Disclaimer: I do not own KH, FF, TWEWY, etc. I also don't own the OCs made by the fans.
You know what I own.
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I apologize if this episode isn't making you die of laughter, I'm a little rusty… ^.^U
Also, for some dumb reason, it didn't show the website… . CURSE YOU, !
Here it is:
Www
.
500awesomeness
.
Yolasite
.
Com
Without the "enter"s, of course.
If THIS doesn't show up (again…) then PM me a request for the website link and I'll PM it back. :D
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Joe: We're back with the first really real episode of…
Everyone: 5:00 AWESOMENESS!
Axel: And after my recent mauling, I'm not too happy to be back. I'd rather be back in the castle that never was on my 3DS…
Joe: Shaddup, ya weenie! We're gonna have fun today!
Axel: And by "we", you mean "you."
Joe: Exactly!
xxxxXxxxx
Joe: Alright, now, there's one thing I didn't mention in the starter episode. On this show, we have guest stars! If you're a new reader that totally ignored my warning signs and you're risking your mind, you just found that out! If you're a returning reader, chances are, I'm ticking you off by going over all these reminders and you're shaking the computer screen screaming, "GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!"
Kexlaey: So, without further ado, we'd like to welcome our very first guest star…..
*lights flash off*
Announcer guy: THE GENIE! OF THE LAMP!
*smoke machines spit blue smoke everywhere*
*spotlight flashes on*
*fireworks blow everywhere*
Joe: NO! THOSE ASHES ARE GONNA GET IN MY ITALIAN CARPETING!
*neon signs flash everywhere*
Genie: HEEEEEEY! I'm finally here!
Joe: *sobbing* My… *sniff* My… Carpet… My beautiful carpet… Ruined… *sniff*
Genie: So, what am I here for again?
Kexlaey: You're here to read the dares, dipthong.
Genie: Oh! Right! Sorry, I'm a little confused…
Kexlaey: Just read the cards, dude.
Genie: Okay! Our very first reviewer for season two is… SATHEROTH335!
FX man: *about to light fireworks*
Joe: NO! WAIT!
*fireworks go off*
*ashes fall to the carpet*
Joe: Not again… *whimpers*
Satheroth335: Xemnas: i herby dub thee sir mansex!
Sir Mansex: What? *brain spark* OH NO. NOT AGA-
Satheroth: NEXT DARE!
Satheroth335: Xigbat: How come you sound like a surfing pirate?
Xigbar (wait, why's he wearing a fedora and trench coat?): You wanna know why I sound like a surfing pirate?
Everyone: *nods*
Xigbat: It was a dark and stormy night… Well, actually, it was a cloudy afternoon… Anyways, I was at the beach with a few friends… And Jennifer Aniston… Just surfing along on my surfboard like any other highschool kid… When all of a sudden, a shark came along and bit my arm off. My friend-
Kexlaey: Is he telling that Soul Surfer story?
Xigbar: And then I ripped the arm off my Barbie doll and-
Joe: XIGBAR! You've failed to complete the dare! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! *evil grin*
Xigbar: Then my dad put this handle on my surfboard and-
Joe: AVA! AXAV! Take Xigbar to… (dramatic pause) THE ROOM! (dramatic music and lightning)
Xigbar: And that's how I won the surfing contest! Hey, where we going?
Ava: You'll see soon enough… *opens door*
Random audience guy: *runs out of the room totally pale* HELP MEEEEEE! AAAAAAAAAUGH! MOMMYYYYYY! *jumps out window*
Joe: Oh, yeah… Forgot about him…
Xemsha: Joe? What exactly did you put in there?
Joe: Oh, nothing too much…
Axav and Ava: *tosses Xigbar into THE ROOM*
Xigbar: What the-?
*large growl comes from behind Xigbar*
Xigbar: -Crap. *turns around* HOLY SHI-
*door slams shut*
Genie: *gulp* What kind of show IS THIS?
Joe: An awesome one. NOW READ THE DARES OR SUFFER!
Genie: AGH! Alright! Geez!
