I don't own Twilight. I've also never been to Moscow, Idaho. My apologies if I get something wrong about the town.

CHAPTER 1-ALICE'S P.O.V

20 YEARS LATER

Twenty years. Two decades. That's how long I've lived without Jasper.

One of the biggest things that has always been debated in our family is the question: Do vampires have souls? Carlisle, Esme, Jasper and I have always held out that we do. Edward, before Bella came along, didn't think so. Emmett and Rosaline were pretty much on the fence. I can settle the debate with Edward now if vampires have souls. We do. I know this because my soul is in Hell.

After Hoquiam, where we stayed for two years, we moved to New Hampshire so Edward and Bella could go to Dartmouth. I didn't even bother to sign up, much to Carlisle and Esme's dismay. I've changed. I don't dress up anymore. I don't shop…or fix my hair…or do anything I used to do. Honestly, I dress worse than Bella. Thankfully, no one pushes me on this anymore. Yeah, my temper's gotten worse too. Gone is the bubbly, optimistic Alice that Jasper knew and loved. That part died with him. We stayed in New Hampshire eight years. Edward played the med student and we moved back to the West Coast, staying in this small California town where he could intern at the local hospital. Don't ask me where… I don't know or care. I only left the house to hunt. Renesmee came of age and she and Jacob got married. Didn't have to be psychic to see that one coming. No, I didn't plan the wedding. What was the point? Renesmee left the nest and she and Jacob settled near La Push.

Anyway, after four years of Edward playing doctor, we moved to another hole in the wall town somewhere in Canada. Once again, don't know the name…don't care. There they did the whole high school thing again. We came up on the twentieth anniversary of "The Battle for Renesmee" as it was called and the family, minus me, decided on our next destination.

Moscow. Not Russia…Idaho. That's our next destination. Someone let Jacob pick and he thought the tip of Idaho would be somewhere we hadn't tried yet. Emmett likes it- the high school's mascot is the Bears. There are enough clouds, though we'll have to be careful in the summertime. I don't care. It's just another stop in my now pitiful existence. We should probably try somewhere cloudier, but there are only so many places in this world. Not that I care to voice my opinion.

I'm standing in 'my' room, pacing the floor and staring at the walls, my usual leisure activity. "Alice," Edward's voice says from the door, "we need to go get registered for school." I roll my eyes. "I don't care," I reply, "just sign me up for something." He smirks. "Alice, did you ever wonder if you would feel better if you made yourself live?" he asks. I snort. "I don't WANT to live," I reply sharply. "Tough," he replies, "because you're going to." "I'm not going to watch you waste away like I did at our last few stops." I fume. Like he was paying that much attention. He had Bella, Renesmee, and med school to keep him occupied. "I heard that," he said. Stupid mind reader, I think to him. He chuckles and sits on my bed. Someone made it up… not me. "Come here," he says, patting the edge beside him. I flop down beside him. "I know it's tough, Alice," he says sternly, "but you're going to have to snap out of it." I roll my eyes again. I've heard this speech before, from him and everyone else. "We all miss Jasper," he says softly, "not as much as you do…but we do." He then lifts my chin so we're eye to eye. Tough since he's almost a foot and a half taller than I am. "Would you want Jasper to see you like this?" he asks. Low blow, Edward, I snarl in my mind. He doesn't respond. "Come on," he says taking my hand, "we're going."

I stomp out to the car and sit in the back seat. Emmett is already waiting, sitting behind Bella. Looks like it's going to be us four this time. No one speaks and I stare out the window. I don't want to be here, not that Edward doesn't know that. I look down at my appearance. I've been wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt for the past week. My hair is pulled back in a small ponytail and I have no make-up. I couldn't care less. "We're all going to be juniors this year," Edward explains, "since we may have trouble with the weather, we're not going to be staying as long." I don't respond.

The school is dreary looking. Weather-beaten is a good word for it. We trudge into the office where Edward does the registering. I don't pay attention, only nodding when Edward looks at me like he's asking me a question. He gets us registered and gets us a schedule and a copy of the school map. This done, we hurry out to the car. "Alice, what would you like to do today?" he asks, trying to make conversation. I ignore him. He sighs. "Emmett?" he asks. Emmett sighs. "I'm guessing we have to do SOMETHING, right?" Edward smirks. Emmett then gets a sly grin on his face. "Let's see what the football team looks like," he says. Edward and Bella don't reply, but you can tell that's not what they had in mind. Emmett probably knows this and did it to annoy them. Emmett's always liked football.

