Chapter One

'The Jig Saw'

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AN: I wrote this chapter when I was experiencing a little writers bloc for part 1. Hell, I already finished a possible ending for the Cell games. Some parts got changed as new ideas took hold, but it basically is as was written. It starts a few days prior to 'Anne'. Which was a kick ass episode by the way.

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Los Angeles, Earth, 1999

He halted the cabbie by ticking on the wire mesh separating him from the driver.

"Here it is," he said and pointed, "could you stop over there?"

"Dude, are you sure?" the black cabbie said looking over his shoulder, "This is not one of the best places to be after dark."

"I'm certain," he said smiling.

"Have it your way," the cabbie shrugged and pulled over, "that will be $14.79."

He got out of the taxi, together with his bag and put it on the ground. He fumbled in one of his pockets and pulled out a twenty.

"Keep the change," he said as he gave it to the cabbie.

"Thanks," the cabbie said with a big smile, "want me to circle around the block a couple of times?"

"Nah, it's OK," he said and as an afterthought he added, "I can take care of myself."

"Again, suit yourself," the cabbie smiled, "I'm outta here!"

As if to illustrate the point the taxi took off like lightning, leaving him behind in what appeared to be have once been a nice neighborhood. Now demilitarized zone was more covering it. Not that he cared though. Not his problem.

This was also about it. His earlier reading had gotten him into this general area, now he needed a second one to finish the job. So he rummaged in his bag and took out what seemed like a combination between half a pair of green sunglasses and half of a large 70's hifi headset. Putting the device on his left ear he turned a full 360 around while tapping the device.

"Ah," he said and took off the device, put it back into his bag and picked it up as he started walking. As he started an old homeless guy came up to him, seemingly to pester him for change.

"I'm sorry, no change," he said and nimbly evaded the homeless guy.

"I'm no one," he heard the guy drone on in a numb tone of voice behind him. Raising an eyebrow he glanced over his shoulder but homeless guy was already moving on. So he pressed on until he reached his destination, a small diner restaurant called Helen's Kitchen.

"Perfect, two birds with one stone," he smiled as he looked at the sign, then his stomach and went inside.

Inside it was mostly empty. There was plenty of room for customers but it was past diner time, into serious late night snack time. Without some major entertainment centers nearby, there was little to draw in the large crowds of teenagers, looking for some high calorie fuel to last them through a night of pumping up the jam. He could only see one other table that was occupied. So he decided to go sit by a table that was as secluded as possible.

"Be with you in a minute," somebody yelled from the kitchen. He smiled and sat down on the table of his choosing and put the bag next to him, between him and the wall. In the kitchen he can see a cook sitting on a stool doing a crossword puzzle. Not much signs of action coming from that department. Then he started to do a little drum roll on the table as he read the upright standing special offers card.

After a minute a waitress came out of the kitchen and to his table.

"What can I get you?" she said without looking up..

"Well, I was thinking about a cup of coffee and a slice of pie, I'm really up for some sugary goodness. But I'd settle for the pleasure of your company."

The waitress raised an eyebrow and looked up in surprise from her notebook. The credit card commercial was indeed right, he can't help but think, some things just are priceless. Relishing the moment he smiled.

"Hello Buff. How have you been doing?"

The waitress, who everybody at the dinner knew as Anne, looked absolutely surprised. And damn cute too in her pigtails he had to admit, even though she seemed to have adopted quite the shy girl act.

"Xander," she said bewildered, eyes big as saucers.

"The one and only," Xander grinned and gestured to the seat on the other side of the table, "Why don't you sit, Buff, so we can talk."

"I, I can't, Xan, I have to work," Buffy said hesitantly, looking around her like a trapped animal, shocked that her friend had managed to find her here in LA.

"Hey chief," Xander yelled to the cook, "is it okay if..., Anne and I have a talk, we went to the same high school?"

The cook put up a thumbs up and went back on doing his crossword puzzle. It was already late and too few if any customers anyway.

"See, taken care of, 'Anne'," Xander grinned and gestured again, "please sit."

Buffy still looked like she would rather bolt.

"Are you alone?" she finally asked, half looking at the door to see if the others might come in.

"Yes I am. Straight from LAX, not even time to go home," Xander said, again gesturing to the seat opposite him, "Just sit, Buff."

"I'll get you your coffee and pie first," Buffy said smiling weakly and went back to the kitchen. No sooner was she inside, and around the corner, as she leaned against the fridge in despair and sighed. A tear escaped from one of her eyes.

"Something wrong, Anne?" the cook asked concerned, looking up from his puzzle. For a second Buffy was tempted to say yes and have the cook throw Xander out. Not that Xander would actually put up a fight. More likely he would just increase his power and continue to sit there, a veritable unmovable grinning object.

"It's OK," sighed Buffy, eventually wiping away her tear, "just an old friend from back home."

"Alright," the cook said and returned to his puzzle, "a major river in Europe, 6 letters horizontal, starts with a D?."

"Don't ask me, chief, I got a D in geography," Buffy said as she sliced off a piece of pie, then took it with along the coffee pot. Putting on her brave face she went back towards Xander.

"Anne?" Xander asked curious, again looking at her tag as she gave him his order.

"My middle name," Buffy replied and sat down, "how did you find me?"

Xander pulled open his bag and with one hand he took out a scouter, wiggled it, then he put it back.

"I've been very careful in keeping my strength down," Buffy said as she followed the scouter going back in the bag.

"I know," replied Xander," but where I could always pass for human, you are still the Slayer. So you will always stick out just a little bit more from other people. It's faint, but detectable."

That and doing a locator spell to help them pinpoint her exact location. But he left that one out. Like the B-man always said, always keep something in reserve.

Buffy sighed. That damn Slayer business! There was just no escaping it, even here!

"Giles told me they thought you were here," Xander continued as he zipped his bag up, "though he never admitted it, Giles tracked the B-man coming to LA many times. And every time he returned he refused to say anything, although they could see he was even more depressed and resorted to that evil booze of his."

"I thought I sensed something," Buffy said, as suddenly certain tingling Spidey moments over the past months made more sense. That Saiyan bastard had been keeping track on her after all.

"So this is what you do these days?" Xander asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"It pays the bills and its refreshingly normal," Buffy shrugged.

"I keep forgetting," Xander said putting back the coffee pot, "that was always your major fetish. So how's the normal life working out, Buff? Everything you've been dreaming about? Like the little girl pigtails look though."

Xander smiled impishly, then he started eating his pie.

"It has its ups and downs," Buffy replied while looking away, "some days are better then others. And you?"

"I've had a very interesting summer break," Xander replied between bites, right elbow on the table, "I've spent the summer training with Krillin and his sensei Kame Senin. You remember Krillin, right?"

Buffy put her some fingers to her nose and pressed on it.

"Short nasally challenged bald guy," she said, "nice guy but kinda depressed when he learned I wasn't single?"

"That's him," Xander smiled at Buffy's description of the K-man, "still very single to his regret I must say. His sensei on the other hand... I always thought I was a pervert constantly thinking about you in the nude, Buff. Or most other girls for that matter. Come to think of it, I probably thought of all girls nude. Except Willow. Somehow that just felt weird. But that guy, he puts the P in pervert. He must have a bigger porn collection then all the sex shops in Amsterdam combined. Not that I've ever been to Amsterdam, but I'll stake $5 on that."

"You must have felt right at home then?" smiled Buffy weakly.

Xander chuckled, then shook his head.

"Nah, he wasn't really into sharing. In fact, in order to get him to teach me anything I even had to give him a very rare Raquel Welch workout video."

Buffy looked impressed.

"You gave him 'the tape'? The family air loom? The one handed down to you from that uncle of yours? You have changed, Xander."

Xander smiled as he spooned off another piece of pie.

"I'm a changed man these days, Buff," he smirked and then brought his head conspiratorially close towards Buffy, "besides, when you have a real girlfriend and you are being pushed harder then by 20 Lee Ermeys, seeing a clothed woman do exercises kinda loses its appeal. Even though technically she is still a hot MILF."

"So spandex is out?" Buffy couldn't help but chuckle and Xander nodded in agreement.

"Spandex is out, Buff," he said in agreement, "unless of course it's on a real girl. Of which there was an unfortunate lack this summer. Krillin is a very nice guy, but he has even less luck then me with women. I at least attract something. He must use women repellent for aftershave. The one time I took him to a singles bar it was like the parting of the Red Sea. Comes in handy though when you have to get drinks."

"It sounds like you had fun then?" Buffy said as she leaned back in her chair, arms closed in front of her on the table.

"It was great fun training with those two guys," Xander agrees, "their training methods are a bit different. It was most helpful though that Krillin invented the Kienzan. He gave me some pointers. Wait until you see my version. He also taught me a cool move which might be useful with vamps."

"I'm glad somebody had fun," Buffy sighed. She wasn't sure what was worse, being found by her friends or hearing they weren't doing that bad in her absence.

Xander put down his fork and looked her right in the eyes.

"It could have been the both of us together, Buff. It should have been the both of us. And you could have used it as well. It would seem that your power may have gone down a bit."

Buffy shrugged indifferent.

"I no longer care, Xander," she said, "I quit being the Slayer. You can thank your friendly neighborhood Saiyan for that!"

Xander sighed and shook his head.

"Still angry and moping about Angel?"

"I had to kill him," Buffy said coldly, "that bloody Saiyan knew Angel could be brought back. He even had the spell to restore the curse. And he did nothing with it!"

"And why should he, Buff?" Xander said and put both arms around him, as if he was embracing a person, "just so you could lock lips with Dead Boy again? Your relationship ended the night you and him inadvertently lifted his curse."

"It was not his decision to make," Buffy huffed, folding her arms across her chest.

"Maybe," Xander said after some thinking, "then again, was it still yours?"

"What do you mean?"

Xander wiped his mouth with a napkin and pointed the fork at her.

"Ever since you came to Sunnydale and we learned you were the Slayer you have been making decisions. Many of which with consequences for all of us too. Now maybe there was some merit to it when you were still that one chosen girl, but that situation has changed, remember?"

"That does not mean he gets to decide things about my personal life. He is not my father, Xander!"

Xander bit his lip, and looked away, as if he tried to suppress something which should better not be said. Then he looked at her again.

"Of course he is not your father. Nor is he mine. But your father has abandoned you and your mother. And mine, well, I think the dictionary has a picture of him beside the entries of dickhead, asshole and bastard. In many ways both Belmovekk and Giles in particular have been our real fathers for the last two years now.

"Some father he turned out to be," Buffy snorted, "at least my real one knew better then to fuck me over. Every morning I feel Angel's touch on me, his breath on my skin, the things he whispers in my ear. And then I wake up and I know it has all been a dream. That in reality I killed him. Blew him straight into hell because the man I trusted to look out for me lied. Lied to over the love of my life!"

