Your heavy heart is made of stone

And it's so hard to see you clearly

You don't have to be alone


Sakura lay lifeless in her bed, a mountain of blankets huddled on top of her. A pile of wadded up Kleenexes sat beside her bed, piling onto the floor haphazardly. She was sure she was a sight for sore eyes lying there with a thermometer sticking out from her lower lip. Letting out yet another rattling sneeze, she leaned forward and plucked the thermometer from her mouth.

101.4 degrees…

It seemed her brooding escapade out in the cold yesterday wasn't quite the best idea. She sighed angrily and plopped back in bed, bunching the blanket around her face.

Lucky for Sakura, it was her day off from the hospital. She definitely didn't feel like facing Tsunade looking and feeling worse than she had before. Now she had the day to spend lamenting away in her germ infested bed… wonderful. When she awoke that morning she almost reached for the cold medicine in her cabinet until a thought crossed her mind, reminding her she wasn't free to live her life carelessly anymore.

And with that thought she was also reminded that there were much more important things to face than a mere head cold.

She wasn't even sure how to go about facing it. Somehow, in some miraculous, life-destroying scheme, there was a little fetus growing inside of her, sucking away all her nutrients and only getting bigger by the day. It was unfathomable, especially because she had no recollection of any sexual activity in her memory. Wasn't that how babies were made? Wasn't it the consequence of two adult individuals enjoying each other's company? Well, somehow Sakura got the dreaded consequence without ever enjoying anyone's company.

The fact that it existed inside of her wasn't actually what made her head spin; it was the thought that somehow, some way, someone had undressed her and violated her without her ever knowing. Just the thought had her skin crawling and her stomach churning. Who was it? Was it someone she knew? When did it happen? Did she actually enjoy it?

She never lingered long on that thought. If she did, she knew the world around her would begin to spin and she would get that sickening surge of bile in her throat again.

Sakura sighed, fighting the familiar rush of panic in her mind. She rolled over in bed, pulling the blanket over her head and trying hard to steer her mind back to brainstorm mode. She had to think… There had to be some clues in there…

Her last period was over 12 weeks ago, which would line up with the amount of HCG in the blood test. But what could have happened after that that left a huge gaping hole in her memory? Sometimes people selectively choose what to remember, but there was no way she could forget that… Especially that.

Every time she tried to recount her days following she always came back to the same thing—the mission with Kakashi.

Something was there. She knew it. It landed perfectly in her ovulation window. But it was a simple, routine A-class mission. They were to carry a package across Fire Country to a small village called Hanaka, and deliver it to a very wealthy business man there. The mission went smoothly and they only encountered two battles, in which the opposing shinobi were grossly outmatched. The mission lasted ten days, and out of those, only two were spent in villages where civilization existed. The rest were spent camping beneath the stars next to a loudly snoring Kakashi. She knew it couldn't be him… there was no way. But maybe he could shed some light on time they spent apart? Had she wandered off and got mad drunk somewhere where a worthless blockhead took advantage of her? It didn't particularly sound like something she would do, but technically, she was proven that anything could happen.

She replayed the mission over and over in her mind like a broken record, and nothing even remotely suspicious came to mind. Thinking about it any longer was only making her head hurt more, and she knew she had to take action somehow to find the answers she needed.

Sakura growled through gritted teeth, letting her eyes travel to her closet where Kakashi's green, flak vest hung conspicuously between her plain kimonos. She supposed it was an excuse to talk to him again if she played her cards right. She had to find him where he least expected her to show up, and where he couldn't slip away with another bogus excuse…

Sakura was almost confident where to start…


BANG! BANG! BANG!

Sakura yelped and lunged forward, crashing to the floor in a heap of disheveled blankets. In an instant, her blissful slumber had been shattered, and she was sent harshly back to reality. She shot a muffled curse at the floor beneath her as she gathered herself to stand.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Suddenly realizing where the offending sound was coming from, she glared daggers at the wood paneling of her front door, hoping her hate and disdain would somehow make it through to the other side.

"ALRIGHT! I'm coming!" Sakura yelled, gathering the blanket around her shoulders. She stood reluctantly, making her way towards the door. She cursed one last time before pulling the door open gruffly, too angry to care that her eyes were blood-shot and her face was crusted with drool.

"Yes?"

