Warnings: This part: Discussions/mentions of Rape fantasy/roleplay. All the parts (that I have planned out): Rape roleplay, breathplay, orgasm denial, forced orgasms, multiple orgasms, toys, bondage, painplay, humiliation, spanking, gangbang, spitroasting, dirty talk, and barebacking. I might add more as I write it.

A/N: Sorry, there's angst in this part, but there will be smut in the next, and lots of it! And I also promise the next parts will be longer.

Word Count: ~1,700

Blaine rolled over when he felt Kurt jolt away, slinging his arm across his husband's stomach as something to ground him from the nightmare he assumed he'd just woken up from. Then he felt Kurt's hard on against his arm and a sleepy smile tugged on his lips. Not a nightmare.

"Good dream?" Blaine asked, tickling his fingers across Kurt's stomach to grip his cock.

Kurt stilled underneath him, breath catching in his throat as Blaine teasingly stroked his dick. Kurt whined, an ashamed flush climbing up his neck and he turned his head away from Blaine's searching lips. He didn't know what to think of his dream, and the part of him that knew that it was wrong was slowly being drowned out by his arousal.

"Want to tell me about it?" Blaine whispered, mouthing at Kurt's neck, his hot breath sending chills down Kurt's spine.

Kurt shook his head, his mind warring with whether or not to push his husband away. It felt good, but it seemed so wrong letting him do that considering what had turned him on in the first place. But Blaine's grip was increasing and he was so close, almost there.

An image entered his mind, Blaine pinning him to the cold concrete ground and thrusting into him with no preparation as Kurt screamed in pain and begged for him to stop.

Kurt's eyes rolled back in his head and he came with a long drawn out moan. He lay there panting and shuddering through the aftershocks, Blaine still gently stroking him as he came down, when he realized what he'd just done. He'd pictured Blaine, his beautiful, loving husband raping him…

Kurt pulled away suddenly, eyes wide with horror. He'd done that, how could he have done that?

Blaine sat up slowly, his brow furrowed, "Baby?" he asked, "What's wrong?"

Kurt shook his head quickly, covering his mouth with his hand, "I-I have to shower," he whimpered, sliding off the bed and booking it to the bathroom. He pressed himself against the door, trying to comprehend what he'd just done, how he'd violated Blaine by thinking of him like that. He turned on the shower and sunk to the floor, hiding his face in his arms and sobbing quietly.

"I'm sorry about this morning," Kurt said, standing in the doorway to the kitchen, his arms wrapped around his stomach and staring at his shoes.

Blaine turned from where he was at the stove, making french toast and gave Kurt a soft smile. "It's okay," he said.

Kurt nodded stiffly and sat down at the table, shifting uncomfortably.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Blaine asked, sliding a plate across the table to him and sitting down.

Kurt's bottom lip quivered. He couldn't tell Blaine he thought of him like that. He'd be horrified, disgusted, he'd think Kurt was freak. He shook his head, pouring some syrup on his toast and cutting it with his fork. He only pushed it around his plate, though, his appetite gone.

"I'm here," Blaine told him, reaching across the table to grab his hand but Kurt recoiled from the contact. Blaine frowned, swallowing hard, "If-if you need to talk. I'm here, okay?"

Kurt nodded and went back to pushing his food around his plate.

The dreams didn't stop. In fact, they started happening every night. A group of men would grab him and force him down on his knees for them to fuck and use and humiliate, and every morning he would wake up achingly hard, humping the air or the bed or, god, even humping Blaine. And Blaine always seemed eager to help him with his little problem but Kurt pushed him off, rushing to the bathroom for an ice cold shower.

Their sex life disappeared, Kurt was unwilling to even masturbate for fear those thoughts he kept having about his husband forcing himself on him would be the thing to make him come. It wasn't as bad if he didn't get off on the image, right?

But this turned him into a sexually frustrated mess and apparently it was affecting Blaine too. They were fighting more than they ever had before and they almost always turned into screaming matches. They were over dumb things, too. Like, the air conditioner was on too high, or Blaine was encroaching on his side of the bed, when they'd never even had designated sides or boundaries to begin with. They were both cuddle whores, but now it seemed if Blaine even touched Kurt he would flinch away and it would cause a fight.

"Can you please just tell me what I did?" Blaine shouted during a fight over him not using a coaster for his soda. "Can you explain why you won't even let me touch you?" his voice cracked and Kurt's anger dissipated.

