Chapter 2: The Intent to Kill.


It must have been disappointing for Touya Meijin as it had been for Hikaru.

Hikaru knew that it was foolish to approach Touya Meijin and challenged him to a game given the giant gap of ability between them, but he had made a promise to Sai that, should he decide not to attempt the path of a Go professional, he would play at least one game against Touya Akira.

If Sai wanted Hikaru to see the vast difference between a pro and an amateur, then nothing demonstrated this better than a thorough beating from Touya Akira.

Even worse was the fact that Hikaru now understood how out of league he was with the young Meijin; even if he became a pro, there was no way he could catch up to a man of that level. If Hikaru moved forward, Touya would move even further ahead. Hikaru could feel the giant barrier between them with every move on the goban. He shivered as he recalled the intensity of the game, the way Touya Meijin's Go dominated the board from the get go and continued to slaughter Hikaru's mercilessly, cutting off every attack with a grace that would rival Sai in precision and beauty.

Worst of all, Hikaru had hoped that, in playing his own Go against someone besides Sai that….

Well, it didn't matter anymore because he didn't win. There was nothing left in Go for Hikaru, not skills, not victories, not…

Not Sai.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't win for Sai. There was no point in playing if he couldn't even win.

"Hikaru," Akari walked up to him after class, and Hikaru didn't even have the strength to talk to her right now. He knew what she was going to say. "Let's go! I don't want to be late for practice."

"No," Hikaru said, pretending that all of his attention was in putting his books back into his bag. He couldn't meet her eyes. "I'm not going."

"What? Hikaru!" Akari crossed her arms. "We're not going to win the first round if our first board is slacking off again." Akari knew that was a complete lie because Hikaru was a genius when it came to Go. There was a frightening strength about him, a power that felt dangerous and old, even older than Grandfather.

"I never slack off in Go," Hikaru protested.

"You didn't come to practice yesterday," Akari pointed out. Come to think of it, Hikaru didn't look well. "Are you alright?" She asked softly. He didn't seem fine yesterday either, but he had left so fast after class, saying that he had something important to do, that she didn't have the chance to ask him what was wrong. "Did…did you manage to do what you wanted to do yesterday?"

Hikaru turned sharply away from her, and Akari flinched at his sudden movement.

"No," Hikaru had his back to her. "I failed."

"Oh Hikaru," Akari said. She wanted to ask what he was trying to do yesterday, why he skipped Go club meeting yesterday afternoon, but she was afraid of upsetting him. "It'll be—"

"I'm going home," Hikaru said, not wanting to hear Akari's pity.

"But what about Go club?" Akari asked frantically. This was wrong. Go always made Hikaru feel better. For Hikaru to not want to play Go—

"I can't play anymore," Hikaru walked to the classroom door, paying no heed to Akari's sharp intake of breath.

"What do you mean you can't play anymore?" Akari raised her voice, panic and worry clenching her heart. Hikaru always wanted to play Go. Whenever he was upset, she would ask him for a game; even though she knew that she'll never win, his smile and his gloating were worth it. It was the one of the only ways she knew to be a good friend.

"I just can't, okay?"

"Hikaru!"

"I can't play Go anymore!" Hikaru shouted, and Akari froze in shock. "I just—I can't." His voice grew weaker, and Akari could hear a sharp melancholy that hung on his words and draped over his back.

"Hikaru," Akari approached him slowly, placing a hand at his shoulder. She didn't know what to do. Even though they were childhood friends, Akari felt as if she understood as much about Hikaru as she did when she first met him. "What happened yesterday?" She whispered gently, giving his shoulder a soft squeeze.

Akari could feel Hikaru's shoulder tensing under her palm.

"I had to play a game against someone," Hikaru said so softly that Akari almost didn't hear him. "I lost."

Akari could tell that it wasn't the whole story. Even though she couldn't read Hikaru as well as she would like to, she knew that the loss was more than just one loss. "There…there were more at stake than just a victory, weren't there?"

At her words, Hikaru jerked from her touch, as if Akari had just slapped him.

"Hikaru!" Akari called out as he bristly walked away from her. She jogged to catch up to him, but he flinched away from her, breaking into a run.

"Hikaru!"

Akari tried to catch up to him again, but all she could see was the image of his disappearing back, an apparition growing fainter and fainter among the crowd of students, going further and further into a place that she couldn't possibly reach.


The first thing Ogata said when he sat next to Akira was: "You seem unusually cheerful today."

"Do I?" Akira said, tearing his eyes from his father's game against Kurata 7-dan to look at Ogata. It was ending anyway. "I don't feel any different."

Even though Akira was no longer a part of his father's study group, he still enjoyed the weekly game discussion at his parents'. Different Go professionals came every week, itching to play against his father now that he was retired and had more time for casual games. Ogata Ouza came weekly as well, and Akira took this opportunity to study Ogata's techniques up close, for Akira planned to challenge him for his title the following year.