Naruto stood proudly at her front door, staring back at her with his trademark smile. He grinned wider, ready to regard his female friend with a bear hug, until he caught sight of her pitiful outward appearance. He faltered as his jaw fell open.

"Sakura-chan! What happened?"

"I'm sick." She dead-panned, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

She sent Naruto an annoyed look and then turned, leaving her front door wide open. She'd known Naruto too many years to know that something as simple as a door wouldn't him out. Making her way into the kitchen, Sakura flicked on the tea kettle and removed two mugs from the cabinet. Naruto was already there, though, sitting comfortably at the kitchen table and munching on her day-old donuts.

"What are you doing here, Naruto?" She tried to lace her voice with kindness, but it was hard to do in her sleep-deprived state.

Naruto grinned widely, displaying a mouthful of chewed donuts. "I jus- wanit- to know ho- you were."

Sakura stared at her friend blankly. "Rrright." She turned, searching the cabinet for her left over tea bags. "Or is there something you want me to do for you?"

Her voice was muffled through the wooden encasement of the cabinet, and for a moment she thought he hadn't heard her. Shutting the cabinet door loudly, Sakura turned, ready to repeat herself until she caught sight of the serious frown on Naruto's face.

Fear struck her instantly, reminding her of the burning secret hidden beneath her clothing. Her hand fell instinctively to the tiny, swollen bump beneath her pajamas.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the sound of a chair scraping on the floor interrupted her. Naruto made his way around the table in one, swift movement, closing the gap between them. His brilliant, cerulean eyes stared down at her with concern.

"Hinata-chan told me to come see you; that you needed my support."

Sakura gulped, feeling the heat of fresh tears gather beneath her eyes. She wasn't ready for this yet… She thought Hinata would at least give her a little time to figure it all out.

"Naruto…"

Naruto wrapped his arm around Sakura, pulling her into a crushing embrace. Sakura coughed and struggled against the lack of oxygen in her chest. She was keenly aware of the little growing life squeezed between them.

"What's going on Sakura-chan? You can tell me anything…"

Confusion struck her features and she pulled away from him. She peered up at him, searching his face for any disappointment. When she found none, she sighed in relief and let her eyes wander away from his.

"She didn't tell you…" She muttered softly under her breath.

Naruto stared at her with puzzlement creased into his brow. "What...?"

Sakura shook her head, rubbing a hand over her forehead. "Nothing, never mind…"

The shrill sound of the tea kettle interrupted the heated conversation between them, and Sakura quickly took it as an opportunity to divert Naruto's attention. She moved hurriedly, pouring the hot water into the mugs and steeping the tea bags one by one. She added an extra spoonful of sugar to Naruto's mug before settling down at the table, ready to change the direction of the conversation.

Naruto didn't take the hint. "Sakura-chan, what's going on? Did something happen to you?"

He moved closer until he was towering over her seated position at the table. Sakura sighed heavily, gripping the warm mug tightly. She was too tired to handle a suspicious Naruto today…

"No, Naruto. Nothing's happened. I'm fine."

Naruto sat down suddenly, gathering Sakura's hands in his. "Sakura-chan, please, I want to help."

Sakura stared down at Naruto's warm hands encircled over hers. Years of close friendship hadn't changed his feelings for her. Even though he spent more and more time with Hinata by his side, there were moments like this where his feelings would erupt again, making Sakura feel guilty and sad. She loved Naruto… she really did. But it would never be what they both needed.

The gentleness in Naruto's words struck Sakura hard, and she felt herself slowly giving in. "Naruto…" She removed her hands quietly, and folded them in her lap. "I just haven't been feeling well. Yesterday, Tsunade told me she was disappointed in me, and it really hit me hard. I didn't know how to handle it…"

Naruto's eyes shone with empathy. "I'm sorry Sakura-chan…"

She nodded once and turned away from him, raising the warm mug of tea to her lips. Her words weren't exactly a lie; they were entirely true. But she was merely using it as a diversion from the problem that was much more substantial. She idly wondered when she would tell Naruto, and how. It would be something she would have to tackle when she had more knowledge of the situation. But would she ever have the courage to face him—face all her friends? Maybe it would be something she didn't have to face if she made a certain decision…

That thought made her heart drop instantly. She couldn't do that… She spent every day fighting through blood, sweat, and tears to save lives. How could she take one away from a child that had no say in the situation? It was definitely a contradiction for her…

Sadness swelled in Sakura like a wave crashing onto shore, and she desperately fought the tears building inside of her. A familiar burning, tightness surged in her throat and she gulped, hoping to quell the storm inside of her before it erupted. She squeezed her eyes shut and searched her mind for something, anything, to distract her.