I pout as Edward eases to the practice field. Jasper liked football. Not as much as Emmett, but he still liked it. I begin sobbing without warning. I used to give him a hard time about it. I thought it was boring. He would even stop watching it sometimes just to appease me and now I hate myself for it. Emmett crushes me against his chest. "It's ok, Alice," he whispers, "believe me…I know." I sob for a while. So long I didn't realize we had made it to the field.

I get out when everyone else does, afraid Edward would drag me out if I didn't. I've never seen practice before, only games. Emmett begins whispering to Edward about the "big dogs". That's what he… and Jasper… used to call the guys that controlled the action. "The field generals," as Jasper once put it. You can tell who the "big dogs" are on the field.

One, on the offense, is the quarterback. He's tall, 6'5" I'm guessing, with a lean but muscular build. The offense lines up and he swaggers to the line, licking his fingertips. The defense lines up and he squats behind the center. I have no idea why they do it that way. He barks his signals and the guy at the very end of the line turns and starts running closer towards the line. Wide receiver, I think, he's a wide receiver. The wide receiver runs behind the quarterback and gets almost to the other wide receiver on the opposite side when the ball is snapped. I watch, trying to keep my interest so my mind doesn't wander. The quarterback drifts easily back into the pocket, looks left, and throws.

The other "big dog" (I get mentally choked up using one of Jasper's phrases) is in the secondary, wearing number three. Quick as lightening, he breaks away from the man he's covering and leaps in front of the receiver. "Nice," Emmett comments, "I didn't even see him." I didn't either, not that I was paying that much attention. He bobbles the ball for a moment, running the opposite way before securing it in his arms. The coaches blow the whistle as soon as he has possession, though he runs it all the way back to the quarterback. "Lost this," he mumbles as he plants the ball in the quarterback's gut, though I can hear him from where I'm standing. He's shorter, maybe 6'1"-6'2". I'm guessing though he's better built than the quarterback. "Damn shame, ain't it, Coach," he says to who I'm guessing is a defensive coach who slaps him on the butt.

I turn to ask Emmett why they do that… the butt slapping, I mean… when the wind changes and I freeze. Something smells wonderful. Mouthwatering. Better than anything I've ever smelled in my existence. I growl under my breath. I want whatever that is. It hits me like a freight train, venom pooling in my mouth so fast I'd choke if I needed to breathe. "We're leaving NOW," comes Edward's voice as he grabs my wrist. No, I think, I WANT! He doesn't let go. Emmett and Bella, not knowing what's going on right now, spring into action. Emmett stands in front of me and Bella grabs me by the shoulders. There are twenty-two players on the field…six coaches…and at least thirty other players on the opposite sideline. Yet I KNOW which one I want. I want number three. He's the one that smells so appealing. Emmett pushes me back and Edward and Bella pull, not stopping till we get back to the car. I struggle the whole way, the monster inside fighting with everything it has to get out. Emmett slams me into the rear door so hard he leaves a huge dent. Not that I feel it. The wind shifts, freeing me from that scent. "What the hell was that?" Bella asks, clearly in shock. Edward's jaw is taut. "La tua cantante," he replies gravely.

I sob uncontrollably the entire ride home, wailing like a banshee. I can't help it. It wasn't because I nearly killed that unknown boy, whoever he was. I'd never even seen his face, he never turned my direction and he had his helmet on the entire time. It was Edward saying "la tua cantante." Roughly translated Italian for "one who sings." What Aro had called Bella the day we rescued Edward from them. Anything remotely related to the Volturi…anything Italian… brought on this reaction from me. Emmett tried to comfort me, but I shoved him away and continued to throw a fit. Jasper, my poor Jasper, is all I can think. Edward winces at my thoughts, but I ignore him. Edward could have said "she smelled lasagna" to Bella… or "she wants Gucci shoes" and it would've had the same effect. I cry out in pain, my chest feeling like my dead heart may tear its way out, and I beat my fist against my leg. Emmett restrains my wrists and Edward steps on the gas harder.

