2. Damages
Misaki sat in the visitor's chair and watched the Usui breathe.
She willed his every inhalation, and tensed every time he let it out. He wasn't in danger of dying, not officially, but coma patients were difficult. Sometimes they woke, sometimes they stayed as they were, and sometimes they just gave up. It was up to them really, and that was the scary part, because they didn't know it was up to them. They either had it in them to live or they didn't, to linger or to fold. Misaki knew Usui had it in him to pull through; the question was whether or not he would bother. That had always been the question with Usui.
Six weeks had passed since the accident. A couple of Misaki's vertebrae had been fractured, but luckily no permanent damage had been sustained, and after being given a special brace to wear for a while and a warning to take it easy, she'd been released.
She hadn't gone far. Usui's room was right down the hall from hers, and when she wasn't at school, work, or home, she was here. Her family and friends thought she came so often out of a misplaced sense of guilt, but if anything, guilt would have kept her away. The truth was she needed to be here. For him. Especially since no one in his family had bothered to stop by since the hospital had notified them. Misaki needed him to know that someone cared. That she cared. That he had a reason to come back.
She just hoped it was enough.
"Just think, Usui," she said to him. "All those times you wanted me to worry over you and now I am and you're not even conscious to enjoy it." Yes, he would appreciate the irony in that. When he woke up.
An older nurse appeared in the doorway. "Visiting hours are over for the day, honey."
"All right, I'm going." Misaki rose and went over to the bed. His bruising had faded mostly, and his two cracked ribs were mending well. His lung had been re-inflated and now worked fine. All that was left was for him to wake up.
"I'll be back tomorrow," she told him. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. Got that, Usui?"
No response besides the soft beeping of the heart monitor. On impulse, she reached out and ran a hand through his hair, turning it into pat halfway through. She remembered the first time she'd done that. How stupid she had felt, and how Usui had laughed, but then looked at her with such fondness in his eyes that she'd blushed hard enough to burn. It was painful how much she missed moments like that, or even those like the one that came after, when he'd ruined the moment thoroughly by asking if he could jump her.
Misaki pulled away and clenched her fists. "Idiot," she said. She was unsure whether she meant Usui, or herself.
The call came while she was at work. After over two months, Usui was stirring. He hadn't reached full consciousness yet, but his doctor was confident he would soon.
Misaki didn't even bother to change before taking off for the hospital. She threw on her coat, grabbed her purse, and ran from Maid Café with her coworkers cheering her on, wishing her luck and yelling for updates whenever she found the time to give them.
By the time she reached his room, he was awake. The relief at seeing him sitting up, eyes bright, made her knees buckle, and Misaki grabbed the doorframe to keep from collapsing. The doctor was there, a file in his hand and a frown on his face. Misaki didn't care if he disapproved of her dramatic entrance or her outfit. All the mattered was that Usui was awake. Awake and looking at her with that mischievous twinkle in his eye she loved and feared so much.
"Maid service?" he asked the doctor with lazy amusement, his gaze taking in Misaki's outfit with obvious approval. "This really is a great hospital."
Misaki laughed, she couldn't help it. Leave it to Usui for the first thing out of his mouth to her after waking up from a coma to be something stupid like that.
"Thank goodness," she said, her voice embarrassingly rough. Usui's lips twitched like he wanted to laugh.
"So passionate too. How much are you paying these maids, Doc? Whatever it is, it's not enough. Or are you just more dedicated than most?" This last question was directed at Misaki. She knew he was just teasing her, but she didn't know how to respond. Was he secretly asking her how much she was dedicated to him? How was she supposed to respond to that? And with the doctor in the room to witness it at that!
"Yes, well," the doctor said, clearly uncomfortable. "Ayuzawa-san, if I could speak with you in the hall for a moment…"
"Are you leaving so you can talk about me?" Usui asked, giving a mocking tsk. "That's not cool, Doc. And with the maid, too. There are HIPPA laws against that, I think."
It was a joke, just another joke. But something cold and heavy fell into Misaki's gut. Why would he be against the doctor informing her of his status?
The doctor cleared his throat, shooting her an apologetic glance. "Usui-san. This is the young lady I was telling you about. The one you saved in the accident. She'd been very worried about you."
Why was he explaining that to him? Usui knew what had happened, he was there! But at his words, Usui perked up, looking Misaki over a second time, and the thing in her gut grew colder and heavier as she realized his gaze wasn't just one of appreciation, but concentration. As if he were trying to place her. Which he wouldn't need to do unless he… well, unless…
"Ah, sorry," Usui said to her, scratching his head and making his already messy hair even messier. "Mind's a bit fuzzy, you know? Well, I guess you wouldn't since you just got here, but… I'm sure it will come back to me eventually." His eyes went wide. "Hey, it's not a big deal. You don't need to cry about it."