Luckily Naruto was already a step ahead of her. "Hey, Sakura-chan, are you coming to the Konoha Winter Celebration next week?"

Sakura blinked, entirely caught off guard by Naruto's question. With all the news she had faced lately, she had completely forgotten about it. It was an annual occurrence that attempted to bring holiday cheer and joy to the shinobi population; however, it usually just ended up being a night full of mindless drinking and degrading hook-ups. Sakura really enjoyed the tree lighting ceremony, though.

"Well…" She thought about it for a moment, realizing how hard it would be to dodge the never-ending offers for alcohol. She wasn't sure she had the strength to put up with that.

Excitement brimmed in Naruto's eyes, and he shot Sakura a near perfect puppy dog face. "Aww, please?"

Sakura melted, mentally scolding herself for giving in so easily. "Oh, alright. But I'm not staying long."

Naruto shot up, raising his fist in the air. "Alright!"

Sakura glared at his antics and crossed her arms over her chest angrily. The endless bounds of happiness in Naruto were far from charming, but she also knew it was something to admire. He was always there ready to pick her up after she'd fallen. She wasn't sure she could find that quality in any of her other friends. Kakashi had a similar support system for her, but it wasn't nearly as extensive as Naruto's. She could always count on her blonde friend. Period.

Her hand brushed across her stomach momentarily. But was that something she was getting ready to challenge? She hoped not…


The nervousness in Sakura brimmed dangerously inside of her, spilling over the edge and penetrating her confident exterior. She had been so ready to do this as she stepped out of her apartment into the cold winter air, but as her legs carried her further and further into town, she could feel her assurance slipping away slowly; in its place it left behind anxiety and fear. She could do this… she had to do this.

She stood shakily in the vacant street, grasping the edge of Kakashi's flak vest. Across from her stood the doorway of said man's apartment, its windows casting an eerie yellow glow into the street. She peered up at the window on the top level, searching for any sign of life. A strange emotion swelled inside of her as she realized the light was on and the curtain was drawn. He was home.

She had spent many days here, tossing rocks at the window and beckoning her unpunctual sensei. But she had never been inside. She couldn't even remember a time she rang the bell. And now, she was faced with the dilemma that would finally let her into his apartment. Something about it felt wrong…

But she had to do it….

Sakura cursed under her breath, starting towards the door. And with a confidence driven only by fear, she marched right up to the bell and rang it. Silence swallowed her up and fueled the panic inside of her. As the seconds passed sluggishly, Sakura could feel her confidence wavering, and she was almost ready to leave when the loud click of the door unlocking stopped her. With another muttered curse, Sakura flung the door open and dashed up the stairs.

At the top of the stairs, Kakashi stood in the open doorway peering at her tiredly. He was stripped of all his usual clothing, and he wore a black, sleeveless undershirt, mask, and a pair of loose, black jogging pants. His usual forehead protector was missing and two mismatched eye stared back at her openly. The change in appearance caught Sakura off guard, and for a moment she felt like she was looking in on something intimate.

Kakashi regarded her with an impatient look, and in an instant, every last sliver of confidence in Sakura was sucked away. She opened her mouth to speak, but only a soft sigh escaped her lips.

"Sakura, what are you doing here this late?"

She bit her lip and thrusted the vest towards him. Heat burned in her cheeks as she stared back at him, bewildered. It wasn't her plan to get rid of the bait so quickly, but the change in Kakashi's appearance had knocked the sense straight out of her head.

Somehow, she finally found her voice, and she opened her mouth ready to answer him when a loud, thunderous sneeze interrupted her. She sniffed, leaning forward and plucking a Kleenex from her pocket. As she blew her nose, she peered up at him sheepishly. She was sure she hadn't been this embarrassed in all her young years.

Kakashi shook his head, sending the sickly girl a disappointed frown. Kicking the door open behind him, he motioned for her to follow. Sakura stared, befuddled, as she watched his silver mop of hair disappear inside the door. She hesitated for a moment before she finally surrendered, trudging in behind him.

