Chapter 2: In the Forest

Harry found that living inside a child's mind was quite relaxing. It was small enough for him to not get lost. There was plenty of imaginary food to eat because all the child thought about was ramen. Harry played in the playground that Naruto imagined. He explored the imaginary shops, and spoke to his imaginary friends.

However, the resident living a few floors down in Naruto's stomach snored very loud. His sleepy new neighbor was a giant demon. Other than that, Naruto's mind was a great place to spend his retirement.

Harry still had no idea how he got there. But he experienced stranger things in his life, so he decided to wait and see what happened.

The giant bowl of ramen in Naruto's mind began making ramen, signifying that it was morning.

Harry looked at Naruto's tiny apartment through Naruto's eyes. It was cleaner than what he expected, being that Naruto was a four year old living alone.

Naruto opened a cabinet, which was stocked with food.

"Cool! New food!" Naruto exclaimed happily. Then he made himself a bowl of ramen.

Harry wondered if Naruto could hear him. "Hey, Naruto. Remember me?"

Naruto dropped his bowl of ramen. "W-who are you? Where are you?"

"In here."

Naruto looked at the spilt ramen. "Mr. Ramen?"

"No! Up here!" Naruto looked at the ceiling. "Inside you."

Naruto looked at his stomache. "Not in your stomach. Someone else already took up all the space in there. I'm in your head."

"In my...head? Just how many of you are in me?"

"Just two. I think. And I hope, for your sake."

"But why are you in me, Mr. Voice? Do all people have voices living inside them?"

"I don't know. I think one of us is insane, but I'm not quite sure who. Do you remember what happened two nights ago?"

Naruto scrunched up his face as he thought hard. "No. I don't remember anything. But whatever I did, I didn't do it."

"You're not in trouble. So you don't remember anything. Interesting. It could be that you're the one that's insane, or my entering your mind could have been too much for you to handle and you made yourself forget." Harry said.

"Huh?" Naruto was confused.

"Never mind. My name is Harry. Now go brush your teeth before you eat a real breakfast."


After Harry made Naruto eat a breakfast of eggs and toast, and after Naruto got a promise out of Harry that he could eat ramen for dinner, they found a note on the table from someone called the Hokage summoning Naruto for his check-up.

"I have to visit the old man, the big bossy doctor, and the frog man." Naruto told Harry.

On the way to go this Hokage person, Harry noticed many people glaring at Naruto, as if he had committed a terrible crime. Others were jeering at him and taunting him. At one point, as Naruto passed by a man who looked very furious.

"You monster!! How dare you show your evil face!! You will pay for what you've done!!"

Suddenly, Harry's magic went totally out of his control, and the angry man promptly turned into a goat.

"Baaaaa! Baaaaa? BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" The goat bleated and trotted away, more scared now than angry. Naruto watched with wide eyes. "Go on. I'll explain later." Harry said to Naruto.

Naruto could use Harry's magic. Harry was just glad that no one was paying attention.

Another furious looking man ran out of a grocery store holding a carton of milk. "IT WAS YOU!!" The man yelled. "IT'S YOUR FAULT THE PRICE OF MILK WENT UP!! YOU DESERVE TO DIEEEEEEEEE!!" The man sounded like Uncle Vernon. Harry made sure the irritating man got turned into a cow.


The whole way along their trip, it was like playing a game of tug-of-war with Harry's magic. When one the villagers made Naruto upset, he would unknowingly lash out Harry's magic. Harry had to reel the magic back into his control because if he slips another villager becomes a farm animal, and everyone else starts screaming. Naruto was nearly in tears.

"Keep going Naruto. This is quite normal." Harry urged him to keep walking. They finally made it to a tower. They went inside and Naruto went up a flight of stairs, until they came to a set of doors with two guards standing outside.

"Uzumaki Naruto." One of the guards spoke in robot-language. "Hokage-sama has been waiting for you." The guards opened the doors, to reveal an old man doing a ton of paperwork.

"Naruto, finally. You are here. You're late for your check-up you know." The old man said.

