Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli and Isles
Maura isles never believed in love at sight. It seemed like a literary over dramatized phenomenon. After just a little research on the topic, Maura concluded that what people experienced at first sight wasn't exactly love. It was simply a strange feeling of contentment upon laying your eyes on someone pleasurable to look at. What made it seem like love was the bizarre realization that the person you were looking at was feeling it to. So it seemed people were quick to call it love. This connection – according to her research – was said to occur to people who were experiencing a lack of some component in their lives.
As Maura saw it, she wasn't lacking anything. She had a beautiful girlfriend, and a satisfying career. And anyone who would have before yesterday told her about love at first sight would have just been brushed away. But today, the Friday after Thanksgiving, Maura was doubting her intelligence greatly. For whatever reason, the whole concept was starting to make sense. It was like the story about religion. The belief lies on your own understanding, and feelings, and experiences. A person can't just read about religion and all of a sudden truly believe it. Even if they conduct their research, only first-hand experience can solidify the belief.
When religious people talk about '…and the Lord spoke to me'. Or when they go off speaking in tongues or reading and understanding the parables they have in the bible, it comes off laughable to some people who don't believe. But those people hold on to their beliefs, and they pray to the Lord all the time because it works for them. Because they have witnessed first-hand the miracles God has done for them. So it makes sense. To someone who has nothing to draw from, it means absolutely nothing.
Maura Isles had witnessed first-hand the truth in love at first sight. And to anyone else, it may have been laughable or silly, but not to her and not to Jane. It was an intense and overwhelming situation. That she'd talked to Jane on skype before meant nothing after she laid eyes on her in the flesh. She hadn't planned it, hadn't in her wildest dreams imagined it.
All that talk about getting to know each other and eventually falling in love was a sad joke to Maura. The idea that feelings had to develop and that attraction wasn't really falling in love but just maybe infatuation wanted to make Maura spit in someone's face.
''So, is there anything you wanna do in particular?'', Jane shyly asked the blonde. Rosario had to go into work for a few hours on the Friday after thanksgiving, leaving Jane and Maura to their own devices for that time.
''Not in particular. It's rather cold, do you mind staying in?''. They were at Roe's place, where Jane had arrived as soon as her friend left.
''You do have a point…'', there should have been a but in there somewhere, but it never made it out.
''There are however, other indoor places we can be other than here'', the blonde mentioned suggestively. Happy that Maura had caught on to her trepidation, Jane happily made a suggestion.
''We could go to my place and watche some movies if you like''. The last thing Jane wanted was to be under her friends roof ogling said friends girlfriend. It just felt weird, on par with sleeping with someone on their matrimonial bed, according to Jane.
''That would be nice. Let me just dress up''
''You are dressed up'', Jane said. Maura was in a knee length skirt and a sweater, the brunette couldn't understand what had to be changed.
''I just threw this on after showering Jane, it wouldn't be appropriate to visit your home in such a state''
''Please'', Jane stopped her by grabbing hold of her arm, ''I deem your state of dress appropriate for my place. Just come like that, you look wonderful''. Maura blushed, casting her eyes downwards and finally taking notice of her hand in Jane's. It was like one of those times on cartoons when the character starts running but they remain in one place with their legs going round and round for a while, before they actually start moving. Maura's was still going around in the one place, but finally she started moving – internally that is. She looked back at Jane, and the fire she was met with in the brunettes eye almost burned her to ashes. She felt like she was melting little by little.
''Okay'', she whispered. And then Jane let go of her hand.
Maura was excited to see Jane's place. In her experience, a person's dwelling told many stories about them. The previous day (Thanksgiving dinner) had been a disappointment to Maura. Truth is, if she hadn't felt how she felt about Jane, the day would have been wonderful – one of her best even. She was in the company of her loving girlfriend and surrounded by a family that loved and welcomed her. It wasn't something that normally happened to Maura Isles, and she should have been happy. But the day was a disaster. She had met Jane, and everything had changed since then. From the time they arrived, everybody had been vying for her attention, and Maura couldn't very well ignore them. The object of her attraction – Jane – was lost in the midst of all the people, and Maura barely saw her.