I fly out of the car, into the house, and upstairs to my room as fast as my tiny legs can carry me, bawling like a baby the entire time. I slam my door hard enough to knock pictures off the wall in the hallway. I throw myself onto the bed, still sobbing. The frame groans in protest, but I ignore it. I hate this house- Jasper's scent isn't here. I hate this house and I hate myself.

Jasper sacrificed himself to save me. I should've been paying closer attention or gotten a vision or something. I know Jasper…even better than I know myself. I could almost read it on his face. Even burning, he only concentrated on killing one person. Demetri. Demetri was the tracker. No one would escape if he lived. That was why Jasper ignored Felix tearing off his arm and Caius lighting him on fire to behead Demetri- for me and for our family. This isn't fair… this world should not exist without my Jasper.

Esme comes into my room without knocking. "They told me," she says softly, sitting on the edge of my bed. I don't respond. "Alice," she continues, rubbing my back, "you do realize my heart is breaking along with you? We will never heal unless you do." I continue to ignore her. I don't want to heal. "Alice, listen to me." "It has been twenty years." "We know how much he meant to you…" "You know NOTHING." I scream, shocking myself. I've never screamed at Esme. "It's MY fault." She pulls me up, quite against my will and holds me to her. "It is NOT your fault," she whispers fiercely, "Jasper was an adult who knew the risks." "He made the ultimate sacrifice for you… and for us." "No one is saying to get over him…or even forget him." "But we want you to come back to us." "Please," she says, sobbing herself, "all we ask is that you live." I don't respond. Empty words for my empty heart.

Esme holds me for what seems like hours. We keep this position until there's a knock at my door. "Family meeting downstairs," Carlisle calls from outside the door. Esme sits up and pulls me to my feet. "I wonder what's wrong," she says absently. I shrug. I have no idea either. I hope they're not going to try another 'intervention'. The last one was back in Canada, before we moved here.

The entire family was there. Also the rest of the pack: Embry, Quil, Leah, and Seth -the only survivors of the pack from the battle. "Alice," Edward had begun, "we've decided you need help." I crossed my arms across my chest. "Like what?" I asked. "This isn't healthy," he continued, "Jasper isn't coming back."

It ended there, before it even started. I screamed. I threw things. I used language that made Esme cover her ears and Bella stare at the floor. "I don't give a shit anymore," I screamed at them, "I don't want to be here… in this damn country… in this damn house… in this damn family!" "I want nothing except to join Jasper…can't you fucking understand that!" No one responded. "Do you think that's what he wants?" came a voice from behind me. Seth. "Or do you think he wants you happy and alive?" I snapped, leaping across the living room at Seth, who didn't even phase to protect himself. Leah did, so there were two women in the room that needed restraining. Another inch and I would've torn his throat out with my teeth, which would've been fatal. Vampire venom is toxic to him, not that I cared. Once I was restrained, I turned to Leah. "Let the bitch go," I snarled, my eyes black with hate. It was a bluff. Had she attacked, I would've dropped my hands and let her take me out. Edward must have known, because he made them take her outside. Once their grip was loosened on me, I ran back to my room and slammed the door. That was their last attempt at an 'intervention'.

Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, and Bella were the only ones waiting when we got downstairs. "We heard about your… situation… today," Carlisle began. I roll my eyes. Since when is my crying meeting-worthy? "Alice, this is serious," Carlisle continues, "your singer is at your school." Oh…that. I shrug. "Are we sure that's her singer?" Emmett asks. Edward nods. "I saw it in her mind…her reaction was the same as the first day I met Bella." I huff, angry at being the center of attention. "I can stay home," I suggest smugly. I have no desire to go to school anyway. "No," Edward replies, "she needs to be out…interacting with people." "Go to hell," I snarl. "Hush," Esme says sharply, "there is no need to be rude." I drop my head at being corrected. "Have you checked your visions?" Bella asks, "seen if it will be ok?" I huff again.

I don't use my visions anymore. Even when I get one, I ignore it and I sure don't try to 'see' anything anymore. What's the point? I know what tomorrow will bring- more pain. That, and when I needed them they were silent. "Please, Alice," Esme says hopefully, "at least try." They're not going to give up, are they? Edward shakes his head. He heard what I was thinking. "It would help us all tremendously if you would," Carlisle said gently. "It would help if you all would leave me alone," I reply sharply. "Tough," Edward says, equally sharp, "because you're going to school unless you have a vision that says otherwise." "Choice is yours." Seeing that I'm not getting out of this, I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. I'm not sure this is going to work, I haven't tried to "see" anything in two decades. To my surprise, my mind is flooded with a vision.

