Disclaimer: I don't own these characters but sometimes I invite them over…
Chapter 2: Porcelain Confessions
And the Walls Came Tumbling Down
Having narrowly escaped the lion's den, Kate's taken up residence in the ladies room at the Old Haunt. She braces herself against the sink in the tiny bathroom grateful for a minute alone. She needs to garner control of the situation and she needs to do it quickly. Moments before, she'd fled the scene of the crime and left him, standing, in the middle of the dance floor, speechless.
She can't face him yet. She needs a few minutes to get it together, that's all, and then she'll march right back out there and fix this whole mess. Of course, she's pretty sure she's stopping for a mild panic attack first.
She braves a look at her reflection in the mirror and cringes at the woman before her. It's worse than she expected and she's mortified. This is bad. The jigs up. She brings her fingertips to her cheeks and takes it all in – the flushed face, red, splotchy spots on her chest, dilated pupils, wanton expression. Her palms are sweaty and her heart is still racing in her chest. She remembers his heat and the way his hard body felt pressed up against hers on the dance floor. She's aching for him in places she forgot she had. What the hell just happened?
They were at the precinct earlier when he asked if she wanted to grab dinner…
It was all perfectly innocent. They were just two good friends, agreeing to grab dinner together after a long, hard day at work. What harm could possibly come of it? They shared meals together all the time. Plus, she'd broken an imaginary girls' night out so she could accompany him because it would be the perfect opportunity for her to extract her revenge. Perfectly, innocent…
He'd been toying with her for over a week now. He might think his motives were pure, but how dare he try to manipulate her. He thought he could break her resolve, and will her to change her mind about waiting on a relationship with him. Did he really think she wouldn't figure it out? Does he not know by now how competitive she is? Well, two could play at that game Mr. Castle…
They'd just finished up dinner…
He'd sweetly, asked her to dance. One flash of internal conflict, and two great big, blue puppy dog eyes later, she found herself promptly whisked onto the dance floor. Yes, there were warning bells, but the music was apparently louder.
Other couples were dancing too - not that she and Rick were a couple. It was really no big deal. Friends dance together all the time. Not them, of course, but other friends do. It didn't mean they were on a date or anything. It was simply the natural progression to the evening; dinner, dancing, revenge - nope, not a date.
They weren't on the dance floor for more than a minute when he'd pulled her to him, their bodies fitting so perfectly. A few minutes of that and she imagined there was only one other position in which they could possibly be considered any closer. As they continued to dance, she could feel his desire, in more ways than one, and glanced down to ensure she was, indeed, still fully clothed.
This was not the way it was supposed to go. This is not how Kate Beckett handles things. She's not the impulsive one – he is. She's not a shameless flirt – he is. She's not the one that comes up with outrageous plans, doomed for failure – that's his department. This man makes her crazy, makes her act out of character. She's always been the one in control. And now everything's gone to hell in a hand-basket. Damn him.
This is all Castle's fault! He's totally to blame. The man has absolutely no patience! She'd hoped he was going to be able to wait for her but now she can see she was wrong. She should have known better. He's been playing her, handling her. Doesn't he know her well enough by now, to realize that approach couldn't possibly ever work with her? And his shameless attempts at seduction, at every turn, every day, for over week. Did he really think she wouldn't notice? It's been a regular blitzkrieg!
She was determined to stay focused but…
He was very distracting – her mind was screaming at her to be strong, but her body had other ideas. Her body was responding to him, her senses were in overload. His neck smelled incredible. She wanted to feast on it. She wondered what else his big firm hands could do. She wanted to look in his eyes and know it would all be ok. This was a taste of the horizontal…this was the way it could be.
She pushed those thoughts aside, forced her attention back to her surroundings and was hit with the blinding realization that he set all of this up too…The low lights, romantic music, not to mention the brand, freaking, new dance floor that wasn't even there 3 weeks ago. It was time to turn the tables on Mr. Castle, teach him a lesson. She moved closer, brought her arms around his neck, her cheek to his…
Once she discovered his nefarious plan, she decided there would be a little payback – Beckett style. Her brilliant, but apparently, not-so well thought out, plan, was to rattle his cage, have a little fun at his expense. Since she now had the upper hand, she would tease him to oblivion, get him at his own game, and then call him out on it. She'd remind him who was in charge – review the boundary lines. They'd share a few laughs over it, he would realize she still wasn't ready for anything more with him at this time and things would go back to normal. Denial – they do it so well.
Having to hide out in the ladies room was most definitely not part of the plan.
The only cage getting rattled here was hers. And now he knows her weakness. What was she thinking? She should have known better than to play with fire. Why did she think they could ignore it? Their sexual chemistry is insane. They're like magnets. Why did she think for a minute it would only be a game?
Their dance continued…
Her arms around his neck allowed her access to play. Her fingers fiddled with his hair. It was softer than she imagined and she felt him shiver. He was definitely enjoying himself. Pressed firmly together, their cheeks and bodies swayed to the music. He smelled delicious. His breath was tickling her ear. She made sure to return the favor.
