I couldn't stop feeling like shit. Not, 20 minutes ago, I was happy, and smiling holding onto Kendall as he drove us, and James to Carlos and Sam's house. But 5 minutes before we pulled into the Costco parking lot to grab drinks for a party that I was invited to via James, James got a text. From Sam. Telling him, to tell me, to not worry about the drinks. I wasn't too worried about it. I didn't have to spend my money on anything. But what bugged me, is Sam couldn't text me. I didn't know why. And it pissed Kendall off, to the point he was yelling about it, with James, also pissed off. I remained quiet, as Kendall squeezed my hand every now and then and even remained still, even when we pulled up in front of the already packed, and loud house. Their house was on a very suburban street, with white picket fences, and American Flags hanging from every patio. It was everything opposite of Carlos and Sam. But I wasn't going to say a word about it. "You want to even go in?" I turned to Kendall fast and nodded taking off my seatbelt.
"Seriously Loges…we could go back to your guys apartment and have our own party." I forced a big smile getting out of the car fast, pushing the seat up for James to get out. He gave me a sad look as he did, but I brushed him off. I slammed the door shut hard and watched Kendall walk around the front of the car, putting his keys into the front pocket of his jeans. He wrapped an arm around my neck and gently started to pull me up to the door. "I don't think we'll be here all that long dude. You hear that piano in there?" I frowned as we approached the door slowly and did in fact hear a piano playing. "What has she done to our Carlos?" I shook my head wrapping my fingers in Kendall's hanging down on my chest and sighed out as Kendall raised his other hand, and knocked on the door loudly, and aggressively. I heard loud, fake laughs form at least two girls and tensed up, as the door pulled open hard. Sam's face appeared first, and the huge smile she did have on her face disappeared. There was a tall skinny blonde girl next to her, who also frowned as soon as she saw us. "Ladies." James's deep voice made me smirk as Sam rolled her eyes and stepped back away from her front door, motioning us in. "So where are the real owners of this house? Cause I know for sure it ain't you and Carlos." I shoved James gently as he stepped in before me, and let Kendall go, walking in fast avoiding eye contact with Sam and the girl behind her. I glanced around quick at the beautiful, clean living room, where a few people were standing around all holding champagne glasses and wearing suites. And dresses. Which meant James Kendall and I were all way too under dressed.
"I'm glad you guys made it." As I turned to look at Sam finally, the girl behind her got beside her and tilted her head.
"Even though you are late." I heard a chuckle from Kendall beside me and reached down quick, grabbing his hand. "The party is over at 6. It started at noon." Sam turned quick and shook her head.
"It's alright. They are my friends." The blonde looked down to Sam fast, and then back up at us, smiling big.
"All of them?" She looked right at Kendall when she said it and he squeezed my hand. "Excuse me. I need to check on the refreshments." As she started to walk away I heard Kendall clear his throat.
"Check on refreshments, or hide the silver?" She glanced back over her shoulder and I yanked on Kendall's arm looking up at his face. He turned to Sam fast and smirked. "She seems like a nice girl." I sighed out turning to Sam who had her arms crossed over her chest staring at me. Almost like she was sad.
"Well…it looks like you two should talk so why don't Kendall and I go liven this party up?" I let Kendall's hand go fast as James grabbed him from in front of me and pulled him in between Sam and me. I looked at his face as he walked by and smiled small. He smiled back and blew me a kiss, before turning to James and shoving his hand off his chest. I turned back to Sam fast and smiled awkwardly.
"It's good to see you Logan." I nodded putting my hands in my short pockets and looked down. She was wearing a thin strapped pink summer dress. "Sorry we haven't hung out in a while. It's been crazy with Anna and moving…and all the planning were doing for the wedding." I smiled and shrugged.
"It's alright. I understand." She nodded and bit at her bottom lip, tugging softly. "Your house is beautiful by the way." She laughed and glanced around, shrugging again.
"It's too small for my taste but a nice little starter house for Carlos and I." I glanced around the living room again and felt weird and awkward. "Would you like a drink? Or some food?" I turned back to her and nodded softly. "Come on." She gently touched my arm before turning and heading off to the same direction Kendall and James left in. I followed her close, ignoring the nicely dressed people staring at me. I at least looked like a country club member. Kendall and James did not. And I knew that was going to be an issue with all these hoity toity sorority and frat assholes.