Throughout the evening, they had stolen glances at each other. Each glance more intense than the previous one. Maura wondered what the brunette was thinking when she was looking at Maura without her knowledge, for she knew that when they were looking at each other, no thinking was involved.
Maura wanted to just pause the whole evening, so she could have just five minutes alone with Jane to just be. She hadn't even got the chance to have an uninterrupted exchange with the brunette to get to…..she didn't even know what she hoped to achieve by getting that private time. And before she knew it, her girlfriend was bidding everyone good bye – apparently she had agreed to the suggestion of leaving. She didn't know why, when all she wanted was to stay and be anywhere near Jane.
...
''Here we are'', Jane opened the door and let Maura in first. Jo Friday came trotting up to the visitor.
''Oh you have a dog!'', Maura knelt down to pat the little terrier.
''Yeah, she's girl in my life'', Jane laughed, and stopped the exact second she realized what she'd said. ''I meant…you know'', she shrugged.
Maura stood up and faced Jane. She decided to take that moment to ask Jane the question she had. ''Are you a lesbian Jane?'', came the blunt question. Rosario had told her Jane was straight, and everyone else at the Thanksgiving dinner had affirmed that by brief comments about a Gabriel Dean and a Casey Jones.
Jane gulped loudly, staring at Maura like a deer caught in the headlight. Her obvious and default answer to that question had always been a straight up no. She didn't even have to think about it. But when the question came from Maura, it seemed like an entirely different inquiry altogether. She wanted to say no, but in light of the situation it was going to sound downright stupid. And by situation I mean her poorly concealed attraction to Maura.
''I've never been with a woman before'', that was the most honest thing Jane had ever remembered saying in a LONG time. Saying she was gay, or denying it was going to be a lie. She was still figuring that out. But telling Maura she had never been with a woman was telling the truth, and if Maura was as smarted as she appeared to be, Jane hoped she'd read between the line.
''Why is that?'', Maura asked curiously. Did she really not know the gay vibes she gave off?, Maura asked herself.
''Would you like a hot chocolate, or some coffee or something?'', Jane took off on a tangent.
Maura just smiled, seeing how uncomfortable Jane was getting. ''I'll have whatever you are having''
''Okay, give me a minute''
''Can I look around?'', Maura asked already tapping her fingers on Jane's mantel piece.
''Of course, go ahead. I would have offered to show you around but other than my bedroom and the bathroom this is it''
As Jane made hot chocolate, Maura studied the baseball memorabilia that was part of Jane's possessions. She came to the conclusion that the woman loved sport, just like Rosario. On the walls were some frames of football and baseball teams. The brunette had a small stack of book, which indicated that she wasn't much of a reader. The general messiness told Maura the woman wasn't big on neatness and was very laid back. Nothing in Jane's apartment looked incredibly pricey except for her piano. Every space looked used and touched, like Jane had exactly enough room for herself and her things. It was very interesting to Maura, when compared to the way she had lived all her life. Even now, she could think of places in her house she'd never touched since first moving in. If it hadn't been for her cleaner, the place would have been gathering dust in some areas.
''Do you play often'', Maura ran one digit over the white piano notes.
''Not anymore really'', Jane came into the room with two mugs of hot chocolate in hand.
''Why's that''
Jane debated whether to tell her the truth or not. It's not like she had a choice, every time Maura asked her a question she couldn't help but tell the truth. ''I used to play a lot, in fact, I composed a few of my own…forget it'', Jane caught herself before saying too much.
''Why did you stop?'', Maura persisted, sipping on her hot beverage and standing by the piano.
''I had no one to play to okay'', Jane answered a little too roughly. ''I'm sorry'', came an apology.
''It's okay. I should learn to tone down my persistence''
''It's just that….'', Jane sighed and walked over to Maura by the piano. ''It's nice when you make solo compositions knowing you have someone to play them to at some point. I had a few, but I eventually stopped playing because there was no one to play them to'', Jane looked longingly at her piano keys that hadn't been touched by her fingers in over two years. ''My ex-boyfriends…none of them were interested''
''What about your family, or friends?''
''The cords and songs aren't really the type you would play for someone you weren't…you know…with''
''I don't understand'', Maura tilted her hand cutely to the side.
