Quinn mentally slapped herself as she picked up her clothes and walked into her bedroom. She thought about running after Rachel, but by the time she had gotten her clothes back on, the girl would have been long gone. The blonde pulled on her robe and crawled under the covers, saddened by the night's events. She had never meant to ever tell Rachel how she felt. They had been friends since they were in high school together in Ohio and when they both realised that they would be in New York at the same time, Rachel in college and Quinn starting out her law career, that they should live together. There was three years between the pair but somehow they had still managed to be friends.
That was until Rachel started dating and Quinn got jealous. That was when Quinn knew how she felt about the smaller girl. Their physical relationship had started after a drunken night out. Both girls had been frustrated because of their lack of girlfriends and they had gone out to find some people to take their frustrations out upon. They had failed and since they were both in the same predicament, it seemed to be an amazing idea at the time, and every time up until that night.
The blonde turned onto her side and reached next to her where she had thrown her phone, started crying and called the only other person she trusted as much as she trusted Rachel.
ooo
Rachel thrust her hands into her pockets and shivered against the cold night air. She wished that she had grabbed a coat before she left. She needed to get away though. There was no way that she could deal with Quinn's not so heart felt and well timed admission. She was still deeply scarred from all of the failed relationships that she had had over the last few years. Each one of those had told her that they loved her and each and every one ended with a broken heart.
The brunette would be lying if she said that she didn't feel something for the blonde, who wouldn't? The girl was perfect in both personality and physique. However, Rachel wasn't sure if she liked the girl enough to get her heart broken for her. Sure, they were best friends and Rachel loved her, but not how Quinn wanted her to.
Rachel knocked on the only door that she knew she could at such a late hour.
When the door opened, she fell into the arms of her closest friend, Kurt.
"You look terrible Rachel, what happened?" he asked, noting how her make up had run down her face.
"Can I stay here tonight? I don't know that I can go home." Rachel cried, not even knowing that she was until she spoke.
"Of course you can sweetie, did you and Quinn have a fight? Do I need to go and threaten to kick her ass and then wimp out because she could beat me to a pulp without even thinking about it?" This made Rachel laugh a little, which in turn made Kurt smile. The pair walked into the boy's apartment and sat on the couch.
"She told me that she loves me Kurt. And I just left." Rachel picked a spot on the wall in front of her, stylishly decorated, of course. She thought about all of the things that Quinn was probably thinking and how she might have damaged their friendship to an irreparable level by leaving, rather than facing her own demons by staying and talking it through.
"That's a big thing to say. I take it that you don't feel the same way?" the brunette boy probed. He hated seeing the girl in pain, no matter what.
"That's the thing, I don't know. And even if I did like her as more than a friend, I would be too terrified to do anything about it because I don't want to get my heart broken. It has happened far too much before and I don't really want it to happen again. I think that I would rather be a spinster for the rest of my life than take another risk." The brunette ranted, crying into her hands when she had finished.
"It sounds to me like you already kind of know what you feel; you've just built up so many walls to not allow yourself to feel it so that you can protect yourself. Baby, Quinn is the kindest, most thoughtful person that either of us knows. Do you really think that she would hurt you intentionally?" Kurt asked, letting silence linger between them for a few moments before moving on. He didn't want to force Rachel to answer. "How did she tell you anyway?" he asked.
"Well, you know we have been helping each other scratch certain itches lately?" Kurt nodded with a small grimace, not really wanting that mental image. "Well, we had just finished scratching and she just came out with it."
"You need to go home in the morning and face the music." Kurt sighed as he rubbed his forehead. Truth be told, he, Blaine, Brittany and Santana had a small ongoing bet as to when Quinn and Rachel would finally realise that they were meant to be together.
"I cant, she's working all day." Rachel muttered with a hint of happiness because she would get to put off having to deal with Quinn for longer.
"Then go and see her at work. We both know that she won't do her best work while she is beating herself up over potentially losing you. You don't have to marry her tomorrow Rae, just let yourself feel."
"Thank you Kurt." Rachel looked to her friend and smiled, finally able to dry her tears.
ooo
"Slow down and tell me what happened Quinn." Santana sighed down the phone, trying to get her best friend to calm down enough to get a single sentence from her.
"I've ruined everything that we had San. She isn't ever going to come back and she probably hates me now. All I was to her was a shoulder to cry on and a quick lay every now and then and I went and fucked that up because I can't control my mouth." Quinn sobbed, more out of anger at herself than sadness anymore.
"So you finally told her how you feel about her?" concern was evident in the Latina's voice. "I'm sure she is just processing it Q. You know what she's like. She likes her dramatic storm outs. Can you not remember her in Glee Club?" Santana asked, chuckling at the girls antics.
"But what if she doesn't come back?" the brunette could hear that Quinn was calming down.
"Then I will hunt her down and give her a piece of my mind. Its late Q and I have to be in the office early. Are you going to be okay?"
"I'll be fine. I'm going to work from home tomorrow. I don't feel like going in to the office, but if you need me to come in, call me." The blonde instructed.
"Will do. Bye." Santana hung up and Quinn finally let herself sleep.
ooo
The next morning, Quinn woke up to the smell of bacon and the sound of someone in the kitchen. Her heart leapt into her throat as she both relished and dreaded the possibility that it could be Rachel.
She got up and pulled her robe tightly around herself, slipping her slippers on and making her way down the hallway.
"Good morning." Quinn yawned as she crossed the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. Her pulse was pounding in her ears as she tried to avoid looking at the small brunette and carry on as normal, acting as if the night before had never happened. "You didn't come home last night." She observed.
"I think we need to talk Quinn." Rachel took the breakfast off of the stove and handed a plate to the blonde, motioning for Quinn to join her.
"No, we really don't." the lawyer laughed humourlessly as she put sauce on her plate. "There's nothing to talk about so let's just forget it."
"Do you really want to just forget it?" Rachel asked, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth and giving Quinn a look that she just couldn't read.
"Yeah, I think I do." She said with a reassuring smile, not at all getting that Rachel wanted her to mean what she had said.
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