A few hours later, she was with Aiden at the Hollywood Bowl, making out. God, this feels so wrong. Being with Aiden would make my life so much easier though. What am I going to do? He probably has no idea I'm not into it; he is a guy. Ash never called me back. I hope she's ok. What am I going to do? What if I screwed the friendship up? What if I screwed everything up? Do I care? Of course I do.Spencer kissed Aiden again but it felt so empty to her. It reminded her of being back in middle school when they used to practice kissing on pillows, their hands, dolls, whatever was around. There was almost no emotion or passion in the kiss. Thoughts of Ashley came flooding back, especially the night that they'd taken turns kissing Aiden and had admitted to thinking of kissing each other. She knew kissing Ashley, or being kissed by Ashley would be totally different. The older girl practically screamed sexiness from every pore of her body. Spencer had no doubt that Ashley was tender and gentle as well and she yearned to sample the other girl's lips almost as much as her fear held her back. That night in Ashley's room, they had been so close. She had been pissed at Aiden too, but she thought Ashley should have known better. Spencer didn't want her first kiss from a girl to be a game or a joke, and she was sure she wanted that kiss to be with Ashley. She just didn't know how to deal with everyone else in her life to make that happen.
"Why don't you stop pretending you're here with me and talk to me?" Aiden pulled away and looked Spencer directly in the eyes.
"What do you mean?" Spencer decided that her best course of action was to play dumb.
"I don't know why you're here with me and I so shouldn't be questioning this, but you and Ashley are my friends. I can't take advantage of you. I couldn't live with myself and we both know Ash would kick my ass if she found out. What's going on, Spencer?" Aiden smiled as he sat up next to the blonde and put an arm around her.
"Being with you just makes sense! There won't be questions, no one will hate me, I won't have to deal with my mom." Spencer looked down at her hands, trying to fight back tears. "But then I'm hurting the person who means most to me in the world too and losing my best friend. God, what am I going to do?" She started to cry as Aiden wrapped his other arm around her in a hug.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but more than anything else, I do want Ash to be happy. I've seen the way you guys are together, Spencer. You do make her happy. You just need to figure out what you want and screw everyone else. Maybe keep your relationship quiet for a while until you're ready?"
Spencer looked down at her hands for a few minutes, turning everything over in her head. After arriving at the only possible solution, she looked up at Aiden sheepishly. "Can you drive me over to Ashley's, please?"
"Why not? I don't think I'm whipped nearly enough yet." He began to gather up their things, smiling to show Spencer he was just teasing as she moved to help him.
When they got in his SUV, she called Ashley. "Damn, her voicemail again. She's never gone this long without calling me back. I'm thinking Madison might have told her we were going out tonight. I'm sure Glen told her, knowing him."
"I have no doubt in my mind that he told Madison. How long has it been since you called her?"
"She called me after school. I went home with Glen and Clay cause I didn't know how to tell her you and I were going out tonight. I called her back like an hour later and she didn't answer." Spencer looked over at Aiden with naked fear in her eyes.
"She's probably fine. You know Ash; when she's hurt or upset, she retreats. We're almost there, you can see for yourself then. Do you want me to go in with you or wait in case she doesn't want to talk to you?"
"No, you can go home. Thanks, though. I screwed this up; I have to fix it. She's going to talk to me whether she wants to or not." Spencer stared down at her hands before looking back up at Aiden. "You know her better than I do. Do you think I can get her to trust me again?"
"Ashley has issues, but she also has a good heart. I think she will understand, maybe not at first. Yes, I do think she'll trust you again, but it may take some time. Just be patient with her." Aiden turned into Ashley's driveway and looked over at the blonde. "Here we are. Good luck and call me if you need me."
"Thanks!" Spencer got out of Aiden's car and headed to Ashley's door. Luckily it was unlocked. She didn't hear any sounds coming from the house, which was weird. Anytime Ashley was home, especially when she was upset, she turned to music. She headed up the stairs and froze at the door of Ashley's room as she took in the scene in front of her. Ashley was passed out on the bed and there was an unfamiliar girl rifling through Ashley's wallet. She felt all of the frustration, anger and tension over the situation come bubbling up an made no effort to stop as she screamed at the girl. "Who the fuck are you and does Ashley know you're ripping her off?" Even as she went off on the stranger, she was a bit concerned as she noted that Ashley didn't even twitch at the sound of her voice. She decided to get the girl out of there first so she could focus on the reason she'd come.