I'm standing in a clearing in the woods, next to a pretty mountain stream. There is a boy standing next to me with read hair and beautiful blue eyes. It's raining, though I'm protected slightly by a nearby dead tree with what looks like the remains of a fire surrounding it. He crooks his finger to me, motioning me to come closer. I take a deep breath and comply. He takes my hand and pulls me against his body, leaning down to kiss me on the mouth. My leg bends at the knee as my foot raises up behind me, the scene like something out of a sappy love story.

"NO!" I snarl, coming out of my vision. Edward is sitting on the couch, leaning forward with a huge gawk on his face. "Absolutely not!" I yell, furious. Damn visions. First they refuse to work, now they show me THIS. "What is it?" Bella ask, clearly nervous. "History repeating itself," Edward replies softly. I growl at him. No way! No damn way! "Alice, what did you see?" Esme says softly. "I'm not going to school," I reply curtly, "someone will die if I do." Edward's jaw drops even further. "Alice," he says softly, "you're not serious." "Dead serious," I snarl, "if I go to school, I'll kill him." "Kill who?" Carlisle asks. "Do you remember what Alice saw when I first met Bella?" Edward replies. "The meadow vision?" Everyone's head nods but mine. "Alice has seen that…only with her instead of me." "That's NOT going to happen," I roar, leaping to my feet. I'm so angry right now that my vision is being taken over by a reddish haze. "I'm betting on Alice," Bella replies flatly. Edward chuckles, hearing the double meaning. "Alice, this is good news," Esme says, beaming at me, "you deserve this kind of happiness." "Happiness?" I ask, still seething, "it was a human!" "And your point is?" Edward asks.

Things go downhill from here. Carlisle and Esme can't stop smiling. Edward is smiling too, but it's more of a smirk. Bella is quiet, chewing on her lower lip. Emmett, to my surprise, doesn't say a word. His face is a blank mask. "Was that him?" he finally asks, "was that vision of her singer?" Edward shrugs. "I couldn't smell him," Edward finally replies, "and we didn't see the boy's face earlier." "He had a cute butt… her singer, I mean," Bella says. Every eye in the room turns to her. "What?" she asks, "he did!" "They all look cute in those pants," Emmett replies. He looks really thoughtful right now. "I'll kill him," I blurt out. "You'll do no such thing," Edward fires back. "Yeah…I will," I snarl. Mary Alice Brandon Cullen!" Esme snarls. I visibly flinch. She's never done that. "You will NOT kill an innocent human. That is NOT what you are!"

I turn and bolt back up the stairs, slamming my much-abused door once again. Bella is on my heels. "I'm not here to convince you of your vision," she says, holding her hands up in a gesture of surrender. I don't reply. "Can I sit?" she asks. I shrug. She sits on the floor, thoughtful. "I need to tell you something," she says softly, "and all I ask is you hear me out." I feel my teeth grinding together. "Please, Alice," she says sadly, "I need my best friend to listen." I roll my eyes and sit down on the edge of the bed. "I am not here to convince you," she goes on, "that this mystery boy is your new love. I just want to convince you not to kill him. You don't want that…we don't want that…and Jasper wouldn't want that. We love you, Alice… and killing an innocent human isn't what you are. You were the rock in your relationship with Jasper. He wouldn't want this and you know it."

She moves quickly to the bed and wraps her arms around me tightly. "Please," she says, "ignore him if you must. But speaking as someone who's been in his shoes, remember it's not his fault." I nod absently. "I'll admit, I think everyone is right and he would be good for you. I'm just not going to push it. Just please…let the poor boy live."

She gently kisses my cheek and leaves the room. I don't move the entire night, the vision playing over and over in my head. This sucks. Who is this boy? Is he the one from the football field? Who is he and what's he doing here? I don't want him. I don't need him. I huff. I need Jasper. I need the strong, brooding vampire that was the perfect match for me. The one I had a vision about decades ago… shit, why did I think that? I sigh. Regardless, Bella is right. This is not his fault. He doesn't deserve to die. I remember Jasper telling me about his former life. How he had helped train newborn vampires. How he had been forced to destroy them after they'd outlived their usefulness. It wasn't their fault either. No, I'll ignore him. For Jasper.