Was she crying? Damn it, she was. And he was looking at her with surprise, and pity, but not even a glimmer of recognition. Suddenly those maid jokes he'd been telling took on a whole knew meaning. They weren't his teasing way of saying hello to her like she'd initially assumed, but the sarcastic wit of a guy who suddenly found a strange, emotional maid inside his hospital room.
"It's not just the accident that he doesn't remember, is it?" she said to the doctor. "It's more than that. How much has he forgotten?"
"Ayuzawa-san, if you would just step outside I can explain—"
"How much!" she cried, scared by the panic in her voice, in her heart.
It was Usui who answered. "All of it."
Misaki snapped to look at him. His gaze was solemn now. He gave her a wry smile. "Honestly, I didn't even remember my own name until the doc here told it to me." He cocked his head, studying her. "Do I know you, little maid? Besides from the accident, I mean?"
Another cruel joke—this time by fate, not Usui. What was she supposed to tell him? Calling them friends was wrong. And they weren't more than that, really, and they definitely weren't less. Officially, they weren't anything. She'd thought, maybe, their relationship had been starting to topple that way. Towards something terrifying and beautiful and certainly more complicated than anything she'd experienced before. But now… now they were nothing.
So she settled on the most basic explanation. Keeping her tone well modulated she said, "I'm you're class president." Her tears had stopped at least. All she felt now was cold. Cold and lonely and sad. Whenever she'd felt like this before Usui would have appeared in that creepy, stalker way of his. He would have somehow known what was wrong and forced comfort on her until she accepted it, and then let her ream him for his high-handedness once she felt better. But that wasn't going to happen this time because Usui was sitting in that bed, and didn't even know who he was, much less anybody else.
"Class president?" He chuckled. "And you dress as a maid?"
"I work at a maid café—to help support my family," she explained, trying to sound dignified even as her voice kept slipping to a whisper. "It's easier than the manual work that's closer to home, even if it makes it harder to maintain class presidency."
"That sounds tough," Usui said, and Misaki had to look away, hearing the same words he'd spoken to her not so long ago, the first time she'd explained it all to him. He might not remember anything, but inside he was still the same Usui.
"I—no one else knows I do it besides my family and coworkers," she went on, unsure why she felt the need to explain this all again, right now, but needing to all the same. "And you." She glanced at him. "You knew too."
He looked at her, really looked, and she again got the feeling that he was fighting to remember. It said something that he wanted to, considering how hard it usually was to get him interested in anything. Or anyone.
"Knock-knock."
Misaki stiffened. Usui's brother, looking as dark and suave as ever and dressed in a crisp black suit and tie, stepped inside the room. He winked at Misaki as he passed by her, trailing the faintest scent of cigarette smoke, and Misaki fought the urge to gape as he parked himself next to Usui's bed with the outmost expression of concern plastered to his face.
"The nurse called and told me you were awake. She said you were having some memory loss…?"
Usui frowned. The doctor nodded. "I'm afraid so. We've tested him and he knows all the basics. His math and English skills are top notch. He remembers the geography of the city, along with pop culture and the latest politics. It's people he's forgotten."
"Who specifically?"
The doctor sighed. "Everyone. Everyone he knows personally, at least."
"Is that medically possible?"
"There's still so much we don't know about the human brain. Technically speaking, almost anything is possible."
Misaki didn't like the calculating glint in Gerard's gaze, but it vanished when Usui said, "So is this the butler?"
Gerard laughed. It gave Misaki chills. "No, no. Actually, I'm your brother, Takumi. Ha-ha. I'm surprised you didn't guess it. After all, many people say we look a lot alike."
And you use that to take advantage of them, Misaki thought, but she didn't dare say as much.
Usui look hard at his brother. Then he said, deadpan, "I don't see it."
Gerard forced another laugh. "Same as ever, I see, memory loss or no. Don't you agree, Misa-chan?"
Hearing her name on his lips made Misaki want to punch someone. Preferably him.
"You know Ayuzawa too?" Usui said.
"Of course! We're close friends, aren't we, Misa-chan?"
Misaki didn't know what kind of game he was playing, but to say no would be to start something that could turn very ugly, very quickly, and the last thing she wanted to do right then was make it harder for Usui.
"Close enough," she answered.
Usui was watching their exchange closely. He wasn't stupid. Even with the feigned levity the tension was thick in the air. She knew he felt it. Hell, the way the doctor was fiddling with the pages of his file, he felt it too. She struggled to think of something to do, say, to warn Usui, but with Gerard in the room and the situation as it was, retreat was unfortunately the only course of action for the moment.
"Well I better go," she said, making for the door. "I… I'm glad you're all right, Usui."
"You're leaving already?" She liked to think that under that bland expression he looked disappointed.
"Oh, I'll be around, don't worry." She made sure to look at Gerard as she said this. His smirk told her he'd gotten the message.
As she reached the hallway, she couldn't stop herself from glancing back one last time. Gerard was talking in eager tones with the doctor, but Usui was ignoring them; his gaze was still locked on her. Their eyes met and he smiled, a small crooked one that made her blush. She ducked out of the room and took off down the hall.
