BIGWIG'S POV

I don't feel good. I haven't felt good in days. I'm not sick, but I don't feel like going on patrol, or training or anything. I don't even feel like eating, the very thought of grass and flayrah makes me nauseous for some reason. All I'v done for three days straight is lie around all day and sleep. It was ok the first day, Hawkbit, Dandelion, and Kehaar were all still recovering from the 'great bee attack' from the last patrol, Pipkin and Fiver were still half asleep, and Hannah was sleep walking most of the time. So I gave the owsla a day off that day, and on the second day, we all overslept, so it was too late to go on patrol.

It was only when I didn't wake up at the crack of dawn, and didn't wake the owsla for patrol, did anyone notice something was wrong with me. Like I said earlier, I'm not sick but I'm not exactly feeling good either. I started feeling like this after a dream I had. The dream wasn't like anything I usually dream of, but it was about something personal. Something I thought I couldn't remember.

In my dream, I was sleeping with my brothers but I kept hearing my parents voices. They were talking about something I couldn't understand. The few words I could make out were: "What about the children?…Should just go…Are you sue we should?…For the best..". I was hardly a youngster then, I heard those words but they didn't make sense to me at the time. The memory of them just disappeared as I grew up.

I was one of ten children at the time. Russell, Almond, Pine, Taint, Juniper and Landon were my older brothers, Sage was my twin brother and Gooseberry and Marion were my younger brothers. I didn't have any sisters, something my mother wanted very much. She wanted to have a baby girl in her family, but it never happened. My parents drifted apart before they could have anymore children.

My father was a warrior, he wasn't in the owsla but he was one of the bravest bucks in Sandleford. He was the hole reason why I wanted to be captain of owsla, even though he wasn't a captain. He was a bold buck, with a thirst for adventure. My mother was more of the peaceful, stay at home type of doe. I think this is why they separated. My father wanted to go on adventures and travel the world, and my mother just wanted to stay at Sandleford and raise a family. So my father left, and I never saw him again.

Sessions later, I became a captain of owsla, like I wanted to be, Sage became a sentry guard, and all my other brothers found mates and had their own children. By the time Fiver had that vision about Sandleford's destruction, I had several nieces and nephews. Too many to name and too many to count! It was obvious to everyone that Sage and I were the introverts of the family. Not insisted in does, and spending most of them time to ourselves. Except for when we were together. But Sage had Father's adventurous side, and he left the warren to go on his own adventures. I haven't seen or heard from him since. I tried to tell my brothers about Fiver's vision, but they won't believe me. They always thought Fiver was insane and never liked him. They also didn't like Hazel, they thought he was trouble. My eight sisters-in-law didn't like them either, and insisted on keeping the children away from Hazel and Fiver. That was the main reason why I didn't talk to any of them much.

To this day, I feel guilt for not forcing them to come with us. If they came with me, they would still be alive. They would have been happy in Watership Down, no elil, no fear. All my nieces and nephews would have more then enough space to play in, and..And maybe they would have changed their minds about Hazel and Fiver. Not just my brothers, but their mates too. I also regret the last conversation I ever had with my family. It was a horrible fight, we yelled and shouted at each other, Anger filled words flying back and forth. It was as if we had all gone mad. I'm just glad none of the children were there to witness it.

Finally, I ran out of that burrow and joined Hazel and the others. That was the last time I ever saw my family. I'll never forgive myself for not telling them that I loved them, and not saying goodbye to the children, but the part I hate the most is, I could have saved my family if I made them come with us. But I didn't. I abandoned my family for the black rabbit of ingle. The only ones who weren't killed in Sandleford were Sage and my father. I don't even know if their still alive. But that doesn't change anything. My other brothers and their mates and children are all dead because I didn't save them.

Since that first dream about my parents, I'v had dreams about them and my brothers. Dreams that give me both happy memories, and painful guilt. The dream I had the next night was about one of my nephews, Cranberry. He was laughing, his eyes were shining, a big smile was on his face. He was happy. He kept saying 'Come on, Uncle Bigwig!' I run after him as he leads me. I don't know where we'r going but he's happy, and I'm happy and I don't question it. But suddenly, the grass under my feet grow long and closes in on me like walls. Walls that threaten to crush me if I don't hurry. I try to get away from the long grass, but I'm trapped in it and I can't get out. I suddenly get scared that Cranberry could be in trapped in the long grass but when I call out to him, the grass gets caught in my mouth and I choke…And then I woke up, still muttering Cranberry's name.

Cranberry and I use to play with each other in my free time, but we never got trapped in grass before. That dream was more like a nightmare, then any good memory.