"Did something good happen?" Ogata asked, and Akira immediately thought of Shindou.

Ogata pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, light glinting on one of the lenses, and Akira's own face stared back at him in the other. Not that it would have made a difference if Akira could see Ogata's eyes or not; Ogata was an extremely difficult person to read on and off the goban. Akira felt younger than his years being scrutinized by Ogata, but as he was no longer a child, and as he grew used to the calculating eyes of opponents twice his age, Ogata's piercing intimidation was nothing on him.

(Akira also added in his mind that Kuwabara Honinbou was far superior to Ogata when it came to mind games, but decided not to. Best to leave the mind games to its players. He wasn't interested.)

Akira contemplated telling Ogata about Shindou, but reservations held him back. Ogata grew less of a mentor to Akira and more into a sly opponent, an incarnation of Kuwabara Honinbou, but without the sharp edge that came from experience and intuition. Akira wasn't a person who cared for mind games, and he sure wasn't going to get into one.

"I've played a good game last week," Akira said, and decided to leave it at that.

"Oh?" Ogata raised his eyebrows. "Someone's skill caught the attention of Touya Meijin?"

"I keep a cautious eye on all current and rising Go players, Ogata-san," Akira replied, tastefully dodging Ogata's question and taking note to be courteous at the presence of other professionals in the room.

Ogata's eyebrows, if possible, rose higher. "Rising Go players? Interesting. I remember you telling me once that you're only looking up because there is nothing behind worth paying attention to."

"Ah," Akira said, feeling slightly embarrassed and at a loss of what to say because he didn't know how to justify something that he had said when he was a teenager, but thankfully, his father spoke. "Akira was a green player then. Years of experience had taught him a lot, Ogata-san."

Ogata usually backed off immediately when his father was involved, a sense of respect preventing Ogata from pushing beyond his boundaries. However, over the years, Akira was not the only one who grew out of his younger self. "Of course, he earned four titles despite being so young, after all," Ogata said. "To keep those titles is another matter."

If there was a gibe about Akira's age, then Akira pretended not to hear it. He smiled politely and let Ogata's comment walked past him. He knew that Ogata wanted to get a rise out of him, and even though he was fonder of his old mentor than many other professionals, Akira wouldn't let Ogata have the satisfaction of seeing his composure crack.

To keep his titles. Ogata had managed to keep his two titles for as long as he had earned them, but Akira had just earned his recently.

Akira resisted the urge to clench his fists.

"Maybe I should take a page out of Touya Meijin's book and watch out for rising players too," Ogata said, the reflection of the room flashing on his glasses made it difficult for Akira to read the emotion in his eyes.

Akira kept his palms flat against his thighs and said nothing. Ogata might not know what was going on, but judging from his words, he might have an idea of what Akira was hiding.

"The rising players?" Kurata 7-Dan joined their conversation after putting away the Go stones. The game ended, as expected, with his father's victory. "Is there somebody to watch out for?"

Before Akira could answer, Ashiwara replied. "Not that I know of. The incoming pros this year are at the same level as the one from the years before."

"How disappointing," Kurata said. "Nothing else exciting came after the New Wave."

"There was no such thing as 'The New Wave,'" Ogata crossed his arms. "The only notable player that year was Akira."

"There were a lot of brilliant incoming players that year," Ashiwara protested. "I thought Isumi-san, Waya-san, and Ochi-san were great players."

"But to call them the New Wave that would bring back the glory of Go to Japan was a bit too much," Kurata rubbed his chin. They all knew the article in Go Weekly that Kurata was referencing: an empty promise, a long forgotten dream. "I mean, Akira-kun completely overshadowed them."

All chuckled lightly at the memory except for Akira, who felt no need to be amused. Akira remembered the period of time after he passed the pro examination, there was a burst of fresh players that were thought to bring Japan back to its former Go glory, Akira included. However, Akira surpassed them all with amazing speed, and, years after, was so ahead that none from that generation could catch up to him. The so-called New Wave quickly splintered, and the Hokuto Cup marked the end of its era, if it could even be called an era.

Akira refused to feel guilty at the disintegration of the New Wave. It was not his fault that the players weren't strong enough.

"Akira-kun?" Ashiwara's voice snapped Akira out of his reverie.

"Yes?"

"What do you think about the new players this year?" Ashiwara asked.

"I have to be cautious of all players, Ashiwara-san," Akira said tactfully. He didn't mean so much the players passing the pro exam this year, but the existence of one Shindou Hikaru.

"Hmmmm," Ogata hummed in amusement next to Akira. Ogata was probably one of the only people beside his father who knew when Akira was not telling the whole story.

"Well-said," Ashiwara smiled. "I really can't let my guard down with any player, new or not."