Satheroth335: Xalden: you sure your names not Bob marly? Cause its that for chapter 2 and 3!
Bob Marly: (sarcastic) oh HAHAHA. Haven't heard THAT one before. HOW ORIGINA- *potato hits Xaldin* OW! WHAT THE FRUITCAKE?
Griffin (holding a potato launcher): *laughs* HAHAHAHA! It works!
Satheroth335: Vexen: creepy old perv! Go throw yourself into a volcano with no way to save yourself
Vexen: Creepy? OLD? PERV? None of that is true!
Roxas: well, you are pretty old…
Vexen: QUIET, YOU! UNLESS YOU WANNA BECOME MY NEXT EXPERIMENT…
Xion: Creepy!
Vexen: BUT-
Axel: THAT'S JUST WHAT A PERV WOULD SAY!
Vexen: I hate you all…
Ihateyouall: Yes?
Vexen: ACTUALLY, THANKS FOR THE VOLCANO DARE! I THINK I'M GONNA GO DO IT NOW!
Axel: *giggles* Dude that sounded so wrong… You PERV.
Vexen: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! *runs out the door*
Joe: CAMERA CREW! FOLLOW HIM!
At the volcano…
Vexen: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD! *tips over into volcano and burns in lava* AAAAAAAAAAAAGH! THE PAIN! THE PAAAAAAAIN!
Everyone: Eeesh, that's gotta hurt…
Vexen (offscreen): *eyeballs explode* AAAAAAAUGH! MY EYEBALLS!
Everyone: OOOOOOOH! That's gotta hurt!
Robot Giraffe: *takes kids out of room* Kids, you shouldn't be watching this…
Vexen: *sinks into lava* AAAAAAAAGH!
Axel: *eating popcorn*
Roxas: Axel, how can you WATCH this?
Xion: This is repulsive!
Axel: I burnt him to death before, so I'm quite used to it…
Joe, Satinvix, Xemsha, Emjax, and all the other OCs that think this stuff is comedy: *sitting next to Axel, also eating popcorn* HAHAHAHA! Look at him scream!
Emjax: *crying from laughing so hard* I-I'm gonna die! XDDD
Arilla: SORA! THIS IS TOO SCARY! *glomps Sora with an, "I'm not really scared, but, hey what the crap?" look*
Vexen: *goes under*
Everyone:
All the people who were laughing: Awww, it's over already?
Demyx: *hiding under couch* For the love of all that is holy…
xxxxXxxxx
Satheroth335: Lexaeus: can you/will you lift the studio?
Lexaeus: *walks outside*
Everyone: …
*Building shakes*
Everyone: ! *heads to the window*
Lexaeus: *holds the building up with one finger*
Everyone:
Lexaeus: Hey, a penny. *tosses studio into the air, grabs penny, and catches studio*
Everyone: O_OU
Lexaeus: *sets building down*
Scoobycool 9: remind me to never get Lexaeus mad…
Lexaeus: *comes back into the room*
Everyone: *takes one step away from Lexaeus*
Satheroth335: Zexion: You're safe, my sexy Zexy! Ever read the highschool of the dead?
Zexion: Highschool of the Dead? O.O I HAVEN'T READ THAT! *runs away to the library Kexlaey mentioned earlier*
Fangirls: HOW DARE YOU CALL ZEXION SEXY ZEXY! ONLY WE CAN DO THAT! *climbs onto stage*
Joe: *hits button*
*Giant fly swatter swats the fangirls off the stage*
Joe: Hmm. Maybe the giant fly swatter WAS a good idea, after all…
Xams: I TOLD YOU IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA!
Joe: *hits button*
*fly swatter swats Xams*
Joe: Yep. Definitely a good idea…
xxxxXxxxx
Satheroth335: Saix: You will be turned into a puppy, if its okay with the rules. If not, you get to go into THE ROOM!
Saix: *gulp*
Joe: *reading through rulebook* Well, as long as it isn't perma- OH WHO GIVES A FRUITCAKE ABOUT RULES? I LOVE PUPPIES! *snaps fingers*
POOF!
