I really wanted to update once every week, or perhaps every two weeks, I really did thought I could. But I spent two weeks without any internet connection, so... yeah, I couldn't upload anything. Though I had time to write. That's why I have already written the next chapter, but I won't upload until next week. Unless I happen to feel persuaded to do it earlier.
Thanks a lot for those two little beautiful reviews!
I hope you'll like the rest of the story.
Warning: I do not speak nor write English as fluently as I would like since it isn't my first language. So I'm really sorry if there are a lot of incoherences or words poorly used. If someone wants to beta reader my writings I would be grateful.
PD: I started to write this story inspired on a song: Still Here of Digital Daggers. If you want to, you can go hear the song. At least I thing it does goes with the mood. Every chapter tittle is inspired on the song verses.
Chapter two
The ghost by my side
Soul almost fell to his feet.
"What the hell?" he muttered.
"Soul-"
"No," he stopped her. Maka glared at him surprised. "You're not real. You can't be."
She smiled sadly.
Even if it was sadly, Soul felt his heart furiously throbbing at the sight of her smile.
He had missed it so much.
"I'm sorry to cut your dream, but I'm real," she said.
"What?"
"I'm real, Soul. You can't deny it."
"Oh, I'm sure I can."
Maka sighed. "Don't be like that. You know I'm real, you can feel it."
Soul turned around. He couldn't take this insanity anymore.
Seeing dead Maka wasn't as hurtful as it was seeing her. She seemed lively and happy—as she was actually there. Soul's heart was beating like crazy while building up a dream that would shatter him when he realised it was a dream.
He loved seeing her beautiful green eyes looking at him once again.
But knowing she was dead made him broke down even more.
Soul peeped behind him. She was no longer there.
No sight of her.
Off course she wasn't real. It was just a sick way of his imagination to push him to his limits.
And it was working pretty well.
Don't think about it anymore, Soul.
He needed a cup of coffee. Too much insanity for the day—and he had been awake for just five minutes.
"You can feel our souls resonating," she said, appearing by his side when he was about to grab his mug.
Soul shivered.
"You fucking scared me."
"Sorry," she laughed.
Her laugh.
Soul decided to ignore her once again.
"I'm not going to leave you alone until you recognise me," Maka said. Soul knew she was following him and even though she did not made any sound while moving, his soul could detect where her soul was.
He was never a good living radar like Maka or Kid but he indeed could always tell where his meister was.
Perks of having an unbelievably good resonation.
At least when she was alive.
"You can feel me-"
"Stop saying that over and over!" he snapped.
Maka stayed silent and her eyes showed how surprised she was.
Why was he feeling guilty over shouting to an allucination? Maybe it was because of her eyes. Too real, too green. Just the way he had loved about her.
They remained silent until Maka sighted.
"Maybe you do need time to think this over," she said.
Soul looked at her one last time before she disappeared into thin air.
He was right.
She wasn't real.
But why was his soul tricking him into believing she was?
.
"Soul!"
Liz called him from the distance but he chose to ignore her. Nothing ever ended up good when Liz and her gang arrived. He couldn't even remember the last time he felt relived at their presence.
He turned around to keep walking.
"Hey! Don't ignore me!"
Sorry, not happening.
"I need to talk to you!"
Still not interesting enough.
He stayed focused on getting out of Shibusen.
Even after Maka's death, his position of the last Death Scythe linked him to Shibusen—and also forced him to keep working with any meister available. He hated it and no matter how good they were, it was never as the team he and Maka formed. It was impossible for someone else to resonate with him.
He didn't want to, anyways.
"You should talk with her," said Maka. She was standing on the door at the end of the corridor.
Soul frowned.
"I don't want to," he muttered.
Everyone knew he was crazy and a lot of black blood messed up his mind, but talking alone wasn't something he wanted to add to his weirdness.
"Stop being so difficult, Soul," she sighed. "You need to stop your isolation."
"I'm not isolated!"
"Eh… 'kay, but I wasn't going to say that," Liz said.
