Trigger warning: mentions of suicidal thoughts in the first POV.
I have a picture
Pinned to my wall
An image of you and of me and
We're laughing, we're loving it all
Saturday, January 5th, 2008
Malfoy Manor
7:22 pm
Narcissa skipped dinner.
Nobody would notice, she thought as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Narcissa had always been a lanky person, and it would be hard to tell that she had missed a single meal. She could always make it up later...right? Right?
She wasn't even that old yet, only 52. Yet, Narcissa felt like she'd been stuck here for at least 100 years, each of them slowly ticking away. Sometimes, she felt too tired to get up and live; instead, she felt hollow, empty. Trapped in the middle of a warzone.
Alone.
Get up, she whispered to herself. Wake up. What are you waiting for? He's not coming back.
"I can't," Narcissa whispered to the frail, pale, tried woman staring back at her. Her eyes slowly drifted past herself and to the corner of her room. Maybe...just maybe...she could catch a glimpse of him, standing there, watching her. Would he be proud of her, knowing she had let herself whither away like this? Would he still love her, knowing that she had given herself much to long to mourn? What would he tell her?
She imagine Lucius pulling her into his arms as she placed her head on his shoulder. his lips brushed past her ears and his voice was like silk. "You are stronger than this," he told her. "You're a witch. You're a powerful witch. Get up and move on. Get up and live."
"I love you..." Narcissa said. Nobody responded.
There was a knock at the door.
"Lady Malfoy?" It was Linny, one of the house elves. "Draco is tolds me you be inside?"
"I'm fine."
There was silence, then Narcissa jumped as the elf suddenly appeared beside her, holding a cup of mint tea. "Lady Malfoy isn't not sounding fine? Linny thinkings Lady Malfoy is worried. Linny is bringings to Lady Malfoy tea to calms her down!"
Narcissa accepted the cup with shaky hands; she almost came close to spilling it, but was finally able to set the cup down on her vanity.
"Does Lady Malfoy requires anything else of Linny?"
"No...that will be all."
Linny left and Narcissa was alone once more. She glanced back at the corner of her room. There hung a picture of her and Lucius on their wedding day. Narcissa subconsciously traced a scar on the back of her leg as she remembered the occasion. She had gone for something fancier than Bellatrix, with a vibrant white ballgown and a bouquet or marigolds. Lucius had borrowed a tophat and cane from her father. The ceremony was stiff and formal. But Narcissa Malfoy had been smiling the whole time.
When was the last time she had smiled?
Why was she here?
What pushed her to keep going when she felt no reason to?
She could just die.
Nobody would miss her.
She would be with Lucius again.
Happy again.
Narcissa clutched her wand as her hands started shaking again. She pointed the tip of her wand at her chest. She opened her mouth to speak, but her voice caught in her throat. She coughed, once, twice, then tried again. "Av...Avada..."
She couldn't do it.
The wand slipped between her fingers and landed at her feet. Narcissa slumped back into her chair. She had no drive to keep going...she could just end it all, but she couldn't. What kind of woman was she, to give up just because she was going through a difficult time? What Malfoy took the easy way out because something was hard? What would Draco think? What would Pansy think? What would her grandkids think?
She had a feeling she knew what Lucius would tell her. He would hold her close (oh, she loved it when he did that) and he would remind her that she was Narcissa Malfoy. Brave, beautiful, cunning, ambitious, ruthless. Narcissa Malfoy was strong and Narcissa Malfoy could take care of herself.
She couldn't die.
Because Lucius Malfoy had died so Narcissa Malfoy could live.
So Narcissa simply picked up her wand and it back on the vanity.
You say I'm a dreamer
We're two of a kind
Both of us searching
For some perfect world
We know we'll never find
Saturday, January 5th, 2008
The Weasley Estate
8:56 pm
Lying on his bed in pajamas and a bathrobe, Ron was perfectly ready to call it a night. He needed to sleep this day over, anyways. So many things thrown to him at once, it was hard to wrap his head around it all.
First, news of Voldemort's plan to expand his power. Then, Bill and Fleur's plans to move to France with their daughters. Thinking about it now, without another conversation going on or everybody screaming at once, the situation saddened Ron.
He always thought he had what it took, to face that damned Dark Lord and bring him to his knees. He always imagined the possibility of starting a family with Hermione, two or three kids involved, and growing up in a nice, big house a few miles down from his family and friends. He could become an Auror, catching criminals on the run.
