AN: Wow! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing this story! I have gotten so many hits on the story, favorites, and alerts. I'm honestly beyond shocked at this!
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the Hunger Games, if that isn't already obvious.
A week later I had come home from visiting Sae and found Peeta beating a pile of dough on our counter. Usually he just used the machines he had insisted we purchase for his baking so I knew something was wrong. He only did this when he was frustrated and needed to take out aggression. I made little noise as I put my things in the closet and headed to take a shower. It was obvious tonight dinner was going to be late.
As I removed my clothes I stared in the mirror taking account of the marred flesh that would never heal. I was still in awe as to how Peeta found me attractive. I quickly hopped into the steaming shower so I would quit staring at myself.
"Katniss," Peeta called opening the bathroom.
"Yes?" I replied as I lathered up my hair.
"Have you given any more thought to what we talked about?" he asked.
"What the whole having a child thing?"
"Yeah, that," Peeta said somberly.
"I still can't do it Peeta," I replied.
"What will it take for me to convince you?" Peeta asked.
"There isn't any convincing in this matter. I refuse to even think about our child going through half of the things we've been through. I don't want them to be as messed up in the head as we are. Damn it Peeta, don't you see it's completely unfair for us to have a child while you're still having flashbacks. Albeit they're so infrequent now, and me having these days where I can't get out of bed because of all the mocking jay shit."
I took a deep breath after my rant. The steam of the shower was taking me over and I was thankful I was finished because the steam was starting to make me feel lightheaded. Because of my burns it was sometimes hard for me to tell the temperature of the water, what felt good on one part of my body would scald the other.
"Katniss," Peeta whispered as I opened the shower door. I raised my head to meet his eyes. The look in Peeta's eyes nearly broke me.
"I'm sorry," I replied softly as I felt a tear fall down my cheek.
Peeta wordlessly left the bathroom leaving me alone in my own thoughts. I wrapped myself in a towel and braced my hands against the vanity. I couldn't even handle to look myself in the mirror. I simply hung my head and let the tears fall. I felt my legs give out beneath me and I fell into a heap on the floor.
"Why can't I just give him this?"
I went to bed without dinner that night. After I gathered myself in the bathroom I could only force myself to get into the bed. I woke at four in the morning and found a plate of cheese rolls and a glass of water on my nightstand. I rolled over and found Peeta fast asleep.
I rolled to face his sleeping form. I softly braced my hand on his scruffy cheek. In sleep he looked like the innocent boy that was reaped the same day I was, just with a few more distinguished lines. I traced his eyebrows and lips and allowed myself to pretend that I didn't have emotional hang-ups. In a perfect world I would have made a point to wake Peeta up so we could attempt to make a baby. Allowing myself to truly take it a step further I imagined what that child would look like.
Would it be a boy or a girl? Who would it look like the most? I could only hope it got Peeta's regal coloring compared to my simple Seam looks. I let out a shuddering sigh and closed my eyes.
"What are you looking at me like that for?" Peeta's morning voice asked me breaking me from my thoughts.
"No reason."
"Mmm, I don't believe you," Peeta replied.
"That's fine."
"Katniss, I love you."
"I love you too," I replied kissing Peeta's lips.
"Tell me something good that happened to you yesterday?" Peeta asked pushing a tangled piece of hair behind my ear.
"I gave a Sae's granddaughter one of those cupcakes you made me," I said softly trailing my finger down his chest.
"What made you do that?" he asked.
"She asked for it," I shrugged.
"Oh," he laughed to himself and shook his head.
I felt Peeta's hand glide down from its position on my cheek, down my neck as he kissed my forehead. As he peppered my face with kisses his hand made it's way down my arm to my naked hip.
"What are you doing?" I asked between returning kisses.
"Loving my wife," he smiled against my lips.
"You do that every day Peeta."
Peeta didn't say a word to that; he simply just kissed me with a little more fervor as he brought his body over mine. I parted my legs allowing him to settle against me and felt his arousal as he thrusted his hips to mine.
I could lie and say that every time with Peeta was just like the time before. But I would be lying. Peeta always went out of his way to make me feel cherished and satisfied. It was like the first time we discovered each other when we had sex.
As soon as we both were spent Peeta pulled my body so my head was resting on his chest, and my left leg was draped over his hips. I squeezed him and kissed above his beating heart. There was something so reassuring about hearing the muted lub-dub through his chest wall. Knowing how many times I nearly lost the opportunity to be in this moment made me hate myself a little more.
"I'll think about it," I whispered.
AN: If you all could just leave a little bit of love in a review I would greatly appreciate it! I always love to hear what you all think about where I'm taking these characters.