What she saw was entirely what she expected. Kakashi's apartment was small and scantily furnished. Everything had an obvious purpose, and nothing could be deemed useless. Even the bed was decorated with only one pillow and a simple shuriken-printed blanket. Two small pictures frames perched neatly above his bed were the only sign of personalization.

Immediately, Sakura gravitated towards them. She snatched the frames in her hand, and cradled them closely as she stared down at them. One was a picture of Kakashi and his team at a young age. The other was a picture of her and the rest of team 7; the same picture she had hanging in her living room.

She smiled fondly at the young faces before her. So much has changed since then. That was a time when Sasuke was just another part of team—an anchor in her small family. Things couldn't be any more opposite now.

She sighed, tracing her finger over the glass. Letting her eyes linger on the portrait of herself, she was suddenly aware of how different she was then. Becoming a ninja was a goal fueled by vanity only, and her feelings for Sasuke were the only thing that mattered. Even her dislike for Naruto was childish and arrogant. She frowned at that thought, abruptly aware of the disappointment in her former self. And now, when she finally felt confident in herself, she was faced with a life changing event that could take away all her hard work in the blink of an eye.

She shuddered, returning the frames to their original resting place. When she turned around, she was startled to see Kakashi leaning against the kitchen doorway, staring at her with serious eyes.

She dropped her eyes and sighed, gripping the edge of his vest. "I-I came to return this. Thank you for letting me borrow it yesterday." She chuckled inwardly, motioning to her pale, feverish complexion. "Obviously, I got what I deserved for being so foolish."

Kakashi stepped forward and retrieved the vest. He paused, and then presented the vest to her. "We both know that's not why you're here."

Sakura's eyes widened briefly before a look of defeat settled in the creases of her frown. She bit her lip and sighed, feeling the anxiety brimming inside her again. She wished she could just come out and say it—Kakashi-sensei, I'm pregnant and I've no idea who the father is! Got any clues? But it was hard enough to talk to the man about idle things like mission briefings or even the weather. How was she supposed to find the courage to expose her heart so openly?

She didn't have time to ponder it any longer as she felt the building pressure of sneeze rise in her sinuses. Before she could contain it, she heaved forward and let it out.

AAA-CHOO!

Kakashi raised a silver brow at her before stepping closer and laying a cool hand over her forehead. The heat of her flesh burned into his hand, and he winced.

"Sakura, you have a fever. What are you doing here? You should be at home in bed."

He grasped her elbow gingerly and steered her towards the loveseat. Once there, he pushed her into a sitting position and retreated to the kitchen. Sakura watched him as he worked among the cabinets, retrieving two matching mugs. He flicked on the tea kettle and made his way back towards her, a cool washcloth wringing in his bare hands.

Kakashi sat down beside her, his weight springing the cushion beneath her. Sakura sighed in heavenly relief as he placed the washcloth on her burning forehead. The sweet sensation of cool water on her skin almost made her disregard the proximity between them. Almost…

The silence was suddenly deafening, and Sakura fought to calm the hammering in her chest. She gulped once, squeezing her eyes shut and searching her mind for the courage she desperately needed. Luckily, Kakashi picked up on her anxiety, and made an attempt at small talk.

"Somehow I find this oddly humorous. The medic shows up at my house in dire need of care. Hmm…"

Sakura blushed, somehow darkening the color in her feverish cheeks even more. She knew Kakashi was a smart man… too smart, in fact. He was acutely aware of her anxiety and he was seizing it as an opportunity to ridicule her. She should've known it would end up this way. So she counteracted the only way a student would know how—careful, yet defiant opposition.

"It depends on how you define 'dire'"

Kakashi raised a brow at her, a slight smirk settling in the wrinkles of his eyes. His mismatched sharingan eye clashed with the sparkle in his other, coal-colored one. "Oh, says the girl who stayed out in the cold all day out of sheer despondency?"

His words startled her, and she paused, wondering how long he'd seen her sitting there yesterday. Had he seen her leaving the clinic? Did he already know?

She quickly corrected her train of thought, though, not ready to allow herself such thoughts. She smirked up at him, hoping to continue the carefree banter between them. "Was it despondency or rumination?"

"I hardly think someone who's crying is ruminating."

