It's kind of lonely here...reviews? Anyway, I was so excited for the next part, I started this new chapter. I hope you enjoy, readers!


Chapter 2

You are back at your dorm room, lying in bed, but your mind is alert, racing with opportunities. How could you break into that room and discover what was behind it? There was no way that you could break in without being noticed. But you needed to know.

Angrily, you fiddle with the edge of the cloth. Why did it have to be so hard? Why did Byakuya had to be so hard to read? You look down in defeat, letting out a shaky breath.

You look up when you hear a knock on your door. You stare at the wood for a while, lost in your thoughts, and absently say, "Come in."

You are surprised to find the captain himself, Captain Kuchiki at the door.

"You are late for dinner."

You jump, and immediately look outside the window. You hadn't realized how late it was, busy in your own pondering about Byakuya. How would you explain this to the captain?

"Is there something wrong?" His serious eyes seemed to bore right through you. All you do is look down, still thinking about the door, kept secretive.

That's it. You wouldn't sneak through that stupid door. You would tell Byakuya straight-out how you felt, and that was all. It was his fault if he didn't understand.

"Captain Kuchiki..." You gulp for a second, and fear fills you. What will happen if you say it? You will surely be punished if you bring Hisana up, especially at a time like this. However, you need to get your message across. You must push away that fear. Sighing, you continue, "What does it take...to understand you? What does it take to be close to you, to be your friend...? I want to understand you, but how? It's not fair..."

A tear surprises you by rolling down your cheek. You dab at it, and suddenly glare at him. "Why do you have to be so emotionless about how you feel? I want to help. I know this is only my first day, but I will stay strong, and be the best third-in-command I can be. But how can I do it if I don't understand my own captain? Tell me!"

Surprise flickers in his eyes. He would never have guessed that you thought that way. He takes a deep breath, his gray eyes suddenly seeming sad.

"So, they told you about Hisana, is that right?"

You wince. You hadn't wanted to bring that up into this heated conversation. It made everything worse. You wanted to respect your captain and look up to him, not bring his personal matters in.

"Y-yes, but I still will look up to you for inspiration, for strength, for respect. But I just want to know why...why can't I befriend you?"

The captain stood still in the doorway, his eyes looking over you carefully. Then, he looks away. "Don't get me wrong, but I am not willing to talk about that. I can see that you want to understand me, to be a friend. However, it is harder than it looks. Everything has been hard. Trust me, I do have feelings. I just don't wish to discuss this no longer."

He walks away in that prideful manner, making you call out, "Wait! Please..." More tears fall, and you run to his side. "I need you to wait. You have to stop ignoring others. You need to listen to me. I want to understand you, can't you see?" You crumple to the ground, sobbing hard. This was such a useless attempt. You must look pathetic to your captain...

So, you are shocked to find a hand on your arm. The touch was soft and reassuring, and the skin burned where Byakuya had touched you.

"You are quite different than the others, you know that? You're quite stubborn, yet true to yourself. I can see it in your eyes. You try to understand those who need it."

Your eyes widen, and you shake a little. His tone was now so soft and welcoming, so unlike his personality, that it made your heart beat faster.

"I-I guess so..." you squeak out, wiping your glasses and sniffing. You force yourself up, taking a deep breath. "I shouldn't have taken this too far. I'm sorry, Captain Kuchiki. I took this too far. I just have a dislike for some things...I will take any punishment you give me." You turn away, wanting to run away from this situation entirely.

His gray eyes studied me once more, narrowing a bit, and then he sighed so softly, that you almost can't hear it. Then, he said, "I'll leave to give you some time to relax, but try to not make it a habit of not coming to dinner. Someone could get suspicious."

You nod, knowing that he was being very nice, despite the way you had talked to your captain.

He is a strange person...

You watch as Byakuya Kuchiki leaves the hall, leaving you on the ground and pondering what had just happened.


You stay in your bedroom, the tears all now dried and your breathing normal again. You knew there was no hope in understanding Byakuya. He had locked away his emotions for too long, and had faced too much. You know you can never understand him.

You decide to take a walk to calm yourself down, and to make it easier to conceal what had happened. You didn't think Byakuya would appreciate this news coming out of his third-command begging like a stupid puppy. That was a rash move, and you know it was wrong. But you had to do something to let him know the truth.

And look where that went.

You know that before you head outside, you'll have to face your to-be-friends that you hadn't seen at lunch. It looks like you couldn't take a walk after all. It would make no sense to take a walk and ignore them, or they'll suspect something was wrong. You had to socialize with them first.

You push aside the straw sliding door, to find some people laughing at chatting. Byakuya was not in sight, probably at his office. He didn't seem like the person who would socialize with people, and that fact was relieving to you. You wouldn't have to face him for a while.

You stroll in, acting as natural as possible, letting a fake smile spread across your face.

"Hey, guys. Sorry that I didn't come for dinner, but I'll admit that I wasn't feeling hungry. As some of you may know, it's my first day, and I'm glad to have the privilege of being your third-in-command!" You grin and bow to them, even though inside, all you want to do is curl up and cry.

"Glad we'll be working with you," one said.

"She's pretty..." another whispers.

"Shut up, will you? This isn't how you meet someone," a person groans, pushing through the crowd. You find out that it is the lieutenant, Renji Abarai.