Xander let his fork fall on his plate.

"Buff, you are 17, nearly 18," he said leaning over, "don't you think it is a bit early yet declaring anybody to be the love of their life? I mean I like Cordelia, I really do, but even I think it's a bit too early to declare her my soul mate."

"Sometimes you just know, Xander," Buffy replied defensively "you've never felt that kind of love. No offense, but what you and Cordelia had didn't compare to what I had with Angel."

"Well, grow up, Buff," Xander countered angrily, shaking his head, "so I didn't go cryptic and mysterious on Cordelia and there was some severe case of lust in our relationship. That doesn't mean what I had with her is any different then what you had with that..., thing. But you are right, sometimes you just know. Like when I saw this beautiful girl on her first school day. I saw her and I told my best friend Jesse, the one I killed without thinking when he became a vamp by the way, I told him she was the one for me. And then she turned out to be some superhero chick. Well, I couldn't let her do it alone now, could I? Unlike some other guy I knew I did lift a finger when the love of my life needed a helping hand. But if I had known that doing nothing and looking mysterious made you go all gushy, maybe I should have stayed at home the night you went to face the master. Oops, I forget, you'd be dead then."

Xander picked up his fork again and sliced of some pie which he shoveled into his mouth.

"You're mocking me," Buffy said, a tear rolling down her cheek, "you're mocking what I had."

Xander's angry stare softened.

"I know, Buff. It does sound silly when you put it like that, right? Come home with me."

Buffy wiped away her tear and looked Xander right in the eyes.

"Why did you lie to me Xander?"

Xander was just about to slice off another piece of pie when he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Lie?" he asked both surprised and a little nervous at the same time.

"You know," she said leaning over, "like in 'kick his ass'."

"Oh, that...," Xander swallowed uncomfortably. He had lied to her, on the cusp of her assault on Angelus. When Willow had told him to tell Buffy that she would try again to restore Angel's soul. Yet he had told her nothing of that.

"I'm not stupid, Xander," Buffy said, "why would Willow say kick his ass when she later restored Angel's soul?"

Xander looked at his plate and didn't say anything. So Buffy pressed on.

"What did she really say, Xander?"

"That she was going to try again," Xander said softly, evading her gaze.

"I can't hear you," Buffy said loudly and sternly.

"That she was going to try again," Xander said again, only a little louder this time.

"Ha," Buffy snorted triumphantly as she reclined back again, "I knew it!"

Both don't speak for a while. Finally Xander broke the silence first.

"You know, you're talking this quite in stride," he said, "I more or less expected that if you ever found out there would be much yelling, ripping off of heads, power tantrums and gnashing of teeth."

"Oh, I did all of those," Buffy said coldly, "within a week of arriving here. And I came this close to returning and tearing you a new one."

"But you're not mad anymore?" Xander asked hopeful.

"Oh, I'm mad alright," she said coldly, "I'm fuming with anger."

"Oh kind green God, it's worse," Xander sighed as he buried his face in his hands, "there's anger, there's power tantrums, there's the silent treatment and worst of all, the eye of the hurricane."

Xander bumped his head backwards and hit the wall. He sighed again and closed his eyes.

"Look, I'm sorry," he finally said, "it was a terrible thing to do. But you may not like to hear this but I still think it was the right thing to do. A tactical decision. Angelus had to be stopped. Either by you, or by Willow. To let everything hang on a single strategy was madness. We tried that before and Angelus and Spike's crazy chick managed to kidnap Giles, Belmovekk got drained dry and Kendra died. Better for the world that this time there was a back up. Willow's magic use was tenuous at best. The way I saw it, it was either the world or your very slim chance at resuming a still doomed relationship. I choose the world. Since we're all still here I think I made the right choice."

"That was not your choice to make," Buffy said, "because in the end I still killed him to save the world."

"I know," Xander said nodding, "unlike the others I quickly realized that too. On hindsight I probably should have told you, Buff. But hindsight is 20/20 perfect. I would rather be damned for what I did then for what I failed to do. But with all due respect, why should it have been your decision to make? If anything it should have been 'our' decision. You let your feelings get in the way ever since Angel turned. I killed Jesse, my best friend since forever like 'that', when he became a vampire. No doubts, no hesitation. It was the right thing to do. You on the other hand were willing to let the scourge of Europe roam freely through Sunnydale, all because he wore the face of your gone lover. That's why I lied to you. I'd knew you would lose your edge and try to stall. But once Angelus activated Acathla there would be no going back and you would still have had to kill him."

"You know what I think," Buffy said, leaning over again, "I think you lied to me because you wanted Angel dead. You never liked him since he was your rival. And this was your big chance at getting rid of him."

Xander hit the table with an open hand and looked away shaking his head in disbelief. A crack appeared at where he had hit the table.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," he said vehemently, "I would never do that!"

"Yes you would," Buffy replied calmly, "you had a crush on me from day one and I remember what you said when you put the love potion number nine on the whole town. You still had the hots for me."

"Well, I did used to have the hots for you," Xander admitted, "but I'm with Cordelia now. So that won't fly."

"Oh yes it does," she countered, "yes, you are with Cordelia, and yes, I wouldn't think for a moment that you would betray her. You're not that kind of guy. But I also saw that what the two of you have is not the same what I had with Angel. If you think that deep down somebody is the one for you, you don't easily switch off those feelings. You hated Angel's guts for being with me and you suddenly had your chance."

Xander thought it over for a moment.

"No," Xander finally said, sounding calmly, "that's absurd Buff. Now you're again projecting your own ideas onto others. Not everything has to revolve around you and not every relationship has to be like what you had with Angel. Either so passionate it hurts or all doom and gloom the next. Most people live between less extreme variables."

"Think what you will," Buffy said folding her arms in front of her on the table, "I know what I think."

Both say nothing for a while.

"Come home, Buff," Xander suddenly said, "it's just not the same without you."

Buffy looked down

"I can't, everything reminds me of Angel."

"You can't hide out here forever," Xander said, waving around the diner.

"I have been doing so far," she replied.

Xander shook his head.

"Sooner or later your past will catch up with you," he said, "whether you want it or not. Later is usually not so nice as sooner."

As Buffy bit her lip and said nothing Xander resumed eating his pie.

"This is good pie," Xander said once he had finished it.

"I'll tell the cook," Buffy replied sullen.

"I know it hurts going home, Buff," Xander said and put his hands on Buffy's, "well, maybe not exactly like it would for you, but you know my family, right? But you won't be alone, come back to your friends. We need you."

"Haven't you heard, I'm through being the Slayer," she replied and pulled her hands back, "I through with that life, I'm through with that bastard Belmovekk. Besides, you don't need me. He can take care of everything far better then I ever could. You're strong, Oz is strong, Willow is learning magic, Giles can do to and the books, I'm no longer needed."

"We do need you, Buff," Xander pleaded, "you are our friend. It hurts us to see you in pain. Besides, it's not going well back in Sunnydale. The edict is fraying."

Buffy looked surprised.

"How come? Surely that Saiyan bastard can uphold it far better then I ever could?"

"The natives are getting restless, Buff," Xander said while he played with his fork, "from what Giles told me over the phone they're getting cocky again. No human has been attacked but they know something is wrong.

The edict, well it always rested on you and him. You were the Slayer, the demons knew and respected that. And he was your attack dog. That was the role you guys agreed upon, remember? There are rumors of some of Spike's boys having survived and filtering out what Angelus taught them."

"And while the natives are getting restless, Belmovekk isn't doing very well, Buff. He's taken your going away very hard. He's been hitting the bottles again. Lots. On a good day he still scares the locals, just. But on a bad day we can't leave him alone or he'll drink himself senseless."

"Good,' Buffy snorted smugly, "that bastard deserves to suffer for what he did!"

"So he made a bad call?" Xander countered, "Who doesn't? It's not like you always did the right thing? Or I for that matter. Remember Giles with his Eghyon thingy? That nearly got you killed as well."

"He should have restored Angel when he could," Buffy said resolutely, "even if we couldn't have a life together he still could have been of help to us."

The mere mentioning of Angel again has Xander hitting the table with his head in exasperation.

"The sillyness of how I did or didn't feel about you aside, to be frank, Buff, I don't think anyone of us trusted you again with Angel. I take that back. Willow would because she blindly trusts you. Giles is your watcher but he is also blind to your faults. Oz is in love with Willow and trusts her judgment blindly. I, I probably fancied you too much to really tell you the truth. But Belmovekk didn't. He saw what he believed had to be done and he did it. He may look all nice and human most of the time, but he's still an alien from another culture, who can be quite ruthless. He had to do something to keep Angelus in check since you didn't allow him to kill the bastard."

"Because I wanted him to be resouled," she said angry, "he was one of us, remember? Would you have given up on Willow if there existed the chance she could be saved. Or Cordelia.?"

"Maybe not," Xander said, "I guess it would depend on what the chances are of saving her. In this case however there were none. We really believed the curse to be lost that day. Again, I dusted my best friend Jesse back then in a heartbeat because I believed he could not be saved. And I don't regret that decision. I don't think I could have lived with the idea that, until some unknown day where he may or may not be saved, he would still kill a lot of people. Angelus could have killed a lot of people, Buff. Contrary to what you may think Belmovekk didn't have the curse for months. Assuming he kills one person a day for feeding, how many lives would Angel's salvation worth?"

Buffy looked at the table and didn't reply. Xander didn't say anything and leaned back, waiting for her to make the next move.

"I can't go back Xander," she said eventually, "not while he's still there."

"It would be very hard for him not to, Buff, remember? Your mother being the mother of his children."

"Children," Buffy gulped, "as in plural?"

"Twins, Buff, twins," Xander said as he shook his head in disbelief as well, "Willow has seen the ultrasound and couldn't stop talking for ten minutes. Come home, Buff, we need you. As a friend. Forgive the B-man, if only for your own sake. They say forgiving is good for the soul. He only tried to do what he thought was best. Keep you alive and avoid the fate of all the other slayers, remember? To die as young as Kendra did."

For a moment it looked like Buffy would relent and Xander felt hope. Then she avoided his eyes again and looked away.

"I can't, Xander, too much has happened."

"Then I guess I was right all along," Xander sighed and got up.

"What do you mean by that," Buffy asked, her eyes following her friend .

"The others wanted me to ask you, but nobody else was able to come. Oz has been training like a maniac trying to help keep the B-man hold the edict together. Willow, Giles and your mother are on constant watch on his bad days. So they asked me to come. To be honest I just thought it was a waste of time. When the Buffster enters the moping zone she doesn't get out so easily. Fine, stay here if you want. Do nothing while others do the dying. If you ever get out of your funk and we're still alive you'll know where to find us. Here, keep the change."

Xander dropped some money on the table and left the dinner, leaving a very confused Buffy behind him still sitting by the table.