His hands were at her waist, although she could imagine how they'd feel lower. Her lips were right next to his ear… she was debating whether or not to lick it when he stumbled a bit with his dancing. This amused her, he was so damn cute, and she couldn't stop the chuckle if she tried. She was pleased to see he's wasn't as in control as he'd like to think. Ha, take that Ricky Casanova…
This is all Castle's fault. He stormed her boundaries. He distracted and confused her and made her think about having things she knew she didn't have the right to have yet. She can't think clearly around him. Not when he smells so good and touches her so perfectly and looks like he wants to push her up against the nearest wall and kiss her, then drag her off to his bedroom for wild…. And why the hell does he have to be so ….relentless.
She didn't plan on being overwhelmed by him. She thought she was stronger. She thought she had more self-restraint. He's gotten her all hot and bothered and she let her guard down. She'd been ten seconds away from a lap dance.
Embarrassment, of course, turns to blame of an unusual nature…
She needs a freaking tennis racket to swat off the pheromones! How much can one woman be expected to take? And why the hell is he wooing her like she's the last woman on the planet? She's broken damnit. She's making progress with her therapy, true, but she isn't whole yet. There are still walls to be broken down. He knows this. She might never be fixed. Why would he love someone so broken when he can have anyone he wants?
She can't dodge the incoming ice cold, mental slap of water that hits her over the head.
He loves her. She realizes she just thought "love" and not "want". He doesn't just want her. It's not just about sex for either of them. He really does love her. And, holy crap, she knows she loves him too. She's really in love this time. She needs to sit down, but there's no chair. She makes a mental note to tell him he needs to put one in there.
She's in love with him…
She remembers his words when she was lying there, shot, and dying on the grass in the cemetery on that awful day. He meant them and she knows in her heart she feels the same way. But what if she's never fixed… How can she do that to him? He deserves better. She puts the "I love you Kate" out of her mind. It's too much. She files it back, away. She vows to think about it tomorrow, with a medical professional or maybe her hairdresser. She needs a cut.
Just not now - right now she has to come out of the freaking bathroom. She's got to go back out there, hold her head up high and face the music. She's been in there a ridiculous amount of time and she's a little surprised he hasn't sent someone in to check on her – or worse, barged in there himself.
She takes a deep breath. She'll be fine. If he pushes the subject, she'll simply have to admit she got caught up in the moment, she's only human. Then she'll tell him she's been on to his game all along and watch him squirm as he tries to deny it. Or she could just deny the whole thing, sleep on it and deal with it tomorrow. That would work too.
She gathers her purse and pauses for a final check in the mirror when her cell phone rings. It's Gates. A body has dropped. They have to go. She experiences a momentary twinge of guilt over being ecstatic for the perfect distraction, but gets over it immediately. Even she can appreciate Divine Intervention when she sees it.
A deep breath and out the door she goes…
Ten minutes had gone by since Kate took off into the ladies room. Rick stood there on the dance floor for about three of them trying to figure out what the hell went wrong. The other eight minutes he waited out at their table downing a shot and a beer. She was still in there, he knew, since he'd been watching the door. What the hell was taking her so long? It mystified him, how having lived with so many women over the years could still leave him baffled as to the intrinsic workings of their minds. He will never understand women.
He'd thought she'd finally come around. That she was ready to embark on a relationship with him. He thought the last brick might have dropped. He'd been so hopeful. She responded to him, it wasn't his imagination. He'd been around the block and Kate knew exactly what she was doing to him! He was putty in her hands. She wanted him and after all this time, they were finally on the same page.
They needed privacy, they needed to talk about this and they needed to get out of there fast before the whole place witnessed him dragging her down to his office. He thought about making everyone leave. He could close up the place for the night. It wasn't even nine, but he did own the place. But it just seemed wrong. Well, not wrong, really, but she'd probably kill him. He decides against it and congratulates himself on how much he's grown since he's met her. More proof.
Their first time together had to be romantic, special and not in his office. He'd been about to ask her to go back to his place but she wouldn't meet his eyes. Then she fled, ran for the hills. It was all very confusing. She's an enigma, his Kate. First she's hot and then she's cold. Then she's bold, then scared. She's part virgin, part seductress. He didn't know if he was coming or going. She sure was throwing some crazy signals his way. She was acting very Un-Beckett-like.
As he sat and slugged back the last of his beer when he was overcome with the strongest sensation… Wait a minute… oh my God, she knows…she's on to me. She's on to me and now she's decided to torture me. Then later when it's just the two of us, alone, she'll kill me in my sleep. Good Lord, he should have known better than to underestimate her. Well played, my little minx! Well, this does put a new spin on things…
He's mentally preparing his defense and he's a little afraid. He absentmindedly rubs his left ear, soothing it, in advance of the pulling he's sure it will get. He sees some big-time groveling in his future. His mind's reeling trying to conjure up satisfactory excuses for his seduction plan gone wrong, but he's having trouble coming up with anything. His body can't help but remember how soft she felt, pressed up against his chest, the electricity between them, the pounding of her heartbeat through their shirts. There's no way that was all an act. You can't fake a racing heart.