Soul almost froze. Without realising, he stopped walking when Maka appeared and Liz was able to reach him. And on top of that, he shouted at her—at least by her point of view.
Maka laughed behind him.
It was her idea all along. She knew she couldn't convince him, so she just planned to distract him enough time for Liz to arrive.
He couldn't escape anymore.
"… I'm sorry," he murmured.
He looked up at Maka, but she was gone again.
Liz tried to smile. "No worries."
Silence was common between them. There was nothing to talk about, there was no connection. Until Maka died, he never noticed that the only link between him and the rest of the group was her. Maka. Without her, he couldn't call them friends.
"So," Liz said. She seemed uncomfortable. "I really want to come with us to her grave. It won't be just us, though. A lot of people is coming. We're going to honour the death of one of the greatest meisters and veteran of war against the Kishin."
"I won't go."
"Soul," she kept saying, her voice even softer than before. "You're her partner and the last Death Scythe. It's a formality, but you were her best friend. It shouldn't be an obligation but something you want to do. That's why I won't force you. If you really don't want to go, no one will drag you there."
She talked too much. His ears hurted. And his heart, too. He knew all that since the beginning, but he couldn't bring himself to visit her grave.
Not yet.
"Then when, Soul?" he heard Maka saying.
Soul couldn't see her but he knew she was there.
His soul knew she was there.
"I… don't know."
Liz touched his shoulder. "Then will you at least considered it?"
He didn't know either if his answer was for Liz or Maka.
And he didn't want to think about that.
"I've been lonely," Maka said, but it wasn't her soft voice anymore. It was dark and creepy. It was behind Liz. "You abandoned me."
"I—I didn't-"
"What?" Both Liz and Maka said.
His head ached so much.
It started to cry and crumbling.
"Soul, what's wrong?" asked Maka.
She finally appeared, looking directly into his eyes. She held her arm to his direction but didn't touch him.
He wanted to touch her.
And kiss her.
But she was death. Why was he still able to see her?
Liz was the one who grabbed his wrist and shacked him. "Hey, are you listening me?"
He hadn't notice.
It and Maka were different entities. Because it was still falling piece by piece in the back of his mind. And Maka was there, her wavelength soothing him.
Maybe he was more crazy than he thought.
It was screaming.
And his head hurt even more.
Liz didn't let go of his wrist at any moment. "Are you feeling well? You're too pale."
He wouldn't have answer at any other situation, but Maka glared at him so lovingly and worried that something opened up in him.
"I'm not."
"Go to the infirmary," Maka said to him.
He nodded.
"Maybe I should."
"What do you mean?" Liz muttered.
He forgot about her.
Soul wanted to reply but his mouth wasn't functioning anymore.
The last thing he saw was the impotent expression Maka had.
.
"Soul-"
He didn't let her talk.
"Stop-" Maka insisted but she was out of breath. And Soul didn't let go of her lips enough time for her to form an entire sentence.
She didn't put resistance, though. And Soul didn't wanted to stop.
"I was being serious, Soul," Maka moaned adoringly when he finally let her go to caught breath.
Soul laughed slightly. "I know."
"You need to stop doing that," she said.
Maka was trying to sound mad but her rosy cheeks and how she was still hugging him didn't help her. Soul just smirked, showing his shark teeth.
"Don't laugh at me!"
"I'm not!"
"But you are laughing!"
"I'm not laughing, I just find you adorable," he responded, hugging her even tighter.
Soul loved to cuddle.
"Get up, we need to get ready," Maka said.
"Don't want to."
"Soul."
He understood her threat even without mentioning it.
"… fine."
Maka unwrapped her arms from around his waist and gave him a light kiss before jumping out of bed. "Good to know you're finally being obedient without a Maka-chop," she mentioned happily.
"That's only because now you actually have a threat that'll make me follow your orders," he said jokingly.
She looked at him over her shoulder while tiding her hair up.
"And a broken skull wasn't much of a threat?"
