Lights out, Uchiha

Chapter 1 The birth of mission KSA

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Naruto… I could never…IF perhaps I did I would not be just writing fan fiction. This is done purely for entertainment.

Ages:

Rookie 9: 18

Team Gai: 19

Temari: 21

Kankuro :20

Hanabi: 13

Konohamaru corps: 14

Italics-thoughts

Bold/underline-stressed speech

CAPITALS -shouts

___________ _____________________________________________________

(Flashback) 'Sasuke-kun, will you go to dinner with me...you know for my birthday…"

No response.

'Y-you don't have to come if you don't want to...' Sakura stammered nervously.

It was a beautiful March spring day, and Sakura wanted an escort to her birthday party. Sasuke had returned to Konoha four months earlier and was more emo and stick up the ass (Sorry Sasuke fan girls!!) but She had forgiven the avenger and loved him even more. He looked at her blankly, pausing his violent decimation of Konoha's forests and brutal mutilation of a training dummy.

'Please Come, Please Come, Please come' she repeated over and over hoping that somehow he'd say yes.

'Sakura…I can't' he said monotonously.

'I-I understand' she sighed dejectedly as he resumed practice visibly ignoring her.

'You're an avenger.... I've heard that many times before!" she thought as she left the training ground.

As she remembered what occurred just moments ago, she burst into a set of fresh tears. Seriously, how many times was he going to break her heart? She never expected him to come on a shiny white horse, sweeping her off her feet, singing ballads or poetry or whatever. She knew he wasn't that type…and yes, for the third time, he was an avenger. She couldn't help but feel hurt so she decided on going home and going straight off to bed to shamelessly drown her sorrows. She expected that Sasuke might have changed, wishful thinking on her part.

His homecoming was nothing you'd expect. Just a dry, old anti-climatic "I'm Back", "as if he'd returned from vacation in Hawaii, or something. No heartbroken fool crying 'you finally came back home', just plain random shock. Things were hardly ever surprising in Konoha anymore and people went on with their lives. "WHY can't I ever stop loving you' she muttered dejectedly.

Suddenly, she heard some annoyingly high-pitched shrill shrieking, breaking her from her reminiscent reverie. Only one thing can disturb the peace like that in Konoha, and it was Ino Yamanaka. The whole village knew of the entire village's secret affairs and business solely through her lethal tongue. The said person burst open the door dramatically, leaving Tenten and Hinata in her wake, following somewhat unwillingly.

'Forehead, Kiba told Naruto who told Lee who told Gai-sensei who told his hairdresser who told Kakashi who told Mr Ichiraku's cousin's daughter's team-mate who I met at that new bar told me, so then I absolutely had to tell Hinata and Tenten that Sasuke rejected you 'Ino said all in one breath.

"Hard to think that the laziest people are in Konoha…That happened twenty minutes ago!!!" exclaimed Tenten.

'But I guarantee you billboard, if you try Ino's supreme extreme youthful love kit, then all your love problems will go adios.' Finished Ino smoothly.

"U-um I don't mean to be rude Ino but…youthful?' inquired Hinata apprehensively.

'Lee's the only business partner I got at that time. I wonder why no one else wanted to…" Ino said thoughtfully. 'It's a steal at four easy payments of 25 yen'

'Maybe because it's you giving the advice. I don't want the stupid love kit and I can handle it alone.' She said pissed. 'I'm going training with Hokage-sama.

'We've got to do something about her' Tenten said as the door slammed in front of them.

After a long hard training, Sakura trudged home tired and frustrated, desiring only a warm vanillas scented bubble bath, maybe a body scrub, a warm dinner, some chocolate, a good book and then a nice long nap. But when she opened the door and turning on the light she knew her bath, rest and dinner plans were ruined due to certain unwanted invaders in her home.

That selfsame gang was comprised of Lee, who was sitting on the sofa, Naruto searching her cupboards, Hinata twiddling her fingers, looking longingly at him, Ino sitting on her kitchen table ranting about her troubled love affair to a bored looking Tenten who sat opposite her.

'WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING IN MY HOUSE!?!?!" thundered Sakura, her eyes turning Sharingan red with rage.

'Sakura-Chan, my youthful blossom, we are only here to help aid in giving assistance to you,' Lee said animatedly.

'Lee you do realise that help, assistance and aid all means the same thing, stupid!!' Tenten said frustratedly with anime veins popping up. 'And Ino dragged me here. I was watching a new episode of shinobi wives."

'I heard that the asshole dumped you and I'm ready to kick his bastard as all over Konoha'. Naruto adamantly exclaimed, pumping a fist in the air.

'Crazy fools' Sakura muttered darkly. 'I'm over it' she said with a nice big fake smile pasted on her face.

