That morning Kylewoke up in a sweat, feeling nervous and guiltily satisfied, and for a moment, he couldn't figure out why the hell that was. Then he felt an all too familiar substance gluing the fabric of his pajama bottoms to his thighs and the dream in which starred Stan Marsh came rushing back to him.
His face burned red mercilessly at the memory.
"God Dammit! Not again…"
His eyes watered faintly. He was so fucking ashamed. Stan was his best friend…! Not best….sexual fantasy…! Right!?
He looked at the clock, and came to find out it was much earlier than he wanted it to be. He could've sworn he heard a loud thud near his window. Must've imagined it.
All morning he continued to have horrid muses of the dream from last night. He….thought they would've gone away by now, at first figuring, 'well hey, what the fuck, hormones do that I guess'. But now after the 11th…no, maybe even 12th time getting off to him…Oh god, he couldn't even keep track any more.
Things were getting a little…
He was starting to feel like….towards…
"Hey, Kyle!", Stan, his super best friend since forever grinned and waved at him from the buss stop, jerking him out of his thoughts.
"O-..oh, Hi Stan"
"So hey, great news, my Dad finally stopped dressing up like hygiene products. I should probably be sounding monotone and annoyed right now, but god damn, I am so fucking relieved.", Stan mentioned eagerly.
"Dude, finally.", Kyle went to reply, but so soon as his eyes met Stan's, he couldn't help but get a bit nauseous and look away.
"Uh, hey….are you okay…? You don't look so great, dude…", When Stan went to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, he couldn't prevent the shudder of painfully suppressed longing that ran through his body.
'This is so FUCKING stupid…it was never like this before…' Kyle found himself thinking frantically.
A beyond annoying noise broke he silence. "Na na na na na na, I know something you don't know I know~~"
Oh shit. That was not something Kyle Broflovski wanted to here from Eric Fat ass Cartman.
Kyle glared at the road in front of him, trying to ignore Cartman's childish taunts. "Shut up, Cartman. No one cares."
Eric made a grab for Kyle's backpack, pulling him backwards just to enough to where Eric's lips were barely an inch from the shell of Kyle's ear, and whispered with obvious delight, "Oh, you'll care. Meet me at my house after school today. Come alone."
Thoroughly annoyed, Kyle thrust back out of Cartman's grasp.
"Whatever." He mumbled angrily.
Stan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Dude."
"Ugh, just ignore him. Oh hey, where's Kenny?" Kyle questioned.
"Kenny died this morning, guys." Cartman spoke nonchalantly.
"Oh. Well hey, do you think he'll be back by this evening?"
"Probably" Stan said as he got onto the bus, the two other boys following in toll.
---
Cartman smiled as he opened the door to allow in Kenny McCormik.
"Hey. What do you want?", Kenny asked with suspicious curiosity.
"I can't wait any longer. Ahahaha. I just HAVE to show SOMEONE." The thrill in Cartman's eyes grew ever stronger.
Kenny's eyes widened slightly, the suspense growing on him. "So, what the hell is it?"
"Come in", He dragged Kenny up to his room, and turned on his treasured recording for the parka sporting blonde to view.
"….Kyle…? As he sleeps…?", Kenny raised an eye at Cartman, who just couldn't seem to wipe that smirk off his face.
"ssh, shh! Keep watching."
"Yeah, okay…"
"Ah…ah…"
"Holy shit…." Kenny scooted a little closer to the screen.
"aah…oh…oh god…Stan…"
"Holy shit…"
"Ah…Stan…please"
"Holy fucking shit…"
As the video ended, Kenny sat dumb struck in his chair. "Well….bloody fucking christ, Cartman, I wasn't expecting to see THAT when I came over. What the FUCK do you plan on doing with it?"
"Why, blackmailing our little Jew with it, of course.", Cartman spoke as though it were obvious.
