Title: Boredom: Hub Style
Author: DaletheChu-iantojjackh
Rating: M with a prompt like this one can you expect anything less
Summary: Rift activity is nil and everyone gets a little bored...maybe a lot. How else would Jack and Ianto alleviate their boredom?
Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Warnings: suggestive sexual themes
Spoilers: It's AU, so none really
Authors Notes: Bingo square fill for prompt: Phone sex and cyber sex on longliveianto. Second one-shot in the verse of The Long Days and Nights of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones. Beta: None this time around.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. Just playing in their toy box for while. If I did, Jack and Ianto would really be living happily ever after.
Boredom: Hub Style
Rift activity had practically dropped off to zero and everyone was itching for something to happen. Anything at all. A non-hostile lost alien would be welcomed to break the monotony of the dull days.
Owen watched porn at his computer station until Jack came up behind him and informed him that his so-called favourite porn star was really a shape shifter from a planet of hermaphroditic humanoid cow-pigs.
"Hedi doesn't cause any problems so we just let her stay. Plus, no human is that flexible. Except maybe Ianto." Jack said with a wild smirk.
"That just ruins it. Thanks for nothing, Jack," Owen whined as he closed out the browser. It was one of those things you wished you could unhear, but the damage was already done. He was turned off from porn for good, which was a shame. At least in Owen's mind.
"Glad I could help," Jack grinned and slapped Owen's back. "I'll be in my office if you need me to ruin anything else." The team leader bound up the stairs to his office, looking for a distraction. Maybe Ianto would follow soon and they could easily erase the boredom together.
Owen growled in frustration after Jack disappeared and turned an icy glare to Ianto. "You need to do something about him. A bored Jack is trouble for all of us. Entertain him. I'll buy you two cases of that expensive beer you like." Bribery was not beneath him.
Ianto rolled his eyes at Owen. He was temped to ignore Jack because as much as he loved the man, Jack was beyond incorrigible when he was bored. The annoyed archivist was about to put in some face time at the visitor's centre when his computer dinged.
Captain007: What are you wearing?
TwistedTeaBoy: Is this a joke?
Captain007: No. Answer the question.
TwistedTeaBoy: We came in together this morning. I'm wearing the same thing I was when we left home.
Captain007: Come on don't be Cranky!Ianto.
TwistedTeaBoy: You did not just say that. I'm not cranky. I don't see the point in silly questions.
Captain007: What is silly about it?
TwistedTeaBoy: You can look outside your office and see for yourself in case your old brain forgot. You've only been in your office a few moments.
Captain007: Does that mean you are wearing nothing and your perfectly shaped arse is ripe for squeezing?
TwistedTeaBoy: No. *rolls eyes* Gwen and Tosh are here and Owen is complaining about the Great Porn Destruction. Seriously, shape-shifting hermaphroditic humanoid cow-pigs? How daft is he?
Captain007: I'm serious. Don't roll your eyes at me. You know how that turns me on.
TwistedTeaBoy: I highly doubt it. That's bizarre even for Torchwood. Is there anything I do that doesn't turn you on?
Captain007: I'm hurt that you think I'm always horny.
TwistedTeaBoy: Do I need to remind you that our shower made us almost an hour late this morning?
Captain007: No. I clearly remember all those vivid details. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you were the one initiated it. I was innocent Ole' Jack.
TwistedTeaBoy: Innocent this time.
Captain007: Do you want to know what I'm thinking?
TwistedTeaBoy: I have a feeling that you are going to tell me anyway. Owen is looking over at me, thinking I'm actually working. He's calling me teacher's pet.
Captain007: Well, there was that one time with the leash. I'm imagining your cock in my mouth, sucking it. My hands fondling your balls, waiting for your arse cheeks to clench when you're about to come. Close your eyes and imagine it. My warm wet mouth around you. Your fingers tangled in my hair. Your eyes closed and your head titled back, moaning my name like I'm a god. Jackkkkkkkkk. Oh, Jackkkkkkk.
Ianto groaned as he read the message, his knees hitting the top of the table. The crotch of his trousers, feeling very tight at the moment. Damn you Jack 'I'm too sexy' Harkness.
Captain007: I saw that, Jones. Why don't you come up here so we can address your growing problem. I bet you will soon beg me to sweep you off your feet and do very naughty things to that heavenly body of yours.
TwistedTeaBoy: Or I can take care of myself right here. I'm sitting just right so no one can see, not even you on CCTV.
Captain007: You wouldn't. That's not fair.
TwistedTeaBoy: Just you watch. Oh, wait, you can't. There is something exciting about doing this in front of everyone. I'm so hard Jack and it's all because of you. With every stroke I imagine the look on your face, knowing you aren't allowed to touch. How does that make you feel? How hard are you? I wonder which one of us will finish first.
"What the hell was that?" Gwen jumped as she heard a crash from Jack's office. She exchanged worried looks with Tosh and Owen. When she looked at Ianto, the immortal man was smirking. The rest of the team exchanged silent groans, not wanting to think what trouble the couple was up to.
TwistedTeaBoy: Does someone need a spanking for making a mess? I can see it now. You bent over your desk and I hit you with my hand over and over. Your arse red and raw, sore but begging for more. Just when you are crying out for one more hit, I'll deny your request. Then my fingers will trace over the reddened skin with feather light touches, teasing you. My tongue flicks your ear lobe before my mouth slowly moves to your neck where I leave my mark. By then you will be begging me to take you. Your knees are trembling because you are so close to the edge, but you need one more thing to push you over. Then I'll take my rock hard...
Ianto took a break from typing (deliberately leaving his last message hanging) to get himself a cup of coffee, knowing it will rile Jack up more than he is already. He looked towards his lover's office to see his reaction, if there was one to be hand. And there was.
Jack appeared at the window of his office, his face tense with a hint of longing. Clearly he was not happy at where Ianto left his last message and the sly smirk and eyebrow raise Ianto gave pushed Jack over the edge. His hand slapped against the glass, startling everyone.
"IANTO! MY OFFICE NOW!" Jack ordered.
"Lunch?" Owen asked the women, knowing that once Ianto went to Jack's office none of them wanted to be anywhere near the show that was about to unfold.
Gwen and Tosh grabbed their purses and raced out the door, closely followed by Owen.
"Is there something you wanted, sir?" Ianto had taken his time walking up to Jack's office, still slowly sipping his coffee. A bemused smirk crossed his face seeing that Jack had his trousers and boxers around his ankles, sporting a full erection.
"So not funny to leave me like this," Jack whimpered.
"Can you ever forgive me?" Ianto asked playfully, setting his mug down and sauntering over to his other half. "Can you?" he asked again, this time his lips barely an inch away from Jack's.
"Depends on what you can do for..." Jack lost his train of thought when Ianto's soft hands came in contact with his hard member.
Their lips fused together and soon began to play out their words from the instant messages. And were still at it when, unbeknownst to them, the trio returned from lunch two hours later.