''They are meant for a lover Maura'', Jane said exasperatedly.
''Oh'', comprehension finally dawned on the blonde.
''So that's why I don't play anymore''
''I'm sorry'', Maura offered needlessly.
''It's not your fault''.
The blonde ran her fingers gently over the keys again. How she wished she could ask Jane to play for her. Jane watched her, mesmerized by how a single individual could be so breathtakingly beautiful. They lapsed into a silence, each lost in their own thoughts. When Maura looked up, it was to find Jane staring at her, no, through her. If Jane felt any shame, she might have averted her gaze that second, but she couldn't. She felt drawn to Maura. The doctor couldn't understand how, but they found themselves taking a step towards each other at the same time. A few inches separated them, just one step and they'd be flush against each other. A few seconds of increased intensity passed, in which they were sure they were going to share their first kiss – but then Maura's phone rang. She almost dropped her mug at the sound, and managed to spill some of the brown liquid on her beige cashmere sweater.
''I'm sorry, lemme…'', Jane rushed to take the mug and placed it on top of her piano. Without even thinking, she hurriedly pulled of her unzipped sweater and began padding it on Maura's bosom. The phone was still chiming away, long forgotten by the owner when Jane stepped into her personal space – toe to toe – and the only thing separating her breasts from Jane's hand was the large material in the brunette's hand.
''I'm sorry'', Jane said again when she realised what she was doing. ''I'd mean to…it's just that your sweater…it's…'', Jane stammered like a criminal called out on their wrong doings unsuspectingly.
''It's okay'', Maura blushed. ''I do like this sweater''
''You can take it off'', Jane's own eyes widened at her words. ''I mean, you can let me throw it in the washer before it stains permanently''. She wanted the ground beneath her to open up and swallow her whole. Pull yourself together, came her inside voice.
''You don't have to wash it Jane, thank you. But maybe for the sake of comfort I could ask you for something else warm to change into''
''Yes, I can give you that'', Jane said happily. Relieved that she could at least make herself useful in a way. ''Let me get you something'', Jane ran into her bedroom. She wanted to take a minute to get on her knees to thank the gods above for their mercy. It was just last weekend that her mother had dragged her into joining her and Lydia for shopping. She had whined like a toddler that whole time but came out of the mall with two decent looking sweaters. So now she at least had something new and decent to give Maura - never mind the size.
''Here'', she said triumphantly as she exited her bedroom holding forward the garment. ''I hope it fits, you know'', she gestured vaguely to Maura breasts and shorter arms.
''Thank you Jane. I'm sure it will be fine. This is quite embarrassing, I never spoiled my clothes even as a child'', Maura kept her eyes down cast.
''Its okay. Do you prefer to use the bathroom or the bedroom?''
''I could just use your room, if you don't mind''
''Not at all'', Jane pointed to it. Maura could easily have used the bathroom, but she was dying to learn more about Jane. And a visit to her bedroom would be an excellent opportunity. She walked in and quietly closed the door, seeing Jane looking at her intently. In Jane's room, Maura got the shock of her life. The brunette's bed was messy and had a few clothes thrown on it. On the floor were shoes and bits and pieces of all sorts of things. She had a simple dresser with a mirror and stool that matched the bed frame. On the dresser were very few products, indicating that the brunette didn't care much about make-up and all that stuff. Not that she had to worry, Jane had what they call 'natural beauty'. One of her closet doors was open and Maura could make out a selection of identical black dress pants and jackets, and a few protruding long and short sleeved shirts. It was funny, because her own closet made up about two-thirds of Jane's entire room. She was dealing with a simple woman – on the outside. The inside was a completely different ball game.
Remembering why she was in there in the first place, Maura began to take of her wet sweater. It was then that she heard the shrill of her mobile phone once again. She'd completely forgotten what caused all of this.
''Uhhh, Maura'', Jane called cautiously from the other side of the door.
''Could you please bring it'', Maura said as she also walked towards the door.
Before she even got to her third step, the door was opening. And there Jane was, face to face with a bra-clad Maura. Could this get any worse…or better, she asked herself.
''I thought uhhh'', she faltered when her eyes fell on Maura's breasts again. ''I'll just…'', and the phone stopped ringing again – in Jane's hand this time.
