I don't own TVD if I did, Bonnie and Enzo would go on couples night dates with Cami & Marcel and Caroline & Tyler.

Recommended music: Baby Bash - Suga Suga ft. Frankie J

This is my first multi chapter fic! =)

This is for freckled98 & The Sushi Monster


Damon Salvatore liked to think of himself as a people person. He fancied himself as an exceptional problem solver. He was the one who could make difficult decisions simpler through murdering the complications.

Now he wasn't stupid. He knew he couldn't kill Enzo for two reasons one, he sort of kind of still owed him and two, Bonnie wouldn't forgive him.

For some inexplicable reason the beautiful, powerful, fiery witch wanted the useless cheesy Augustine lab rat.

He had vowed to wait for Bonnie and that was what he was doing. Damon had meditated hard and long, for roughly 2 hours. Until he heard Caroline and Stefan gossiping about the trouble in paradise for Bonenzo or rather Bozo as he liked to call their relationship.

While Bonnie had brutally and unequivocally rejected him, Damon knew the witch didn't mean it. Not really. It was just posturing from a place of hurt. Sooner or later she would come to her senses. Damon was a man of action. He was going to hurry the process thanks to the information he had gleaned from Stefan and Caroline's hushed conversation this morning.

Damon really honestly tried to stay away from Bonnie. But like a fly to a moth, something in her was just singing to him like a siren song. She was a flame and he was helplessly on a collision course. But no it wasn't destructive, it was uplifting. He smiled serenely at Enzo, his "rival's" idiocy.

Damon didn't consider Enzo an actual rival, hardly an obstacle, he was more like a footnote, a bump on the road. He was not hero material, he was a sidekick.

Damon was tempted to let Enzo ruin the relationship without any assistance. Smirking at Enzo's lack of experience in the romance department, Damon paused to reflect at how sad and pathetic both Bonnie and Enzo's love lives had been.

Maybe it was fate that brought Enzo and Bonne together? Were they drawn together for a purpose? Were they gravitating towards each other because they were a perfect match? Nah he shook his head, Damon had brought them together and he would tear them apart, if Enzo's stupidity didn't. Besides Damon was going to rock Bonnie's world and show her everything she'd missed out on.

Apparently Enzo was pretending to work for the Armoury whilst Davina or Freya or some witch with a French name supplying Bonnie with magic suppressing tea. It was all 100% organic and witch approved. Bonnie and Enzo were fighting over his suggestion for her to turn.

Now Damon was doing internal cartwheels, Bonnie would rather die than turn into a vampire. To turn into a vampire and spend eternity with that cheesy mother... no way Bonnie had higher standards than that.

Damon knew from experience there was no better way to sink your budding relationship with a human woman than to suggest that she turn into an undead blood sucker. Especially a Bennett witch, whose own mother had abandoned her after turning into one.

Thankfully Enzo was an idiot. Damon fully intended to use this rift between the lovers to his full advantage and do as the Sebastian from the little mermaid suggested, to kiss the girl.

Damon had no doubt in his mind that Bonnie would have forgiven him after that rooftop love confession. Or even if she hadn't she would love to bitch about Enzo with someone.


"So what's on your mind, Bonnie Bennett?" Caroline was asking pouring Bonnie a cup of tea.

"Enzo."

Damon made vomiting sounds.

"Damon! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be hiding in some coffin while the rest of us live in fear of Rayna Cruz?" Caroline asked in mock surprise.

"I thought I told you to stay away from me?" Bonnie yawned, behind her dainty delicate hand.

"I wanted to see what my favourite girl in the world was doing," Damon smiled at Bonnie. Pleased that she was yawning that meant she felt guilty about rejecting him and that she was regretting choosing the guitar playing chef.

"Uh… your favourite girl is in New York," Bonnie scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"You and I know that's not true anymore," Damon's voice lowered as his eyes smouldered.

Caroline's head snapped from Bonnie to Damon, eyes widening in horror.

"Am I missing something? Are you two? OMG I know Enzo's a pain in the you-know-what but how could you?" Caroline squeaked staring at Bonnie in shock.

"Please Care, have some faith in me. No matter how mad I am at Enzo I'd break it of before I started anything with anyone else. I'm not a Gilbert," Bonnie tilted her head and raised her eyebrow at Caroline.

"You have absolutely every right to be furious with Enzo," Damon supplied as soon as Bonnie stopped speaking, he was trying so hard to be respectful suppressing his urge to interrupt and talk over her. He had been reading some "how to respect women" articles.

Both women turned to Damon, Caroline with surprise, Bonnie with suspicion.

"I know how selfish he can be," Damon began.

Caroline looked thoughtful, Bonnie pursed her lips in annoyance, Enzo was a lot of things, selfish wasn't one of them. Loyal, romantic, respectful, caring, a good listener a musician she sighed he was also such an idiot.

Damon was staring at Bonnie dreamily as she prattled on about Enzo. It was a shame really, she could do so much better than him. He was encouraged by her long mournful sigh, she was so unhappy with the whiny useless Enzo who couldn't even plot his way out of a paper bag.

"What?" Damon asked asking his head when he realised Caroline and Bonnie were staring at him, he loved it when Bonnie's full attention. Now that he had it he would try not to lose it.

"What do you think Damon? You have some experience in the matter after all," Caroline wrung her hands anxiety clear in her face.

"He wasn't listening," Bonnie scoffed. "Why would he? It doesn't have to do with Elena nor does it benefit him in any way."

"I was too, and my answer is yes," Damon announced petulantly." Yes Bonnie I choose you and I would do anything to make you happy."

Bonnie clapped her hands together in glee, "Glad you proved me wrong. You are officially out of the dog house Damon."

Caroline looked worried as she chewed her lower lip viciously.

Damon wondered what he had gotten himself into, he wasn't worried. He would come out winning no matter what.


Damon swallowed bitterly as he watched Enzo check his reflection in the mirror.

"You look fine," Damon drawled with as much boredom as he could to mask his envy.

Caroline and Bonnie had somehow tricked him into offering the Salvatore Boarding house as a venue for Bonnie and Enzo's wedding. Apparently when Bonnie and Enzo fought, he like any good whipped boyfriend would agree to whatever Bonnie decided. She would not turn, he would become human and now they were getting married.

To add insult to injury, he was not even the best man. Damon cursed his bad luck how did one go from getting the girl to giving her away?