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Xander put his bag on his shoulder and took off outside, flying back to Sunnydale. He felt sorry for having been proven right in Buffy. He still loved her in some part but that girl was doing the utmost to make that even harder. At least the truth will set you free, as Belmovekk had once told him.

What to do about that guy? He should never have gone away to train with Krillin and Kame Senin for the summer. No matter how pleasant it had been. But Belmovekk had been very insistent that he should expand his horizon before taking it to the next level. Maybe if he had stayed he could have talked Belmovekk out of that depression he had found himself. For doing exactly the same thing Xander would have done. That bastard Angel! The only good thing that guy ever did was dying and even from the grave he still held their lives hostage. Hopefully the bastard was rotting in Hell!

After a mildly uneventful flight (him nearly dropping his bag at one point) Xander arrived back in the wonderful town of Sunnyhell and landed next to 1630 Revello Drive. He took a moment to have a look around to take in the view he had to miss for a long while. And also of course to let his stomach adjust. Suddenly that delicious piece of pie no longer felt so delicious.

Eventually the moment passed and he walked onto the porch and to the door and rang. After a short delay the door was opened by Buffy's by now very pregnant looking mother.

"Hi Joyce," Xander smiled warmly, he had missed her.

"You're back," she smiled and hugged him, "come in."

Xander returned the embrace for a moment and then they entered the house. Inside Giles was sitting by the dinner table reading a book.

"Hey, G-man, long time no see!"

"Xander," Giles said as he looked up and closed his book, "how are you?"

"Fine, couldn't be better," Xander smiled and shook hands with his favorite Brit, "greetings from Krillin and his sensei, from a sunny Hawaii."

"I can see," Giles said as he looked at Xander's latest wardrobe addition, "just when you think your shirts couldn't be any more louder you've managed to raise the bar. So you had a good time?"

"At least I did. How's he?" Xander asked and pointed upwards..

"Willow is with him," Giles said, "you just can't leave him alone or he conjures up one of those god awful bottles of that dreadful alcohol of his. That's tonight harvest."

Giles pointed to seven bottles, with varying degrees of content still present standing on the dinner table.

"Did you get to speak to Buffy?" Joyce asked very anxious.

"Oh, I did," Xander said and the three of them moved into the living room and sat down on the couch.

"And what did she say?"

Xander bit his lip. Joyce was anxious to have her daughter back. And rightly so. He'd hate to disappoint her since she had a lot of hope pinned on him. But he had to.

"As I suspected, she refuses to come home. I hate to say this, Joyce, and don't get me wrong. I love your daughter, I'd lay down my life for her gladly in an instant, no thinking. But when she gives in to self obsession and self-pity she crosses over to the Dark Side wholehearted. She's still not come to terms over Angel and what happened. I suspect she may never. She will return if she wants too, when she wants too, not because we ask her too. Now, I hate to say I told you so, so I won't. I'd rather have a cup of tea instead. With a Twinkie if possible."

"Of course you can," Joyce said and went into the kitchen.

"And now?" Giles asked dejected. Xander had been his last hope of getting Buffy back short of ordering in a Council retrieval squad.

"Now we try to make the best of it," Xander shrugged, "the edict still holds. Sortish right?"

"I'm afraid it got worse." Giles sighed, "Oz was attacked less then half an hour ago."

"Is he hurt," Xander asked anxious

"He, um, was very lucky," Giles admitted, "it was only a Krogoth demon. Or as Oz puts it, brawny, not brainy."

Xander snorted and shook his head.

"You know G-man, there was a time when the news of a Krogoth demon attacking had you and us up late in the night doing a research party," says Xander frowning.

"I know, Xander," Giles nodded in agreement, "luckily Oz has managed to train himself hard.. He's nowhere as good as you yet but if he ever manages to control his inner werewolf you will face, as he puts it, stiff competition."

That was news to Xander. Last time he heard Oz was still sitting on the face regarding using his werewolf nature.

"So he has decided to do it?" he asked surprised.

"Yes. Soon after you left he told Belmovekk he would do it," Giles said, "apparently the whole Angelus/Acathla crisis had convinced him it was a skill too useful not to use."

In a way Xander felt sad that Oz, who had become a good friend, had to do that which he didn't like doing. But it was indeed a skill too useful not to use. Especially with her Blondness still moping in LA.

"I fear they are testing us," Giles said looking outside, "ever since we've been hearing these rumors of demons training the whole underground community is on edge. Today its a Krogoth, tomorrow it will be something more nasty that neither Oz, nor you, or I can stop."

"I know," Xander said and accepted a cup of tea with a Twinkie from Joyce.

"Ah, sugary goodness," he said and dipped the twinkie in the tea before eating it, "I missed these things! Krillin and the Porn Master are nice guys but you don't get many twinkies on that little island of theirs."

Then he bit into the confection and his eyes glazed in bliss.

"So what are we going to do now?" Joyce asked as she sat down between the two.

"I have absolutely no idea," Xander said with a full mouth, "except training, lots of it, in the B-man's gym. We must stay ahead of the competition. At least my time with Kame Senin wasn't a complete waste of time. I got some new cool moves. Including one which I think will gave a vamp a nasty case of suntan."

"If Buffy won't come back, maybe we could ask one of Belmovekk's other friends," Joyce suddenly said, "he did say there were other Saiyans like him. Maybe they could talk him out of this depression."

"They?" Xander snorted, "Joyce, you clearly haven't met Vegeta, prince of all Saiyans. If you think Buffy had cornered the market on self-obsession, she's a rank amateur compared to him. He also scares me way more then Angelus ever did."

Giles looked at Joyce and understood what she was trying to say.

"Maybe not Vegeta, but what about Goku?" he suggested.

"But he's on the other side of the world somewhere in China," Xander said, "I can't make it there on my own power. Why do you think I flew from Hawaii to LAX by plane?"

"You could always take an airplane," Joyce suggested.

Xander patted his nearly empty wallet in his pocket.

"My, uh, pie talk with your daughter drained the last of my petty cash," he said, "And how are we going to afford a plane ticket, Joyce?"

"Well, um, money shouldn't be a, um, problem," Giles said looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Since when?" Xander asked looking suspiciously at the Watcher, "The council barely pays you enough expenses to make ends meet. Look at the bucket of rust you are driving."

"That happens to be an original Citroen," Giles countered, who always got testy as soon as somebody (usually Xander) insulted his car, "a real automotoring classic of French engineering."

"You're British, G-man," Xander shrugged unimpressed, "you are supposed to frown upon 'anything' made by French cheese eating surrender monkeys!"

"That's beside the point, Xander," Giles countered, "while technically, yes, the Council has been most..., frugal shall we say, in the allocation of funds. Belmovekk however has more then made up for it. He has established various, um, funds, hidden accounts and even safe houses if we were ever forced to leave Sunnydale."

"Industrious little bugger," Xander said shaking his head, "probably all paid from his pixiegold. What kinds of funds?"

Giles started to count using his fingers.

"Maintenance accounts for facilities like the gravity gym, safe houses, accounts to obtain various equipment, expenses, bribe money. Several accounts for each of you, including college funds. He has given me full access to most of these accounts. I'm sure if Willow starts up her infernal machine she can get you a ticket for the first flight out tomorrow."

"First flight out? I just returned," Xander groaned, "you're going to make my jet-lag suffer from jet-lag. No rest for the wicked."

"I'll relieve Willow so you guys can plan ahead," Joyce said and got up to go upstairs.

"I'll accompany you," Xander said, wishing to see Belmovekk. So he accompanied Joyce Summers up the stairs to the spare bedroom. Inside was Willow.

"Hey, Xander!" she said happy to see her long time friend again, "you're back! How did it go?"

Xander shook his head.

"That bad, huh," Willow said saddened

Xander nodded.

"Well, we had to try,"

"So how is the B-man," Xander asked. Belmovekk lay on the bed, totally out cold, the smell of alcohol on his breath.

"Sleeping, for now," Willow said and then pointed to two bottles standing next to her chair, "the harvest of this watch."

"I'll take over, Willow," Joyce said, "Giles needs you downstairs."

"Okay," Willow said.

"Here, let me get these," Xander said and grabbed the two bottles. Meanwhile Joyce took a blanket from the cupboard and draped it over Belmovekk.

"Sweet dreams, big guy," Xander said and then left with Willow.

Downstairs Xander added the bottles to the collection while Giles explained their latest plan to Willow and asked her to use 'her infernal machine' to get the earliest ticket to China.

"Well, that won't be a problem," she said as she booted up her laptop, "but do we know where this Goku exactly lives? China is like huge, Giles. I need to know where Goku lives so I can get Xander on to the right internal flight."

Giles gave her a puzzled look.

"Oh dear, that he never told me."

The sound of Xander smacking his face could be heard.

"I guess Bulma would know," Xander said, "do we have her number?"

"I don't know," Giles said uncertain, "Belmovekk has it I suppose."

More face smacking sounds could be heard.

"I'll go over to his place and get it," Xander said shaking his head, "you know, we really should exchange these critical need to know phone numbers."

"I'll start booking your international flight, Xan," Willow said as she logged in on the internet, "do you want economy or first class. First class would be nice but I'm not sure we could afford it."

"First class would be fine, Willow," Giles said, "and money isn't a problem."

x


x

"Ah, there it is," Xander said and grabbed the notebook from its hiding place. Being both a trained Saiyan infiltrator and somebody who had lived in a technologically backwards society for 4000 years Belmovekk didn't really need to keep a notebook with important phone numbers. But it was potentially useful to keep certain formation in writing in case something happened to him. So the Saiyan had hid it in a place where his friends would know where to look for it. Inside the Darth Vader training dummy in the gravity gym.

Bulma's phone number was indeed in the notebook. Xander copied it onto his hand using a pen. He put the notebook back into Darth Vader's hidden compartment and was about to leave when he suddenly had an fiendishly clever idea. Yeah, why not? It was worth a shot. He'd just wish he wasn't in China when it would happen. A truly diabolical idea. He couldn't help but grin evilly.

"Your presence is truly inspiring, oh Dark Lord," he said to the gravity gym's chief resident and patted the training statue on its head..

x


x

By the time Xander's plane touched down at Chengdu airport, the glee at his diabolical scheme had all but been replaced by the relief of being able to leave the China Airlines internal flight Tupolev. The moment he got off the plane and of the stairs he kissed the tarmac for all it was worth.

"Oh sweet Mother Earth, gladly does thy lost son return to it's loving embrace," Xander said as some of the other passengers, Chinese nearly all of them, watched him with interest.. While flying a Seattle built 747, or even one of those Euro Airbus built numbered thingies meant nothing to Xander, just the sight of one of those Russian built things scared Xander more then the Hellmouth itself. Vodka, AK-47's and depressing authors were Russia's chief dependable exports as far as Xander was concerned, not passenger aircraft.