"Hmmm, if even Touya Meijin is looking back, I guess I should keep an eye at the back of my head as well," Kurata said thoughtfully. "I still think that the new players are nothing to worry about, but I can't really judge their skills this early in the season."

All made a noise of agreement, except for Akira, his father, and Ogata.

"May I ask for a game, Akira-kun?" Ogata asked.

"Of course," Akira answered.

They settled across each other on the goban. Akira got white. The last time he played against Ogata was the final match for the Honinbou title, where he got black and lost spectacularly. Akira still remembered Ogata's words back then, after the game, still remembered his pale, hardened expression and Ogata's unreadable one reflected on the steel doors of the elevator. Ogata had said….

"Within the small difference in ability, wins are often decided by the mental make-up. Drive and motivation make a large difference. But right now…

you're not even worth beating."

"Onegaishimasu."

"Onegaishimasu."

Not even worth beating.

Akira raised his eyes to shoot Ogata a challenging look. He felt a satisfaction curling in his gut when a fleeting shock flashed across Ogata's face.

Akira looked at the black stone on the board. Ogata's first move.

Akira thought of Shindou, of the game that felt like a battle to the death, of the Go that he wanted to fight against, of his own Go that he wanted to play. Shindou had sat across Akira, knowing how powerful Akira was, perhaps even knowing that he wasn't going to win. Shindou had wanted to play an even game against Akira, had wanted to fight until the end even though Akira was twisting the sword at the heart of his stone formation. Shindou had wanted to defeat him with a fervent passion that brought the goban to life, that awakened the lion within Akira's own Go from its slumber.

It wasn't enough, Akira realized. All of the games that he had played, the victories that he had gained, the titles that he had earned…all of that were not enough.

He couldn't play like the way he had before; he had to play better. Even though he was getting stronger day by day, he was still lacking something.

Not even worth beating.

Akira now understood what Ogata meant.

Not even worth beating.

Not anymore, Akira thought, as his hand shot out, and, like a struck of lightning, sent his white stone down with a resounding Pa-Chi. Just watch me.

Shindou.

I'm right here.


"Akira-kun sure is amazing," Ashiwara said as Ogata weaved through the late afternoon traffic. "Aren't you nervous about defending your title against him next year?"

Ogata held back an irritated growl and replied with calmness that he didn't feel. "No." The game that he had just played against Akira was still fresh in his mind, only half a moku difference, but Ogata felt like it was a vaster gap than that, and he couldn't figure out why.

Not at all discouraged by Ogata's taciturn self, Ashiwara continued. "Those moves were amazing. I mean, Akira-kun is an amazing player, but I didn't expect that kind of intense play from him in a casual game."

"There is something different," Ogata agreed. Something about Touya Akira had changed since the last time Ogata had played against him. No—even more recent. Something had changed since last weekend, because the eyes of the Touya Akira across the goban from him this week was not the same eyes of the Touya Akira last week.

However, it wasn't until he got home and recreated the match that Ogata realized what was bothering him. The whole time they were playing, Akira had the intent to kill. It wasn't just a mere game to him; it was a war. One battle in an incoming series, a single stepping stone in something far greater than one mere victory, grander than Akira's goal of ripping Ogata's title from him next year.

"Hmmm," Ogata took a deep drag of his cigarette.

A long exhale followed.

"The Go world just became more interesting."


End of Chapter 2.

Chapter 3 preview. "How—how did you find me?"


Note:

Thank you so much to everyone who had read, reviewed, and favorited this fic. I was shocked to check my inbox yesterday and find so many alerts and support from so many people, especially since I didn't expect my fic to be liked, ahaha. I apologize for not replying to the reviews individually because I kept getting "Oops! We cannot find this page on .net" whenever I clicked on the reply URL. (Does anyone know what I could do to solve this?)

There were various questions and concerns that I saw from the reviews, and I want to answer them:

1) "Is this fic finished or a work in progress?"

This is a WIP. I am intending to write more of this universe.

2) "I get the impression that Sai is still with Hikaru, due to the comment about "let him play" Touya. Still, if Sai is, but Hikaru is considering that he should have let him play, that would mean that Hikaru has been playing against Sai all this time, which doesn't quite match his claim of being the first game played."

Sai is not with Hikaru when Hikaru played against Akira. It is not Hikaru's first game, and this is just one example of Hikaru not doing a good job of covering his track and keeping Sai a secret.

3) "So who actually played?"

Hikaru is the one who played against Akira.

Hopefully, these answers clear up some confusion. :)

Also, I've made some changes. I've decided to refer to a character by first/last name depending on whose POV the scene is from. I've also decided to write this fic from multiple POVs (like how you could read multiple thoughts of different people in the manga). I apologize for any confusion this may cause, but I hope that these changes would make the direction of the fic easier to see.

With that said, thank you for reading.