OK so here's chapter 2. I had a bunch more planned working up to the first time she hears Edward's voice. I even planned to have some from his point of view but this one was already becoming long. If you guys think the chapters can be longer let me know because I will definitely make them longer. So I'm still in a slight build-up towards the main events/plot-line so please stick with it because I guarantee an awesome plot and some epic twists. =)

Also the short in between bits where it's italics and underlined, it's the gist of her dreams. Rather than go into full detail the audience imagination is always much more creative.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters sadly. I wish I did because the movie cast would have looked different, I have 2 amazingly perfect people in mind!

Chapter 2

It was amazing how just saying those words felt. I felt slightly stronger, elated, I felt...hope. That is until I realized that it was almost impossible. Who was I kidding? Ed...he wasn't just some typical boyfriend, he was...everything! You can't just pick up where you left off after something that important goes missing. In fact, how can anyone expect you to?

I took another look at Charlie and Jacob out of the corner of my eye. Another time where I am so glad that Charlie isn't the chattiest person in the world. Mom would be all over me right now, trying to make me feel better and insulting...him...like there's no tomorrow. I saw Charlie watching me in the rearview mirror and just leaned into Jacob and shut my eyes. I couldn't stand to see that much worry on either of their faces. It was enough to drive all other thoughts from my mind. Also made me realize just how tired I was, and how warm Jacob was...

Next thing I know I'm in my room, on my bed. I do vaguely remember being carried up here. I sat up and looked at the clock, 3:13 a.m. Great, this better not become a regular thing, just what I need, irregular sleep. Maybe if I changed out of these clothes. Walking over to my closet made me realize just how stiff and uncomfortable my jeans were. I grabbed my pajamas and changed while walking back over to my bed, but tripped over something on the way there. A photo album.

I bent down to pick it up, do I really have the strength to do this now? Who am I kidding I have to know. I opened it finding what I expected. Didn't have to flip any farther than the first page. The only thing there was my handwriting across the bottom, Edward Cullen. Charlie's kitchen, Sept. 13th

I didn't know what was worse. My fear being realized or a small bit of hope I didn't know I had left being crushed. I didn't even need to check the CD player to know the lullaby was gone. There's thorough, then there's plain cruel. I can't believe he would go to such lengths? Did he really think this would make it any easier? When you're quitting smoking you still get nicotine patches, when you're quitting drugs you get weaned off slowly, how did he think completely cutting me off from him and his family would fare? Part of the whole problem with love is it's an addiction. Oh my god, am I seriously angry at him? I didn't think I could be! Problem is that it's so short-lived. The anger faded as soon as it started. I'm so in love with him I can't even hate him. Then again I predicted this. I always said it was crazy that he ever loved me, did I seriously think that this wouldn't happen? I was the lover and he was the beloved. All the effort and pain was justified by his face, his voice. I was in too deep to get out, I didn't even care to get out! I laid every part of myself open to be hurt when he left. Then again...

I remembered something then, something from a few months ago. I still can't believe I did this. I crawled over to my closet and pulled back all the clothes on the right side. There scratched into the wood was one of my secrets that my mental mute-ness had allowed me to have.

E & B 4ever

was scratched inside a heart on the walls. It was an incredibly small understatement compared to what we used to have, or so I had thought. I'd done that 3 months ago while Edward was hunting. Thanks god I'd acted on that childish whim, no matter how thorough he was he's never gone now. Now the question is, will I ever want him to be? Funny, vampire venom makes you feel like you're engulfed in flames. Ironic that he finally gave me this feeling, just not how he intended.

This thought was the last coherent one I had. One good thing can be said about my tears, they kept my mind from racing off onto even more dangerous tangents. That was the first of what was probably many nights to come with tears as my new lullaby.

Come and rescue me, I'm burning can't you see?Only you can set me free.

As the flames and the volume of my screams climbed higher, he watched and did nothing. The flames felt like caresses in comparison.

Well that was definitely the worst idea I've ever had. Sleeping in a closet. I gave my much-needed limbs a stretch and grabbed a set of clothes to change into. I noticed I'd slept in and now only had 20 minutes before school started. Crap! I ran into the bathroom and brushed my teeth while brushing my hair. No time for breakfast this morning. As I finished up in the bathroom, the glimpse I caught of my face in the mirror made me wish for once I was more skilled with make-up. My eyes looked like I'd had a severe allergic reaction. Maybe I shouldn't go to school, how will I last the whole day? Well, I have to try, for Charlie. I can always ditch and come home early, or...I don't know but something!

I raced downstairs and grabbed my keys but still wasn't fast enough for Charlie.

"Whoa, what's the rush Bells?"

"Dad, check the clock. I'm gonna be late!"

"Oh, didn't notice. So you're...going then?" Charlie asked tentatively. Crap, I really didn't want to deal with this question right now.

"Yes dad, what did you expect?" Not sure I want to hear the answer.

"Well, I mean, you guys were...and I heard, last night..." Great, he heard my new method of falling asleep last night. I could feel my eyes start to well up from Charlie's words. Even he thought Edward loved me too much to leave...I have to get out of here.

"Never mind, Bells. I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. Have...fun." The look on his face showing how horrible he felt for making me upset.

"It's fine dad, bye," I said while half out the door. The cab of my truck had never seemed more like a sanctuary. Charlie must have had one of his friends help him drive it back last night. He's always so considerate.

The drive to school was just as difficult as driving last night had been. By the time I reached the parking lot I wasn't sure I could make it into the school. So many memories and traces of him that would be inevitable, all guaranteed to happen throughout the day. But then I saw Charlie's face this morning, and Jacob's last night. I had to at least try, I had to attempt to pull myself together...literally. The worst thing about it was that the pain I was causing them should be a fraction of mine, yet judging by the look on their faces it was the same. The person I cared for more than anything in the world had broken me, but if I didn't at least try to carry on I would be doing the same thing to them. I could never inflict this pain I was feeling on others I cared about. That thought carrying me, I stepped out of the car and into the small red building in front of me.