Once he got off the tarmac and outside the airport he allowed himself to be outrageously cheated by a taxi driver, as long as it got him to a decent and clean hotel. After all, money suddenly was no objection as Giles had given him some pocket money. After checking in in a hotel that lived up to those standards he went out and took it upon him to enjoy Chengdu's many culinary delights. He was after all in the capitol of Sichuan. After experiencing one of the best meals in his life he called it a night and decided to catch up on some of his jet lag.

The next day Xander checked out early and went out to further explore the city's culinary delights for breakfast. Afterwards he found himself a quiet alley (which wasn't as easy as it sounded in a society where many still liked to watch at westerners) and jumped on top of a roof. From there he started using his senses to got a direction for Goku. One of the things he had properly learned from Krillin was chi sense and he guessed this might as well be a good moment to use it. It wasn't hard to miss, it was a friggin' huge chi. So Xander launched himself into the air and made of for the mountains.

x


x

While Xander flew off on his side of the world, it was already getting late again in Los Angeles. Most customers had already left when the door to the diner opened and a lone customer stepped in, making the door bell ring.

"Be with you in a minute," Buffy yelled from the small chair in the kitchen where she was taking a break. Suddenly her spidey senses tingled. And then she heard 'the' voice.

"Truly pitiful! Summers, where are you?"

Buffy suddenly had a dire need for a wall to ram her head against.

"What have I done to deserve this?" she sighed as she got up from her chair and ran into the restaurant.

Inside Vegeta, Prince of all Saiyans stood, wearing one of his patented deathglares on 110% as he examined the place. And he didn't seem impressed.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Buffy asked surprised.

"Pitiful," Vegeta snorted as he looked at Buffy, "look at you, dressed as a common servant wench."

Exasperated she rolled her eyes.

"Again I ask, what are you doing here, Vegeta?"

Vegeta didn't even deem her worthy enough to look at her as he spoke to her.

"I have come for you, Summers! Come on, let's go! The sooner we leave, the sooner I can go back to training. I can't believe I let Bulma talk me into this."

Off all the things! Buffy just felt as if she had walked into bizarro world. That or some surrealistic Monty Python sketch. She could help but glance at the door, checking to see if the Spanish Inquisition was about to barge in as well.

"And why should I go with you?" Buffy said after getting a hold of herself, "I live here now, I work here!"

"What? In this place?" Vegeta snorted again, eyes looking around the diner, "Why on Vegetasei would you want to work in a place like this? You are a warrior, not a lowly servant."

"This is what I want," Buffy objected, "I don't want to be a warrior. I never wanted to be like that in the first place."

"What does want have to do with being a warrior, Summers," Vegeta said unimpressed, "mood is for cattle! I suspect Movekk has been too soft on you. Come, let's go."

The Saiyan prince gestured her to follow him.

"To where?" she asked unimpressed, not moving an inch.

"Why, you insolent child," Vegeta muttered as he saw she wasn't moving, "back to Movekk of course. That other stray of him, Harris, he asked me to get you back to that weird place of yours."

Hearing Xander's name, Buffy turned away angry.

"Xander, damn you," Buffy muttered, instantly knowing that this could only have been one of Xander's perverted schemes. He probably was pissing himself with laughter right now.

"Mutter for all I care," Vegeta said, resuming his original waiting stance again, "if he'd asked me directly I would still be training in my gym but the kid was smart enough to go through Bulma instead. He knows I couldn't refuse her anything."

Vegeta's face softened just the slightest bit when he talked about Bulma.

"Normally even then I wouldn't care, but she cut off all power to my gym and refuses to turn it on until I brought you home. So hurry up."

Buffy let out a snigger of laughter. Oh, if only the joke wasn't on her, this was a classic Xander joke. One for the books.

"I'm not going anywhere, Vegeta," she said suppressing another snigger, "and that's final."

Vegeta's face went from evil disinterested scowl to full storm cloud scowl.

"Now look here, Summers," he said, pointing at the door, "read my lips. I don't care about you, or whatever insignificant problems you have with Movekk. You're going and that's final. Even if I have to knock you out cold and drag you home by your hair."

"How very caveman of you," Buffy said as she started to clean one of the tables, to prove her not going point, "you can't do that. There are laws against that. Now get out before I call the police."

"Infuriating wench," Vegeta muttered, more to himself, then he looked at her, "what do I care for your laws, Summers. Or your pitiful enforcers? They don't even dare to come here this late. Besides, I'm the prince of all Saiyans. I order you to go!"

"Why should that mean anything?" Buffy said, not believing what she was hearing, "You are not the boss of me!"

Vegeta's eyes nearly popped out of his eye sockets.

"Why you little... ... now look here, Summers. When last we met Movekk claimed you as his own. No Saiyan has ever defied the royal house unless it was to protect his family. That is the law. You have been claimed by Movekk, therefore you are now of his household and subject to Saiyan law."

"I am what?" Buffy sniggered, "Suddenly I'm the honorary member of the Saiyan club? Did I miss the announcement or something, or was it 'lets have some more fun at Buffy's expense' week?"

"It is a great honor, Summers," Vegeta said dead serious, "only rarely has any non-Saiyan befallen that honor. The house of Movekk is a good noble house, granted, it's not elite, but few are."

"I want nothing to do with that bastard," Buffy yelled and turned her back to the Saiyan prince.

Vegeta rolled his eyes upwards and sighed. Then he unfolded his arms and pointed to the few customers still present.

"You, leave!" he shouted. The customers didn't know how fast they could leave the dinner. Then the Saiyan grabbed a chair and sat on it.

"Alright Summers, have it your way, let's talk."

"Anne, what's going on?" the cook yelled as he entered the restaurant, then saw a small angry looking guy with freaky hair sitting on a chair, "Everything okay, Annie? This weirdo bothering you?"

"Everything is fine, Eddie," Buffy said, waving the cook back, "nothing I can't handle. I think it's better if you go start closing up back there."

"If you say so, Anne," the cook replied suspiciously and retreated back into the kitchen.

"Why can't you people just leave me alone," Buffy sighed as she locked the front door.

"I didn't ask to be here, Summers," Vegeta shrugged unsympathetic to her cause, "but I can't go back to training until I get you home. You refuse to be ordered. That leaves either fighting or talking. I guess you would not like the first, nor are you worthy enough, so sit! Now tell me why you refuse to go home."

x


x

Flying over beautiful Sichuan province it took Xander quite a long time to reach Goku's place, but eventually he found it. Situated in a secluded lush valley stood a white domed house, smoke coming from a chimney. Tired from the long flight Xander landed outside the door and knocked.

The door wasn't opened immediately, some rummaging inside could be heard until finally a black haired woman, hair in a bun, a lock on each side of her face and wearing an apron opened the door.

"Yes?" she asked, slightly surprised that somebody made it to this remote place.

This must be Goku's wife, Xander thought. Belmovekk had told many a tale of her hotheadedness and how the mighty Saiyan was almost always easily cowed by his wife. In a semi-abusive semi-S&M kind of way that is. And how extremely important it was to stay on her good side. Ignore at your peril.

"Excuse me for interrupting, good Mrs. Son," Xander said as politely as possible, even making a slight formal bow, "my name is Alexander Harris. But my friends usually call me Xander. I'm a good friend of Belmovekk."

"Oh, Belmovekk," Son Chichi said, her face lighting up, "how is the good man doing?"

Xander was surprised by her reaction. The B-man had apparently managed to make a good impression. Probably shamelessly flattered her using one of his cardinal rules, it pays to be nice. Good, that might make things easier as Xander put his right hand on his heart.

"To be honest, Mrs. Son, not so well. That is why I need your help. Or to be perfectly honest, the help of your husband."

"Oh dear," she said saddened, "what has happened to poor Belmovekk, Mr. Harris?"

"He has fallen gravely ill with depression, misses Son," Xander said, "a person that he has held dear has gone and we fear that your husband, being of the same Saiyan race, might be the only one able to bring some encouragement and wise council."

That amused Chichi to no end.

"What, Goku? And wise council? In the same sentence?" she snorted, "I'm afraid that you have come here for nothing, Mr. Harris. My husband is many things but he didn't stand in front of the line when it was time to hand out brains."

That was not the answer Xander had hoped for, but he sort of had expected it. Still, being smart and wise weren't always the same. Belmovekk, Krillin and Yamcha had always spoken highly of the man, as did his former sensei. So even if the man was a retard, as Vegeta liked to claim, surely there must be something more to the man?

"Never the less, Mrs. Son," Xander pressed on, "we have need of him. He is our last hope. Belmovekk is like a father to me. He has taken me under his wings when my own father wouldn't even care. I learned he even provided funds for my future going to college if I ever desired to do so..."

"A man who would put somebody's else's son to college deserves helping," Chichi said impressed, "a good education is after all very important these days. I keep telling Goku that, but does he listen? No, it's like there is no tomorrow. All he ever does is train. And now he's even has his only son training instead of studying. Nothing good will come of it, mark my words!. It may even be good if Goku went with you for a few days, Mr. Harris. It would give Gohan a chance to catch up on some of his studies."

Yes! Xander thought elated, the metaphorical foot was inside the metaphorical door at last.

"That would be great, Ma'am. And please, call me Xander. Is your husband close by?"

"That depends, Xander," Chichi smiled, "can you fly?"

"Yes I can, Ma'am," Xander nodded.

Chichi pointed to a nearby small river.

"Then you should follow that river upstream. You can find my husband and son, together with that deadbeat, Piccolo, not far away. If you find them could you please tell them lunch will be ready soon? Would you like to stay for lunch as well?"

"Oh, please, misses Son," Xander said, putting his right hand on is heart again, "I could not possibly bother you."

Chichi waved away his objections.

"It is of no bother," she said, "just a matter of an extra plate. Besides, a good and dear friend of Belmovekk is always welcome."

"In which case," Xander smiled, "I'd be happy to enjoy your generous hospitality. Belmovekk has told us everything of your unrivaled magic in the kitchen. But for now I must bid you goodbye as I go find your husband, Ma'am."

x


x

In the end it wasn't Xander who found the much fabled Goku and his friends but they who found him. As he flew upstream Xander couldn't help but wonder what the legendary Saiyan would be like in person. After all, for over a year he had been hearing stories about the great Saiyan warrior, now he was finally going to meet him. So he was a little less then observant when suddenly a huge green man blocked his path.

"And who might you be?" the man said, his white cape fluttering in the wind.

"That depends," Xander said, "my friends call me Xander. My enemies usually say shit fuck. And then they die..."

"You're the kid that Saiyan wizard is training," the green man grinned, baring his fanged teeth, "the one that had us scramble halfway across the world because we thought you were another Saiyan thug."

