She didn't refuse his invitation and was already gone before he finished it. 'As for Caroline, what happened?' he turned to Clarissa as it seemed she was the one who knew more about whatever just happened in there. He glared at Niklaus, daring him to take a seat before he could explode as so furious as he seemed he was. Elijah sighed in relief when Klaus did what he was told to without discussing and turned again to Clarissa and Bruce looking for answers. 'We know Caroline so don't play word games with us. I value our friendship and I expect the truth and only the truth.' In other words, Elijah just threatened them very politely, Klaus smirked without trace of humour in it. Bruce smiled reassuringly, as he was not the bad guy here, not even Clarissa.
'As we know her, and we only want her to be better', Bruce said calm.
'Better from what?' Niklaus was growing tired of them all, talking and threatening without making any clarification to the urgency that was Caroline turning into a cold vampire who seemed to not listen to anyone.
'Caroline…' Bruce started, gaining his companions curiosity; he saw from the corner of his eye Klaus leaning forward to listen to him carefully. 'She was a baby vampire we found after, as she told us, the death of her mother. She was not the vampire we saw here earlier today. She was upset. Very upset.' He groaned remembering the suffering she was in when they found her.
'How upset?' he emphasized the word making his mandible quite salient, showing them his lupine expression.
'Niklaus, stop', a soft, tender voice came from the library's door, her clothes and hair dishevelled, her eyes seeming tired and old, very old for her stunning always-seventeen face. As soon as she was heard, Klaus ran to her, avoiding physical contact but the look in his eyes were caught in hers, making sure she knew he was there, worrying. The feeling was warm and pleasurable to Caroline, but she was more relieved for making sure she got on time to stop Bruce from telling them everything. Everyone could see how old she really was just by looking at her eyes when she made a move past Klaus, leaving him at his thoughts. 'I'm sorry for making a scene like that. I'll make sure it won't happen again.' She muttered this last part to herself.
Elijah seemed genuinely worried as he take a step towards her, taking her hands in his. 'You know you can trust me or Niklaus for all that matters', his words making both Niklaus and Caroline look at each other, the first surprised, the second more grateful for hearing what seem to please her. 'Whatever it is, we can help.' He left her and was already at the door when he said his goodbyes.
Bruce and Clarissa would follow Elijah only when Caroline had told them it was already gone, that she felt well and happy and that only happened because she remembered those times. It wouldn't happen again, she reassured them. As she was talking in whispered secrecy with her long time friends, she forgot Niklaus who was using his vampire hearing to eavesdrop the conversation. If he had little glimpses to worry, know he was sure something was happening to Caroline and it wasn't pretty. He remembered how in pain she seemed to be, how her gurgling screams made their way to be forged in his memory. If he could concentrate he could hear her plea between them.
When Clarissa and her fiancé left to their room, Caroline was feeling exhausted. She couldn't believe the timing for that to happen and she took a seat on the chaise longue turned to the window she broke when she escaped. She exhaled deeply as she pressured the bridge of her nose between her fingers, feeling tired and overtaken by all the emotions that bolted at her stomach. A sudden headache was starting to form. "Gosh, I'm a vampire, I was supposed to be rid of this mundane problems", she thought. There were days like this when, for a moment, she regretted being a vampire, and then the face of a certain hybrid came to light and the regret was forgotten.
Niklaus had been watching her moves since his friend and his bride left the now chilly library, the cold air entering the broken window would make them both get sick, but then, he smiled, they were not humans and little bit of cold was not really a nuisance. It got the air clearer to think, and Caroline seemed deep in it.
'Caroline', he approached her, testing her.
'Go to sleep, Klaus', she was startled for a moment at his presence, feeling warm inside by him staying, feeling that she pushed out of her mind right way only to answer him coldly.
If she could see him, his face was just showing his pain; for the briefs moments he showed her his humanity she never, ever looked at him, the thought came angry filling his fangs with poisoned hatred. He tried to ignore the urge to hurt someone, anyone, and simply shot 'As you may know with old age vampires tend to use the bed less… unless it involves sex', he smirked, his mind flooding with images of Caroline underneath him.
She turned to him, her eyes black again, a growl of fury escaping her parted lips, between her fangs 'Go away!' as soon as the yell escaped her mouth she turned to her normal self again, sobbing with the velocity of her mood swings. Niklaus wasn't expecting that but he wasn't scared although for a vampire with such sweet and angelic features she could make a hell of an angry face, his thought mixed in pride and awe. 'I'm sorry', she said, still sobbing quietly now. Klaus already was hovering above her protectively.
'Tell me what is happening, love. If I can help…' he tried to smooth one big curl of her hair.
'No, you can't Klaus. You don't help anyone unless you help yourself in between, you aren't helping now and sure as hell is hot you're not going to help me!', she cut him daggering him with her eyes, all black again and they didn't seem to want to go back to their normal. Niklaus was getting full of it as her anger at him was caused for any other reasons than him, so he made his classic Klaus-move, he pinned her up against the wall, getting her up from the chair in a blink of an eye, and in another he was holding her by the throat.