Saix (now a puppy): *facepaws* Grrrrrr… Bark bark (not again!)
Satheroth335: Axel, show us your keyblade (kh3d)
Joe, Sam, Xams, and Kexlaey: WHAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA A A AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAT?
Joe: WHAT THE FRUITCAKE!
Sam: AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD, THOUGH?
Kexlaey: WHY DO YOU HAVE A FREAKING KEYBLADE?
Xams: WE SAW YOU DIE! WE SAW YOU ALL DIE! YOU WERE DEAD! D. E. D! DEAD! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET BACK INTO THE GAME AND GET A FRIGGING KEYBLADE!
Axel: What, you didn't know? *summons uber cool keyblade*
Everyone: OOOOOOH! *o*
Joe: HOLY $#^&! HOLY $#^&!
Kexlaey: OH. MY.
Sam: What the-?
Xams: WHOA…
Everyone else who had no idea Axel had that: How did he-? When did he-? Who did he-? Why is he-?
Several hours later…
Joe: *sitting at laptop* Why… *sniff* Why are there no English cut scenes on YouTube?
Emjax: It's okay, Joe… I'm here for ya.
Joe: *sniff* Emjax?
Emjax: Yeah?
Joe: Go… *sniff* Go eat a brick…
Axel: Okay! Can we get on with the show, now? I'm tired of Sora and Riku clinging to my keyblade, now…
Sora and Riku: *clings to axel's Keyblade*
Sora: RIKU! LOOK! He uses the same cherry-scented Keyblade polish we do!
Riku: NO WAY! Look at the keychain on it! It's a mini Chakram!
Sora and Riku: *huggles Keyblade* Suuuuuu shinyyyyy…
Axel: Get off! *tries to pry Sora and Riku away*
Genie: I agree with red hedgehog, over there! We really should be getting on with the show! So I can get the heck outta here…
Joe: Alright… *sniff* Read the next dare…
Satheroth335: Demyx: Now that it's summer, you wanna go swimming, huh?
Demyx: Wait a minute… ITS SUMMER HERE?
Everyone: *nods*
Demyx: HOLY FUDGE MONKEYS! I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS SUMMER! WE DON'T HAVE SEASONS BACK IN THE WORLD THAT NEVER WAS! CAN WE GO SWIMMING? CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE?
Joe: Hmmmm… *IDEA!* OH! I KNOW!
Everyone: Hmmmmmmm?
Joe: For the next episode, we should go to Cabacana, my huge vacation resort!
(Side note for all new readers: The show isn't filmed on Earth, it's filmed on the planet Aleatoire, on which Joe is the Supreme Overlord of Everything, and Aleatoire's most wanted criminal… It's a long story…)
Demyx: REALLY?
Luxord: That actually sounds pretty exciting!
Xion: YES! I get to see Luckycool9 shirtless!
All the little kids: *jumps up and down* SWIMMING! SWIMMING!
Xigbat: Sweet! I get to catch some waves!
Larxene: And I get to zap the $#^& outta Sir Mansex over there!
Sir Mansex: HEY!
Joe: Then it's settled! Next episode, we'll all be heading down to Cabacana!
xxxxXxxxx
Sathroth335: Luxord: you must be good at Yu-Gi-Oh if your weapon is cards!
Luxord: I am. *holds up a Yu-Gi-Oh card*
Sathroth335:
Larxene: im gona chop off your antenna things in your hair
Larxene: You'd do that for me? OH THANK YOU!
Everyone: ?
Larxene: These stupid things won't stay down! And they won't cut off, either! They're too hard! They broke 5 PAIRS OF SCISSORS already! 5!
Everyone: Holy enchilada…
Sathroth: *takes out chainsaw*
Xion: HEY! THAT'S MY CHAINSAW!
Sathroth: *slices off antennae*
Larxene: HUZZAH!
Everyone: HUZZAH! THE BUG LADY IS GONE!
Sathroth335: Marluxia: (burns his flower garden down)
Marluxia: *sniff* Hey, do you guys smell… *sniff sniff* flowers? *sniff sniff sniff* BURNING? *spins around* HOLY $#^&! MY FLOWERS! NOOOOOOO! DEMYX! DO SOMETHING!