"And you must be the demon king Piccolo," Xander said, folding his arms across his chest, "I've seen your picture on the internet. You know, you look smaller in real life. Oh, and a friend of mine told me to tell you that shoulder pads went out of style together with the rest of the 80's."

"Lots of things went out of style, kid," Piccolo said grinning, "Although I like yours. What brings you here?"

Xander scratched the back of his head, not knowing how to start.

"I was hoping I could have a word with Goku," he finally said and proceeded to give a brief explanation of the situation back home.

"Why me?" Piccolo sighed and looked upwards, "I've come to know evil Saiyans, stupid Saiyans, arrogant Saiyans and now depressive Saiyans! You are heaving far too much fun at my expense!"

"Who are you talking too?" Xander asked.

"Divine providence, boy," Piccolo replied offhand, "come, I'll take you to Goku."

Piccolo turned around and flew upriver.

"I thought you guys were training together?" Xander said as he followed the green giant.

"Most of the time," Piccolo replied without looking back, "although sometimes he gets on my nerves and I train on my own for a while. If it weren't for Gohan..."

Xander could understand the sentiment and felt a momentary pang of jealousy. The kid had basically two dads and a mother. He just had two drunks.

Suddenly Xander felt something. During his stay with Krillin and Kame Senin he had finally been taught how to sense chi. Belmovekk always preferred the scouter even though nowadays he could also sense chi. But having his scouter crap out on him during the last apocalypse made Xander more open to the alternative. And on the way here he had more or less sensed Goku's chi. But suddenly his senses went of the charts. Then a huge blue beam shot up into the sky from a kilometer away.

"Goku I presume?" Xander said impressed.

"Who else," Piccolo snorted disgusted, "you know, kid, for once, just once, I wished Goku would do a Makankosapo or a Masenko, just for variety. Always the bloody Kamehameha."

"Don't say that, your Greenness," Xander exclaimed, wanting to smack the green Namek on the head. If it weren't for his massive steel helmet and being a little unsure how the Namek would react.

"Say what," Piccolo asked surprised.

"The W-word," Xander almost shouted, "last time I said it Giles threw a book at my head. Haven't you ever heard of vengeance demons?"

"Kid, I used to be the Demon King," Piccolo snorted unimpressed, "vengeance demons only pester your kind, not mine."

"Oops, sorry I said it."

"Nah, its okay, kid," Piccolo said impressed, "at least you aren't as ignorant as most people. They won't sucker you into a wish. There, you wanted to meet Goku, there he is."

As Piccolo and Xander descended Goku became visible in an open spot in the forest.

"Hey, hi there Piccolo," the Saiyan said when they landed, "back so soon? I thought you were gone for a few days. Did you bring a friend?"

Piccolo looked at Xander and then at Goku.

"Goku, meet Xander, he's one of Belmovekk's boys. You know, the one who had us all thinking he was a Saiyan?"

"Look," Xander interjected, "I have to say in my defense that it wasn't my idea. Or fault. The B-man made me do it!"

"The B-man?" Goku said surprised.

"Belmovekk, you idiot," Piccolo sighed.

From Goku's look the idea of nicknames was alien to the man. Then he shrugged.

"OK, how is he doing,?" he asked with a big warm smile.

"Not so well," Xander said and proceeded to tell the full story of what had transpired back in Sunnydale. Angel turning into Angelus, the curse and its specifics, the deal between Belmovekk and Angelus and the apocalypse the vampire had sought to bring and the aftermath.

"But you guys are going to help, right?" Xander asked afterwards, "Cause it can't go on like this."

"How can we not?" Goku said smiling warmly, "That is some place you guys live in."

"Living on a Hellmouth will do that," Piccolo agreed, "it just draws in the troublemakers. Before Kame Senin locked up my former self in that accursed bottle, I tried to end the world myself once at a Hellmouth. A Slayer managed to stop me in time. Of course, I did kill her in bloody revenge afterwards though."

Xander couldn't help but shudder as Piccolo smiled while he reminisced.

"OK, for the record," Xander said, "I could so have done without that particular piece of information."

"Don't worry, kid, my evil days are over. Most of the time," Piccolo grinned.

"Ha ha, very funny," Xander snorted, "overbite!"

"Overbite?" asked Goku surprised looking from Xander Piccolo to Xander and back again..

"I think he's referring to my teeth," Piccolo said and bared his fangs..

"Yeah, they always do look kind of big," Goku said scratching his hair, "I always wondered why though, you never eat anything."

"Maybe I got a certain image to upkeep," Piccolo replied and straightened his back causing his cape to flutter, "I was the Demon King after all."

"You only let it slip about a gazillion times," Xander said offhand.

"Oh, really? I didn't notice," Piccolo replied.

"That's OK, your Greenness," Xander smiled and patted the Namek on the back, "I'm sure age does that to the mind."

"Keep that up and you won't reach that age," the Namek said softly.

Before Xander could reply a voice came from behind of them.

"Hey dad, look what I caught!"

It was Gohan and he had emerged triumphantly from the river holding up the biggest freshwater fish Xander had ever seen. It was at least two meters long and the kid carried it like it was nothing.

"Great son," Goku said proud, "let's bring it home for dinner. Your mother will be proud!"

"Again fish for dinner?" Piccolo groaned, "That's three weeks straight now."

"Why do you care,?" Goku asked surprised, "you don't eat. All you need is water."

"Maybe I like to smell something else for a change while I have to watch you stuffing your face?" the Namek replied sullen.

"Who's this, dad?" Gohan asked looking at Xander. Xander meanwhile was too surprised to have introduced himself. He knew the kid was strong, he had been hearing it for over a year. But seeing and sensing it in person right in front of him was something else. This kid was already stronger then he probably would ever be.

"Son, this is Xander," Goku said, "he's being trained by Belmovekk."

"I am pleased to meet you, Xander," Gohan said and bowed formally, still holding his huge, two meter long fish.

"Same here, Gohan, I have heard much about you," Xander replied, still not believing this child, barely 10, was already hundreds of times stronger then he was. It just wasn't fair. T.A.N.J.!"

"That's some big fish you got there for a river," Xander said .

"There's a canned food factory a few miles upstream," replied Goku, "they throw their garbage into the river. The fish must like to feed there."

Piccolo bowed over to Xander.

"There's a nuclear plant that used to be further upriver that probably has more to do with it," Piccolo whispered, "Saiyans may be indestructible, but even I am not drinking from that river."

Xander sniggered as he could barely contain his laughter, earning weird looks from both Goku and Gohan. Then he remembered something.

"Speaking of fish," he said, "that reminds me, your wife asked me to tell you that lunch would be ready soon."

"Ah, good, just enough time for a quick spar," Goku grinned looking very eagerly towards Xander.

"Who, me?" Xander replied surprised.

"You're the fresh meat, kid," Piccolo grinned, "besides, I'm on my own training regime, remember?"

"Ever since I heard he was training you guys I've been dying for a chance to spar," Goku said as he did a few quick stretches.

"But Goku, I rate barely 260 on a scouter," Xander objected.

"I was not much more then that at your age and it took me most of my life to get that far. I think both of us were at that level at our Budokai match, didn't we," Goku said looking at Piccolo.

"Must be," The Namek shrugged, "Radditz measured you at 416 and me at 408 only 5 years later. To reach 250 in a year is actually quite a good achievement, kid. Maybe we should all train with Belmovekk. He seems to get good results."

"But he doesn't have that many special moves though," Goku said, "at least ones that I can do."

"It's not always about special techniques, dumbass," Piccolo said, "or have you forgotten how he always beats you into a draw without having to resort to a Kamehameha?"

"Precisely why I want to spar with Xander," Goku said enthusiastically, "I've fought against students of every martial arts school there is. Except his."

"Saiyans!" Piccolo muttered.

x


x

Meanwhile Buffy had been telling her story to Vegeta, who seemed very disinterested, as he just sat there looking bored. Still, it felt good to finally be able to tell anyone her side of the story. And in a way it was even better that Vegeta seemed so disinterested, it made it more easy.

"And that's why I couldn't bear to face my friends and left," Buffy finished, wiping away her tears.

Vegeta said nothing but just sat there. Normally she would be delighted at that, but now, after having spilled her guts she'd at least welcome a reaction at least.

]Anything.

"Don't you have anything to say?" she asked.

"I'm still pissed the world almost ended and I didn't know anything about it," Vegeta said offhand. Buffy couldn't believe her ears.

"What?" she yelled, her voice going up an octave, "You want to be on the mailing list? These things happen, T.A.F. . Especially on this fucked up world!"

Vegeta thought about that and then shrugged.

"It is of no concern," he said, "even if you didn't stop it then it wouldn't have posed any danger to me."

The arrogance of Saiyans can only be matched by their power, Buffy thought. And probably not even by that.

"And the being full of themselves award goes to his royal weirdness," she said shaking her head.

"Now that we've talked can we finally go?" Vegeta asked, nodding towards the door again, "Maybe it's too late to do a full workout but if I bring you home I might be able to do some short katas."

"Incredible," Buffy said, "you're like a broken record. Train, train, train, train! That's all you think about. And no, we didn't do any talking. I just talked, you barely listened."

"Females!" Vegeta exclaimed rolling his eyes, "Fine, we talk some more. Was that whole sorry excuse for a story what this is all about? Is that why you are hiding here and Movekk feels depressed? By the Seven Hells of Jerherherod, I don't know which of you two is more pathetic. In fact I'd have the flesh whipped of both your backs for such behavior."

"But can't you see that what he did was wrong?" she gasped, "He had no right to do what he did."

"Why not?" Vegeta asked dead serious.

"You don't lie to people like that," she said, a tear starting to roll again, "Angel was my friend, my love. This man could have restored his soul when he had the chance."

"Restore?" Vegeta snorted out loud, "He should have bloody well killed him. He should have let me kill him when he brought that sorry carcass to my gym! He's clearly no longer the Movekk I remember, the man has gone soft."

"RAAH!," Buffy yelled in pure frustration, "There is just no talking to you Saiyans! Everything is so black and white with you guys!"

"Everything is black and white, Summers," Vegeta shrugged, "there is only kill, or be killed."

"I should have known better then to expect understanding from the likes of you," Buffy said shaking her head, "you probably never loved anybody but yourself in your whole life. If you had, you'd know that you would do anything for that person."

"Bah, love is for cattle," Vegeta said in disgust, "I was too busy training. I had already reached a level of 5000 by the time I was ten. I had better things to do then love. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, the choosing of the royal consort is a matter of strictly genetics and politics. To create a better and stronger heir while strengthening the ties between influential houses. Naturally I assumed my father would choose well."

"All that fighting, all that training, genetics, poor guy," Buffy said quasi-sympathetic, "you probably never even had a single date in your life."

Vegeta stood up angry and kicked back his chair. It slammed against the wall with a loud bang. Buffy was amazed it didn't splinter..

