A/N: Sorry for the wait, and unfortunately after the next chapter I will take a break just for USNCO and AP exams...yes that's right I'm not as dumb as "One Step Closer" might make me out to be...
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any mentioned company.
Without thinking twice, Tetsuya shook the man's hand and asked, "What could you need to see me for, Dr. Aizen?"
"Ah, I'll get to that. But first, why don't we step inside?"
Feeling a bit embarrassed for not thinking of doing so, Tetsuya obliged.
Aizen stepped into Tetsuya's spacious flat and realized almost immediately that he was the son of Rukia. This apartment had the latest furnishings, marble floors, a widescreen plasma TV, the works. It was probably only exceeded by the Trump Tower, which he had actually rented for a few months before deciding it was too expensive for him. It was times like these when he realized the Kurosakis, while still behind him in fame, were a continual force to be reckoned with.
"W-would you like anything to drink, Doctor Aizen?"
"No thanks, I'm fine. And please, just call me Aizen…in fact, I prefer it."
"Alright, if that's what you want." Both of them sat in opposite leather armchairs in the living room. After getting seated, Aizen spoke up.
"So have your parents told me anything about you?" Tetsuya gulped. Sure, he respected Aizen….his parents, however, had told him that the man was nothing but trouble.
"Yeah…dad says that when you were younger, you would get him in trouble all the time because you made fun of mom all the time." The man in question merely smirked and asked, "…what do you think about that?"
Tetsuya took a deep breath. Sure, he cared for his parents…but this was freakin' Sousuke Aizen, the future Nobel Prize recipient. How could he let him down with a 'righteous answer'?
"I think…if it's true…that it's dad's fault for getting a temper, even grandpa Isshin says the same thing, that he always had a bad temper in high school. As for making fun of mom…dad told me you two stopped being friends when dad fell in love with mom so I could see why you would want to bag on her." Tetsuya immediately grimaced at using the word 'bag' in front of such a prestigious person. Feeling he had to redeem himself, he continued. "But he said he hasn't seen you in over 20 years…what made you want to come back?"
Aizen grinned. What a sharp mind.
"I just wanted to see what his son is like, and from what I've seen so far I'm rather impressed." He could see Tetsuya's eyes light up at that last comment. "What I wanted to speak to you about, however, is the essay contest. You're planning on entering, correct?"
"Yes, at least 30 kids from our school apply each year…my friends Tai and Hiro want to enter as well. We're been really close since our parents knew each other even before we were born."
Aizen decided to continue along that vein. "What are their last names…?"
"Oh, they talk about you a lot from their parents, actually. They're Tai Tousen and Hiro Ichimaru."
Aizen's eyes widened slightly before he returned to his impassive demeanor. "Well, enough about that, let's-" Aizen's eyes searched the room. As he was speaking, he noticed the Playstation3 in front of the TV screen. Tetsuya turned around to see what had fixated the man's attention.
"Oh, that piece o' junk? Yeah I keep it around…it's alright."
"Do you have any…Metal Gear Solid games?"
"Yeah, every single one…why do you ask?"
2 hours later, Aizen had finished Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater on Extreme mode. Tetsuya was amazed by how he always kept his camo index above 50 at all times.
After completing the game, Aizen decided the time was right. "Well, it's about time I leave…by the way, do you like the Metal Gear Solid series?"
Tetsuya looked at him as if he was…a gypsy! (A/N: LOLOL sorry I couldn't resist) and responded, "Are you kiddin' me, of course! They're my favorite games!"
Aizen gave a small smile.
"That is one thing we share in common I suppose...and hopefully the first of many. Anyway, nice talking to you…?" Aizen held out his hand while Tetsuya blushed at his stupidity for not introducing himself. "Tetsuya. Tetsuya Kurosaki." He gave Aizen's hand a firm shake before the other man answered. "Here is my e-mail address. Use it wisely." And with that, he left a jubilant Tetsuya with his address: sousuke.aizen (a) left the building and started walking back to the subway. On his way, he noticed someone who he did not want to meet…just yet. Covering his face by massaging his eyes, he walked right past and brushed shoulders with someone whom he had not seen in over one and a half decades.