"I lived up with that," he shrugged.
Maka laughed. Her pigtail tickledhis skin when she leaned over him. "Get up."
"Just one more," he pleaded, wrapping his arm around around her neck to pull her closer.
"And you'll actually get ready now?"
Soul smirked. "Promise."
"Such an empty promise," Maka complained but kissed him anyways.
Although it was meant to be just a peak kiss, Soul managed to lay her in the bed over him, not letting her to get up and escape. Just like minutes ago, Maka fell in the temptation Soul was. She had no will when Soul slowly caressed her skin and kissed him like only he could.
But they were running late. And Soul was slowly making his way through Maka's skirt.
"Soul, enough," she said against his lips.
Their breath intertwined.
So soothing, so sensual.
"I know you don't want to," he growled.
"You're wrinkling my clothes," Maka protested. It sounded more like a pity excuse.
"You don't seem to mind it at night."
Maka groaned. She was starting to get annoyed.
"If you keep doing this, I won't come to your room to wake you up and I'll go straight to a Maka-chop."
Soul moaned miserably. "Not those times again."
"Then don't complain and get up," she said. "And let me get up too. We'll miss the plane if we don't go out now."
"Now?"
"Now," she said dangerously.
Nothing he wanted at that moment.
Soul finally released her, and Maka got up to flatten her clothes.
"Were are we going?" he asked while lazily sneaking out of bed.
"England."
Now was Soul turn to groan. "Do we have to?"
"There's no option," Maka shrugged. Soul couldn't see her expression and her voice remained painfully serious. "Shinigami-sama himself sent us there as diplomacy. No big deal, just some random gathering party. It seems that the queen wants to celebrate peace with the witches. It took a long time, if you ask me. Two years had passed since the treatment."
"And yet we still have to fight as Spartoi. Such a pain in the ass," Soul complained.
He had listened to Maka's speech while getting dressed up. It didn't matter anymore that he slept just in boxers—after a whole year of living together as a couple, even if anyone else knew, Maka had seen a lot more of him in nudity. At the beginning she was pretty nervous every time he walked naked around the apartment but eventually got used to it.
Also, Soul's head finally was able to rest in peace for longer periods of time. It was thanks to the change in attitude Maka had after they started going out, which was a miracle. All began the day they graduated and Maka was notified as Shibusen's ambassador in Japan—since her mom was Japanese and she was now an honour graduated technician—until they found a replacement.
That meant she going to start working with another weapon. And he, with another technician.
Soul couldn't take that. So he did an stupidity.
He confessed to Maka.
It was a good idea if they were normal people. But Maka was a dangerous athletic technician that helped defeat the Kishin when no other human could have been able to endure it. She had anger issues. And on top of that, she had a fear of men which seemed more like hatred.
Not even he knew how he managed to sort things out with her.
It kind of just magically happened after the long rainy day in which Shinigami-sama retracted his decision to send her over to Japan.
"There's nothing we can do about you being the last Death Scythe," Maka said while walking towards the kitchen. Soul followed behind.
A cup of coffee.
Maka loved coffee.
"If I had known that being a Death Scythe was such a horrible task, I wouldn't have leave Arachne to Killik or anyone else."
He waited for her reaction but nothing came. No laugh, no comment. Maka still wasn't looking at him.
"Maka?" he asked, making his way through her waist to catch her attention.
She flinched. "Sorry."
"What's in your mind?"
Soul rested his chin over her shoulder. They had been the same height for a long time but now he was taller. Even so, he wasn't able to put a head difference in height between them. He was content with her shoulder, though. Easy access to her neck.
"I may have forgotten to tell you something," she said softly.
"What is it?"
Maka didn't responded nor moved for a few seconds. "I'll tell you when we arrive at London."
Mysterious. Maka wasn't a secret keeper. She was direct and fearless.
Soul raised an eyebrow. "You're making me curious."
Finally, Maka laughed slightly. Her head turned to his direction. He was finally able to see her expression. It was just like always, the Maka he knew and loved. "I know," she said before kissing him.