"Are you insinuating that I am not a man, Summers? I have killed many for less. If I had the urge, I took. There were plenty of serving women at my father's palace, never any shortage either when I was in Freeza's service. Freeza was a fop, but he always provided well for his men in every way."

"Well, here on Earth we don't take kindly to rape, TAFKAP! Here we respect people's right to choose."

"No they don't," objected Vegeta as he reached for his chair again, "I have seen your 2D holo-novels. Everybody is always interfering in each others lives. No sooner get people together as their so called 'friends' start meddling."

"2D holo-novels?" Buffy asked surprised.

Vegeta looked at her as if she was some ignorant hillbilly.

"You know,' he said, "that thing with the view screen that has people sitting in front of them getting fat."

"You mean television?" Buffy suggested.

"Whatever," Vegeta waved as he sat down again.

"You watch television?" Buffy asked having a hard time to picture the prince of all Saiyans watching the idiot tube, "I thought you Saiyans all fall asleep watching TV? Your fellow, which I won't name here, he always falls asleep whenever we are watching a movie."

"I only watch a little," huffed Vegeta, "usually around four as Bulma's mother serves tea and cakes and I have to take a break anyway. She watches the stuff anyway, I just watch along. What's so funny, Summers?"

The idea of Vegeta, butchest and most evil of all Saiyans, watching daytime soap operas with a cup of tea in one hand and a cake in his other had Buffy almost rolling on the floor with laughter.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, still laughing.

"Look," Vegeta said annoyed at her laughter, "lets get back to the matter at hand otherwise I'm still here tomorrow."

"There is nothing to say," Buffy replied wiping away a tear of laughter, "he lied, I lost faith in him."

"He is the head of your house. It's his job to make such decisions."

Somehow Vegeta could say things like that and look absolutely dead serious, Buffy thought as she leaned back against the counter and folded her arms across her chest.

"Last time I checked my last name is still Summers, not Belmovekk or even Movekk, or whatever his last name is."

"We have none. Summers," Vegeta said, then he looked away, "My father had great stock in him. More then he ever did in me."

That last part sounded a bit less arrogant then the rest, tinged with regret and jealousy. Vegeta looked away as he continued.

"My father trusted him with his plans for the future of our race. He never told me anything. That tells me enough of Movekk. That you should count your lucky stars that he ever took pity on an insect as yourself."

"Yet your race died out," Buffy countered slightly gloating, "snuffed out by the big bad."

"That was not Movekk's fault, Summers," Vegeta replied coldly, "Freeza feared the power of the Saiyan race and the coming of the legendary Super Saiyan. We had grown too strong for him to control us for much longer, so he killed us before we became that threat. He was just too strong for any of us to do anything about it. I know this, I fought Freeza. I thought at one time I could win and beat him, I was..., wrong."

Vegeta looked down towards the floor as he remembered how Freeza had humiliated and butchered him on planet Namek. Then he continued.

"He killed me like I was nothing. I will never let any being in this universe do this to me again."

Buffy was impressed, considering he was the most arrogant bastard she knew who wasn't undead, he actually opened up a little.

"Now, we have talked," Vegeta said, ruining the moment, "can we finally go?"

"Oh, Saiyans!" Buffy said angrily throwing up her hands and got up, "That's it, I'm going to my room and you're not invited!"

x


x

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, Xander was nurturing some painful bruises and a throbbing black eye as he sat on the Son family dinner table. Luckily for him Chichi was gently tending to his black eye with a special ointment of hers.

"Shame on you, Goku, for abusing poor Xander here," she said sternly at her husband. Who sat together with his son and Piccolo at a very well stocked dinner table.

"I'm sorry Chichi, it was an accident," Goku pleaded with his wife, "I got carried away! Honest!"

"In your husband's defense, it really was an accident," Piccolo said. Against what should have been better judgment he immediately realized.

"Oh hush," Chichi snorted angrily, "you're just as much to blame with your bad influence on my husband. You two are like two small children. Always encouraging each other into trouble!"

Xander had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing as he saw Piccolo go from looking flabbergasted to giving Goku the 'your on your own now' look.

"But Chichi," Goku whimpered sorry for himself, "can I at least eat? I'm starving!"

"You'll have to wait until I'm finished with poor Xander here," Chichi said coldly, "until then, no eating for you!"

"Oh," Goku groaned dejected as he looked longing at all the delicious looking food in front of him.

When Xander and Goku had started their spar, at first Xander didn't do so bad. True to his fighting style he went all out and tried to keep the Saiyan on the defensive. Fighting the Saiyan was quite the experience. Most Sunnydale demons didn't pose much problems. Last time he sparred with Oz, he was still too much focused on getting the forms right. Buffy tended to mix everything up but it was usually her mood which determined the way she fought. Belmovekk tried to gain dominance in battle and finish the fight as soon as possible. Goku however, you could see the guy was loving any minute of it. This guy loved to fight for fighting's sake.

Of course, if Xander had let it at that and kept it lighthearted he wouldn't have Goku's wife tending to his black eye right now. Feeling a little intimidated at fighting the great Goku, Xander had taken things a little too serious and gone a little way too all out. So he soon learned why Goku had such an impressive reputation. The guy just didn't know the meaning of the word surrender. It was just not in his character to yield. So when Xander became a little too serious, so did Goku. Who unfortunately just wasn't that used anymore to fighting at this low a level.

"Chichi, the food is getting cold," Goku complained in a last ditch effort.

"I'm almost done," Goku's replied wife, "you know, Goku, when you go with Xander back to see Belmovekk you should use the opportunity to see some of the universities there for Gohan."

Goku looked at Gohan, who suddenly looked like a frightened deer caught in a speeding car's headlight.

"But Chichi, he's only 8 years old. Isn't that..."

"Ah! No butts, mister muscles for brains," she said, re-establishing her dominance, "it's bad enough that you are endangering Gohan's future with this mad training scheme of yours. You promised me that when this is over Gohan's education would be all that mattered. You cannot prepare for the right schools too early. And a distinguished American university would look very good on his resume. Sunnydale is not that far from Berkeley and I heard the University of California even has a dependence in Sunnydale itself. If Belmovekk can provide college funds for Xander and his friends, at the very least you can drop by and get me some brochures and application forms."

"OK," Goku sighed defeated. While Chichi's tirade went on, Piccolo was slowly inching towards the door. Not quickly enough as it turned out.

"And where do you think you're going?" Chichi asked, giving the Namek one of her patented glares.

"I, uh...," stuttered the big green Namek.

Busted! Xander thought. Not even the mighty Namek stood a chance with her. Goku's wife would probably have instilled the fear of God in Angelus. And he was as mad as a loon. It was almost worth it bringing the bastard back just for that.

"If you think I'm letting you remain in the neighborhood you're sadly mistaken, mister," she said to Piccolo, "You're going with Goku. Gohan needs a few days off to do some homework and I know you. If you stay here there would be no chance of him doing anything but hanging around with you."

"But..., I..., uh..., training...," Piccolo tried to protest.

Again, Xander thought, deer, speeding car, headlight.

Chichi pointed her finger at Piccolo like a headmistress does at an unruly small child.

"I will have no butts from you either, mister!"

"Fine, I'll also go," Piccolo huffed as he tried to at least salvage something of his reputation, "I always was curious of that place anyway."

"There, I'm finished," Chichi said to Xander, switching instantly from dominatrix back to cheerful housewife, "how does that feel, young man?"

He had to admit, the ointment felt great on his swollen black eye. He could just feel the pressure getting lighter..

"Absolutely amazing, Mrs. Son," Xander said as he carefully touched the swelling.

"If you apply some more of it before you go to sleep you'll find that the swellings will be gone by tomorrow," Chichi smiled, "shall I give you a jar for you to take home?"

"Mrs. Son, you are an angel in disguise," Xander smiled, right hand on his heart again, "I wish my mother was just like you!"

"You're such a sweet young man," Chichi smiled.

"Can we finally eat?" Goku asked again, looking bored to the window, his fingers tapping on the table.

Chi chi's smile disappeared like snow in a desert as she turned to face her husband.

"I have to first put this away in the cellar, Goku, so you just wait some more. Consider it punishment!"

"Oh," Goku groaned.

No sooner had Chichi gone to the basement when Piccolo gave Xander a deathglare.

"I wish my mother was just like you," he said in a poor imitation of Xander.

"Hey, Toxic Avenger, if you knew my mother you'd knew I wasn't just being polite," Xander retorted, "and for the record, me getting a blue eye, very painful. Seeing two of the strongest men in the universe being pussy whipped by a woman, absolutely priceless!"

"What's pussy whipped, dad," Gohan asked, just as Chichi emerged from the cellar. Hearing her son say that made Chichi look absolutely venomously at Piccolo.

"What?" the Namek exclaimed at her accusing glare, "I didn't..., oh forget it! If anyone needs me I'm outside."

After lunch Xander and Goku emerged from the Son household, with Piccolo floating outside in his favorite position. Arms crossed across his chest, legs folded underneath him and meditating. Piccolo opened one eye and looked at Goku and Xander.

"Finished stuffing your face?" he said to Goku.

"I thought the B-man was a spectacle to behold when eating," Xander said clearly impressed, "but this guy makes a pack of ravenous hyenas look tame by comparison. And I know hyenas. You could lose an arm reaching for some of the food."

"That's Goku for ya," Piccolo agreed, "he grew up in the wilderness and table manners didn't come with them. Amazing that his wife never pussy whipped some table manners into him."

"I guess even she knows you can't win some battles," Xander grinned.

"Indeed."

"Why is everybody always talking about my table manners," Goku said looking at the both of them, "I have manners. Don't I use chop sticks?"

"That you do," Xander said, "now look, I'm not as fast as you guys, nor can I travel halfway across the world. I still have a ticket from Chengdu to Shanghai and from there to LAX. Why don't you guys go ahead without me and I'll see you guys tomorrow. It's not that hard to find. Go east until you reach the Hellmouth, then it's just a short distance to 1630 Revello Drive."

"No need for you to go through all of that," Goku said, as Piccolo unfolded himself from his floating meditation and landed beside Goku and laid his hand on the Saiyan's shoulder.

"Just put your hand on my shoulder," Goku said and put two fingers on his forehead.

"Why?" Xander asked and did as the Saiyan asked. No sooner had he done that when the scenery changed from the lovely Sichuan hills in the afternoon to horrible Sunnydale at night. 1630 Revello Drive Sunnydale at night to be precise.

"Oh, I see," Xander said stunned, "I guess welcome to Sunnydale?"

"Ah, the stench of a Hellmouth," Piccolo said impressed as he looked around him, "that brings back memories."

All that was missing was the Namek taking a big sniff and sighing contently.