Demyx: RIGHT! *runs into brick wall* X_X
Marluxia: VEXEN?
Vexen: *still dead*
Marluxia: THE WATER GUY?
The water guy: *being mauled by Larxene*
Larxene: I WANT MY MONEY BACK! I HATE THAT CHEAP TAP WATER, YOU KNOW THAT! I WANT THE WATER FROM MOUNT RYUK! ( Anyone know who Ryuk is? Hm? Do ya? DO YA? Ah, nevermind…)
Marluxia: *collapses to the floor* Whyyyyyyy… Why my precious flowers… *sniff* WHYYYYYYYYY?
Axel: *walks by, drinking a glass of water*
Marluxia: YOU! YOU LITTLE-
Axel: Huh?
Marluxia: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU BURNT DOWN MY MOST PRECIOUS TREASURE THAT EXISTS IN MY NON-EXISTENT LIFE! AND LOOK AT THAT! TO TAUNT ME, YOU'RE DRINKING A GLASS OF WATER RIGHT IN MY FACE! AFTER IT'S TOO LATE!
Axel: Look, dude, I'm sorry about your most "precious treasure" and all, but I have no idea what you're talking abou-
Marluxia: *pulls out a gun*
Axel: Uhhh… Mar?
Marluxia: *clicks off the safety thing*
Axel: Mar? Y-you wanna talk about this?
Marluxia: Say goodbye, Axel. *puts finger on trigger*
Axel: NO WAI-
We'll be back after the commercial break!
*Joe comes on screen*
Joe: Hello, I'm Joe Bagel, your dictator. Every five seconds, a water guy is mauled by Larxene. Help end the mauling by sending 100 Jem to one eight hundred this number is fake. I'm Joe Bagel and I approve this message.
CoMmErCiAl SwItCh!
Announcer: Do you have money? Do you have no idea how to spend it? Would you rather blow it all on cheap products than buy food for your family? Of course you would! So why don't you at…
Jingle singers: Ansem's super cheap shack! YEAH! *jazz hands*
Announcer: Ansem's super cheap shack yeah! The place to spend all your money! Because seriously, who needs food when you have cheap plastic items?
NOW, back to the show!
Kexlaey: Joe, why is Marluxia goin' all bad $$?
Joe: I thought it would be dramatic.
Xylter: It's more cheesy than it is dramatic…
Daxam: Agreed…
Marluxia: Say goodbye, Axel. *pulls trigger*
Axel: NO!
SPLURT!
Xion: *collapses to the floor*
Everyone: GASP!
Luckycool9: XION! NO!
Xion: I'm… Sorry…
Luckycool9: (dramatically) Why? WHY DID YOU DO IT?
Xion: Because… *cough cough cough cough… COUGH COUGH cough cough cough cough… cough.* I… I… I owed him…
Luckycool9: Owed him what? WHAT did you owe him?
Xion: A… A quarter…
Luckycool9: *throws Xion to the ground* So you risked your life for Axel, got shot, and you're dying on the floor all because you owed him a quarter? *picks Xion up again* That's… That's so… That's so epic…
Xion: Yeah… *cough cough* I know… *closes eyes dramatically*
Luckycool9: NO! XION! WHO… WHO WILL I HAVE ICECREAM WITH?
Xion: Luckycool9?
Luckycool9: What?
Xion: A… A…
Luckycool9: What?
Xion: APRIL FOOLS! HAHAHA!
Marluxia and Xion: *high fives*
Marluxia: That was so awesome!
Xion: The look on their faces!
Marluxia: And the peanut shooter!
Xion: And the fake blood!
Marluxia and Xion: *crack up*
Axel: WHAT THE #&$ , MAN! YOU ALMOST MADE ME DIE OF FEAR!
All the Xion haters: Awww… Party's over, guys. *takes off party hats* She's alive…
Luckycool9: T_T
Marluxia and Xion: *laughs* HAhahahaha!
Luckycool9: T-T I'm going to the nacho bar…
Genie: I am not even going to comment on how sick you people are!