'I'm getting tired of your mood swings, you care to tell me what the hell is happening or will I have to force it from you? Believe me, love, I didn't want to do that.' Their faces were so close, Caroline could feel his hot breath against her cheeks. She knew she should be terrified, but that fierce look in his eyes were just his ways to her most private thoughts, the same thoughts that made her swallow, restraining herself from licking her lips in desire. His scent was all that she could inhale, expensive brandy, cinnamon and an earthy touch that was driving her insane. To let her thoughts go, she focused on what she was asked.
'I'll tell you, just let me go', she answered, she was not that angry now, and Klaus felt safe enough to put her down on her feet.
'I'm begging of you, Caroline. You've worried everyone in this house', he said trying to avoid her curious gaze.
'Did I worry you?' before she could realize, the words were out and when he looked at her significantly she couldn't help it but smile tenderly. 'Fine I tell you.' She exhaled as to prepare herself to let her story go.
2100
"Make it stop!" she was shivering, laying on the dirty ground of the forest. A pile of shattered bodies was more visible than her, the smell of blood and fire was all over the air, she was going insane as she felt hungrier and hungrier by the minute, and all the bodies were drained already.
'Make.' Her lips trembled violently, her teeth chattering and her fists clenched around leaves and dirt as if to stop herself to get up from the ground. 'It. St-sto-stop!' She yelled, images of her last murders flooding her mind. She wished she could turn it off completely, as a full vampire could. The whole point of turning one self's humanity off was to not being able to feel any longer and here she was going insanely guilty over some bunch of useless humans, that didn't deserve his lives. That was the downside too. Adding the fact that she couldn't turn it off completely, she also felt the urge to kill, to destroy, to burn everything in ashes, and then again after all the wrongs were done the guilt and pain were slowly destroying her brain, memory by memory. All the happiness was long gone, she was now feeding up on blood and self-loading. Her thoughts ran from the compassion to hate in a second, she could kill mercilessly and still feel regret for taking their lives.
An image of her killing a teenage little boy, with so much to live yet, who so insensitively tried to force his friend made her furiously ill. She couldn't let him do that and before she realized she had taken action he was dead at her feet, his hot blood filling her veins, she was all almighty, with that sensation of power, the feeling of fullness and warmth. She had his life at her hands and she chose to end it, as it was so miserable and not worthy of the space he was taking in this world. But then again, he was just a child, police would take care of him, he could still be forgiven, could he not? Could he not live an entire life having time to regret his actions and pay for them? Was he so unredeemable? The thought came and she regretted killing him, knowing that he would do the same and thinking at the same time she was right to kill for it meant to have a little girl safe. What a hideous person she was to take a life from someone, an act she always despised and so proudly gave lectures to someone who made his survival by killing. Was she not the same? Worse, she was not in danger, she could have chosen an entire different path, call the police, be a good citizen, but she chose to kill, the compulsion for blood and the anger stronger enough to overtaken her will.
She screamed in pain, having those controversial thoughts made her stand in the cliff of sanity. One more step and she would be completely insane, living to kill anyone who dared to cross her path. She turned to be a cruel vampire when she was hungry. She couldn't care less about how many people she would have to kill that day, if that meant her hunger were to be fully satiated. The problem was – it never was. And when she thought she was full a wave of regret, sorrow and self-hate grew pushing her further into the cliff and it was painful as her mind tried to shut the emotional side, the side that was partially human and tried to shut down, detach her memories of goodness and filling them up with the evil she was making.
'That's when they find me, Bruce and his lover at the time.' Klaus was perplexed, at least, as he didn't saw that coming. 'That doesn't explain your behaviour today, Caroline', he censured, frowning at her.
'You don't get it? My mind is damaged! I couldn't turn myself off and in the middle I earned a much fucked up brain.' She cried. 'I'm a terrible person, I killed thousands of people and still… what did I felt? Yes, I regret it a lot, but I enjoyed that. Even now, I'd do the same thing over and over again. And when I'm angry I cannot control it. I cannot…' she swallowed, tears were running freely through her cheeks making Klaus uncomfortable. He could deal with an angry Caroline, hell, he could deal with a very hot headed Caroline, but he just couldn't take her tears and hearing her say that she was a monster. Part of his cynic mind was thinking of course, the little princess Caroline couldn't be a monster, because that would mean she was exactly like him, he thought. And she couldn't afford that. He shut those thoughts down before he spoke.
'I didn't know it was that bad' he said, but both knew he could only speak empty words as he was not a prude vampire who wouldn't kill people. If he had to he would, without question.
'I just learnt to control it after being with Bruce for awhile. He tried to gain my full humanity back, but he couldn't. I'm damaged for good.' She stated, shrugging. One could tell she was sad.
