"This is Daisy Dixon."
It felt like he was watching static on an old TV. There was a strange white noise in his ears blocking out any other sound. And he knew that Beth's face was in front of his eyes, but somehow he wasn't really seeing her. He opened his mouth, aware that he should say something in response, but nothing came out. He didn't understand. "Tim…?" he managed eventually.
Realisation dawned on Beth's face. "You thought?" She let out a little giggle, "Daryl, Tim is gay. And Daisy was already born when I met him." Daryl must still have looked bewildered, because Beth continued shyly, "Do you remember, when we were in the funeral home?"
"Course I remember," Daryl said quickly, her uncertainty snapping him straight out of his daze. Their time in the funeral home together had been the best thing that had ever happened to him. How could she think he could forget that? Of course, because he had never told her how he felt. And still hadn't, despite having been given the chance he had been dreaming of for two years. "She's… mine?" he said, needing her to actually confirm it. Beth beamed at him and nodded.
Daryl had always known he would never have children. He would have to find a woman he could stand who would also give him the time of day for starters. Before Beth, he hadn't thought such a woman existed, and after Beth he knew no one would ever live up to her. But aside from that, there was too much of Will Dixon in him to ever risk having kids. He would never willingly subject someone to a childhood even a fraction as bad as his had been. And he knew there was a chance he could turn into his daddy one day; he could rarely stop the Dixon rage bursting out of him when he drank. And on top of all that, the dead had started walking. Having a child in the new world was downright stupid.
But now Beth was stood in front of him, telling him he was a father, and he knew that no amount of Dixon blood could ever make him hurt either of them. He would do anything to keep them safe. Only, he hadn't done that so far. If this was his baby, Beth had to have been pregnant the last time he saw her. And that meant… oh God. He stepped back, needing air but finding that no matter how deeply he inhaled it wasn't enough. "I left you… you were pregnant an' I left you alone," he sank onto his knees in front of her, not caring about their audience. Will Dixon had been a bad father. A violent drunk, he had covered both of his sons in scars and left their lives completely screwed up. But even Will Dixon hadn't abandoned his pregnant wife or newborn babies. And Will Dixon had only made them deal with a monster at home; he hadn't left them to deal with flesh-eating walkers. Daryl had only known he had a child for five minutes, and already he was a worse father than his own.
Beth joined him on the floor, shifting Daisy so she was sat across her knees, and laced her small fingers through his. "Did you know I was alive?" she asked calmly. He shook his head. "Did you know I was pregnant?" He shook his head again. "If you had known, would you have left me?"
"Never," he grunted.
"Well then it doesn't matter. You didn't know, and you can't change that. You acted based on the information you had at the time." She squeezed his hand, "And besides, it's worked out in the end. We're alive, and we're safe, and now we're back together again."
Daryl nodded, though he didn't agree with her. There she went again, forgiving all of the completely unforgivable things he had done. He didn't deserve any part of her, but he knew that if she wanted him in her life in any way he would be powerless to refuse. As much as he would never consider spending two years alone with a baby trying to survive at the end of the world 'working out', her words seemed to have eased the knot in his stomach. He was able to draw in a deep breath, finally feeling like his lungs were completely full.
"Now," Beth said with a small smile, "do you want to hold your daughter?" Daryl nodded instantly, and Beth picked Daisy up, talking to her as she passed her over, "Daisy, this is your daddy."
Daddy. Daryl felt the weight of the word settle over his shoulders as he felt the weight of the child settle into his arms. He looked into Daisy's face, and quickly decided that he was an idiot for thinking she could ever have been Tim's. They weren't Beth's bright blue eyes, they were his – paler and with more grey. She had his hair too, different in tone to the near jet black of Tim's. The sight of his eyes in the face of a mini Beth Greene made something warm grow in his chest. Without thinking, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Beth's. She didn't respond at first, and he almost pulled away in panic, but then she wrapped her arms around him and Daisy, him and their child, and kissed him back. Daryl closed his eyes and tried to commit the moment to memory; he was fairly sure that he would never get another moment as perfect.