"Geez, Xander, what on Earth is wrong with this place," Goku asked, grabbing his stomach, "I feel like I have to throw up!"

"Considering how much you just ate, why am I not surprised," Xander said and pointed to the street, "please not on Joyce's lawn, your Awesomeness. if you have to hurl chunks, use the gutter instead. And what you are feeling by the way, is home sweet home. It's the Hellmouth, baby!"

"It makes my stomach churn," Goku grimaced, "how on Earth can Belmovekk stand it?"

"You'll get used to it, your Awesomeness, like a bad stench," Xander said and knocked on the door, "home, stink, home!"

The door opened and a very surprised Willow opened the door..

"Xander," she exclaimed, being pleasantly surprised, "what are you doing here? Shouldn't you still be..., ohmigod! He's so….., green? And big and stuff!"

Willow couldn't help staring at the sight of the mighty Namek.

"Relax Wills," Xander grinned and patted his friend on the back, "yes, my buddy Piccolo here is big and green. And although he likes to mention that he used to be the Demon King in about every sentence, he is, like the Hitchhikers guide to the universe says, mostly harmless."

"Hey," the Namek exclaimed annoyed, "I'm not harmless! And I killed people for less!"

"Sure," Xander grinned, "as for how I got here so quickly, that guy over there trying not to puke on Joyce's front lawn doesn't need Scotty to beam himself up."

"Is that...," Willow asked, looking at Goku, "Is that him?"

"That's him, Wills, the one and only. Although by now I imagine he wi..., oops, ponders that he maybe ate a little less for lunch. And knowing the eating habits of the B-man you can probably imagine how much this guy ate."

Willow looked at Xander huge grin and then at Goku almost blowing his lunch.

"Who is it, Willow?" came from inside, then Giles walked into the picture, "Xander, you're already back? That's quick?"

"What can I say, G-man," Xander pointed at Goku, "amongst his many talents it would seem his Awesomeness here can also teleport."

"I think I'm feeling a bit better now," Goku said, still clenching his stomach.

"Are you sure?" Piccolo asked, leaning over till he was close to Goku, "Those were some pretty fatty foods you ate, Goku. Deep fried dumplings, filled pigs stomach in a thick black bean sauce, greasy pork chops with spicy butter sauce, followed by..."

Before Piccolo could finish the Saiyan was already reaching for his mouth again.

"Piccolo, please," Xander said, "I'm all for a bit of fun, but if you make Goku drive the porcelain bus on the front lawn I'm going to make you clean it up. God ,are you guys ever serious?"

"Hey, you try living with that crazy wife of his for over a year," Piccolo countered, "just be glad you're not getting any payback over that pussy whipping incident!"

"Pussy whipping incident?" Willow asked, giving Xander a stern look, "What on Earth happened back there?"

"You had to be there, Wills, you had to be there," Xander said and went over to Goku, "just breath. If you like Joyce can make you some tea."

"It's OK, Xander," Goku said still clenching his stomach, "it's just this place."

Xander patted Goku on the back.

"I know, dude, it takes some getting used to. Especially when your senses are trained. I also almost hurled chunks myself when I returned a few days ago."

"I think I can handle it now, Xander," the Saiyan said, still rubbing his stomach but a little less pale.

"Good, come inside. I'll introduce you to the gang."

x


x

"I feel like deja vu," Joyce said as they sat waiting in the living room. As Goku was upstairs with Belmovekk., she, Giles and the Namek sat together in the living room.

"What do you mean?" Giles asked curious.

"Well," Joyce said, "suddenly it feels like yesterday that the world was going to end and Buffy sat where you now sit and that Spike guy sat where, uh, what was your name again?"

"Piccolo, Ma'am," the Namek replied slightly uncomfortable since he barely knew these people.

"Piccolo right," Joyce said, "and Piccolo now sitting where Spike sat. It's like time never changed."

"Time can be funny like that," Piccolo said.

"Yes it can," Joyce sighed, then she looked the Namek in the eyes. Which wasn't easy since he was so large.

"Can I get you something by the way?" she asked, "Tea? Coffee? Lemonade? Cola? Beer? Blood?"

"Water will be fine, Ma'am," Piccolo replied courteously. At least he was relieved that the third Saiyan had found himself a woman who wasn't a howling banshee on steroids.

No sooner as Joyce got up when Piccolo looked at Giles.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I was?" Giles said surprised, "I, uh, um, I-I-I'm sorry. It's just that..."

"Yes, I used to be the Demon King," Piccolo sighed and rolled his eyes.

Giles leaned over all enthusiastically.

"Y-y-you must be able to, um, tell some fascinating stories! According to the w-w-Watchers journals I've read you must have killed at least three Slayers!"

"They're wrong," Piccolo grinned, "it was five."

"Really?" Giles said shocked, "T-the journals only list Zhou Ming..."

"1821, yes."

"A-and Ning Shu Hao..."

Piccolo looked upwards as he remembered.

"1652 I think, she was a feisty one," he said grinning at the memory, "she managed to cut off one of my arms. The look on her face when I regenerated was priceless though."

"And then there was Vin Trin Thieu."

Piccolo remembered some more, but this time to no avail.

"I'm not familiar with that name," he finally said.

"Uh, Hue 1467," said Giles.

Piccolo did a quick mental calculation, then he grinned.

"Ah, that girl! That one was a quickie, she didn't even give me her name. The first Slayer I killed though was Ming Lei Ping, 1398 in the Imperial City."

"G-good god, that was you?" Giles exclaimed in surprise, "we had it pegged as a local vampire crime lord."

"Puhlease!," Piccolo snorted in disgust, "That guy? I took over his operation in a matter of days. Kept him as a figurehead though. Probably why your statistics were wrong."

Giles nodded in understanding.

"And what was, um, the other one?"

"Nagasaki 1776," Piccolo smiled, "Margreet van Houten, Dutch girl living in the trading enclave there."

"Of course," Giles nodded, "we could never explain her death. If we had known you were in the area at the time we would have made the connection.

"It was purely by coincidence that we met," Piccolo said.

"You people give me the chills," Joyce said as she put a glass of water in front of Piccolo on the table, "one casually remembers the people he killed, the other knows them all by heart as casual statistics."

"You'll have to excuse me, Joyce, but that is my job. I must know these things," Giles said.

"And I didn't really do it, Ma'am," Piccolo said, "I'm just a clone of the original Demon King. He was killed years ago."

I'm not even the original offspring of the Demon King, filled to the brim with hatred towards Goku, Piccolo thought. His fusion with that other Namekian warrior Nail had forever seen to that. The other Namek still occupying a small part of his mind.

"So how many months pregnant are you, Ma'am?" Piccolo asked, to change the subject.

"It's starting to show isn't it," Joyce said and started to rub her distended belly.

A lot actually, Piccolo thought.

"She's in her sixth month," Giles said.

"Rupert has been a good friend ever since Buffy ran away and Belmovekk fell into despair," Joyce smiled and took Giles hand into hers, "helping out wherever he could. God I feel so bloated these days. And I thought carrying Buffy had been bad. Compared to carrying twins she was nothing."

As soon as he heard the word twins Piccolo sprayed water all over the place from the glass he was drinking.

"Did you say twins? From him?" Piccolo asked with huge eyes and pointed upstairs.

"I know just how you feel," Giles sighed.

x


x

Upstairs Xander and Willow were sitting outside Belmovekk's room, opposite each other on the floor as inside the two Saiyans were talking. Luckily this had been a good night, so the Saiyan wasn't as drunk as usual, requiring only a cold shower and a pot of strong coffee to sober up.

"So how are you and Oz these days?" Xander asked.

"We're doing OK," Willow replied, "although we don't seem to be getting much time for the smoochies lately. Luckily school starts tomorrow so we can spend some time together, even if it is in school."

"Thanks for reminding me about school, Will," Xander groaned as he slowly shook his head, "I just managed to block that out."

"But you would get to see Cordelia again and stuff?" Willow smiled her best naughty smile.

"Yeah, there is that," Xander said, eyes looking upwards, a smile on his face at the thought, "her Bitchiness, the upside to the downside."

Willow shook her head.

"I still can't fathom what you see in her, Xan," she said, "but at least it will be nice to see some other faces again."

"Like Larry the School bully," Xander suggested.

"Even Larry," Willow said, then her face lightened up, "Remember when he used to beat us up for lunch money and you would prefer to take the beating rather then give up your lunch money?"

"I'd be damned if anyone took away the few dollars my parents saw fit to give me to buy some sugary goodness," Xander snorted, then he smiled, "Ah, happy days! It was all so simple back then. Just the three of us, you, me and Jesse."

The mentioning of their lost friend's name saddened the both of them.

"I miss Jesse, Xander," Willow said melancholic

"Me too, Will," Xander said staring at the floor. Neither said anything for a moment, then Xander spoke up again.

"Say, why is Oz still going to school this year and not to college? He was a senior, right?"

"His grades slipped last year, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Xander said, "The famous Dingo's ate my Babies world wide Southern California tour. But what about summer school?"

"He's been training every day in the gravity gym," Willow said, "and doing some patrolling at night as well, remember?"

"I forgot," Xander said and looked at the door, "they've been at it for quite a while now, haven't they?"

"I hope it works, Xander," Willow said looking over her shoulder, "I'm at an end. We all are. The only other option is that we all go to LA and convince Buffy to come back."

"I still have one scheme going in that department," Xander grinned, "the B-man isn't the only one who can come up with crazy ideas."

"You had another idea to bring Buffy back," Willow said excited, "tell me!"

"Nah," Xander smirked looking very self-satisfied, "I'm keeping that a secret until I know it worked."

"Spoilsport," Willow snorted.

Xander shrugged.

"It is a long shot anyway. Truly diabolical though. If she does come back she is so going to kick my ass for it."

"Speaking of ass kicking," Willow asked as she leaned over, "I've been meaning to ask you ever since you came back, but what happened to you eye?"

Xander inadvertently reached for his blackened eye

"His Awesomeness in there happened," Xander said and pointed to the door, "Once his enthusiasm starts going there is no stopping him. His Awesomeness desired a little pre-lunch spar and I accidentally stopped his punch by using my eye."

"Poor Xander," Willow pouted as she reached out for it, with Xander wincing slightly at her touch, "did it hurt?"

"I've had worse," Xander shrugged, then he grinned, "not as much as my revenge did though. His wife was furious when she learned of this little mishap. For some reason she took a liking to me and wasn't pleased to see hubby leaving a fist imprint on my mug. Muhahahaha! Poor Goku, the strongest man in the universe and he happens to be married to a woman who's a mix of Martha Stewart's housekeeping and Peggy Bundy's viciousness. Times ten!"

"So what did she do?" Willow asked curious.

"She made him wait for ten minutes before he could start eating all the food that was before him on the table. And you've seen the B-man eat. That is pure torture to Saiyans. Plus he has to remain here for a few days, look into some suitable universities for his kid."

