No More Scars
"What are you still doing here?" North shouted.
"Go away, you're not wanted." Tooth hissed with venom.
"In fact, you're hated and despised." Bunny growled.
"You're a traitor." Said Tooth.
"We tried to make you Guardian! Can you believe the mistake we were about to make! We protect children; all you do is hide wonder, take away memories, make them lose all hope, and then kill them!" North boomed.
Sandy made a form of a criminal behind bars, then the criminal dead. The criminal was Jack Frost.
….
"We should have never trusted you!"
…..
Jack's eyes flew open wide to see the ceiling of his room at the North Pole. His body was covered in frost, and he breathed as if he had just outflew a jet. His eyes danced wildly in fear as he tried to remember where he was.
Jack sat up and took a deep breath. He looked over at his hoodie that was resting on a chair, where he'd put it last night.
Why do I ever even bother sleeping? This is what happens every time, even after becoming a Guardian.
Because, stupid boy, you're so vulnerable and a coward.
"No! Not the voices, no, no, no. B-but, they left! A-after Pitch, they went away!" He said fantically.
You can't get rid of us, Jack.
No! All you do is lie to me! Go away! Jack covered his ears, like he had many times, though he knows that it never keeps the voices out.
Oh, Jack. We don't lie, we only tell you the truth. The cold, hard truth. Because that's how you like things Jack; cold, icy, and dead.
I'm not going to listen to you! You lied to me all those years! The Guardians care about me! Not you! Leave me alone!
Who are you kidding, Jack? The Guardians don't care about you, and you know it. They only took notice of you when they needed your help. And as soon as you messed up, they shunned you. You betrayed them, so they betrayed you. Simple.
No! T-They care! They do! T-they said so, so you must be lying!
They only say that because they see you as a threat. If they can keep you under wraps, if you're out of their way, then they can care for the children. They do just fine without you.
No, I don't believe you! Just… just leave me, please!
You know how to get rid of us, Jack. You know you can't stop it this time. There is only one way to get rid of us.
Jack looked up with tears in his eyes. He did know, and he did want the voices to be gone, but he had been so sure that all of that was behind him when he became a Guardian. He sighed, and hung his head.
Jack stood up from his bed, and opened the drawer beside it. With shaky hands he grabbed the knife and watched it reflect the light from the windows. He summoned the wind to shut the drapes, making it darker inside the room.
Jack held the knife to his wrist and began pushing down. He jerked and a small cut appeared when he heard someone shout.
"Jack? Wake up! We need ya'." Bunny shouted from the other side of his door. Jack's eyes went wide and he shoved the knife back in the drawer and shut it hard. He looked down at his arm and ran to the sink inside the bathroom. He scrubbed the blood from his arm and dashed back out to slip his blue hoodie on.
….
North watched as Jack casually glided in. Jack noticed the look North was giving him, and then looked at the rest of the Guardians. They were all looking at him, but he didn't know why. He pushed down the nagging thoughts that the voices were right, and continued to act normal.
"So… what's up?" He asked.
"Don't you remember, Jack? I reminded you every day for past week that meeting was this morning." North said.
"Oh, yeah, the meeting. I totally meant to be casually late." Jack smirked, completely lying. He hoped that they didn't notice that his smile was fake. He still felt off this morning.
Tooth, unfortunately, seemed to notice.
"Jack, is everything alright?" She asked, her voice had an edge of concern. That surprised him, but he shrugged it off.
"Of, course. I'm fine!" Jack denied the look she was giving him.
"Are you sure mate? You seem funny today." Bunny said.
"What? I'm perfectly fine guys." Jack laughed nervously. He wanted to slap himself, that so sounded fake.
"Others are right, Jack. You have been acting weird lately." North said.
"No, I haven't. I'm fine." Jack said, growing irritated.
"Man in Moon says you have a problem." North said. Jack jerked his head up to the skylight displaying the moon. His face hardened and he held back a snarl. After becoming a Guardian, Jack realized how stupid he had been about thinking that the man in the moon was his friend. If he was so nice and good, why did he abandon Jack? Man in Moon obviously picks favorites. Jack Frost loathes the Man in the Moon.
"Oh, yeah? Like what?" He asked, his voice held a bit of anger in it.
"We thought you'd like to tell us." North said.
"Hmmm, no thanks." Jack retorted.
"So there is something wrong?" Tooth asked. Jack looked back up at the moon. If looks could kill.
"Jack, Man in Moon-"
"Man in Moon what, North? What, d-does he even care the slightest? Duh, no! He never cared, so just drop it!" Jack said, his voice raising, but not quite yelling.