Kenny remained silent for a moment. "You know you're quite the abusive asshole, don't you?" Cartman huffed. "It's a low blow, man. I'd take it to the police if they ever believed what the fuck I say.", Kenny shrugged and laughed bitterly.
Cartman pulled out another little tape from a bag and waved it around smugly. "I've got like a billion copies. You want one..?~"
Kenny looked back and forth a bit shiftily, "…Yes."
He made a grab for the tape and tucked it into his parka and cleared his throat. The room smelled strongly of cheesy poofs. And it wasn't like his place smelled any better or anything, but he wanted the hell out of here. He felt bad for Kyle. But he also wanted to get home to get to work on watching that vid a few more hundred times…
"So, there's nothing I can do to change your mind?"
"Tch. Like you even have to bother asking. I thought that video would keep you happy"
Waving Cartman's words off, Kenny began to get up and leave.
"Seeya," He shouted, then whispered, " you cocky fat ass…"
"EY! WHAT DID YOU CALL MEH?!" Cartman lurched towards the door but then gave up at remembering how damn quick the kid was, not to mention his laziness.
Just as Kenny was running out of the Cartman residence, he bumped into someone he wasn't expecting, nearly knocking the unsuspecting victim over.
"Kyle!", Kenny shouted, a bit unnecessarily loud, with a particularly guilty expression.
"Hey, Kenny!" Kyle smiled warmly, easily putting the near face-ground encounter aside.
Oh God. He looked so innocent. That cute face didn't deserve the blackmail of a lifetime he was about to get.
"Uhm, hey Kyle…uh…."
"Kenny, I've been looking for you! I….need some advice." Kyle frowned. "It's urgent. Really urgent."
"Oh?" Kenny looked at a loss.
"You're not in a hurry, are you…?"
"I…I guess not." He could feel Cartman's gaze from the window and felt acutely the rage he felt towards him for trying to harm his friend.
They sat down on the concrete doorstep, ignoring the slight wetness from the snow.
Kyle inhaled deeply the evening scent of pine and wet asphalt, preparing himself for what he was about to say, although still looking utterly abashed.
"Kenny…you're bisexual, right?" He looked his friend in the eye.
"Ahaha, Well yeah, you know that Kyle. Why so serious?" Kenny smiled and playfully shook Kyle's shoulder.
"Uh well…How did you find out you were…?" Kyle's words were melancholy at best.
"So, you're gay now?", Kenny beamed.
All Kyle could do was blink, shocked. "You're much too pragmatic for me to handle." He sighed and buried his face into his palms.
"Hm. But you didn't say no." Kenny continued brightly.
Kyle looked up, panicking slightly. "No! I mean…it's…it's not like that. Oh! Y-you can't tell anyone what I'm thinking or I'll…kill you…or something…"
Kenny's eyes softened, understanding how frustrated the poor kid must be. His heart sunk at the thought of Cartman's dark intentions. He flung one arm over the ranting auburn-haired sexually confused boy, and squeezed him comfortingly.
"Killing me's not gonna do much…You know I won't tell" He said off-handedly.
"But, you don't understand, Kenny…it's way worse than anything that could possibly fucking decide to happen to me…"
"Is it Stan?"
"W-what!?"
"Is it Stan?" Kenny repeated.
Suddenly, the door slammed open behind them, making them both jump.
"EY! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE." Cartman looked mildly pissed off, "Some sort of gay comfort scene goin' on here? You gonna cry, Kyle? If so, I'll get my camera."
"Shut up, fat ass!! Weren't you the one who invited me here?!" Kyle yelled back in his face.
"And you! Didn't I tell you to get the hell off my property?!" He pointed an accusing finger at Kenny.
"No. No you didn't, fat ass." Kenny stuck out his tongue as Cartman pulled in Kyle against his will with a yelp.
"Dammit." Kenny hissed through his teethe as he heard the clicking of the door lock.
-------------------------
Not a single sex scene yet. How disappointing.
