A/N Twilight and its characters are still not mine, worst luck.
Thank you to those of you who marked this as a favourite story – you can't imagine how thrilled I was to see that! And to those who reviewed, thank you again for taking the time to do so.
She turned back to her father. Charlie was looking at her, with tears in his eyes that he was trying very hard to pretend were not there.
"So, you didn't leave because you didn't like it here with me?" His voice was very quiet and choked sounding, his eyes pleading.
"Oh Dad, no I didn't. I'm so sorry I said what I did. I just couldn't think of anything else that would work. You would have tried to stop me going, and I couldn't tell you the truth. Nothing else would have made you let me go. Nothing I could think of in the time we had anyway. And I had to leave Dad. I had to go, I would have been killed if I'd stayed. And I couldn't let Ja...I couldn't put you in danger as well. I love you."
Charlie awkwardly reached out to her and slung an arm around her waist, hugging her to him. Bella very hastily held her breath, but squeezed him back, very gently, before pulling away.
"Can I ask you one more question?" he was frowning as he asked.
"Sure Dad, though I can't promise to answer! I'll tell you whatever I can."
Charlie seemed pretty hesitant, but determined all the same, and Bella thought she knew what was coming...
"Since it seems like so much of what you told me was not the truth...Why did Edward leave?"
Bella caught her breath. Yep, that's what I figured he'd ask alright. It still made her catch her breath to think about that time. She heard a pained intake of breath from the house, and knew Edward was listening. It made her feel better, somehow. He was always with her now. She would never be alone like that again.
Bella knew that this one act, Edward's leaving her, was the one thing that Charlie found hardest to understand. It made it difficult for him to trust Edward's actions regarding her.
"Oh Dad. I can't tell you everything that I wish I could. You'll have to deal with a partial explanation, ok?"
Charlie rested his hands on his knees, looking out over the yard and into the woods. He didn't like it, Bella could tell, but he'd have to accept it.
"OK. Just don't lie to me, please. If you can't say something tell me you can't, then move on to next bit, ok?"
"Yes. Yes I will. Here goes, as much as I can tell you.
I came here to Edward's for my 18th birthday, do you remember that? Alice had put together a party, even though I'd asked her not to. But it was just family." She stopped, smiling as she remembered how she felt about the Cullens.
"Even then I thought of them as my family you know. I loved all of them. Carlisle and Esme were my second parents, Alice, Emmett and Jasper and even Rosalie were my brothers and sisters. And they were coming around to feeling the same way – Alice, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme already did I think. Rosalie and I – well, we still were working on it, and Jasper was still a little wary, but I knew he was still fond of me."
"You certainly spent enough time over here," Charlie chuckled.
"Yeah. I guess I did. Well. The birthday party was going well, when something happened – this is the bit I can't explain to you. But I was in danger again. I will never believe that the danger was as bad as Edward, Rosalie and Jasper and even Carlisle and Esme believed. They believe even now that I was nearly killed, and they believe it was their fault. Edward particularly took that blame on himself.
He decided that night that he couldn't risk my life by having himself and his family stay close to me. It took him some time to work up to it – they didn't leave that night as you'll recall. But leave they did."
Bella knew her face still revealed her hurt, and she looked away, not wanting to give Charlie any more reason to dislike Edward. She took a deep breath, and cursed herself silently as Charlie's delicious scent caused her throat to burn stronger than before. Mind over matter, she told herself. Ignore it.
"He decided that I would be safer if he left me to live my life without him, no matter how much he hurt us both by leaving. He believed that in time I would get over him – I was still so young; he thought I could grieve and then move on. And he thought he would be strong enough to let me."
The two sat listening to the breeze in the trees for a bit. Charlie giving her a space to explain something he knew was hard for her, waiting for her to finish. Bella was grateful for his understanding, and reached out to touch his hand in thanks before continuing. He no longer pulled away from her cold touch, knowing to expect it.
"He felt that if he just left me thinking he still loved me, that I would hang on to my love and wait for him, and he didn't want that for me. He wanted me to move on and have a happy life, even if he knew he could never do the same. He convinced his family it was for the best, that we came from different worlds and it was safer for me if I was not continually dragged into his."