"Jack, we need-" Tooth started.
"No, Tooth! He doesn't care. Where was he when I didn't know who I was? When I didn't know why no one could see me, when I didn't know my purpose, when not a soul would look at me, when I needed someone to help me? If he cared, then he would have talked to me, he would have explained things to me, he would have helped me!" Jack was shouting, and now completely un-aware that his guarded thoughts were now spilling now out of his mouth. "He would have answered me, he would have listened to my pleas for an end, he would have shut up those stupid voices, he would have kept me from bleeding, he would have made sure I wasn't alone, he would have stopped the nightmares, he would have at least ended my miserable life!"
Jack fell to his knees and tears fell freely down his cheeks. The guardians looked at each other. Jack Frost had been alone for three-hundred years. And yet he had appeared to be mostly fine. But he'd fooled them all. Really, Jack was broken into a million pieces inside.
Jack had now curled into himself and was rocking back and forth.
"Go away, shut up, go away. No, you're lying, you've always lied." He mumbled. "You're right, I'm a failure. I'm horrible, I'm awful. Scum, traitor."
Jack began scratching at himself. "No, no, shut up, go away, shut up!"
"Jack!" Tooth flew over to him and put an arm around his shoulders. He looked up and his eyes seemed to be glassed over with fear. She smiled at him, and his eyes un-clouded. Then they took on a new fear, and he shrugged Tooth's arm off.
"No, what did I just do! You worthless, baby." Jack muttered, not believing what he had done in front of all the Guardians.
….. (Switching to Tooth's POV.)
"Jack you are not worthless." Tooth said seriously. This caused Jack to look back up at her. His eyes we're rapidly switching from his electric blue color, to the strange cloudy look.
Jack looked around at North, Bunny, and Sandy. They all had sad, concerned looks on their faces.
"Y-You guys… care?" He asked more than said. His true, blue eyes staring at them, un-believing.
"Of course we do." Bunny said.
"B-but, why?" Jack looked around at them in doubt. The Guardians looked at each other, and they all realized that, for being the Guardians of Childhood, they did a terrible job with Jack.
Jack, who would be permanently a teenager, but still a child at heart, was their biggest failure. In the very beginning, the memories that could have helped him so much, were lost. So many years of trying and trying again to be seen, somewhere in between he lost his hope. During all the pain he had endured, the wonder had faded into the background. And never had Jack had sweet dreams, instead he was plagued by nightmares every time he slept.
Sandy looked up at North, telling him to speak.
"Jack, we're so, so sorry. What happened to you, should happen to no one." North said.
"Why didn't you come to us, Jack?" Tooth asked.
"I tried." He said quietly in a low voice. "I tried once before to come here inside the workshop, but I was always thrown out. That's when I first realized that I simply wasn't wanted."
"Oh, Jack." Tooth whispered.
"T-That's when I figured out how to get the voices to go away." Jack said with a bitter-sweet smile.
"What do you mean by 'voices', mate?" Bunny asked. Tooth caught Jack wince a little before he spoke.
"Well, it's what it sounds like. Voices. In my head. They constantly tell me the truth. A-about me, and what I do." Jack said.
"And what kind of 'truths' do these voices tell you?" North asked.
"I'm a worthless, un-wanted, traitorous, evil, murderer." Jack looked at his hands. "Who am I kidding, I'm the worst person you guys could have ever picked for a Guardian. I kill people. Innocent children! I also kill what you guys bring; hope, memories, wonder, and dreams."
"No, that's not true." Tooth said, she crouched next to him again and she placed a hand on his back, even though he flinched a little at her touch. "If anyone in here is a bad Guardian, it's us. We let hope, wonder, memories, and dreams die in you."
"I'm so sorry." Bunny mumbled. Jack looked at him.
"What for?" He asked.
"For not guarding you." North said.
Silence hung in the air as Jack refused to look at any of them.
"So," Bunny broke the silence. "What did you do to keep the voices away?"
Jack didn't move for a while. Then he stood up and looked at Tooth, who was now hovering at his height next to him. He visibly swallowed and took a deep breath. He then moved his hands down to the bottom of his hoodie and tugged it off.
Tears formed at Tooth's eyes as she looked on. Jack's stood with his back facing them. Three long scars ran across his back. He then slowly turned around, and this caused Tooth to shed a few tears. His arms were covered with scars, some looking newer than others. But what nearly made her sob, was the word 'worthless' cut sideways into his chest. His stomach had a few other small scars, as if he'd been stabbed repeatedly.