"It's nice to meet you again, Lieutenant Abarai," you say respectfully.

"Hey, hey," The red-head holds his hands up. "No need for formalities. You can call me Renji."

You stare at him like he had gone crazy. You knew that he was certainly different than Byakuya, but he didn't even want to be called by his formal name? Even then, you know he would be a great friend, and much more approachable than Captain Kuchiki.

"Thanks, Renji." You smile, and this time, it is genuine. It wouldn't be so bad, even with serious-faced Captain Kuchiki.


Your eyes jolt open to darkness. It is the middle of the night, but you hear a strange knocking at your door. You immediately sit up, rubbing your eyes drowsily. Who could it be at an hour like this? You peer out of the window, and see the moon, reflecting off of the waters of the lake nearby. You admire the beauty of the sky and stars, and avert your eyes to the door.

You stand up in your socks on the wood floor, quickly straightening your hair with a finger. The world is strangely blurry, until you realize that you don't have your glasses on. You quickly pick them up from the nightstand and place them over your ears, and then make a run for the door and swing it open.

Behind it was Captain Kuchiki.

You nearly jump out of your pants as you stare at him in disbelief. What was he doing here? Was he going to punish you for your actions the previous day? Your brain whirls with possibility as you wait for his response.

His black hair, usually adorned with three hairpieces, was now loose and straight. Well, he obviously didn't sleep with them. He was in a white robe, and the Division 6 symbol was printed at the back. He stares at you with serious eyes, and his mouth opens to speak.

"I hope you don't mind me showing something. You must not tell anyone about what I am about to show you. I thought you deserved to know..." He turned away without even waiting for a response or for you to catch up.

You quickly hurry ahead in your night robe, feeling clumsy as you trip around in its long length. Meanwhile, Byakuya walked evenly and pridefully in his robe, not even tripping once, and walking in a straight line. You follow him to a sliding straw door.

The door that Captain Kuchiki had forbidden you to go through.

Your heart beats faster as he opens the door. You struggle to peer over his shoulder, and found an empty room with square tiles. There was nothing in it.

That was it? He was hiding an empty room?

But then you realize that there is a door at the long end of the room.

You continue following him into the room and to the other door. He opens that, too.

You keep on travelling through a maze of empty rooms and doors, until you have the feeling that this trip will never end. But then, when he opens yet another door, you realize that it is bigger than the others, and embroidered with gold at the seams. This was it. The secret that Byakuya Kuchiki had been hiding. They had finally reached their destination.

You find yourself in a room that was organized like a temple. There were portraits of so many people you didn't even study about in school plastered on the walls. In the middle was a single, small portrait on a small table, with incense sticks burning smoke in front of the portrait. The picture was of a young women with dark hair that was straight and curved at the ends, and bangs covered her face, and were split apart in two. Her violet blue eyes were soft and gentle, and she looked polite, soft, and kind. Only some of her kimono was visible, but it was beautiful, with flowers and other fancy designs. It must have taken painstaking work for them to complete that kimono, and it was a shame that it was unknown of the full image of it.

But who was that girl the portrait of? And why did she look so familiar, yet different?

Suddenly, a deep voice penetrates your thoughts. "That is Hisana Kuchiki, my wife. She looks exactly like Rukia, if you have noticed. She was a beautiful woman before she passed away..." His voice trails off, but his face stays emotionless and cold as ever.

"How do you handle it?" you suddenly blurt out before you can stop it. "How do you look so serious?"

Byakuya side-glances at you, and murmurs, "I have learned to handle it, and not let regrets hang me low. I will stay strong, even though I will always be secretly mourning for her. That is the answer."

You nod, and look down. So this was the root of it all, the place that Byakuya had left his feelings, his joy, his agony.

"I still don't get it..." you whisper. "If something like that happened to me, Byakuya, I would feel a lot of pain for it, and I might've never gotten over it."

Your eyes suddenly flare wide, noticing that you had called the captain by his first name for the very first time. Why had you done that?

You are even more surprised when he doesn't even say a word about it. He just looks at you, almost as if he was looking through you. "To be honest, I haven't gotten over it. I have not even remarried ever since, and I never find any color to the world. I just stand here and let my regrets go here. Then, I walk away, and then I don't feel anything else."

You feel these words spin in your head. "Why did you tell me this out of all people? You're so serious and dignified, and I would have completely understood if you had kept it a secret. I had given up by then in understanding you..." You force yourself to let your blue eyes make contact with his. Then, you let out a deep breath, continuing, "Besides, you didn't seem to want to tell me anything, considering the way you always act so serious..."

Byakuya stares at Hisana's portrait, the incense still burning and the smoke being released through an open window. "You are different than the others. You are the only one who tried to understand me. I find that strange, but I suddenly wanted you to know. It doesn't make sense, but you seemed like the right person."

Feeling light-headed, you eye the ground, with its detailed wood floor carvings. The right person? You were still confused. Even then, you were secretly glad inside that he had shared his secret with you out of all people. Maybe you were one step closer to figuring this man out. It was a small step, but it was still progress!

Then, in a whisper so soft that even Byakuya cannot hear, you whisper, "Don't worry. One day, I'll revive that broken heart of yours. I want to understand you, and I will help you, even if you don't appreciate it." A determined, icy gaze replaces your once confused eyes. "I can do this. Trust me."