Turning back to the current goal, he hopped on board the number 6 express.
Next up: Brooklyn
"C'mon T-square, we need this shot. I don't wanna do more fuckin' suicides I need to get some shit to EAT!"
"Alright, I'll see what I can do yo." Tai was completely out of breath from his latest suicide; since he was one of the last people in line to shoot the subsequent free throw, numerous misses had led to over 10 suicides. It was a wonder no one had collapsed yet.
"Alright Tai, let's see what you got," coach Zaraki remarked.
Yes, that's right. The bloodthirsty Zaraki Kenpachi had decided to become a basketball coach. If there's anything he loved more than violence, it was basketball…with violence if possible. His size (standing 7'8" and weighing nearly 400 pounds never hurt) made everyone listen to him, thugs and preppies alike. His coarse language was enough to scare some people, and the one time someone had spoken back to him, he was pinned to the wall, staring death in the eyes. Unfortunately, it was too hard to kill someone in New York City and get away with it for too long, so Zaraki just put the boy down and had him kicked off the team, which was actually an AAU traveling team, with Tai Tousen the main star of the show.
Tai took the ball in his hand and dribbled three times. Spinning it up in the air and letting it fall and rebound before holding it again, he took a deep breath. Slowly, he bent his knees, lifted the ball over his head, and followed through with his form.
Swoosh
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tai was walking back home later than usual because one of his basketball buds was showing the latest montage he had made of him. It was a reel of highlights of him in last year's games to the tune of Jay-Z's "99 problems."
The title? T-Squared Tribute
Subtitle: 25 rapes meng
The best part about the 'tage was that for each dunk, the "rape-counter" on the bottom right hand side of the screen self-incremented. The best was when Tai would have a particularly sick dunk and raise his elbow up and down while his forearm and lats were perpendicular to each other while mouthing "raaaaaaaaaaaape" on the way down the court.
Needless to say, Tai had had a good laugh or two.
Slowly working his way up to his house (one of the few multi-million dollar estates left in this borough), he noticed someone walking up to him.
"No way…you're…!"
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"So Tai, what have your parents told you about me?" Aizen had introduced himself in much the same way and had received the same reaction. He figured he would ask this question to Tai, and later Hiro, as a mini-test just as he had done with Ichigo's boy.
"Uh…mom talks bad about you…she says your not nice and that you don't deserve to live, but dad defends you since you two were, as he put it, 'MIT brothas'"
Aizen let out a short laugh. At least Kaname still defended him.
"Do you believe that?"
Tai scratched the back of his head. "Well…nah my mom used to drink like there was no tomorrow as ya probably know." Aizen smiled inwardly. Destroying 'Soul Society' had been a fun sidebar activity for him in high school. "But then my father made her stop after high school, so I think he knows what he's saying when he says you 'fight the good fight'"
This time, his smile was on the outside "So I take it you will try to win that trip to Stockholm then?"
"Oh yeah, definitely. No one realizes that I'm actually top 10 in the school in terms of grades. I'm sure my friends Tetsuya and Hiro, who are also up there with me, will be applying for that contest too."
"I am glad to hear that, Tai." Pausing for effect, Aizen looked down when he resumed. "You wouldn't happen to…play basketball, would you?" he finished this sentence, looking straight into the eyes of the son of a woman whom he genuinely disliked.
Tai truly LOL'd. "Man, you have no idea…I'm one of the best shooting guards in the five boroughs!"
"Then how would you like to play me in some one-on-one sometime?"
Tai would have ROFL'd and LHAO'd had he not been speaking to Sousuke Aizen. Suppressing the urge, he answered with a remarkably straight face, "yeah sure, maybe one of these days that you have free time…we can play either at my house or the Rucker."
True, Tai had his own basketball court; after months of resistance from his father, he had gone to his mother, who obliged. After her consent, there was nothing Kaname could do; he never disobeyed Yoruichi. (What a biggety bitch…(1))Sometimes, when the team had a game in Brooklyn he would let everyone have practice at his crib and then let them spend the night too. There were more than enough guest rooms to accommodate, which is not unreasonable if you are part of one of the world's richest families.