"No, Blaine," he said quietly, "you… you didn't do anything." He sunk back down onto the couch, looking up at his husband with wide eyes, "I swear, it's-it's not you."

"Really?" Blaine scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest, "Because it sure seems like I did something wrong."

"I… it's all me. You've done nothing wrong, I promise."

Blaine looked away, bottom lip quivering, tears filling his eyes, "Is there someone else?" he asked brokenly, "Is-is that why you won't let me touch you? Because you're sleeping with someone else?"

Kurt's heart shattered, "There's no one else, Blaine, I swear. Why would you think that?"

Blaine shrugged, sniffling, "I did it… maybe it's your turn."

"Baby," Kurt breathed, "you know I don't hold that over you. I forgave you years ago."

"Then what's going on, Kurt?" he bit his lip, "What's wrong? I need you to talk to me about these things, we can't fix it if you won't trust me."

Kurt looked down at his hands wringing them in his lap. He had to tell him. If he didn't it would keep tearing him apart. At least if he explained there would be a possibility of Blaine staying with him. "I-I've been having dreams," he muttered.

Blaine's brow furrowed, "I've noticed, but they don't seem like bad dreams."

Kurt shrugged, "I'm-I'm not exactly sure what to think of them. They're—can you sit down?" his eyes flicked up Blaine for a second. His husband nodded and sat down next to him, reaching over to pull his hands into his lap, stopping his from picking at his cuticles.

"Can-can you hold me?" Kurt asked, "I-I don't want to see your face until I'm done."

Blaine nodded again, resituating himself on the couch so Kurt could rest between his legs before pulling him flush with is chest.

"In-in the dream, there's always a group of guys. I don't-I've never known them, but I've never actually been able to see their faces before. They're just kind of… blank slates which makes it almost worse because then I can fill them in with people I know.

"The-the men, they grab me and they-they force me to have sex with them," Blaine's arms tightened around him. "In the dream I'm scared, but at the same time… I'm aroused and I li-like how rough they are. And then when I wake up, I'm so hard and close to coming, and the fear is gone, so it makes it hard to remind myself that it's wrong.

"That in an of itself is bad, but then… I st-started imagining my friends doing that to me. Elliot, Sebastian, Sam, Puck…"

"Have you ever pictured me?" Blaine asked quietly and Kurt couldn't discern from his voice what he was feeling.

Kurt nodded weakly, a few tears slipping down his face, "And it's not just when I sleep. I'll start imagining it during the day too and-and you're always involved," he choked on a sob, "I'm s-sorry," he whispered, "Iknow you would-would never do that to me… but I just can't seem to st-stop it."

They're both silent for a minute, and Kurt knew he should turn around so he could just get seeing Blaine's disgusted face out of the way but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Finally, Blaine spoke.

"Do you want your dreams to come true, Kurt?"

Kurt's jaw fell slack, his eyes widening, he twisted around in Blaine arms to see if he was teasing him, but he just looked genuinely curious and he couldn't see any disgust there.

"Are-are you asking me if I want to be raped?" He asked, horrified.

"No…?" Blaine said, biting his lip, "Not actually raped, but more of a… roleplay?" he questioned, trying to gauge his reaction.

Kurt's brow furrowed, "Are you serious?"

Blaine smiled, "If it's something you'd be interested in trying then I'd be all for it."

"I… I don't… Blaine!" he surged forward grabbing his husband's face roughly and kissing him. "I was so scared," he whispered against his lips, "I thought for sure you'd be disgusted with me… I-I thought I was violating you by picturing you doing that to me."

Blaine shook his head, "Actually… it sounds kind of hot to me," he wiggled his eyebrows, "just as long as we have a safeword so I know you're always comfortable with it, even if you're acting like you're not."

"Safeword, definitely," Kurt agreed turning so he was fully facing Blaine without his back being twisted in an uncomfortable position.

"And we need to make a list of kinks, other than the actual 'rape' that you would be fine with. And… other people?" he questioned.

"Only if you're okay with that," Kurt said quickly, "it can just be us if you want."

Blaine contemplated for a minute, "Is it bad for me to want to watch you get fucked by someone else?"

Kurt smiled, leaning down to kiss him again, "Not at all."

After a few hours laying out ground rules with definite no's and definite yes's and a few maybe's Kurt and Blaine curled up together in bed. Kurt snuggled into his husband's side, feeling more relaxed that he had in almost a month.

"I love you," he whispered.

Blaine smiled, kissing the top of his hair, "I love you too."