Sam walked me through the huge dining room, and kitchen, all the way out to the huge backyard, filled with people. I tensed up and swallowed hard as she walked me to a long buffet style table, covered in platters of food and things. Next to the long table, was a dark wooden bar, with a guy in a vest and apron, standing behind it serving drinks. I felt a wave of panic race through me as she walked me to the bar and got behind it. I opened my mouth to tell her I didn't want anything alcoholic, but when I saw her grab an ice-cold Coke can, I shut my mouth. She walked back out from behind the bar and handed the can to me smiling small. As I took it, she glanced over my shoulder, and her small smile she was wearing, left. I turned quick and saw the blonde girl from before walking to us, along with two other girls, all wearing short dresses and high heels. The two other girls were both brunettes, all three holding onto champagne glasses. "Sam that gorgeous friend of Carlos's is trying to get some of the girls to take off their clothes and go in the hot tub with him." I smirked as I turned and sort of stood next to Sam who chuckled.
"Also, his gross, thug druggie step-brother is making people uncomfortable." My smile fell off my face as I looked up at one of the brunette's holding tight around my coke can.
"I thought you said he wasn't allowed to come." I turned quick to Sam who was giving me a concerned look. "Oh…wait…you're his boyfriend, right?" I looked down fast, feeling my cheeks flush and watched Sam step forward, sort of in front of me. "You are way too cute and adorable to be with a guy like that."
"Ally shut up." I looked up biting on the inside of my cheek and looked at the side of Sam's face. She was looking at her three friends, shaking her head. "Why don't I go find Carlos and let him know you're here." She turned to me quick and I nodded. I shoved between one of her friends, and her, and walked fast to a huge crowd to disappear into.
After searching around the patio for a couple of minutes, I finally found James and Kendall. They were standing by themselves, James holding a beer, Kendall holding a water bottle. I rushed to them and breathed in hard walking right into Kendall putting my face in his chest. "You alright?"
"Sam's friends are awful." He laughed over me, and I pushed back looking up at his face. "When am I ever going to start listening to you?" He smirked looking over my head, pushing one hand in the back pocket of my shorts.
"What about?" I rolled my eyes turning to James who was watching girls, in short tight dresses, walk by.
"Everything? You said it would be better if we stayed in. Yet here we are." There was a kiss to my temple and James looked down at me. "I think once I see Carlos, maybe see Anna, we're going to leave. If that's alright?" James laughed loudly and nodded taking a swig of his beer. When he lowered it, he belched quietly and squinted the sun out of his eyes.
"Kendall already invited me over to get fucked up." I nodded turning in Kendall's arms and breathed in deep glancing around at all the pretty and popular people around me. I recognized a lot of these people. Because a lot of them went to the university with me. Some were in some of my classes from last year. And some were just faces I ran into every now and then on campus. But all of them were in the Greek system which meant they were all stuck up bitches.
"Guys!" I snapped my head to left and smiled instantly. Carlos was jogging over to us, in a pair of black slacks, and a white button up shirt, tucked in. The sleeves were rolled up, and the top three buttons were unbuttoned. "How do you guys like the house?" Carlos stopped in front of James and clapped his shoulder, as he looked right at me. "Damn dude, you just keep getting bigger every day, don't you?" He motioned down to my sculpted torso and I looked down blushing. "How you doing Kendall?"
"Good man. The house looks great." I turned and looked up to Kendall who was smiling at Carlos. Carlos cleared his throat and I turned to him, fake smiling again. "So where is that beautiful little girl of yours?" Carlos beamed. It looked like he was glowing. It made my heart happy.
"She's napping but should be awake in a little bit." Carlos turned to me and motioned to my Coke still unopened in my hand. "You get some food too?"
"Not yet. I…"
"Who are these guys Los?" We all glanced behind Carlos, and I tensed up seeing three huge dudes walking up to him, all holding a beer. They were all football players. Going into their senior year of college. But they also were in the Frat that Sam's sorority always partied with. I wouldn't doubt if these guys had girlfriends here. Probably the three that I learned to hate in short amount of time.
"Luke…these are my old friends I grew up with. James and Logan. And that is James's step-brother, Kendall." I could tell as these three guys glanced down at us, Kendall tensed up. I quickly wrapped one of my arms around his back and rubbed it, to make sure he stayed calm. "Guys…these are some friends of mine. They have been helping Sam and I out, quit a bit." I literally felt my heart snap out of my chest but forced another fake smile as Carlos looked at me. "They played ball with Matt last year, actually." I nodded looking to the three guys still behind Carlos, all looking down at us.