The last dream was the strangest. In it, I was on patrol with the owsla, and suddenly I hear someone calling me. I don't know who the voice belongs to, or where it came from but as I look for whoever it was that called me, it gets really foggy and I can't see Fiver, or Pipkin, or Kehaar, or Hannah, or Hawkbit or even Dandelion anywhere. But even then, I still hear that voice call me. Suddenly, I see a shadow in the form of a rabbit hoping around. Calling my name. I answer the voice and the rabbit disappears. I don't know why, but I need to find the rabbit. So I call out to him and look for him but as I'm running, I'm going no where.

Then I woke up, covered in sweat. I haven't slept since. I'v had small dreams about Sandleford in my naps but I don't feel like napping anymore. My head hurts every time I wake up from a dream, and I can't stop thinking about the dreams.

Why am I having these dreams? I haven't had dreams like these for months. And even then, I never dreamt about things like these before. I know I should probably tell someone about them, but I don't know who. I certainly can't tell Hawkbit or Dandelion, they'll just think I'm crazy or something. Hannah, Kehaar, Primrose, Blackavar, Strawberry and Clover won't know what I'm talking about, and probably won't understand. "Don't you want to go on patrol?" Asked Hazel's voice. He must have hopped into my burrow when I wasn't listening.

"Not today." I said, shaking my head. When Hazel didn't say anything else, I looked at him. He was sitting next to me, looking at me with concern. "Are you ok, Bigwig?" He asked. I frowned at him, annoyed with his question. "I'm not sick, Hazel." I growled at him. He didn't even blink. "But are you ok?"

My frown slowly dissolves and a deep sigh escapes my throat. "..No..Not really." I say as I sit up. "Whats wrong?" He asked. I hesitate and look down. Should I really tell him? What would he think? That I'v lost my mind? As if reading my mind, Hazel touches my shoulder, making me look at him. "Bigwig, I'm your friend, you can tell me anything and I promise I'll understand." He said, looking at me in the eyes. I sigh again. I can't keep the dreams to myself anymore.

"I'v been having dreams about my family." Hazel raised an eye brow. "Your family? What about them?" He asked. I told him about the one with my parents talking, then the one about Cranberry, and then about the one with the mysterious figure. When I finished, Hazel looked just as baffled as I felt. "You haven't talked about your family ever since Holly came to Watership down, why are you suddenly having dreams about them?" He asked. I shrugged. "Thats what I want to know." I crossed my arms. "But that shadowy figure…I never saw him before, but he knew my name."

Hazel frowns slightly. "You sure it wasn't Sage?" I shook my head. "No. If it was Sage, the figure would have been the same shape as my shadow. It wasn't Sage, it was a total stranger." I told him. I sigh again, remembering Cranberry, and how happy he seemed in the dream. "Its my fault my family is dead, Hazel. If I hadn't left them in Sandleford, they would still be alive…I..I basically killed them-" Hazel surprises me by wrapping his arms around me. Hugging me.

I'm so surprised by this, that it silences me. A more calmer feeling overcomes me, and I suddenly feel better. Why is Hazel hugging me? He never hugged me before-Except for Fiver and Primrose..And I haven't hugged anyone since Sandleford. "Its not your fault, Bigwig. You didn't mean to leave them behind. Please don't blame yourself for their deaths." He said in a comforting voice. I'm surprised by the comfort, but its enough to make my guilt disappear. I wrapped my shaking arms around Hazel and returned the hug. "..Thank you, Hazel.."

Russell, Taint, Gooseberry, Marion, Almond, Pine, Juniper, Landon and their mates were wrong about Hazel. He's not trouble of any kind. He's wise, kind-hearted, clever and brave. I'm glad he's also my best friend.


When Hazel and I went outside, we saw Fiver laying on the ground and shaking violently. Another vision. "Fiver! What is it?" Hazel ran over to him, as I followed. Fiver was staring straight into the sky, eyes looked onto nothing in particular. "Uhhh…..They come searching for him..They don't know danger awaits them..Run away rabbit, run away! Danger is on its way!" When the vision ended, Fiver shook his head. Shaking from the shock. "What was that one about?" Asked Dandelion. He and Hawkbit had hopped closer.

"Woundworts army is out on patrol, their hunting two rabbits." Said Fiver as he rubbed his head. "So? Whats so special about that? Their always hunting rabbits." Hawkbit retorted.

"Yes but this is different. Those rabbit are looking for Bigwig." I can feel the color drain from my face as Fiver says that. The shadowy figure from my dream appeared in my mind. Calling my name, searching for me. I look out at the horizon beyond Watership down.

Who are those rabbits? And what do they want with me?


A/N: I know I gave Bigwig a lot of brothers and nieces and nephews, but then again, rabbits tend to have a lot of babies so I hope that works. And yes I made Hazel and Bigwig have a hug moment, I love friendship hugs X3 You may also notice I changed my usual point of view signal. Usually, I just write the characters name and then 'pov' in uppercase letters and thats it. But I'm trying something new, and I might continue on with that small change.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review!