Carl, Enid and Tara started whistling and clapping at them, causing the rest of the crowd to laugh. Daryl flushed and broke the kiss, suddenly very aware of the number of eyes on them. He stood up and helped Beth to her feet, and then Maggie rushed forwards, shrieking, "Let me see my niece!" She bent down to Daisy, peppering kisses over her forehead, but she didn't try to take the baby out of his arms. Daryl was glad; he didn't want anyone to take her away from him. The rest of the group followed Maggie's lead, Rick clapping Daryl on the back and murmuring his congratulations, Carol drawing Beth into a bone-crushing hug, and Carl pulling Judith along to meet Daisy.
The more people crowded around them, the more Daisy seemed to be fidgeting in his arms. He glanced down at her and saw her bottom lip beginning to wobble. Daryl looked to Beth, his eyes widening. "I think this is a bit too much for Daisy," she said in answer to his silent question, loud enough for everyone to hear. The swarm of well-wishers backed off, and Daryl took her hand, leading her away from the crowd and towards his home.
"You want me to take her?" she said as they walked along the rows of white picket fences.
"Nah, I got 'er," Daryl was enjoying the feeling of Daisy burrowing her head into his shoulder. Beth gestured to the ankle he was limping on, her face questioning. "Be fine in a couple days. Jus' twisted it or somethin'."
The houses in Alexandria were strong, their thick walls making them almost soundproof. When Daryl shut the door behind the three of them it felt like he was enclosing them in their own private bubble. "I missed you," he said, conscious that he shouldn't let anything go unsaid between them and that he still hadn't told her how he felt.
Beth wrapped one arm around his back. "I missed you too."
Daisy's head kept lolling onto Daryl's shoulder as she alternated between trying to look around her new surroundings and succumbing to her tiredness. "I think this little one needs a nap," Beth said, stretching up onto her toes to brush hair out of her daughter's eyes.
Daryl nodded, and headed up towards his bedroom. Realising what he was doing, he stopped part way up the stairs. "I… um… you can stay in my room. If you want. Course you can always stay wi' someone else, or 'm sure we can get you yer own room…"
"Of course we'll stay in your room," Beth said, cutting off his rambling, "if you'll have us."
"Never want you anywhere else," Daryl said, then felt his cheeks warm at the insinuation. He carried on up the stairs, avoiding eye contact with Beth.
His room was basic. A large bed was pushed against one wall, draped with a quilt that Carol had made him. A wardrobe holding all of his clothes, shoes and weapons stood next to the door to the bathroom. He had an emergency pack hanging from the back of the door, ready in case he needed to run. One bedside table held a small stack of paperbacks and a clock, and the other held Beth's knife.
"My knife!" Beth said, reaching towards it, "You kept it!"
"Only thing of yours I had." He shifted the sleeping baby in his arms. "Judith don't use her crib no more. We can prob'ly borrow that."
"Sounds good. She'll be alright on the bed for now though."
Daryl laid Daisy gently on the bed. She stirred slightly at the movement, before scrunching up her fists by her face and going back to sleep. He watched her for a few moments and then said, his voice barely above a whisper, "She's a quiet kid. Hardly made a sound this whole time."
Beth got a strange, haunted look on her face, and Daryl wished he hadn't said anything. "She's had to be quiet. There were times…" Beth looked down at her hands, "There were times when she was younger, she wouldn't stop screamin', and there were walkers. I had to- to almost smother her. Guess she learnt. She doesn't talk yet, and I think she should be, by her age." Her voice was getting smaller and smaller, "I think it's my fault."
He reached out to her, wanting to comfort her but not sure what he was allowed to do. She stepped straight into his arms, and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You were alone with a baby. You done the best you could. Better a baby that don't talk than-" He didn't finish the sentence. It felt wrong, like if he said it out loud he would be tempting fate. "'Sides, maybe it's genes or some'in. I ain't exactly a chatterbox."
Beth said nothing in response, and Daryl began to frantically search his brain for something to distract her. "So," he said, "Daisy Dixon, huh?"
Beth let out a happy little huff into his chest, "I figured if she was gonna be without her daddy for a little while, she should at least have a name just like his." She pulled back to look at him, "D'you like it?"