"I know who you are. I thought your name sounded familiar, but knowing you know Matt I know you were that freshman that got Professor Smith fired last year." I swallowed hard looking down fast and felt Kendall pull me in tighter into his side. "That guy was a sick fuck. Sorry it happened to you." I looked back up and nodded once looking at the tall blonde drink of water. "We just wanted to come over and make sure you were doing good. We didn't think this two looked like good news and got worried."
"I'm sorry…what?" James stepped forward quick, but Kendall reached out fast and put his arm up and stopped him fast.
"Damn dude…relax. Drink some more. Just take it easy." One of the other guys stepped forward and grinned big at James.
"You aren't the one who has a drinking problem, right?" For some reason hearing the guy say it, made me look to Carlos fast. He swallowed hard and shook his head turning to his friend.
"Why don't you guys go get some food, or something?" The guy laughed and looked down to me grabbing the back of Carlos's neck.
"Or is it you that can't drink alcohol anymore? Probably has something to do with that fag teacher raping you." Kendall pushed me back hard and stepped forward shoving the guy, just as hard. Everyone around us, started to yell and I saw James and Carlos get in between everyone, pushing Kendall back, as well as the other three.
"That's enough! Get the fuck out Justin!" The guy started to come forward again, but Carlos shoved Luke at him and yelled. "Get him out of here!" We had everyone at the party staring at us and it made me feel like I was on fire. I reached out fast and yanked Kendall back. When he got beside me, I turned and shoved at his chest, pushing him back to the high brown fence. He turned away from me, cracking his knuckles on his hands.
"Why do you think I can't defend myself?"
"I have every reason to believe you can Logan. I just don't want you to have too." I rolled my eyes hearing someone come up to us. Kendall turned around just as Carlos and James got in between us and Carlos gently set a hand on my arm.
"I'm so sorry Logan."
"What for Carlos?" Carlos dropped his hand from me and I shook my head walking right up to him. "The fact that you very easily replaced James and I with new friends? Or that you tell all of them my dirty little secrets?"
"I didn't tell him anything Logan." I laughed loudly making him look back up at me twisting his face to anger. "I don't know how he knew about any of that."
"You're a fucking liar." I sighed out loud feeling Kendall get beside me and looked to James. He quickly stepped forward and put a hand on Kendall's chest. "How else would those assholes have known any of that? It was either from you, or innocent little Sam." Carlos took a step forward, so I put a hand on his chest and got in front of Kendall.
"You don't want to be my friend anymore, that's fine. But tell me that instead of making me come to a party, clearly no one wants me to be at. I think I deserve at least that much."
"I love you like a brother Logan. You're my best friend." He reached up to grab my arms and sort of deflated. "I'm sorry if I've been distant. Between Anna and…"
"And moving, and planning your wedding, you couldn't seem to find any time for your brother." He lowered his hands from me again and I laughed, shrugging. "I get it Carlos. You have a great life and me and my stupid problems, or my issues would just ruin it." I felt Kendall grab my hand down at my side, but I pulled I tout of his grasp fast. "Well let me make this easier for you and instead of you having to say anything to me, I'll just leave, and not bother you again." I turned quick, and yanked out of his, and Kendall's grasps hard. I walked onto the patio and shoved through people, not caring that I was pissing them off. I was pissed off and I felt like I was in the right to be pissed. And because I knew where it was, and saw the bar after shoving past another person, I felt like it was a sign. I walked to it feeling like I was going to cry and quickly went behind the bar.
"Hey dude…you got to stay on that side." I ignored the guy as I reached for a brown bottle of whiskey and picked it up fast. "Dude!" I turned quick and walked away from him, as he tried to grab for me. I walked along the house, and turned, to walk down the length of the wall. I unscrewed the bottle and walked right up to the fence gate that went out to the front yard. I yanked the dead bolt to the side and shoved the door open hard. As I walked out, and raised the bottle to my lips, I hears several feet running up behind me. Just as the bottle touched my lips, and I closed my eyes, I heard a car door slam shut hard, followed by a loud, familiar, mean yell.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I lowered the bottle fast, not drinking a drop and opened my eyes, watching Matt walking up the grassy lawn holding a potted plant, and dark blue gift bag. I put the bottle down at my side, which got yanked from my hand hard as soon as it was down. I turned to see Kendall giving me a pissed off look. He reached down to my other hand and pulled the cap out of my hand. "Looks like the party is going great Kendall."
