Author's Intro/ Disclaimer: Same as before. Character aren't mine. Long live Jonathan Larson!


Something really interesting happened today. Really really interesting. I'm still totally confused. Collins kissed me. Yeah, I know, weird. It wasn't just out of the blue, but I still wasn't expecting it. I asked him why he hadn't attempted to start a new relationship with someone else. He said he couldn't do that to Angel and that he still loved him. I told him I thought it would be okay, and that Angel would want him to be happy. No Day But Today, right? He just wasn't sure. He claimed that he was really happy just having friends. But when I pointed out how much our numbers had dwindled in the past couple of years he realized I was right. He's in really great health, but he's still afraid that he would leave someone behind, break their heart. He didn't want to hurt anybody. So I told him he should try it out, and if it doesn't work out, just get out of it before it gets too serious. And then he kissed me. I didn't back away. Could that have been sending the wrong signal? I didn't know what to do. I've always been there for all my friends. It's kind of been my policy to always be there to help them through hard times. And they always know I'm here if they need me. I would have felt bad if denied him. I think he realized I was a tad uncomfortable, because it was a short kiss on the lips, and then he backed away, nothing more. We sat side by side for who knows how long, silent. Eventually I got up and so did Collins. It's been a little awkward tonight. He kept his head down whenever he walked by me. I hope he's not ashamed. I don't want him to be like that. I tried smiling at him to tell him it was okay, but I don't think he noticed. I think Joanne suspects something. She knows something is not right. I think I'm going to tell her. I'll keep you informed.

~ Mark