Now he was on the run.
In the connecting bathroom, the faucet was switched on. Ron just watched as Hermione wet a toothbrush and tried to force Harry to clean his teeth. Every night, always an entertaining battle. Sometimes, Harry refused and sulked, other times he happily obeyed and then insisted on brushing Whitey's teeth as well. And occasionally, Ron would have to intervene, and then there was the extremely rare times, where all three of them would end up covered in water and toothpaste.
As Hermione chased Harry around the bathroom, Ron heard someone knock at the door. He lazily slumped across the bedroom to answer it.
"Ron."
"George."
"May I come in?"
"Don't mind the mess."
George snickered. He dropped into the chair at a desk in the corner of the room, piled with books. Ron just sat cross-legged on his bed. At first, they stared at each other. While George hadn't really let himself go, Ron thought that he really changed ever since they lost Fred and Ginny. He was a little tubbier. He didn't have a beard, but rather messy red stubble all around his chin. The bags under hi eyes were more noticeable. George used to cover up his injury with bandage but now, the side of his face missing an ear was on display for everyone to see.
It was unnerving, Ron thought, but only to the adults. The kids didn't know, and they couldn't care less. Just another party trick up Uncle George's sleeve.
"Bill and Fleur are moving to France," George muttered.
"I know, I was there when they said it."
"Tells you a lot about the situation, doesn't it? It's so unsafe here, just to hide, that they have to try and find a way out of the country without getting caught."
"I think it's because of the baby." Ron flicked a piece of lint off his robe. "Fleur's been a bit more paranoid ever since they had Claire."
"It's called being a parent, Ron." George's eyes narrowed. "What kind of father am I if I never worried about my children? Don't you ever worry about Harry?"
"Of course I do! He's my son. George, what is it that worried you so much?"
"You promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise."
"And you won't tell Mum before I do."
"George." Ron's tone was firm. "Just tell me."
"Katie and I have been considering moving to America."
Ron just stared at his brother as the words went through his head. George...brother...moving...America...gone...away...alone...
"Katie's older sister moved to somewhere in California back in '96. Katie's trying to owl her and see if we can come live with her. I think it's nice for Freddie and Shelley to meet the other side of their family. They can attend Ilvermorny when they're old enough."
It was clear George had thought most of his plan out. But the idea of another brother moving away, another brother saying goodbye...Ron just nodded, unsure of how to respond. "I...yeah, I guess if I were in your shoes, I'd do the same thing. You do...you..you do realize Mum..."
"Yep, she's gonna freak." George gave his younger brother a small smile. "Honestly, it's a big decision, and it's driving me nuts having to do this. Do you remember the meltdown she had when she realized Percy couldn't come live with us?"
"That was a nightmare."
The bathroom door creaked open. Ron could tell Hermione was listening in on the conversation, but he didn't care.
"And did you see how upset she was that Bill's leaving? Ron, if we weren't in so much danger, I'd never leave. I'd tear the letter out of Katie's hands and tell her we're staying. But she's scared...I'm a bit scared myself. I don't want Freddie and Shelley to grow up fearing their lives for no good reason. I want them to be safe. I love Mum, and I love you too, but they're my kids. God, I'd kill myself if I let anything happen to them!"
George was on the verge of crying now. Ron wanted to cry as well. In the span of almost ten years, he had seen his family grow and crumble. Come together, but torn apart. Children, nieces, and nephews were born, but they were different from the siblings he lost. George was alive, he was surviving, but losing him overseas, without any possibility of visiting him, was almost like death.
Almost.
"I have to stay," Ron said. "I have to stay. Mum and Dad can't lose anymore of us. I have to stay here with them."
"Nobody's forcing you to stay." George got up, made his way over to Ron, and put a hand on his shoulder. "But nobody is forcing you to leave. Do what's best for you, alright? Do what you need to do for yourself, Hermione, and Harry."
Ron nodded. His hand found its way on top of George's. God, he loved his family.
"Goodnight, Ron. I'll see you tomorrow."
"G'night."
"Good night, Hermione. And goodnight, Harry!"
"Night, Unca George!"
Hermione chuckled, holding a sleepy but squirming Harry. "Well, it's time for Uncle George to go to bed. And you should be in bed as well."