Marluxia: Haha! Yeah, we are pretty awesome!
Genie: *grumbles* I didn't mean it like that…
xxxxXxxxx
Sathroth335: Roxas: you went through resident evil in season one...now its time to go through the METAL GEAR SOLID seris (evil smile)
Roxas: *whimpers* Oh no…
POOF!
Daxam: Are you TRYING to torture the fudge outta him?
Sathroth: Yes. Yes I am.
Daxam: You should win an award or something, dude!
Sathroth335: Xion: whats it like being a mary sue?
Xion: well, it's pretty interesting, and- HEY! I AM NOT A-
Joe: And that concludes the dares from Sathroth! Can I hear a woot woot?
Everyone: Woot woot!
Xion: You son of a-
Genie: Our next reviewer is... Scoobycool9!
Scoobycool9: WOO!
Scoobycool9: Me: What the site soemthing. com?
CHase Hunter: Ermm the dares...
Me: Okay Dad...
Joe: Nu, nu. It's fine. If it doesn't show up at the top of this episode, PM me requesting it and I'll PM it back…
Zexion: So that's your dad?
Scoobycool9: Yep!
Demyx: *sniff* I don't have a dad… *sniff sniff*
Joe: Demyx, Go get your Sitar!
Demyx: OKIE DOKIE!
Genie of the lamp: *mouths the words "help me" to Chase Hunter*
Scoobycool9: Sam: Burn the entire twilight series and watch it burn selowly
Sam: My… Twilight?
Everyone: YES! YOUR TWILIGHT!
Sam: All of it?
Everyone: YES!
Sam: *pulls books out of pocket*… Well… This is goodbye! *pets book cover, then sets on the floor*
Joe: *slows time down for added slow mo torture ;D* Axav, will you do the honors?
Axav: of course, mah good man!
Joe: I'm a girl.
Axav: Whatever. *lights match*
*match sloooowly lights*
Axav: threeeee… … … twwwooooo…. … oone… … … *drops match*
(dramatic opera music plays in the background)
Sam: Noo o ooo oo o!
*books burst into flames*
Sam: _, No… Nooohohohooooo! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO OOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO O O OOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO! *drops to knees* PORQUOI?
Scoobycool 9 and Luckycool9: *eats popcorn*
Luckycool9: Dude, pass it!
Scoobycool9: What, the popcorn?
Luckycool9: NO, THE CHAIR. YES, the popcorn!
Scoobycool9: Okay, okay… Sheesh… Here's your stinkin' popcorn.
Sam: *writhing in agony on the floor* My… Twilight… Gone… just… just like that…
Scoobycool9: Demyx: Here's a new guitar!
Demyx: YAY! *puts in giant show room of instruments received from fans* I like this one…
Scoobycool9: Roxas: Here some candy...eat till you are stuffed.
Emjax: I told you we were missing someone, Joe!
Joe: Yeah, yeah, okay mom… *snaps fingers*
POOF!
Roxas: mommy…
Demyx: Stop that already! WE'RE ORPHANS, YOU MORON! *sniffles* Orphans! THIS IS HARASSMENT! HOW DARE YOU REMIND ME OF MY MOTHER THAT NEVER EXISTED! *goes into the Zexion corner sobbing*
Axel: Roxas!
Roxas: w-what?
Axel: *points to candy*
Roxas: OOH! CANDAY! *dives into pile o' candy*
One giant pile of candy later…
Roxas (guzzling down candy… With a funnel… o.o)
Everyone: o.o
Namine: o.o
Xion: o.o
Demyx: *sobs* o.o *sobs* o.o *continues sobbing*
Zexion: T-T
Bob Marly: How ya feelin' there, Roxas?
Roxas (now with a bigger funnel): *thumbs up*
Sir Mansex: Roxas, you're going to explode if you consume anymore of that sugar… That, or you'll be having a sugar rush for the next three weeks and we'll have to deal with it…
Roxas: Mrrph… Yrrf grgle lrrf frf thrrf wrrgrf! Gnry frf trf erfifurfs! (No, dares can't last for three weeks! Only for three episodes!)
