Chapter 1: Now what can Link do?
Warning: Gorge W. Bush is not in here because I hate him. (I'm not fond of him but) I just put him in here for the humor.
Link was struggling to run hard and far from Ruto and Zelda, of course this did no more good then putting out fire with gasoline.
"Don't you ever even go to the bathroom?"
"We're dead now, we don't have to pee." Said Ruto. Link dropped a bomb killing both of his stalkers, of course both appeared right in front of him again. Link began having some fun actually killing them.
"Twenty four," And hacked off Zelda's head, she re-appeared. "Twenty five." Off went her head again. Ruto's shortly followed it. Both respawned.
"Twenty eight." Said Link getting rid of Ruto's head. Link eventually got bored of this.
"Hey listen." Then Link decided to try and play his ocarina for a while.
"Why would I do that?" Link asked.
"Because I am the writer and I can make life very unpleasant for you." Said the Hylian rider.
"Don't you mean death?" Asked Link. The writer grabbed a pen and wrote something down. Suddenly The president of the united states (though Link didn't know him) walked into the room and started his long made speech.
"America is put under pressure from the violent games of children. These children are the future possible threats to America. These games teach the children rape and murder."
"What is this dude talking about?" Link asked. Bush then started singing, Sunday, bloody sunday. Link plugged his ears, and blocked out all sound for several hours.
"Dude you saw it, yeah I was interviewed for 'I am a blubber nugget monthly.' Twenty rupees pal." Link cried. Link ran in circles for a few moments then cried again.
"Dude shut up you got all the ladies." Said the man with the dead tree.
"...What?" Asked Link.
"Uh... I mean... MY TREE CURSE THIS DAY!" Then Link yelled as loud as he could.
"DUDE I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!"
"Link, honey what's wrong?"
"I REBEL AGAINST THIS OUTRAGE!"
"What are you rebelling against?" Asked tingle.
"Hey listen."
"If only I could." Said Zelda.
"So, what are you rebelling against?" Asked Ruto.
"What do you got?"
"Hey listen."
"We have an annoying fairy." Said King Zora.
"Ok, I'll rebel against that." Link responded putting on a thick leather jacket. Ruto and Zelda started the classic 'I love a guy in leather' speech and Link start reacting crap from the Matrix. Hey, he was weightless; why wouldn't he.
"HEY I happen to like those movies." Said the writer.
"Dude, revolutions sucked. Not to mention plot took a dive off the deep end in reloaded." The writer whipped out his pen again and wrote. King Zora suddenly had a strange crave to wear high fashiony like purple dresses.
"Thanks for screwing up my childhood." Said Link, but as he was now at least 17 (there's too much argument to pick an exact age) nobody really listened to him, besides Zelda and Ruto who'd both listen to Link say that the grass was green.
"Hey listen."
"Hey Zelda, Ruto, guess what. Grass is green."
"Wow!" Thus my point is made.
"Dude, your freaking lame." said Bush, who was now trying to be, excuse my language... hip.
"Yeah well your total wacko slacko." said Link, having listened to too much rap, (A/N ANY RAP IS TOO MUCH!)
"Can't spell rap without crap!"
"Hey listen."
"Rap stands for retards attempting poetry." Bush now walked adding, "Blubber nugget tuesday!"
END of chap 2
Ok, well there's more randomness, there's no plot, no point, and no good facts, and it has many oddball fans, tune in next month or so and I will have updated maybe, It won't take as long as this one anyway.