"Jack, who did this to you?" Bunny growled. Jack made a noise that almost sounded like a whimper.
"Myself." He whispered.
Tooth flung herself at him, and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders. Slowly, he put his arms around her and hugged her close. Jack soon began crying lightly into her feathers.
Tooth pulled away and looked Jack in the eyes.
"Jack, you are not worthless." Tooth repeated her words from before. Though now, she wanted him to understand this more than ever. "I'm so sorry, that we were weren't there for you before, but we're here for you now."
Tooth grabbed Jack's hand, and he leaned his forehead on her shoulder. She could hear him taking deep, shaky breaths.
"Do you still do this to yourself?" North asked. Jack didn't move to look at North, but he answered, his voice a little muffled by Tooth's body.
"I thought it would stop when I became a Guardian. But they came back." He said.
"When?" Tooth asked. She looked over at Sandy, and found that he was battling tears like she was.
"This morning." Jack said. He lifted his head and looked at her, to the others, and then back to her. He looked into her eyes for a mere second before hanging his head, as if ashamed.
"I don't know any other way to keep them away. I-if I hurt myself, they go away, as if they're pleased. This morning, they came back." Jack lifted his arm to show the new cut on his wrist.
Bunny dashed out of the room, and came back a minute later.
"Found this in the nightstand, mate." He said, holding up a knife while he looked at Jack. The knife had just a little bit of blood on it.
Jack glanced at it, but quickly looked away. Bunny went to the window, opened it, and chucked the knife outside.
"There, now it's gone." Bunny said.
"I don't need the knife, you know." Jack said. "I can just make sharp icicles."
Tooth shivered, and it wasn't because of the winter spirit standing close to her.
"Why didn't you tell us before?" Sandy asked, using his sand.
"Because."
"Because the voices said we would leave you if you did, didn't they?" Bunny guessed. Jack nodded hesitantly.
Tooth cared for Jack, a lot more than she might admit, and she didn't like seeing him this way. He was supposed to be all smiles, cheery, and full of fun and mischief.
"What can we do to help?"
…..
Jack skidded to a stop on the floor of Tooth Palace. He looked around at all the colors and the small fairies flitting about. Then he spotted Tooth, the exact person he was hoping to see.
It had been a couple of months since Jack's breakdown in front of the Guardians. His life changed that day dramatically, more than it had when he became the Guardian of Fun.
Everyone helped him in every way they could. This shocked Jack so much, that he nearly broke down a second time. Sandy helped by making sure he was the first person in the world to receive good dreams. Bunny spent as much extra time with Jack as he could, building a wonderful friendship between them. North became like a father to Jack, checking on him often, talking to him, and getting him to help with stuff around the workshop. And Tooth… Jack didn't know what to say about Tooth. They were great friends, but there was just something different about their friendship. He first felt this feeling when she hugged him after defeating Pitch. Now, the feeling is something he craves. It's the thing that completely keeps him together, like glue.
"Tooth!" Jack shouted. She looked down at him and her face lit up. She zipped down to him, and gave him a quick hug.
"Hi, Jack." She said. He smiled at her and he caught her blush. Jack tried not to laugh.
"Tooth, they're almost all gone!" He exclaimed.
"Really? That's great Jack!" Tooth squeaked.
"Yes! Look." Jack jerked his hoodie off and showed that only one scar remained on his chest. North had provided a salve to apply to his scars. Every day, Jack cover them with the salve, and slowly they began to fade. Now he had one left, the last reminder of his sorrow. He had wanted to share this great news with Tooth.
"Oh, Jack. This is great!" Tooth said softly. He pulled his hoodie back on and looked back at her. Jack slowly flew closer and wrapped his arms around Tooth's waist. He hugged her tight, and breathed in her scent.
"Thank you." He said in her ear.
"I'm glad you told us." Tooth said.
"Me too." Jack pulled away. "I couldn't be happier right now."
"Really?" Tooth asked.
"Well, actually." Jack smiled. He jerked his face upward and kissed her on the cheek. "There, now I am."
The two Guardians both laughed, as Jack pulled her into another hug.
Jack Frost's old wounds had finally been healed. Not even new scars remained.
A/N
Well this was super sappy! What did you all think? Should I have left out the slight RainbowSnowcone or what?
To all people who do self-harm, have eating disorders, or doubt their self- worth.
You guys are going to be okay, life may be beating you down, but if you let Jesus Christ heal your scars, all will be right. Jesus loves and cares for you, as do I.
I pray for all those who have read this story. Jesus says you're more precious and worthy than his own life. Jesus loves you.
~Annanarra