"I didn't give him the green light to take this Matt." Matt stopped right in front of me, giving Kendall a dirty look as he put the cap back on the bottle. "Carlos has been telling all his new frat buddies all of Logan's problems and they had a fight." Matt turned to me quick and I crossed my arms over my chest raising an eyebrow at him locking my jaw in place hard. "You have come way to far for this Logan." I refused to look at Kendall because I knew he was disappointed and I knew I would cry. I didn't want to cry.
"Especially over asshole frat dudes." I glanced over my shoulder quick, to James who was giving me a sad look, hands shoved down deep into his jean pockets. I turned back to the front and lowered my arms form my chest looking down at the ground below us. "Why don't we just go back to your apartment and hang out by ourselves?" I shook my head slowly and quickly walked between Kendall and Matt, going right for Kendall's mustang parked out on the street. "Logan…dude…" I grabbed the handle for the door and pulled, but it didn't budge. I let my shoulders droop and turned fast. I stared at Kendall who was now giving me a sad look. He didn't look mad at me anymore. Actually, he probably wasn't mad to begin with. My brain just told me that, so I could validate being mad at him.
"Why don't I go knock some sense into Carlos and get him out here to say sorry." I turned to Matt quick and shook my head.
"I don't need him to apologize. It's over and done with." Matt laughed shoving the plant and gift bag to James who gave him a dirty look.
"It clearly isn't, if you were going to drink that shit." Matt walked quickly up to the gate still open and I leaned against the car, huffing out.
"I'm going to go set this inside. Don't you dare leave without me." I shifted my eyes to James who turned quick and ran up to the front door. I watched him let himself in before I turned back to Kendall who was walking towards me slowly. When he got down to the sidewalk. He gently set the bottle of whiskey down by our feet and then set his hands on my arms. I looked up to his eyes and bit my bottom lip feeling my eyes starting to water.
"You are a lot stronger than that." I nodded quick as he leaned in and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry." I chuckled reaching out and tucked my pointer finger on each hand, into his pockets of his jeans.
"You didn't do anything Kendall."
"Exactly." I pushed back fast and frowned shaking my head. His hands slowly moved up my arms and stopped at my shoulders. "Did you take a sip?"
"No. Matt stopped me when he yelled." He smirked, but it fell fast. We both heard the front door open hard and as he turned to look, I got out from around him and parted my mouth open slowly. Matt was walking out of the house, a hand on the back of Carlos's neck, pushing him out of the house. I let Kendall go fast and walked towards them fast glaring at Matt. "Let him go. You're being ridiculous." Matt let Carlos go who quickly turned around and glared at him. Before any of us could say anything, the three friends of Carlos rushed out of the house and one of them, the only one who didn't talk came forward and shoved Matt hard. I stepped forward and got between the two knowing, no matter how big this guy was, he was no match for Matt. "We're leaving. Calm down."
"I don't' know who the fuck you think you are, but you better watch your fucking mouth." I rolled my eyes at the guy and turned quick, shoving at Matt.
"Logan damn near threw away 7 months of being sober because of you Jackass. The least you can do is say sorry." I continued to glare at Matt as I shoved at him, pushing him hard to Kendall who was walking to us.
"It's not Carlos's fault his pathetic fag friend can't hold his damn liquor." I grabbed around Matt's biceps hard as he started to walk back towards the group of guys and shoved him with all my might.
"Matt! Go to your car! Now!" I shoved into him again, this time getting help from Kendall. Kendall, being a lot stronger than me, turned Matt and pushed him to the street. I turned fast and gave a sad look to Carlos who was giving me an even more sad look back. "I don't know what I did to make you suddenly not want to be my friend, but I'm sorry." He opened his mouth and took a step forward, but one of the guys grabbed around his shoulder and held him back.
"Don't even say anything Los. He's not worth it. Just like his druggie boyfriend and steroid obsessed buddies aren't." I nodded keeping my eyes locked, just as James came walking out getting sort of in front of me.
"You're Justin, right?" I saw the guy nod glaring at James, who chuckled deeply. "I fucked your girlfriend." James turned quick, pulled me with him, and walked me to Kendall's open car door. He gently pushed me inside, to the back and got in fast, sitting up front with Kendall who was already behind the wheel. Before James shut the door, he grabbed the bottle of whiskey still on the sidewalk and waved big at the four guys on the lawn. "Have a dope night guy. I know I will!" He raised the whiskey and quickly slammed the door shut hard. I saw him flip all the guys off as Kendal revved his engine and pulled off the curb, screeching his tires. I looked back fast and felt my heart break seeing Carlos walk to the sidewalk looking at us, and then Matt speed off, away from him. Without him. Ending one of my best, and oldest friendships, I've ever had.