'We're gonna pay him back for toying with your emotions…YOU HEARD THAT SHIKAMARU!!! YOU"LL HAVE HELL TO PAY!!! Ranted Ino, shouting all up to the heavens, as everyone stepped away from her nervously.

"She does realise that we're talking about Sasuke…right' whispered Naruto to Tenten.

"Who knows what goes on in the mind of our resident psycho, who knows" she answered sweat dropping.

"But somehow you can decipher your boyfriend the human Popsicle, huh' said Sakura slyly glad that she finally had the chance to do some teasing.

"NEJI IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!!!" Tenten loudly exclaimed, adding to the current bitch fit that Ino was throwing.

Suddenly, the bitch fit was over, the birds stopped chirping, the rivers stopped running, Tsunade dropped her bottle of sake, Jiraiya stopped peeking at women, Neji sneezed repeatedly and Orochimaru checked into rehab.

'O-kaaay…' said Ino backing away from Tenten, somehow forgetting that she just received the Oscar for bitchiness (I'm not Ino-bashing, I do love Ino), and had moments ago threw a fit that was unrivalled in Konoha.

'Nobody said he was Tenten. All I said was boyfriend' Sakura said innocently.

'Well team, it seems that we have multiple missions on our hands…Mission KSA is now in operation'. Ino said professionally, while Lee took notes with his trusty pen and notepad ™.

'Wait… KSA? What's it mean?' asked Naruto cluelessly scratching his head.

'Kick Sasuke's Ass' supplied Tenten "that bastard's going down one way or another."

'WHO"S WITH ME!!!" exclaimed Ino

"For all the unbearable brunt of agonising pain delivered onto my beloved, most youthful cherry blossom," added Lee passionately.

"THAT, AND MESSING AROUND WITH ME ALL THE TIME!! Thinks he's so cool, but I'm gonna show him…" swore Naruto shaking his fist at the heavens, eyes blazing with determination.

'GET THE FRICKIN' FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!! MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!' Screamed Sakura over the wild smoke alarm, as the gang scrambled to fill buckets of water and search for the extinguisher.

'Such youth Naruto demonstrates…I sometimes wish he were on our team to aid in spreading the joys of youth to my non-believing team-mates' said Lee wistfully, oblivious to the scalding heat of the raging inferno.

"Well there's nothing I could say to prevent you guys, but heck, I'm never in any main plot adventure…so I guess I'm in" Reasoned Tenten enthusiastically.

"And I could be around Naruto too" thought Hinata, blushing slightly.

"Ready your weapons" Said Tenten, eyes dangerously narrowing.

"NON VIOLENT, flower. Violence taints your divine Gai-sensei given youth. Why it..."

"Shut up, Lee. Let's do this" Tenten responded, agitated.

"Like I said before, WHO'S WITH ME!!!" roared Ino triumphantly, standing on a coffee table, pumping her fists in the air.

"WE ARE!!!' everyone else responded as Sakura shook her head.

"AND WHO ARE WE!?"

"TEAM KSA!!!GO KSA!!!!!!YAAYYYYYY!!!"

'My house is totally ruined…my mom is SO gonna freak' cried Sakura silently, looking at the glowing furniture.

Little did she know that the madness was only just the beginning.

Wow…. That only took one hour three, pages and 1, 156 words. Trust me it will get funnier and I've already got this story all planned out. Please review and give any suggestions or anything you think should happen. Flames or whatever, I'll take it like a man (even if I'm a girl)

Main Pairings include

Sasu/ Saku?

Neji/Ten?

Naru/Hina?

Ino/Shika/Tem

Any other pairings will be decided on later. Lookout for chapter two: Plans and Inconveniences. Adios, goodbye and out. And about the kit...let's not go there..

Chapter 2 Plans and inconveniencesAt Ichiraku's Ramen stand: 9:30 am

'How are we going to carry out the mission? Any ideas?'" asked Hinata slightly timidly.

"YES!!" Lee cried eagerly. "We will convince him of his youth and encourage him to escort Sakura to her 18th birthday bashment. If that does not work, then I would be honoured to escort her myself' he finished matter-of –factly.

'LEE!! Keep your youth to yourself…besides, why are you here, anyways' stated Sakura, getting up and folding her arms.

"Well, Gai-sensei went on a mission to redesign our spandex suit and make it more resistant to the adverse elements. We also hope to market that suit in the Suna in a wide variety of colours and textures, but as long as it's green" Lee rambled on, pointlessly.

"You still haven't answered my question" Sakura pointed out rubbing her temples.

"Neji jyukened me off the grounds when I challenged him to a duel" Lee stated, as sadly as he could.

"Don't you mean a sparring match??" Hinata questioned politely.