"Not tired!"
"Yes you are." Hermione gently placed Harry down on his bed.
"No!" Harry folded his arms and began his signature pout. "Not tired!"
"You're not tired?"
"No!"
Hermione placed her hands on her hips. "Will you be tired in five minutes?"
Harry shook his head. Ron just chuckled. Every time, Harry insisted he could stay awake for five more minutes to prove his mother wrong. And every time, he passed out within 60 seconds or less. Sure enough, Hermione was tucking Harry (and Whitey) under the covers, before lying down next to Ron.
"I overheard your conversation with George."
"How much?"
"Everything. Oh, poor Molly. This is going to devastate her. It's going to be so hard for him to contact us without any detection and he's so far away."
"That was the point, wasn't it?" Ron sighed. "They're harder to catch across the pond."
"True. But...I suppose this is life now, isn't it?" Hermione rolled onto her side.
"Hermione, when you were younger, did you ever dream of having kids?"
"With you?" Hermione giggled. "Well...yes...no...I thought about it a few times. It was hard to imagine because...well...each child has a different personality. You can't solve anything to determine what your child is going to be like. They always find ways to surprise you."
"Sounds like Harry."
"It does. But if you asked me when I was eleven to imagine myself with kids...um...well, I'd probably want two. I used to pester my parents for a younger sister all the time. I probably wouldn't have them so young...closer to thirty? Yeah, closer to thirty. You?"
"I would've waited. I probably would've gone through that phase where I'm traveling anywhere and enjoying the bachelor's life free from my family." Ron shrugged. "Sounds dumb, huh?"
"Sounds reasonable. But Harry's our son. And I want him to have a chance at a normal childhood."
"So, what should we do about it?"
"The safest option would be to have him stay and live here...but that's not living, is it? It's hiding."
"I guess not. But it would kill Mum if we left too."
"Maybe we should think about sending Harry somewhere."
"You really think so?" After the conversation he had with George, Ron wasn't sure if he ever wanted to be separated from Harry. "What options do we have?"
"There's options."
"And you're leaving him by himself? Hermione, he needs us? We can't just dump him in a foreign country and have him fend off Death Eaters on his own!"
"But if we're leaving as a unit, we'll attract more attention." Hermione was whispering, as not to wake Harry. "And he wouldn't be by himself. We'll find a trusted adult."
"Hagrid. Or maybe McGonagall?"
"I don't think so. Bless Hagrid's heart, but I really don't think he knows a lot about caring for a five-year old. And we don't even know where McGonagall is."
"So, who did you have in mind?"
"Charlie."
Ron quickly sat up. "Romania? You want to try and send Harry all the way to Romania?"
"I just feel safer if I know he's with a relative. Think about it, it would be a good learning experience for Harry if he isn't just surrounded by family. He likes animals, and he can learn how to take care of dragons."
"How are we going to accomplish that?"
"We'll owl Charlie and I take Harry with me to a local airport, where we'll arrange for them to get on a flight to Romania. I'll book tickets."
"Airport..." Ron wasn't sure if Hermione had ever told him about the concept of an airport or "flights" that somehow involved tickets. "Oh, I see. You want to use Muggle transportation to throw everyone off our trail."
"That's the plan." Hermione sighed. "God, I haven't been on an airplane in forever."
They snuggled back under the covers. Soon, only Ron was awake, listening to the faint breath of Harry and Hermione. After a few minutes, he turned and nudged his girlfriend awake. "Hermione, are you sure that you want to to this?"
"Only if you're on board with it."
"So we both agree."
"I'm okay with it. Are you?"
Ron hesitated. "...yes. We're facing this together."
"Together or not at all. Goodnight, Ron."
"Together or not at all. I'll owl Charlie in the morning."
"Goodnight, Ron."
"I love you, Hermione."
"I love you too."
"Goodnight."
And just like that, the house was quiet.
Angsty chapter ended with cute Ronmione fluff! Are I the greatest?
And just for the record, Ron and Hermione are dating/raising their kid together, but they aren't married. They simply never got around to tying to knot, probably out of fear of all the attention it might attract if word leaked out.
What do you think of the characters we were introduced to in this chapter? Do you think Ron and Hermione's plan sounds like a smart one? Can George and Katie make a clean getaway to America? Will Narcissa be okay?
-Vr