Sir Mansex: Fine. Ignore my words of wisdom. IGNORE THEM.
Everyone: Okay!
Sir Mansex: I hope you all get hit by a bus.
Genie: What a positive thinker you are…
Sir Mansex: Positivity is futile. Existence is miserable and pointless… *heads off to join Demyx and Zexion in the Zexion corner*
Cheesy announcer man: And so, only ten organization members remain outside the Zexion corner… Who will be the last one to remain happy? Find out soon on-
Joe: Uhm, who are you?
Cheesy announcer man: I'm here for the Survivor host audition.
Joe: Crap! We didn't put that in the disclaimer! We DON'T OWN SURVIVOR! Well, this isn't Survivor auditions. This is 5:00 awesomeness.
Cheesy announcer man: O RLY? I love this show! You know my family and I-
Joe: Sorry, love to chat, but you're annoying! ROBO GIRAFFE BUTLER!
R.G.B: YES, MY LORD! *donkey-kicks cheesy announcer man out the 2,424th story window*
Joe: Thanks…
xxxxXxxxx
Scoobycool9: Xion: Remember the marriage proposal from last story my bro submitted? Yeah, you never answered him…
Xion: I didn't?
Everyone: *on the edge of their seats*
Xion fangirls: Say yes! SAY YES!
Xion x Roxas fangirls: Say no! SAY NO!
Xion fanboys: XION! *sobs* WE LOVE YOU! *sobs* PLEASE SAY NO!
Xion haters: SAY YES! THAT WAY SHE'S OUTTA OUR HAIR!
Mansex: XION! DON'T YOU DARE!
…
Xion: Well…
…
…
(dramatic pause)
DUN
DUN
DUN DUN!
…
…
…
...
…
…
Luxord: ENOUGH WITH THE DOTS! JUST GIVE US AN ANSWER ALREADY!
…
…
…
Luxord: No one listens to me anymore… *heads off to the Zexion corner*
Cheesy announcer man: During the wait for Xion's answer to the proposal, yet another Organization member heads to the Zexion corner.
R.G.B.: I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU!
Joe: R.G.B… Terminator mode.
R.G.B.: YES! MY LORD! *beeps* TERMINATE… TARGET AQUIRED!
Xion: Well, I guess my answer is…
(R.G.B. Mauls Cheesy announcer man in the background)
Xion: YES!
*Fireworks go off*
Joe: YES! XION SAID- wait a minute… MY CARPET! NOOOOOOO!
All the yay's: WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO! YEAH!
All the nay's: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Steve the rock: …
Steve the cricket: *eats a sammich*
Steve the highly explosive chandelier: *firework comes towards*
BOOM!
*mushroom cloud*
Joe: *digs out of the rubble* MY. CARPET. IS. RUINED!
Kexlaey: not all of it, though! There's still the Zexion corner (that miraculously survived the explosion)!
Joe: Yeah… The… Zexion corner… *sulks off and sits in the Zexion corner*
Sam: *pops outta the rubble* HAVE NO FEAR! I CAN FIX THIS!
Kexlaey: Just HOW can you fix a 234,743,631,535,773,114,335,633,321,234,123,456,789 Jem building?
(side note: Jem is the currency of Aleatoire)
Sam: With… THIS! *holds up a tube of super glue*
Kexlaey: *facepalms* Sam, you idiot…
Sam: Lets see… This piece goes here… Glue this to that, and-
xxxxXxxxx
HEY HEY HEY! Hope you guys like the new episode!
I got a little lazy, so I decided to just blow up the building and finish those other reviews later.
They seem like they'd be okay to do in a resort setting… ^_^
Anywhoodle, please review, comment, favorite, subscribe… All that funky junk!
And be sure to tell your friends! Just make sure you don't tell any trolls, because that's what caused the downfall of season 1 in the first place.
JUST MAKE SURE that when you submit a dare for the next episode, it can be done in a resort setting! So, the dare can be in the hotel, on the beach, in the air… whatever! :D
ADIOS!