"Ugh, coffee."
Soul hated coffee.
Although kissing surpassed the horrible coffee's taste that remained on her lips, he complained every time it happened.
"If you keep on being such a crybaby I won't kiss you anymore." Maka escaped from his arms and sipped his coffee again.
His horrified expression amused her.
Maka laughed again, louder this time. "Be ready in ten!"
And she disappeared when the door was shut.
He stayed there, leaned against the counter. The coffee lingered on his lips but it didn't gross him. Maybe it was Maka's doing. No—it was because of her comment. He wanted to be able to kiss her and enjoy it completely.
Not even once had he thought about drinking coffee. He could definitely do it for Maka. It wasn't an easy task, though.
Half the time, Maka was drinking coffee.
He was going to take a liking on coffee, Soul promised himself.
And the next time he caught her reading and drinking it in the sofa, he was going to enjoy the sour taste from her mouth. It was Maka's taste after all, so much like her.
"I can do it!" he whispered shouted to himself.
He never had to the chance try himself because Maka never came back alive.
.
The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was a faded image of Maka's face looking at him directly from above. He could see the lamp hanging from the roof through Maka.
"You're awake!" she exclaimed.
Her body recovered the stiffness of a normal human after returning to the ground. She looked alive.
Soul had a hard time processing the scene before him. "Did you just… floated?"
Maka giggled. "I did! I didn't know I could. I just found out a few minutes ago."
"So you've been starting at my face for minutes?"
"Correct."
"That's creepy as hell."
Maka shrugged. "I don't care."
"Such a cheap version of Maka," Soul said. "She would have never done that."
"I did it," she said.
Soul felt more confused than before. "What do you mean?"
"I did that a lot when I was… alive," she struggled to get the word of her mouth. Even as an allucination, every part of Soul couldn't bring himself to accept the fact that she was no longer alive. "When you were asleep. I liked to see your face. It seemed so peaceful."
The hysterical laugh that leaved Soul's mouth surprised Maka. It didn't sounded like him. Even he knew that. He sounded like the little devil inside his mind.
"Go away," he said.
"Soul," Maka tried to explain herself in a rush. "You're not being reasonable. Calm yourself."
"You come from my imagination. I should be able to get ride of you."
"You can't."
"Just go away."
He was getting desperate.
"Do you really expect me to go away?" Maka murmured. Her voice was thin but full sadness. "You want me to go away when can't even get rid of whatever was tormenting you before?"
"How can you still pretend to be real when you know about that?" Soul growled. The blanket prevented him from looking at her.
He sensed how it was starting to appear. It always made its entrance when he was emotionally unstable.
"It's just a guess, and you just confirmed it to me," Maka said.
Even if he couldn't see her, Soul knew she was looking at him.
"How?"
"It doesn't take much to notice it, Soul. I think even Liz understood it," she informed. "You were glaring at a wall. Intensively looking at a wall, I may say. And then you seemed surprised I was there, as if you didn't expect me to be there."
"Get to the point," he groaned. Maka was rambling with her words. After living with her for years, he noticed every time she was being cautious.
"Did you saw another me?" she finally asked.
The answer was in his silence, and she knew that. Maka sighed.
"Since when?"
"Does that even matter?"
"I just want to help you."
"Well, you are doing an impressive job there, Maka," he said sarcastically.
She ignored his sarcasm. "She says things to you, doesn't she?"
"You are telling me things too, why wouldn't it?"
"It?"
"The Maka I see isn't real. She's not the Maka I knew. Neither are you. Neither of you deserve to be treated as a person."
Why couldn't he keep living with Maka he saw in his memories? He wanted to keep remembering her—her laugh, her kisses, the way her pigtails caressed his skin when he hugged her. His allucination were killing all of those.
After a whole minute in silence, Soul cautiously let the blanket fall.
Maka was crying.
He had the impulse to reach her but stopped mid-way. She wasn't real. He shouldn't be concerned about an allucination, not even if it resembled Maka too well.