Bella paused. Then she snorted forcefully. "He was an idiot!"
"He thought he was doing that for your own good?" Charlie sounded disbelieving.
"Yeah Dad, he did. And if you knew the full truth at the time, before you saw how I took his leaving me and fell apart, you'd have probably agreed with him. Most people would."
"You didn't fall apart, you practically died inside. There wasn't anything of my Bella left. I would never have agreed to anything that would do that." Charlie was outraged at the very thought of him agreeing to that.
"Yes, but Dad, neither you nor Edward would have predicted I'd react that way – be honest. Teenage relationships break up all the time and they don't cause that level of grief. Can you honestly tell me that you would have known I would react that way?" Bella spoke calmly as she reasoned with him.
Charlie sat stiffly, refusing to answer.
"Yeah. That's what I thought Dad. Of course you couldn't. Can you blame Edward and Esme and Carlisle for thinking I would get over it?"
She absently watched a bug crawling on the log next to her, wondering if life was as simple for it as it looked to be, or if bugs had dramatic love lives too... She pursed her lips thoughtfully.
"Edward should have known better. He knew how much I loved him, and his family. When he left I lost not just him but my whole future family. A way of life I had decided on, that I wanted so badly. That he and they decided was best if I was denied. It more than hurt. It left me empty. But I understand why they thought that way, and I forgive them. I forgave them the day they left. And I always loved them." She vaguely registered a whimpering sound coming from the house. Esme was obviously listening to her conversation with Charlie. They probably all were. It was impossible to keep things private in a houseful of vampires. There was no point in trying. She imagined Edward had his pained face on, pinching the bridge of his nose again.
"If it was so much for your own good, why did they come back? Answer me that." Charlie thought he'd caught her in a lie. Or at least caught the Cullens in a lie.
"Hmm. I suppose I can tell you this bit, if you keep it to yourself." She heard a murmur of agreement from Alice's room upstairs.
"It doesn't really have anything to do with the big secret. Some of the Cullens have ... abilities I suppose you'd call them, abilities that most people don't have. Alice... well I suppose you'd call her psychic. She sees things sometimes that actually happen. But she can never see the werewolves." Bella slowed, trying to organise her thoughts, wondering just how much she should tell Charlie.
"That day I went to La Push and decided to try cliff diving...she saw me jump. And she saw me disappear under the waves in the approaching storm. She didn't see me come back up – because Jake had dragged me out, and she can't see Jake. She thought I was dead. Actually she thought I'd killed myself, and she was heartbroken and terribly worried about you and how you would take it. She came back to see what she could do to help you. The others – except for Edward, he wasn't with his family at the time - knew what she'd seen but thought it best for you if they stayed away."
"When she found me alive she was rather surprised to say the least." The little she had been watching while they talked continued to crawl up the log. On reaching the end it spread its wings and flew off. Bella watched it until it disappeared into the trees, silently wishing it well. She turned back to Charlie, waiting to hear his next question. He'd have one, she was sure.
"That explains why Alice came back, but not why you went haring off for three days." Charlie still wanted to know more, she was right. He wasn't convinced that Edward deserved to be back in her life.
"Rosalie thought that Edward deserved to know that I'd died. She knew he still loved me, and figured that if he knew the truth that he'd be able to work past it and come home to the family. Edward didn't take us being apart very well you see. It may have been his idea, but he was as miserable as I was.
Anyway, Rosalie rang him and told him. He called our house to make sure it was true. He couldn't believe that after his leaving me to protect me that I would have died anyway. That it had all been for nothing." Her voice turned pensive. Charlie just sat patiently waiting, picking at the bark on the log beside him.
"Jake answered the phone, Edward asked for you, and Jake told him that you weren't there, that you were at the funeral. What Edward didn't know is that you were at Harry's funeral. He thought Jake meant mine."
There was a rustling noise behind them, so slight that Charlie wouldn't have heard it. Bella knew who was behind her, she would recognise his scent anywhere.
A/N Last chapter in a day or two.