Maura watched the detective's shaky hand bringing the device towards her. The blonde took two more steps and she was right in front of Jane once again, looking up into those soulful brown eyes. God, she was beautiful. Maura could feel the loud beating of her heart, and the goose bumps erupting from her unclothed state. It didn't matter though, the heat boiling inside her was enough to warm her for days to come.
And then that pull was back again, with a vengeful force. But just like before, the phone rang again.
''Hello'', Maura answered a little bitterly into the device. She didn't even bother to check who it was.
''Hey baby. I've been trying you for a while, is everything okay'', Rosario worried.
''Oh, hi Rosario. Sorry, I couldn't get to the phone in time'', it wasn't a lie, because she couldn't lie. Maura really couldn't get to it in time, because by the time she finished having eye-sex with Jane is was too late. She turned away from Jane at that point. It was too weird talking to your girlfriend on the phone while being stared at by her friend, while standing in her bedroom topless.
''It's fine, I didn't mean to bother you. I just saw some ticket online for a musical tonight that I thought I could get for us. So I wanted to know if you'd like that''
''That sounds wonderful'', she lowered her voice. Out of Jane's line of vision, she was beginning to feel cold. She took Jane's sweater and made a sloppy attempt to just cover herself a little.
''Great, can you ask Jane if she wants to come too''
Oh boy, Maura thought.
''Jane'', she called out cautiously. The brunette appeared almost immediately. ''Rosario wants to know if you'd like to go to the theatre for a musical tonight?''
''Don't let me disturb you, you can go without me''
''I'm bringing a friend'', Roe called out to Maura as she heard Jane's reply.
''I'm not being set-up on a date again Roe. No'', Jane stated.
After a beat, ''Okay, four tickets purchased. See you later guys''
''Roe'', Jane whined. She hated being set up on those stupid dates with those stupid guys. And it made it worse now that Maura was going to be around for this.
''See you later then. Oh'', Maura remembered. ''We are at Jane's apartment''.
''Sure, I'll come pick you guys up there. I'll be done here at four. Love you baby''
Maura swallowed, ''Love you too''. The line went dead. They stayed in silence for a bit. Jane standing beside Maura who was sitting on her bed, holding firmly to the sweater.
''This is going to suck'', Jane said and walked away.
When Maura was dressed, she walked out of Jane's bedroom.
''Do you mind answering my question from earlier on?'', Maura asked. Jane was slumped on her couch looking miserable as ever.
''Which one'', she remained staring at the switched off television in front of her.
''Why you have never dated a woman before''
''I never met a woman I wanted to be with before'', came the honest answer once again. But Maura didn't miss the way Jane said 'before'. As if to imply that she had now.
''If you do find a woman you are attracted to, would you be against starting a homosexual relationship?''
''Please don't put it like that'', Jane laughed despite herself. ''It makes it sound so…unsexy''
''How should I phrase it then?'', Maura asked curiously.
''I don't know. Just…don't phrase it at all'', they both laughed.
….
''What do you normally like to watch?'', Jane channel surfed trying to find a movie that could interest both of them.
''Documentaries or romance'', came the immediate answer. Maura enjoyed those two categories for the opposite reasons. Documentaries were plausible and educational. They were worth watching and she always got something at the end. Romance movies were very impractical and inaccurate. It was a bunch of fiction and left her with nothing at all – a complete waste of time to be precise. But that was her guilty pleasure. She didn't like monsters and action figures – the likes of Iron man, or Elysium. So romance was her action and her escape.
''Hmm'', Jane huffed. ''Two of the genres I don't watch''
''We could always watch anything you like'', Maura offered. She was used to it anyway. Rosario, or her previous lovers for that matter, didn't enjoy documentaries or romantic movies.
''It's okay. I'll find a romantic movie though, I don't think I can make it through a documentary''
Maura was surprised; no one really cared to indulge her that way. Jane sure was something.
''Right, the best I have seen so far is 'Raising Helen''', she referred to the films on the t.v guide. ''I don't even know if that's a romantic comedy'', Jane pressed the 'info' button so they could ready what the movie was about.
''I wouldn't mind watching that'', Maura said.