He tries to look at it objectively but it's not easy. Kate's smart and clever, cunning even, but that woman wanted him. He's sure of it. So…what's he going to do about it? What to do…what to do? Now that he knows she knows…should he beg forgiveness and convince her that his motives were pure? Or wait, and see how she plays this out. Then again, the little devil on his right shoulder tells him he could up the ante, and really have a little fun… He loves that guy.
Kate returns from the ladies room and he finds himself standing at attention. He's got no idea what her reaction is going to be. He puts on his best blank face. They must shop in the same place because she's wearing hers too. How he proceeds will be entirely up to her. He's watching her closely.
At first she's not making eye contact, but then her expression changes and she looks up at him with her serious face. Apparently, she's chosen the full, Beckett work mode, ensemble for the remainder of the evening. We're going with denial people. She tells him that she got a call, a body dropped and they have to go.
Well, what do you know… she's not calling him on his antics - yet. He thinks this is a good thing and it might work in his favor.
He nods and starts to ask her if she's ok, but she cuts him off and tells him they have to go, Esposito and Ryan will be waiting for them. He starts to respond, but then wisely shuts his mouth. He catches her glance at him nervously from under her lashes. He thinks for the hundredth time that she's the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.
She's clearly not unaffected from their earlier round of "chicken". She's fidgety. She glances to the dance floor. He knows what's she's thinking. She's thinking about before. So is he. He's making her nervous but at least she didn't shoot him or make him say "apples".
He wants so badly to kiss her. Grab her and kiss her and be done with it. With one kiss he could show her what she means to him. It would only be the beginning. He's going to kiss her forever. He decides to let it go for now. Work first, play later. Who says he's not patient?
Well, everyone, but that doesn't matter now. He can be patient, when need be. Timing is everything. Besides, things are going to get really interesting now. He's going to bring out the big guns…just not tonight.
He picks up their coats and extends his arm toward the doorway, making sure his hand is on the small of her back, leading her out to the street and their car. She's driving, of course – or so she thinks.
She briefly tells them about the latest victim, of what to expect at the crime scene. The rest of the ride was filled with silence, both of them getting their thoughts together, separately. If questioned, he wouldn't say she appeared angry at him, but he would have to agree she looked annoyed. That look, from her, directed at him, was pretty common so he figured no one would bat an eyelash.
They arrived at the crime scene to find Esposito, Ryan and Lanie, plus a dozen other law enforcement officials swarming around. He followed her in, but she stayed to speak with Lanie and he headed toward the safety of Esposito and Ryan, decidedly to give her a little space. He talked with the boys for a few minutes before they both asked him what was wrong and chided him for getting rattled by a crime scene. He denied being affected by the usual blood and gore, and then Ryan asked him what he did to piss Beckett off now.
He decided to change the subject and avoided their speculative glances. He asked them if they wanted to catch some beers after work tomorrow night. He suggested they have a Boys Night Out. They don't do that as much as they should. He thought they all could use a night to blow off some steam. He knew he could.
They first looked at each other, then at him, assessing the situation with their unspoken bro-talk. Nodding to each other, they agreed it sounded like a good idea. They went back to talking about the case.
A short distance from the boys, Beckett could be seen pulling Lanie off to the side for a private conference and to get their stories aligned. Her eyes search out Castle's location to find him safely talking with Espo and Ryan, so she quickly informs Lanie she needs her help. She may have told Castle a little white lie. Kate's got her full attention.
The cover story is as follows - she and Kate were supposed to go out tonight for dinner and a Girls Night Out, but something came up. Lanie called Kate at the precinct around dinner time to reschedule until tomorrow night. Tomorrow night they have to go out to dinner and maybe out to a bar for dancing.
Lanie's smiling and nodding and thinking this must be really good. Kate's all flustered and plotting lies and eyeballing Castle. She loves this side of Kate. She replies sure, but it will cost her. Kate's appalled but agrees. Lanie's condition is that she wants full disclosure. She wants to be told what the hell's going on between Kate and Castle, and why Kate keeps glancing nervously in the direction of said writer, turned crime-fighter - more than usual.
Kate declares nothing's going on, but can see Lanie's not buying what she's selling. She pretends to think it over for a minute. Lanie's patiently awaiting a response - a real one, not BS. Kate confesses that yes, there may be a thing or two going on, but now is not the time and place for that discussion. Tomorrow night, she'll tell her everything, Kate promises.
She also tells Lanie there's a catch. Kate wants to hear what's going on between Esposito and Lanie -and not just the "friends with benefits crap". Funnily enough, then Lanie agrees, now's not the best time and place for either discussion, but notes her friend still does look fairly distraught. She asks Kate if she's sure she's going to be ok and Kate assures her friend she'll be fine. She just needs a good night sleep. Lanie smirks and her eyebrows rise to her hairline, so Kate adds quickly, blushing… Alone! Lanie replies, with a final glance toward Castle, "Well now, that's just a damn shame…"
A/N: Thank you for your previous reviews! If you have a second, please review this chapter and let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome!
