--First of all I'd like to say I'm sorry if there are any inconsistencies in the SL and the dialogues are not verbatim, because I couldn't bring myself to watch those episodes again. It hurts to see all that. So I've tried my best to collect all the facts for the rest of the story since most of it's gonna contain flashbacks, so forgive me if I've messed up anything--

"This is one of the simpler divorces, I've seen actually"

I've been fighting with April for the divorce for so long, it's not something I need anymore, I just want it because I'm obstinate. I don't want to change my mind. But for some reason those words sound wrong, it's not simple at all. My heart is telling me to run away from the room as fast as I can. But I can't seem to I've become stone hearted. I want to make her feel what I've felt since she left me for Jordan.

"You want this? Do you really want this?"

No I don't. I don't want this. I definitely do not want this but I don't see any other option left. My heart aches to see tears in her eyes. Her eyes are red, puffy, shining because of the tears. I never knew we'd hurt each other so much that we'd end up divorcing each other. Please don't sign the papers April. Please be the bigger person you always are and fight for us, babe. I'm begging inside don't do this. I hope you understand what I'm not saying. I've tears in my eyes but I don't wanna cry in front of her. I don't wanna be the person who pushed her for divorce for days, months! and now when the day is finally here, and I'm getting cold feet. It's like I'm hurting her more.

"Okay."

So that's it? Okay? That's the word that will end our marriage? Stop April please, don't do this. Think about it again. Please don't give up now. My hearts in my throat I'm not able to stop her. I've to let go. You said you want to end where we started. In bed, in love. This is not how it should end.

"Is there anything else? Okay then"

I see the hurt. I can feel her pain. The pain which I gave in retort to her mistakes. It's done. I left the love of my life for mistakes which I never bothered to look over. I feel like I've taken revenge for all that she did to me. But I'm not happy. She storms out of the room not making an eye contact with me. Please look at me, turn. Just once babe. Give me a reason to end this. I try to get up, to run after her, but the lawyer stops me. "I need you to sign too"

"I love you, April.

I always have.

I love everything about you.

Even the things I don't like, I love, and I want you with me.

I love you and I think you love me too.

Do you?"

I stood up for her on her wedding, I said I love all her flaws, everything of hers. I'd never change a thing about that. If anything, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. How did I forget what I said? How could I not love her and respect her when she wanted to go to Jordan? Why didn't I make an effort to accompany her to Jordan? We learn from our mistakes, but what if it never was a mistake. What if this is how it was meant to be? What if I didn't try hard enough to reconcile? How did that love turn to hate? Or did it ever really turn to hate? Because I still do love her. I'd carry her in my arms and run so far away from everything that ruined our marriage just to save us the pain.

*~*

I page Maggie to come over to the on call room while I wait inside. I've so many thoughts revolving around my head. How am I gonna say her? I've never been undone by her. She's just like April and I was naturally attracted towards her just for that. It was the idea of April in her that undone me. Whenever I used to see that goofy girl, I didn't see Maggie, I saw April. She enters the room and my heart is pacing a million times faster. How am I gonna say it? She comes over and kisses me, my feelings have never been clearer. I don't feel anything.

"No. Stop! Maggie. I just want to talk" I invite her to sit.

"What's wrong? Is it April? Is she okay?" she asks worried.

"No it's not April. I mean it is, kind of. She is fine. But..." I drift off

"Oh my God, you're gonna break up with me, aren't you?" she tries to look me in the eyes but I can't look into them and she knows the answer.

"I want you to know that it's not you Maggie. You're amazing and anyone would be lucky to have you but I don't want to keep you in the shadows. I was deceiving you and me both. It's April. It always have been. She was in my arms, lifeless, it made me realize that no one can take her place. When I close my eyes I can't see anyone but her and Harriet, our beautiful little family. I've done her wrong. I've done you wrong and I'm sorry." I look at her, she is not crying. She is just standing there stunned.

"I saw it coming Jackson. I knew it way before you did. I knew it when you asked me to be your plus one or that kiss in the elevator or when you never said about us to April. I've known it all along. Whenever you looked me in the eyes, you were always searching for something, but it was a someone. You were searching for April. If anything, I've just lead you on. I really like you. Go! Get her. Don't worry about me. For what it's worth, I had a great time with you." she says with a smile.

"I'm really sorry Maggie. I didn't mean to.."

"Hey! Hey! It's okay. I saw you holding her hand, praying for her to God, to bring her back, I'd be lying to myself if I still wanted to be with you. So you know, we're done for good. You have my blessing."

I never expected it to go that way but it was a lot better. I'm not happy, I'm guilty. But I'm happy that I can be with April.

I drive upto April's place and ring the bell. She opens the door and I fall in love with her all over again. I'm just in awe of her. She is wearing a satin floral high low dress and she is a sight for sore eyes. I can't believe I let my beautiful wife go.

"Hold up! I'll just go through with the babysitter about everything." she says. I chuckle she's the same as she was before. Overthinking, overdoing everything again and again. How did I not see this before? She never changed.

"You look really beautiful in that dress April" I say and she smiles flinching her nose. That little thing she does with her nose could slip the ground off of my feet.

"You clean up good yourself, Dr. Avery" it hurt me that she called me by my last name.

"So how are things with Matthew?" I ask butthurt. I wish she'd say she still loves me.

"Things are going pretty good. I'm not sure where we are at right now but it's going great. What about you and Maggie?" she asks me back.

"Well I called it quits. It was becoming really awkward." I say but she doesn't utter a word and quietly places her hand on my hand which is on the gearshift. It gives me butterflies in my stomach all over again.

We reach the venue. "You've outdone yourself April, this is like coming out of a fairytale wedding. It's perfect." She really did a great job. I see Matthew and there's an awkward exchange of hands. I'm sorry Matthew but I've to steal your girlfriend once again. Everything is quite chaotic when there is an exchange of wedding venues and we all are at the wrong wedding. April must be freaking out so I rush to her aide.

Matthew is already there, on his knees. This shouldn't be happening to him the second time. Come on!!

"April, I love you" he confesses.

I didn't think I'd have to say it so soon but I have to or I'm gonna lose her again.

"April? I'm sorry to interrupt" Matthew gives me a death stare and I don't blame him. My timing couldn't be more worse.

"But you can't be in love with him. You can't marry him. I'm sorry Matthew. I still love you, April."

A sudden blow localizes all the blood rush to my nose. "Jackson!" she exclaims and runs towards me as I'm on the ground thanks to Matthews punch.

"I deserve every bit of it" I chuckle but April is not amused. She grabs some tissues for my bleeding nose. "It was always you April. I should've said something sooner but better late than never. You're the one and I screwed up badly. Please forgive me April."

"Jackson I don't know what to say" she looks at me with tears in her eyes. I know she wants me but her heart won't hurt Matthew again.

"Is it always gonna be like this, April? You have to choose now." Matthew says angrily.

"I can't do this" April sobs.

"Before you decide April I've to say one more thing. You're still my wife. You can't marry him" I say.

"You know what I'm not letting this happen again. It's over April. Let me know when you figure out everything." Matthew says and starts to turn away.

"It doesn't matter if you think I'm your wife Jackson, I'm not your wife anymore. It was you who wanted a divorce and I signed it." she says to me shocked and full of anger, tears flowing from her eyes.

"But I didn't." I say and she just stares.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I never signed them. I never could. We're still very much married April." I say and she smiles but I can't read her thoughts. She must be having a million questions.

"Why are you telling me this now? Of all times you could've said it. Why now?" she waits for an answer but I don't have one. She storms out of there.