I lied. That wasn't the end. I was struck with more inspiration, and the reviews were so lovely and kind that I just had to write more. I didn't mean to make anyone sad/cry, but it's a bit unavoidable with Rose in the story.
Linger
River was going on about Amy and Rory, how amused Rory was and how shocked Amy was at being the Doctor's in-laws, and how happy they were. The Doctor wasn't quite listening. He wanted to remind River that they got married in an aborted timeline, but his mind was elsewhere. Elsewhere being a library in London where a blonde girl sat all alone to battle the monster known as physics. He'd promised to help her again, just this one last time.
"What's the matter?" River asked him as she noticed his far-off gaze.
"Matter? Nothing's the matter. I've just got some place to be," he replied quickly, brusquely.
River raised a brow.
"Spoilers," the Doctor deadpanned.
"Fine, just drop me off at the Stormcage, will you. I'll be off then," River didn't bother prying. He'd tell her once he was ready to tell her about whatever was bothering him.
With River safely in prison once more, the Doctor ended up in the library, searching. She sat alone again, reading the textbook intently. Her hair was in a messy bun and oh dear God, she looked so young and the Doctor kept trying to remind himself that she was still fifteen. He scrunched up his face, willing his hearts to slow to their usual rhythm. He made his face blank and emotionless. Be polite but distant, he reminded himself.
"Hello!" he greeted.
She turned around, smiling slowly, "Hi!"
The Doctor pulled out the chair and sat down.
"Where should we start?" he asked.
"Hold on," Rose rummaged through her bag, pulling out a folder and a paper. She handed it to him.
"Well?" she asked, biting her tongue.
"Brilliant, you are," he complimented.
"My teacher was so surprised," Rose took the paper back, happy to have gotten an 'A' on her last pop quiz.
"Well, can't dissapoint, can we?"
With that they spent the better part of the afternoon reviewing and the Doctor quizzing her on the formulas. He leaned closer to her to see the diagram she was drawing, but the smell of her shampoo nearly made him faint. It was the same shampoo, the same one she had during her time on the TARDIS, the same one that had such a pleasant smell and may or may not be currently in the bathroom in the TARDIS. (He didn't keep it on purpose, really. He just noticed a few of her things left on the TARDIS and let them be. It's not like she left with much notice. Or like she left on her own accord and...stop). He needed to stop this internal monologue before he drove himself crazy.
All that mattered right now was that she was sitting next to him, for the last time, and that he had to make every single second count. Or else he'd end up hating himself forever.
"Well, that's done with. I feel like I can ace that test tomorrow," Rose smiled at the Doctor, collecting her belongings, "You're a great tutor."
"Oh, thanks," he said modestly.
"I believe I owe you some chips," she said as they left the library, taking the same path as they did before.
They were less quiet this time, with Rose opening up more and the Doctor fabricating a story about where he was from, his schooling, and hobbies. He wished he could just tell her the truth, because lying to her made his hearts hurt.
"D'you tutor for other subjects? My maths isn't too great," Rose asked as they were sitting down with a plate of chips.
"I do, but..." the Doctor sighed.
"I'm bothersome, aren't I? I'm sorry, I roped you into helping me," she started apologetically.
"No, no. It's not that. I'm moving," he lied. He was always moving, that did nothing to change anything.
"Oh," she looked down, unreadable expression on her face.
"I'm sure you'll be able to find another tutor," he offered half-heartedly.
She smiled lightly, "I don't think I could find another tutor like you even if I tried."
With that, he felt his head spin a little and grinned goofily.
"That so?"
Rose nodded, smile more playful, "I'm going to miss you, John."
"And I'll miss you, Rose."
They left after the Doctor paid for the chips, despite Rose's protests. He walked her back to the Powell Estate in near silence. His fingers twitched toward her hand, just wanting the feel of her hand in his one last time. But he couldn't, and she wouldn't, because she barely knew him.
"This is me," she said as the flats came into view.
"Right. Rose Tyler, it's been a pleasure tutoring you," he stuck out his hand, intending for her to shake it.
A morose look crossed her face, and he thought that Rose Tyler should never look sad, and then remembered how many time he was the cause of her sadness.
"Goodbye, John," with that she reached her hand to his shoulder, brushing the tweed, and kissed him on the cheek quickly.
He was left staring at her, dumbstruck. She pulled away in a flash, blushing, and sped off. She turned around and waved before disappearing into the building.
"Goodbye, Rose," his voice cracked and sounded hoarse. It was as if he'd been crying, when really he'd been fighting the tears and the emotions.
He went back to the TARDIS, alone. He never wanted to say goodbye to her, because every time it hurt so damn much.
He said he was moving, but he lingered. Ever so often, he'd find himself in London, unexpectedly seeing her, then disappearing as to not be seen. Sometimes he'd go after an adventure with River. Sometimes River would be with him when he'd spot her in a crowd on Oxford Street (or wherever they were) and break out in a cold sweat. He didn't tell River, but River knew. And she felt bad for him, and felt bad for the girl in the pink jumper and trainers.
One day he was walking along, minding his own business, when he saw her. With him. Only he had a leather jacket, blue eyes, and large ears. And he was smiling, holding her hand as she practically skipped alongside him. No matter the regeneration he was in, they just fit. And it broke his hearts to know what would happen, and that piece that completed him would be gone in a matter of a year or so.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered to himself, to her, though they couldn't hear it. He was sorry for turning her life upside down, but he was certainly not sorry for meeting her. For that he would never apologise.
Part of him wanted to warn himself, make him do anything to protect her. The other part wanted to whisk her away himself. But he couldn't. And he wouldn't.
So he hid in the shadows and watched as Rose Tyler and the Doctor held hands, smiling as if nothing could break them.
The eleventh Doctor ducked back into the TARDIS, broken.
Yeah. Now it's done for good, unless I get more inspiration. I tend to throw the ninth Doctor into a lot of DW stories I write, because I love him and wish he had another series. I hope I didn't just ruin this story by adding another chapter.