"No, a duel" he added seriously. "Well I saw it on Pokemon and yugioh GX and I got a deck, so I wanted to try my hand at other variations of defeating my prodigious adversary"

'Tres tragique, but we need to get back to the mission, pokeboy" Ino said sarcastically, sinking into her chair.

Tenten got up suddenly from the kitchen counter, and said 'Let's scratch his car and slash holes in his tyres!!" She pulled out a shiny kunai out of nowhere "You'd like that wouldn't you Tian?' stroking it lovingly.

'Tenten,my youthful flower. You watch too much television. It rots your brain and depletes your youth. Remember, kids, too much TV is bad for you, and smoking kills." Lee said warningly' Wagging a finger in a direction which was totally opposite to her.

"Man is bushy brows weird' muttered Naruto.

"I can just feel my youthdepleting like a yugioh GX life point meter' Tenten muttered sarcastically.

'I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with captain spandex over there' Ino said, jabbing a finger in Lee's direction. ' We live in Konoha and we don't have cars'

'I have a plan, and it's gonna work, especially since the bastard is on a mission in the Suna' said Naruto rubbing his hands gleefully together, eyes sparkling,.

They all gathered around to hear the dastardly plan, listening tentatively. A shocking gasp was heard, maniacal evil laughs and static produced from gleefully rubbed palms filled the vicinity.

'You know guys; the evil laugh so does not work. Go take some Tylenol cold and flu™, you sound worse than Hayate.' Said Tenten impatiently.

'But I gotta admit Naruto, that's a darned good plan. Way above you level of skill. Me Like.' Praised Ino,standing once again.

'Lee, you can stop the evil laugh now, you know. The joke is old already' Tenten pointed out.

'I know, but I think I really do have a cold"

The gang dispersed to prepare themselves for their gruelling mission ahead of them. Mission KSA was confidential, mainly because Sakura was embarrassed to let anyone find out. This month long mission was so confidential, even the Hokage didn't know the full details. Ino was able to work out a cover for them through a girl who had 'ties'.

'I only hope that after this mission that I can show my face in Konoha again' Sakura thought tiredly, before stepping into her bathtub. 'I'm officially surrounded by idiots'

.'I wonder if Sasuke'll really change' she mused while gently scrubbing her back.

'Things will most likely end up embarrassing and chaotic.

______________________________________________________

In the Hyuuga household

'Where are you going, Lady Hinata? You know perfectly well that while your father is away, that you may not leave the premises.' Said Neji in a monotonous, yet authoritative voice.

Neji was sitting on a couch reading a scroll on taijutsu and its use. He sat poised on the chair like a father who had caught his teenage daughter sneaking in past curfew.

She froze on the spot.

"Brother, I-I'm going on a mission to the Suna with Naruto and Tenten", she answered. The piercing glare Neji gave to her was enough to make any man or beast cower in fear.

"I-It's as if he sees right through me. This boy needs to consult a psychiatrist. She thought, before putting on a brave front. She didn't mention the others involved in the mission, then Neji would become suspicious and they weren't in her KSA squad.

'Why, lady Hinata, would the Hokage couple my team mates with you?' He asked firmly, maintaining that notorious, but not yet patented Hyuuga glare.

'W-well my byakugan is needed, brother" she answered hoping to anyone holy above that, Neji accepted this answer.

No way in HELL would that Happen.(HFIL lol!!!)

"I believe that I also possess the byakugan." He answered, expression hardening by the minute.

"W-well brother' she began, frantically searching for a response 'I-Its confidential"

'Hn. Well then, I will accompany you on this mission of you. I won't have you running off with Naruto" he spat.

Although our favourite prodigy was currently on good terms with Naruto, he couldn't forget the crushing defeat he suffered from Naruto at their first chunin exams. Plus, he was entrusted to protect Hinata, wasn't he? In addition Naruto was a junior pervert, diligently schooled by the master perv himself, Jiraiya. Man, he was close to being a man-whore.

'In addition, I have already dictated to you the rules governing your father's absence' he added, complete with a glare for good measure.

Man, the only time he had ever spoken this many words to her had to come from a lecture. Things were getting real uncomfortable. 'I need to get awaaaay' she thought. If she stayed any longer she just might crack.

"I don't think that you'll be able to come along, brother' came the timid reply.

Oh so Naruto really was going to be there. And she still hadn't gotten off her silly crush as well. A horny Naruto plus his timid cousin equals….

"Oh if he tries any thing I swear I will gut him like a fish, and slice him into thin, unequal slices" he thought aggressively, completely oblivious to the girl sweating bullets in front him. "Even Kyubi will cry uncle, just wait…"

Fully convinced, he turned to the girl, a deep smirk etched in his handsome face.