"You really don't believe me," she sobbed.
It kind of sounded like a question. As if she was clinging to her last hope.
Soul directed his eyes to the wall. He couldn't stand to see her crying anymore, not even if she wasn't real.
It was breaking his heart.
"I don't."
"Don't you what, Soul?"
He had been so focused on not looking at Maka that he didn't noticed when the door opened.
Marie was standing in the doorway.
And Maka was nowhere to be seen.
Soul shocked his head. "Nothing."
"Good to know," Marie said. She smiled at him. "Liz was pretty freak out when Kid brought you here. She saw you talking alone and then faint."
"Kid?"
Marie nodded. "He was here doing paperwork since the office is on vacation. Apparently he felt something weird and found you when you just fainted."
Soul hadn't talk to Kid since Maka's death. They had meet each other from time to time when Black Star forced him to go out of his apartment, but there was no interaction between them. And Kid didn't made any effort on talking. So it was surprising he was the one to carry him all the way to the infirmary.
"You were exhausted," Marie continued saying. "Have you been sleeping well?"
"Do I look like someone that sleeps well?"
Marie sighed. "As difficult as ever. Anyways, I'll give you some pills for you to sleep. Use them well, Soul."
"Can I go now?"
"You can stay if you want."
That wasn't even an option for him. There were too many people in Shibusen. Too many people that knew Maka.
He just wanted to go away.
"Wait, Soul," Marie stopped him when he was already at the door. "Maybe you should transfer your mission to someone else. You're exhausted. You'll have a hard time defeating a Kishin by yourself in your condition even if you're a Death Scythe."
"I won't."
"Are you trying to go to England to go… there?"
There. Where Maka died.
Soul just shut the door without responding.
.
He had his suitcase ready since the morning, so he didn't need to rush. Everything was prepared for his flight to England that night.
Nothing else to do for the rest of the day.
He served his cup of coffee and fell on the couch.
For some reason, he almost expected Maka to appear out of nowhere to ask him when did he started to like coffee. But it didn't happened. He achieved his mission to scare away Maka.
The red light was still flashing on the phone.
Soul forgot to hear the second voicemail.
He pressed the buttom.
"Soul, I want to talk to you about something. It's… about Maka. Something I should have told you before. I hope you'll come to honour her grave with us. I'll tell you then. Also… there's something else happening. I don't know what. But that's another theme. See you at Wednesday."
Kid. It was from yesterday.
Weird.
Soul decided to ignore his voicemail. The red light was no longer flashing, so he had nothing else to hear.
He wasn't going to her grave tomorrow, anyways.
Because he was leaving today to England.
"Maka," he called.
Was he actually summoning her presence? He did it without thinking.
"I'm here," she answered.
Maka was sitting on the couch. No longer crying. She smiled softly at him.
"Do you know what Kid wants to tell me? He said its about you."
Soul was challenging her. He still didn't believe she was real, but after thinking during all the way from Shibusen to his apartment, he decided it wasn't so bad to have a nice company.
It hurt him. But she was too much like Maka, and I'm even his soul tricked him into believing she was real.
"I don't know what's inside Kid's mind," she said. Maka hugged her legs to her chest. Something she usually did. "But I think I know what he may want to tell you."
"Really? Then I must be pretty creative."
She sighed. "I won't tell you now, even if that would make you believe in me."
"I'm not surprised. Off course I wouldn't know what Kid wants to tell me."
Soul was pushing her limits and he knew why. He was resentful. Kid knew something about Maka that he didn't knew. Her partner—her boyfriend didn't knew something that a friend did. Although that was no reason to piss Maka off, it did made him lighter to throw his anger and sadness to someone.
"If you keep on being like that, then I'll go," she said sadly. "You don't want me here."
"You're right, I don't," he lied.
Soul caught Maka's eyes.
Notice it. I want you to stay. I desperately want you to be here with me.
She averted her eyes. "Fine."
And she disappeared into thin air.