"Him?" Willow exclaimed pointing over her shoulder, "I don't picture him going to the school guidance councilor."

"Neither do I. Muhahaha! Ah, vengeance can be sweet," Xander said feeling very full of himself, "maybe I should apply to become one of them vengeance demons?"

Willow kicked against his leg.

"Auw!"

"That's not funny, Xander! I was with Giles last week when one of them came by and gave him a list of what they are doing. They're everywhere!"

"And how goes the magic training, Wills?" Xander asked, quickly changing the subject while rubbing his sore leg.

"It's sorcery, Xander!"

"Whatever!"

Willow bit her lip before she continued.

"Not making much leeway at the moment. Whenever he's up and about Belmovekk is either mostly training Oz, showing his face around town or off on some trip. So it's mostly Giles who's teaching me stuff. Letting me study some of his magic books. But I am getting better though, look!"

Willow looked at one of Belmovekk's half empty bottles and one of them started to float."

"Whoa Will, a floating bottle," Xander said quasi-impressed, "that will so come in handy during a barfight!"

The bottle fell on the floor as Willow looked at Xander.

"That's not funny Xander, It's hard practicing under the..."

Suddenly the door opened and Belmovekk came out, clutching his head.

"Torak's teeth! Do you have to be so loud at it!" the Saiyan exclaimed, looking very much like somebody with a splitting headache, "It is giving me a splitting headache."

"I-I-I'm sorry," Willow said jumpy, "but if I can't practice..."

"It's OK, young lady," the Saiyan said looking already apologetic for his outburst, "it's OK, really. It is my fault, clearly alcohol and burgeoning sorcery do not mix. "

"Good to see you up and about, B-man," Xander said as he got up and gave the Saiyan a hand.

"Well, yeah," Belmovekk said, shaking Xander's hand while still massaging his head with the other, "me and old Kakarot here had a good heart to heart."

"So it worked then?" Xander asked curious.

The Saiyan nodded.

"He straightened me out, my young friend. He may look simple but at times he can be, um, insightful when he wants too."

"Ah, geez, Belmovekk," Goku's voice came from behind Belmovekk, "next thing you're going to say I do have a brain!"

Belmovekk looked over his shoulder.

"I would not want to go that far, Kakarot, maybe the odd brain cell here and there."

"So does this mean your drinking days are over, B-man?" Xander asked.

"Yes, my young friend, my drinking days are over," the Saiyan sorcerer replied and with a shake of his hand the bottles next to the door lifted into the air and vanish with a loud poof and whisk of smoke.

"I'm curious, Goku," Willow asked, "What did you say to him that we couldn't?"

"Only seven words," the Saiyan grinned.

"Which were?"

"Seven words that will forever remain a secret between Kakarot and me, young lady," Belmovekk said looking at Goku, "let us go downstairs!"

As they moved downstairs an animated discussion could be heard.

"I have to strongly disagree, Rupert," Piccolo's voice said, "you are plainly wrong!"

"But surely you can see the advantages as I stated them," Giles' voice said.

"Rupert, Rupert," Piccolo said, as if chiding a small child, "it may look good on paper, but have you ever actually been an evil crime lord?"

"Uh, no. But that is, um, beside the point, Piccolo, studies clearly indicate that..."

"They are wrong," The Namek said resolutely

The debate came to a standstill when the two Saiyans entered the room. Joyce, who until then had been sitting very bored, got up quickly and walked over to Belmovekk.

"Are you alright, Belmo," she asked worried, "no more drinking?"

"I have been seen better days, Joyce," the Saiyan smiled at her, "but yes, my drinking days are over."

"Promise?"

Belmovekk held up his right hand

"I swear, so help me, Aldur!"

"It was a great idea, G-man, to call in his Awesomeness," Xander said, "although I'm still not sure what has been said."

"I concur," Giles said looking at Goku "I also wonder what you managed to say that we couldn't, Goku?"

"Nothing much," Goku smiled scratching his hair, "just seven words."

"Of which you will never, ever, speak again," Belmovekk said, looking sternly at Goku..

"Surely more has to have been said," said Giles, "you were up there for more then an hour."

"Mostly it was a mind thing," Goku said, "We even did some mental sparring."

"Ah, the old mental version of beating some sense into him," Piccolo grinned, who then looked suddenly outside.

"Let's keep it at that," Belmovekk agreed.

"I for one don't care how you did it, I'm just grateful," Joyce said and then she hugged and kissed Goku.

"Ah, it was nothing really," the Saiyan said, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"What?" Joyce said, then looking downwards, "Oh, I keep forgetting that I have this huge thing in front of me these days."

"And it's a beautiful thing, Joyce," Belmovekk said and touched her stomach, "hey, you can feel them kicking."

"Them?," Goku said surprised.

"Oops, did I leave that out," Xander said, grinning evilly and bringing his right hand pinky to the corner of his mouth.

"Great," Piccolo muttered, "more Saiyan brats!"

"Great news," Goku said exuberantly and embracing his fellow Saiyan, "I'm so happy for you two. So when are you going to get married?"

"Married?" Joyce exclaimed surprised.

"Married?" Belmovekk exclaimed similarly, then he looked thoughtfully at Joyce, "Maybe we should? What do you think, Joyce?"

We really should get a photo camera, Xander thought, the chance to shoot such moments of embarrassment to exploit for future embarrassment was just too great to ignore. The look on Joyce's face just begged to be captured for posterity.

"Me? I don't know," she said a little hesitant, "would you like to?"

The Saiyan took her hands.

"I would love to, Joyce," he said looking in her eyes, "you are going to be the mother of my children. And you stood by me these difficult days. Until death do us part does not sound so bad in that respect."

"Especially since he's still going to be hot and eligible when that ha….," Xander said before a painful elbow from Willow shut him up, "Auw!"

"Xander," Willow said sternly, with Giles looking very approvingly at the girl for hitting Xander in front of everybody.

"Sorry," Xander said rubbing his sore spot, "couldn't help myself."

Goku looked at Belmovekk, then Joyce. He then folds his arms across his chests with one hand cupping his chin.

"I know the human way to ask a girl," Goku wondered out loud, "but ever since I learned I was a Saiyan I've always wondered, what would be the Saiyan way to do it?"

Belmovekk went immediately into lecture mode.

"Either the respective parents go and talk with each other to arrange things, or the suitor goes to the father of the girl and asks for his permission," Belmovekk said.

"What, no battling the father to the death?" Piccolo asked surprised.

"Who do you think we were, barbarians?" Belmovekk said.

"Uh, yes?"

Belmovekk shook his head at Piccolo's cheek, then looked at Joyce.

"So Joyce, do you know where I might find your..., um, father?"

"But my father is long dead," Joyce said.

"Your mother then?" Belmovekk suggested.

"My mother is also dead."

"That complicates things," Belmovekk said and scratched his head, "Do you have a brother then?"

"I was an only child," smiled Joyce apologetic.

"There is no other family patriarch or matriarch to speak to?" the Saiyan suggested.

"My parents were it," Joyce said apologetic, "I'm sorry. We didn't have much family ties in my family."

This was the moment Giles choose to speak up.

"While I'm, um, all in f-favor of cultural idiosyncrasies," he said, "sometimes there is just no beating the old saying, when in Rome..."

"What exactly does that mean?" Goku asked Piccolo.

"He means that since there is no way to do it Saiyan style maybe he should go for the human approach instead, dimwit," Piccolo said, still looking outside of the window.

"Then why didn't he say so?" Goku asked puzzled.

Piccolo sighed.

"Because you cannot expect everybody to hold up cue cards for you, captain stupid!"

"Master Giles, a word," Belmovekk said and gestured Giles to come forward and took him aside by his shoulder.

"What exactly is the human way of doing it?" he whispered. Giles whispered something back.

A surprised 'that's it?' could be heard. Upon which Giles nodded.

"It seems so bare and plain, master Giles," Belmovekk said somewhat disappointed.

"Some would say that's the beauty of it, Belmovekk," Giles said as he patted the Saiyan on his back.

Meanwhile Willow was hugging Xander, sniffing away a tear with all phasers on gush.

"Isn't this exciting, Xan?" she sniffed, "I wish Oz and Buffy were here! "

"Careful, Will," Xander said softly, "you just said the W-word, remember!"

"Oh hush," she said dismissively, "you just don't have a single romantic bone in your whole body."

"Sure I do, Will," Xander smirked, "just ask Cordelia."

She hit him on the back of his head.

"Auw!"

"I'm not talking about that bone, you moron!"

"This is going to get cloying," Piccolo said disgusted, a shiver running down his spine, "I never understood all this romantic stuff."

"I think its sweet," Goku smiled, putting his hand on Piccolo's shoulder pad, "I can't wait to tell Chichi. She'll go all teary eyes which means that later in the bedroom..."

"Bad mental picture, Goku," Piccolo said, "just leave it at that."

"Whatever you wish, Piccolo," Goku grinned.

"Alright," Belmovekk said and clasped Giles' shoulder for strength, causing the librarian to wince, "let's do this."

The Saiyan dropped onto one knee and held up his right hand which he presented to Joyce, a small velvet box appearing in it.

"For thee, thy fairest lady. Countless tales of thine beauty have been told to me and these words do not credit thee foreasmuch as words can be adequately used to describe the beauty of damsels such as thyself, whereupon, having learned in fact and weren't it against the customs of this fair and beauteous world I would duel anyone to the death for the hand of a most fair and handsome maiden as thou'd are't but alas, such things are not to be allowed and would foreasmuch distress thee greatly so I would have no recourse but to most humbly ask thy hand myself in matrimony, thy most humbly and lowly servant, Belmovekk!"

"Show off," Piccolo snorted.

"Willow, you have competition," Xander grinned, "that was a full blown Willowgasm."

A hard elbow was her angry reply.

"Auw!"

"Why do you have to keep ruining the moment?" Willow whispered disapprovingly.

"I don't know," Xander groaned, "maybe because I'm a guy?"

"I guess that was, quite original," Joyce said, "I, uh, I do?"

Belmovekk smirked in triumph and opened the box to take out a ring and put it onto Joyce's finger.

"I'm engaged, people," Joyce said with a big smile and held up her ring. Everyone but Piccolo starts to congratulate the new couple.

"NO," a lone voice suddenly said.

All heads turn around.

It was Buffy, standing in the hall, still in her waitress uniform, with behind her Vegeta smirking evilly.

For a while nobody said anything, until finally Piccolo broke the silence.

"Vegeta, what took you so long?"

x


x

TANJ = There Ain't No Justice, swearword from Larry Niven's Ringworld series

TAFKAP = The Artist Formerly Known As Prince, as Prince was called when he refused to be known as Prince for a while. For artistic and legal reasons, so I heard.