'Well it is settled; I am coming along with you. I'll be damned if Naruto interferes with you. Jiraiya is his sensei and his influence is positively negative. You do not want to be tainted by cheap, lecherous advances so early' he said disgustedly, mentally retreating into his cold persona once again.

'Hey what're you guys doing? I heard Neji all the way down the hall and I just knew something juicy HAD to be going on.' Called an annoying voice behind them.

In the doorway stood Hanabi menacingly. If you thought Neji had problems, she certainly had more. She was legally bipolar, moods shifting at a split second, attitudes ranging from Naruto-esque to Neji-esque to Sasuke-esque in a record of ten minutes flat. This made the girl a formidable opponent, notorious among all, similar to Ino. Very few can attest to withstanding or surviving the wrath of hurricane Hanabi, and the best-known example (and most pitied) being Konohamaru Sarutobi, every Sunday without fail. Well, except that time he was in a full body cast (cough Hanabi cough). It was better than daytime soap operas, and WWE pro wrestling combined with its conversational and physical elements conveniently suiting any Konoha citizen personality type. No one else had the ability to change a perfectly choreographed Shakespeare scene into WWE smack down like she did, but that was beside the point.

Everyone who wasn't a Hyuuga or around during the infamous Theatre Sundays, or somehow closely affiliated to her knew that she wasn't as cutesy as she seemed, but was a malicious gremlin as many bluntly put it. The thirteen year old looked like a splitting image of Hinata but their contrasting attitudes set them apart.

'No" Neji bluntly replied, in two point two seconds flat. There was no way he would bring her along. The results had been devastating the last time. He had never been the same nor did he treat peanut butter the same either.

"But you know Ari only watches soap operas. And besides, I'm old enough to go on a mission with you guys, and too old for a baby sitter like Ari. I'm a chunin for cripes sake. Made it before even you, Neji…" pleaded Hanabi complete with the puppy dog stare.

"Hn…No" Neji replied. Seriously, the sun had been in his sensitive Hyuuga eyes that fateful day of the chunin exams. He so had Naruto beat, and his shoelace untied (hello, ninja sandals). Turning to Hinata, he said with authority stiff in his voice ' Inform your squad leader that I will be in on this mission as well. I shall visit the Hokage today.'

Oh no, the Hokage wasn't supposed to know about this… Hinata thought apprehensively 'I'm torn, I have to let him come along…'

Before she had even given her answer, he had already departed the room. The one sided conversation was over. When the door had shut, Hanabi immediately began to speak.

'Hinata, I know all about your bogus KSA mission and also have tons of blackmail against you! You do not want Naruto to see the letters you wrote him, or the picture of him sleeping, or in the shower, far less the one with him I the leather underwear' she said pacing up and down the room.

'So I have a proposal. You convince dear cousin Neji to take me along or father will see your copy of Icha Icha paradise: Millennium Collector's edition. Is that material for a future clan heir to be reading? Especially page 22, tips on how to pleasure your lover: fuc…' finished the girl, all in one breath. She was pleased that she had gotten through.

'Okay, Okay. It's a deal.' Her sister said softly, holding up her hands in submission. 'Please don't embarrass me on the mission…' she pleaded.

'Of course not, sister. What would lead you to fathom such a dreadful thing…' Hanabi said with an evil, sickening smile.

Hanabi left the room soon after sensing that her job was done, to immediately prepare for the mission. Already planning Hinata's demise, she went to pack the archives, hardly noticing her sister's despair.

'I've got to tell Tenten about this inconvenience' she thought 'And I may need some tranquilliser, tonight too…. And a shot of vodka …on the rocks'

Meeting place, Next day 12:00 pm

'WHAT!!! Shrieked Tenten loudly "NEJI IS COMING ALONG?!'

Hinata's absence for once was glaringly obvious, as Tenten wanted the shy girl's blood at that moment. Why didn't she stop him? Oh…right. It is Hinata that we're talking about. Tenten immediately calmed down. Besides, Hinata was in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, and what is believed to be a mild seizure. It was bound to happen sometime with all that blushing. The girl may even need therapy to control her blood flow someday. Or it'll kill her. Hinata never drinks alcohol; he must have given her a hard time. She mentally reasoned.

'Hey girl no need to let your hormones take control' joked Ino, doubled over in laughter ' Don't get your hair ties in a bunch'

'DIE INO, DIE!!!!' cried Tenten letting out a war cry and a barrage of weapons, enough to supply the military artillery, chasing down a screaming Ino.

'Sakura, my lovely one, I am sorry to interrupt the speculation of the explosion of youth, but we are yet to obtain the hokage's permission' said Lee dutifully, uncharacteristically adding sense into the situation.

'This is going to be a long mission' thought Sakura wistfully, oblivious to the bloody massacre happening right before her.

Chapter 3:Away to the Suna

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