Chapter 2: Stimpy's job Offering

Stimpy woke up the next morning to find Ren still asleep. "Oop! Don't wanna wake the little angel." He kissed Ren's cheek and tiptoed away. He went into the kitchen and poured himself a bowl of cereal. "Oh, joy! My favorite cereal! Sugar Frosted Dextrose!" He started jumping up and down like an excited little child. "I wanna get the prize! He poured all the cereal into his mouth, making charming gargling noises. He started choking. He reached around and got a random light bulb over his head as he pulled a vibrant pink wristband. "Oh, joy! A crappy, trifling wristband with Finding Nemo characters on it!" He had a look on his face as if he were a genius who just made a HUGE accomplishment. "It was totally worth it," He explained. As he put all of the dispersed cereal back into his mouth, he looked at the back of the box. His eyes grew wide when he saw a help wanted sign on the box, which I don't know is possible anymore, as it's no longer the forties. "EUREKA!" He grinned. "Ren and I can get jobs at the cereal factory together! Yes! And we'll have the exact same shifts! Duh, I will wake Ren up right now!" He ran into the bedroom and literally was carrying a half-asleep Ren in green footsie pajamas over his head. "C'mon, honey! An interview at an artificial cereal factory awaits us!"

"O…kay," He slurred with pure exhaustion, not at all aware of the situation do to his fatigue.

The two sat in chairs in front of a dark desk. Stimpy, looking bubbly and eager as ever wore a black jacket and red tie to look fancy for his big day. Ren was still in his green footsie pajamas, still not the least bit conscious. That announcer guy who sold Salve and pushed Stimpy into pressing the History Eraser Button… literally was behind the desk. "So, you think you've got what it takes to work in this man's country?"

"Yes," Stimpy answered with the young glee of a very happy five year old. Ren just made a gargling noise. "Uh… Ren's a little nervous," He explained. The man nodded, understanding. "Have you or your demented friend here ever thrown up in someone's hat?"

"Well, yes, but what does that have to do with working in a cereal factory?"

"Shall we continue?"

"Well, uh-"

"Have you ever done the polka with your grandma?"

"Huh?"

"Moving on. Had sex on a trampoline?"

"What?"

"We're making great progress! Masturbated behind a cactus?"

"I don't understand this a all!" Stimpy cried, pulling on his ears. The man's face fell serious. He grabbed Stimpy by the collar of his shirt. "Have you ever killed a man? Beaten a hooker?"

"Heavens, no! And what's a hooker?" The man got happy and frantically shook Ren and Stimpy's hands. "Then this is then place for you! Now go away! See you tomorrow at seven a.m. sharp!" He pushed them out the door. Stimpy was unbelievably confused. "But- I don't underst-"

"Bye!"

A/N: Well, the next chapter's when things start to get interesting. See you then!