"Yeah, Naruto! I was beginning to think you didn't like us." A cheerful looking man with white hair said. He was sitting next to a woman with blonde hair.

He knew from Naruto's memories that these people were Sarutobi-the Hokage, Jiraiya-the frog man, and Tsunade-the big bossy lady. The latter of the three came to give him a check-up every month.

"Naruto, you are still too short for your age. Why haven't you been eating right like I told you? I told you stop eating so much ramen. Why don't you-"

"Tsunade, give the kid a break already. He's only four. He's not going to die tomorrow."

"Shut up you old pervert! Why are you always here? You have a mission to do!"

"But I also have underlings. I wanted to see how the young son of my favorite student was doing , so I sent my underlings to take my place. You gambled off your underlings."

"I did not, you pervert!"

"Hag!"

"Pervert!"

"Hag!"

"Pervert!"

"Would you two act like your age!" The Hokage yelled as he rubbed his temples.

"Hag." Jaraiya muttered.

"Pervert." Tsunade muttered back.

The Hokage ignored them. "Now Naruto, I know that you don't like these check-ups very much..."

"Because it involves the hag being a bossy bitch no doubt." Jiraya mutterd. Tsunade punched him through a wall.

The Hokage cleared his throat. "As I was saying, you have to-"

The man was interrupted again. One of the guards burst in. "Hokage'-sama! People are turning into animals!"

"Yes. People sometimes become animals." Sarutobi calmly said. Harry snickered inside Naruto's head.

"No, no! It's a farm outside." The ninja tried to explain.

"Yes. The world is one big farm."

"But they're really becoming animals, Hokage-sama!"

"Being a ninja makes people turn into animals. In due time we all rediscover what it means to be human."

"B-but..." The ninja spluttered.

"Genma, just leave it. He's probably not going realize what happens even if a cow come jumping into the room." Just then a cow jumped into the room.

"Ah, lunch has arrived. Jaraiya, come here and prepare our meal." Sarutobi said.

The ninja called Raidou rolled his eyes and left the room. "I can't eat steak anymore now." He said as he left.

"Quick, before all the confusion ends, ask them who the gigantic demon living in your stomach is. And ask them how I can get it to shut up. It snores too loud."

"Who's the demon living in my tummy?" Naruto asked. Everyone stopped what they were doing. Jaraiya stopped building the fire in the middle of the office. The cow stopped mooing. Tsunade stopped looking bored. Sarutobi stopped breathing. The guards came in with an assortment of weapons.


Naruto walked back to his apartment. After assuring an army of ninjas that the snoring demon in his tummy had not stopped snoring, the Hokage told him the demon's name was Kyuubi and he was sealed in him by the fourth Hokage. That was why he had to have check-ups. Because no one wanted the Kyuubi to move out. And no, Sarotobi told Naruto. He did not no how stop Kyuubi's snoring, and it was best not to wake him up. Harry thought that smothering him with an imaginary pillow would work.

At least they both now knew why no one liked Naruto. And now Harry permitted Naruto to turn the petty and ungrateful people of Konoha into farm animals to his hearts content. In fact, Harry would do it for him. Once he figured out how.

Teaching Naruto how to use his extensive magical abilities was the least Harry could do. After all he was living in the boy's mind, and taking away any privacy with his own thoughts.

Harry saw much of himself in the boy. He had a big heart. Harry figured that it wasn't such a good thing to have in the cold and bloody life of a ninja. But Harry would help Naruto make it work. Naruto was unique. Not all ninjas (or at least Harry assumed) had an extremely powerful spirt of a veteran wizard living in his head.

As they walked home, upon passing by the training grounds, they spotted a young man with a scar on his nose, performing many complicating tricks. "That's enough, Iruka. You did well." An older told the him. "Thank-you, Ibiki-sensei." Iruka told him.

The young man Iruka rested under a tree as Ibiki left.

When the young man saw Naruto staring at him, his face formed into half a frown and half a smile, as if he didn't know whether to kill him or play with him. In the end he smiled at him, and asked a shy Naruto if he wanted ramen.

Maybe this person could be Naruto's guide in the ninja world.