"'S perfect," he said, then looked at the sleeping child on his bed, "She's perfect." Beth let out a little 'hmm' and Daryl pulled her tightly against him. She had fought her way back to him. Not only that, she had given him a child. It wasn't something he had ever thought he wanted, but now he had it he decided it was the most incredible gift anyone could ever have given him. He wished he could have seen her pregnant, stomach rounded with his baby. He wished he could have been there for the first weeks and months of his daughter's life. But he couldn't change the past. What he could change, was how he treated her from now on. And that should start by him telling her how he felt. "Beth, I never thought-"
But she cut him off by yawning loudly into his chest. She was swaying unsteadily on her feet, leaning most of her weight into him. She must have crashed after all of the adrenaline; she seemed exhausted. "You should take a nap too," he said.
She smiled gratefully up at him as he pushed her towards the bed, "Haven't slept much in the last few days."
"'S the comfiest bed I ever slept in. 'N you're safe here."
Daryl wasn't sure how long he spent watching them sleep. Beth Greene was lying in his bed next to their daughter, and that idea seemed so incredible that a part of him was convinced they would disappear if he looked away. If they were just a figment of his imagination, he wanted to keep the delusion going for as long as possible. But if they were real, there were things he needed to do before she woke up, so he reluctantly slipped out of the room.
He passed Rick in the hall. "They're sleepin'," Daryl mumbled as he switched out of the comfy shoes that Carol had insisted would be good for his ankle, and into his boots, "Goin' on a run." Rick smiled knowingly in response, and Daryl added, "Can we use Judith's old crib?"
"I'll put together some of the things she doesn't use anymore." Daryl nodded his thanks, tightening his laces. Rick leaned against the bannister, and Daryl couldn't find it in himself to care about his cocky smirk. "How're you feelin'?" Rick asked.
"Hell if I know," Daryl said, but he offered Rick a small, genuine smile. "Can't believe I got her back."
"And a baby too. She looks just like you, you know."
Daryl stood up, slinging his crossbow and pack over his shoulder, "Think she looks like both of us."
"You want some company?"
Daryl paused. He normally preferred to go on runs alone, but he did still have a dodgy ankle. He wasn't about to risk leaving Beth and Daisy alone again. Plus, Rick was a father, and Daryl knew nothing about babies except what he'd picked up by looking after Judith. He could probably offer some good advice. "Yeah, alrigh'."
In the end, Aaron and Glenn joined them as well. Their first stop was a baby store two towns over. They had raided it for things for Judith when they first got to Alexandria, but the shop was so big that you couldn't tell they had ever been there. Two years later and it seemed much the same; there were so few babies left in the world that baby stores were mostly left untouched.
The first thing Daryl looked for was a crib. Of course they could use Judith's, and Daisy wouldn't know or care if she was sleeping in a hand-me-down, but he wanted to give her the best he could. He picked out one in a dark wood, with hearts carved onto the ends. The sign next to it said that it converted into a 'toddler bed' whatever that was, and he snorted when he saw the price. A Dixon baby would never have slept in something so expensive before the end of the world. He located the boxed, flatpack version and loaded it into the truck they had brought. When he went back to find the sheets that had been modelled on the display unit, he realised the crib was part of a set. He grabbed the matching chest of drawers, toy box and high chair, and hauled them out to the truck with Aaron's help.
Daryl was stood in the middle of the clothing section when Rick emerged, carrying a basket full of things that Daryl didn't recognise. "What size are you gettin'?" he asked, gesturing to the piles of clothes in Daryl's arms.
"Uhh…" Daryl said, looking down at what he had picked up so far. He hadn't been paying attention to sizes, which was pretty dumb.
Rick laughed. "How old is she?"
Daryl wasn't sure exactly. He counted backwards. "She'll be, I guess, sixteen, seventeen months?"
"Ok, well you've got mostly newborn stuff. Start with twelve to eighteen, and then get a bunch of eighteen to twenty-four too. Once she starts eatin' properly, she'll be growin' out of things as soon as you put her into them."
Daryl had packed so many clothes for Daisy that she would probably be able to wear a new outfit every day, and so many toys and books that the truck was sitting noticeably lower on its suspension. Daryl, Aaron and Rick stood outside the store, waiting for Glenn to finish up. They had silently agreed to pretend to ignore the fact that Glenn was looking for things in a baby store.
A group of walkers had obviously heard the commotion, and were pushing weakly against a chainlink fence in an attempt to get to them. Almost all of the walkers left were so slow and decayed now that there was rarely any need to do more than simply avoid them. But then something caught the light on one of the bony fingers. Daryl's heart began to race, and he unsheathed his knife.