The seriousness in his words grappled the heart of the conversation and sent it flying in the other direction; Sakura felt dizzy all of the sudden, and all she could feel was the heat of his eyes on hers. She bit her lip in desperation, trailing her eyes back to the picture frames sitting quaintly above Kakashi's bed.

"Do you miss it sometimes…?"

Kakashi followed her line of sight and nodded quietly. "I have nostalgia for those days, yes. But I think I have regret more than anything."

Sakura's eyes widened and she turned to face him again. "Regret?"

He was quiet for a moment, his eyes staring blankly into the air. And then he spoke, his voice a low, pensive melody. "I've always taken responsibility for the way things turned out."

Instinctively, Sakura reached out and touched the top of his hand gingerly. "You can't say things like that, Kakashi-sensei. Sasuke was a lost cause. His soul was filled with a darkness none of us could reach."

Kakashi stared down at the dainty fingers closed over his. His eyes bore deep into the flesh, and Sakura flinched, immediately retracting her hand. She folded it awkwardly in her lap.

She was failing miserably at this confrontation. Kakashi was a highly enigmatic creature, and even though she opened the line of conversation with lightheartedness and banter, he still found a way to close her off. She hadn't a clue how she would address the conversation she desperately needed to have.

She sighed, suddenly surprised by a thought that popped up in her mind. "Tell me about your team with Minato…"

Kakashi stiffened beside her, his fingers gripping the edge of the loveseat. Instantaneously, a thick, heavy air surrounded them, chocking off their air supply. Sakura sat precariously beside him, acutely aware of the shift in aura, and she wondered furiously what she had said wrong.

Silence descended, and Kakashi narrowed his eyes, as if he was pondering something very momentous. And then, after what seemed like an eternity, he turned to face her, regarding her with a crushing sadness.

"You don't… remember?"

The way he said it made Sakura realize something very critical, and in an instant, her heart dropped strait out of her chest.

"What…?"

All of a sudden, memories of the mission three months prior came rushing into her mind feverishly. In a dizzying array of images and emotions, she saw a glimpse of her and Kakashi, fighting side by side, chatting leisurely over a campfire, traveling quietly in a comfortable ambience. Her head swam in stricken fervor, pocketing her memories and organizing them one by one; and then, suddenly, she felt it—a missing connection, a gap in her synapses.

Panic gripped her heart, squeezing tighter and tighter until breathing was impossible. "What… are you talking you about?"

Kakashi stood, suddenly, stalking across the room until he was as far away as the enclosed walls would allow. He kept his back to Sakura, folding his hands neatly behind him.

Something struck a delicate nerve inside Sakura, and she felt the heat of anger building inside her. "What are you talking about, Kakashi-sensei?"

Her voiced bellowed loudly, and in any normal situation, she would've been surprised by the tone in her voice. But the rage was taking over, holding an alliance with the panic swimming in its wake, and she could no longer turn back.

Sakura stood abruptly, the cool washcloth flinging to the floor violently. It hit the floor with a thud as she lunged forward, catching up to Kakashi in two, short strides. As she lurched to a stop, she reached forward to grasp the back of his shirt, but pain lanced in her forearm as something stopped her.

Kakashi held Sakura's wrist tightly, staring down at her with an intense, paralyzing gaze. It took her a moment to realize what was happening as his left eye began spinning, a whirling blur of red and black. She gasped as she recognized the hypnotic state of mind pushing down on her consciousness. Instinctively, she squeezed her eyes shut, sending a surge of powerful chakra to the retinas of her eyes.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Sakura pushed Kakashi away, stumbling backwards in the process. Rubbing furiously at her eyes, she turned her back on him, desperate to escape the power of the Sharingan.

"Sakura…"

"Leave me alone!"

Sakura started for the front door hurriedly, her heart pounding furiously in her chest. In her foolish attempt to search for the truth, she had forgotten that Kakashi could easily use the sharingan to see the truth she had hidden. It wasn't something she was ready for. No… She couldn't allow him to violate her that way…

As her hand grasped the cool metal of the doorknob, Kakashi's voice steeled her, making her freeze in her tracks.

"You can't always run away, Sakura."

His words echoed in her ears, but Sakura refused to listen. She wrenched the door open in one swift movement, slamming it behind her.

It wasn't until she was in the streets, panting as her legs pushed forward, that she'd heard what he said:

You can't always run away…


A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I hope you enjoyed the 2nd installment! Many more to come!