Klaus understood how painful it might have been to have someone's mind shattered in a million pieces, trying to deal with the bad things over the good and still feeling like her actions were profoundly wrong and still enjoying it.
'How did you go through all that and still manage to control yourself so well?', he asked fascinated how a vampire could still impress him. Caroline, the baby vampire, dealing with her own nature that could have broken her forever, chose to survive and was strong enough to manage that. He knew he shouldn't be gloating over her suffering, he was not, but he was just glad she was strong; perhaps, if she were born a lot earlier than she was she could be paired to him. The thought was delightful to him, as he smiled.
She asked herself why that smile was for, but she answered him anyway, 'Thanks but as you saw tonight…' Klaus gave her a look that said "that's not the point here" and so she moved on. 'Fine, fine, I get it. I'd have to accept my own nature. I didn't like to kill people to survive, but putting me out there in danger and alone as I was, I had to learn to accept that sometimes I wasn't given any other choice. The years before Bruce's teaching me how to control myself when anger and hunger stroke back together I fought a lot with myself. I couldn't kill without feeling hungrier and more vindictive and I couldn't kill without feeling remorse and self-hate. I couldn't be with anyone, I hated myself. If my friends saw me like that… until there was Tyler.' Niklaus could tell she held her tongue when saying her ex-boyfriend's name, noticing she held a quite yet powerful resentment against him, which amused him to no end. Caroline noticed his rejoicing in her feelings very explicit around that unworthy piece of hybrid but chose to ignore it, as it was how she felt too, wrong or right to do so, she hated Tyler's guts until the very end for what he've done. 'Tyler showed up one time, and seeing me killing some group of robbers who had lost themselves', the way she putted it Klaus suspected she had an hand or two in that and he actually giggled, earning an annoyed glare from the blonde vampire.
'I'm sorry, love, but I'm enjoying seeing you so… powerful.' She blushed at the comment and continued. 'Tyler judge me, the person I knew that was trying to get you killed and then your child and her mother, he was a monster too and I couldn't take it, I've lost my temper I told him everything. How I appreciated more someone who was honest with his own nature, that didn't cling on every quest of revenge and did not care about what other may say. I figured it out that, if he was feeling that I was a monster, a terrible person, which I was I'm not trying to deny that, probably the rest of them were thinking the same too and I wouldn't bear them to be al judgemental when we all did terrible things to protect ourselves, to guarantee our survival. They were just a bunch of hypocrites and my life was full of that by then I decided to stop caring about them. I didn't hear of them since then and I don't intend to.', the last part she said without any sadness in her voice. It was the plain truth and he knew she dwell on that for such a long time so she could find peace as she was in now. The beautiful Caroline was not to be so cold towards someone who once meant the world to her without deep thinking and reasoning. It may took a lot of courage to let go of her friends and be alone for a thousand years.
'I'm sorry. I mean I'm glad you started to accept yourself' he said making a move towards her, she noticed and she made sure he knew she wasn't indifferent, assuming a permissive posture. 'I recall having one little chat with you about that.' She laughed it off, 'You recall too much, although I must say you were right. I… admire you for that', she smiled more gently as he cupped her face, a soft caress without demanding of its own.
'For what, love?', he was delighted with her acceptance. He couldn't believe how good it was to finally be able to touch her without her hostility showing off at him.
'For always being straight forward and know the real world so you could open my eyes, although I was not very forthcoming. I guess it is your age, you don't have that humanized version of the world anymore. As a recent vampire back then I tried to think like a human, and I was not. Maybe because of that I've seen my brain shut itself and tried to implode', she smirked without humour.
'I'm sorry it was that bad, I never knew you could suffer like that', he said, genuinely sorry. He gave her a little smile 'enough of your tales of lost years and terrible people. Let's just sleep and tomorrow will be a new, exciting day', he said very Klaus-like with a tricky smile on his face and cute dimples showing off. She was fascinated. 'Have anyone already told you that you have an adorable smile?'
He stopped walking to look at her, he seemed frightened. 'Nik, I mean, Klaus it was… it was not… please don't take me wrong on this one. I'm not…' he touched her gently, a soft caress of his hands touching hers so she could be silent for a little awhile.
'Caroline, just stop', he said, his eyes laying fervently on hers, almost pleading, a side he knew he would only show to her.
'Let us start over again. We have been through a lot, why would we be restrained by our past? Let's just enjoy ourselves for this moment here, shall we?. That is all I am asking for, love. Promise', he was with a playful smile in his face that could make Caroline concede him everything he wanted. 'Fine, we'll start over. Let us know each other. But that means knowing everything of our past and, love, you already know mine', she winked at him, kissed his cheek goodbye and flew off leaving a very dreamy Klaus on the stairs to the rooms. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn't unworthy of a real, loyal friendship, he smiled at the thought. But his sharp mind thought again "or maybe she's playing again with you."