However, who could resist the Rucker? It was the shit.
Weighing his options, Aizen replied. "We will play at the Rucker when the time comes." Looking at his watch, he got up from his seat. "I must go now; however, it was nice meeting you, Tai. You have a very high potential." Aizen mentally winced at the tritenss of that line. In high school, he would have made a physics joke out of it and said "Electric potential," which only the brightest- rather, LTG + Espadas- understood Now, he just shrugged it off and gave Tai's hand a firm shake while telling him, "you must not tell you parents under any condition that we have met." Feeling compelled to agree and not ask why not, he nodded his head while bidding the 38 year old a farewell.
Tai was shocked; Dr. Aizen had come to meet him. Not his dad, a leading neurologist. Not even his mom, a conglomerate CEO.Just a sixteen year old basketball player who happened to do well at a good school.
Yawning and heading up the stairs to his 40 x 40 x 20 feet room, Tai plopped down onto his bed and turned on ESPN.
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This was the moment he had been waiting for. After decades of dreaming, he had finally arrived.
His destination? The Playboy mansion; Los Angeles, CA.
His eyes dreamy over the prospect of all his "nee-san"s, Kon used his hax stealth to scale the security fence. In the dark, he was sure no one could spot him. However, he had started only after dusk because he found that lately he needed to get mo sleeps; thus, he had kept a bedtime of midnight or earlier for a while now. However, tonight was what he had waited 38 years for…and he would not turn back.
Crouch-walking to one of the windows on the side of the mansion, he kept his back to the wall, making sure no security guards saw him. Unfortunately, he had set off an invisible alarm and the patrolmen were proliferating. Quickly hiding himself in a bush, Kon saw two men come within 10 feet of him and start talking.
"Intruder?!" one man asked.
"Looks like it. Hurry, we mustn't let him get inside."
After the two had left with nightsticks in hand, Kon slipped out of the bushes and slowly opened one window. Slowly moving each foot on top of the sill and onto the other side, he jumped down to a storage room. After a minute of adjusting to the darkness, he left through a set of stairs, just missing the footsteps on the opposite side of the room.
Quickly sneaking up, he saw three doors with light slipping out from under the cracks. Randomly deciding on the door to his left (door number 1…), he slowly turned the knob and pushed it.
Standing just 15 feet to in front and to his left was…Pamela Anderson.
Kon had a severe nosebleed and yelled "NEEEEE-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!" his eyes now had stars in them as he lunged at the playmate while remarking, "Sweet boulders like I have seen in my dreams!!!!!"
As he was still in midair, the same two guards slammed the door open. Seeing the intruder lunging at Mistress Anderson's valley, they immediately opened fire with the dual SMGs they had for this occasion. If there was one thing Hugh Hefner hated, it was perverts attacking his bunnies.
About one thousand rounds were fired. By the time it was all over, Kon-or rather, what was left of him- was on the floor, 4 feet away from his nee-san and with his head and leg completely destroyed from the fact that all 1000 shots had hit their target. His limbs (what was left of them) were a mangled mess, and from a certain angle his lacerated stomach as well as his intestines could be seen. Blood was pouring out of his neck and groin, as well as some other areas….
Pa-mela, who was oblivious to the whole incident, finally gathered her surroundings, saw the red liquid, and yelled, "ohmigod! is that BLOOD?!!!!!" before screeching like a bat.
…and that was the end of the legendary Karakura Supah Hero whose name was Kon.
A/N: Read and Review.
Footnote 1: That is from the "Three Daves" where Dave Chappelle sees his 18 year old self using really fugly words like "paloom paloom" so he remarks with a funny/ugly face, "What a biggety bitch!" referring to himself of course.
Although...I do love when he says (as a 30 year old) "FUCK NICK CANNON!" and his son says "h's hilarious!" and Dave calls his son a bitch, who runs off to his mom LOL!!!!!!!