''Raising Helen it is'', Jane pressed the button to go to the channel. The movie would be starting in ten minutes so Jane made a move to get comfortable. It was dreary outside because of the cold weather. And the thick dark grey clouds just made it all the more dark. Jane pulled her blinds down – there was no need to have open anyway. She put one of the dull kitchen lights on, just for a bit of illumination. The ambiance was romantic before Jane even knew it. It was too late to do anything about it anyway, not that she wanted to.
''What would you like to munch on'', Jane asked from the kitchen. She had thrown in some popcorn in the microwave and was getting some cheese puffs to mix with them.
''I wouldn't mind another hot chocolate, I'm rather cold''
Jane made the beverage with great enthusiasm – anything to make Maura happy. She then mixed up her popcorn and puffs and took the large bowl to the living room, before bringing two hot chocolates again. She took a bigger blanket from her room and brought it to the couch before settling down. It was twelve exactly when the movie began.
They both sat leaning against opposite arm rests, with their legs in the middle. The little space between them didn't allow for their legs not to touch. On top of the blanket sat the bowl of puffs they shared, as their mugs rested on the table Jane had pulled against the sofa.
''Oh boy, not these modelling people again'', Jane started her commentary when the movie began.
About seven minutes later, they were now at a party of one of the sister's who had three children. ''That's a lot of kids. Can you imagine having all those?'', Jane asked Maura.
''Well I don't know really. I can't say they are a lot in a way, your mother had three''
''And that's why she's crazy'', they both laughed. ''I don't wanna end up like her''
''Don't say that. She's a wonderful woman Jane''
''PLEASE don't tell her that'', Jane begged.
And then fourteen minutes later, the sister who was having a birthday party died. ''Oh this is going to be sad. I don't feel like crying Maura'',
The movie went on and on, and Jane didn't close her mouth for more than five minutes. ''Do you always speak this much during movies?'', Maura eventually asked.
''So you think I talk too much'', Jane smiled at the blushing blonde.
''Only since the movie began, yes''
''I'm surprised it took you this long to tell me. People who know me usually don't like to watch movies with me. And besides, I normally watch sport, which involves lots of shouting''
''I can understand now''
So they watched the rest of the movie, Jane talking incessantly and Maura laughing out loud. Jane loved that most of all. The blonds dimples showed and boy was she beautiful. They caught each other staring occasionally, and held each others gazes for long moments. The ambiance was so perfect, they seemed to lose themselves in and stay in the bubble they had created that afternoon.
They didn't movie when the movie was over, Jane answered some of Maura's questions about what she normally did during her time off and what she would have been doing if Maura wasn't there. Somewhere along the line, their legs entwined together under the blanket. And because of minor cramps, they ended up both stretching their legs out.
Jane picked up the foot that rested beside her hip and ran her finger over the Ralph Lauren logo. ''Do you have to wear designer socks?''
''No, I don't have to''. And that was all Maura had to offer. Jane was starting to forget how weird the woman was – clouded by her new found attraction to her.
''I mean, is it necessary?'', Jane was now holding the foot on her thigh, drawing lazy circles around the top.
''That's all I've really know Jane – designer clothes. It's not who I am, its what I wear. If that is what you were referring to''
''I guess it is, sorry. I don't even know where that came from''. Jane knew. It came from the subconscious part of her brain that was telling her not to get too lost in Maura's eyes because she couldn't have her – for more reasons other than that she was with her friend.
''It doesn't matter. I have asked you a lot of personal questions, I think it is only fair that you ask the same too''
And just like that, their little bubble burst. They hadn't even noticed that it was now 5:30pm. Rosario was supposed to have arrived and hour ago. Maura's phone was now ringing, and the name Rosario shone clearly. Guiltily, she picked up the ringing device from the table.
''Hello''
''I am SO sorry I'm running late. The show starts in an hour across town. Do you think you could get ready so I won't have to come up?'' the woman spoke quickly into the phone. Maura felt bad that her girlfriend was apologizing, yet she hadn't even realized the woman was even late.
''We'll see you in a short while then''
Sadly, they got themselves ready. And in fifteen minutes, Rosario was calling them from downstairs.
