Thank you for all your kind reviews on the last chapter, I was honestly blown away by the insane response that I got in less than 24 hours. I hope that you all like this chapter! Happy reading!


Erin POV

No freaking way. The last time I saw his face he was telling me he loved me, planting a kiss on my lips. Little did I know that those words would be the last ones he would speak to me. That would be our last kiss. And then two hours later, I was reading a letter and my heart was breaking, shattered into a million pieces by one Jay Halstead.

He looks so similar to how he did six years ago, same defined jaw line and same piercing blue eyes. But now that jaw is lined with stubble and his skin is much tanner, not the porcelain pale it had been when we were in college. Freckles still dot his face, but they're less pronounced now and the light in his eyes isn't the same as it used to be. It's not gone necessarily, but's different. It's changed.

Another thing that has stayed the same is the pure unadulterated anger that I feel towards him. I thought I'd worked through it, it's behind me. I've dated other guys, hell I almost married one. But in an instant, it all comes flooding back to me.

As he notices me, he opens his mouth to speak to me, but I don't let him. I grab Hank's hand and drag him back to his office, slamming the door behind us as a hot fury burns within me. I yank on the cord to quickly pull the blinds. He doesn't get to see me like this. He doesn't get to see me upset, especially over him. He doesn't have that right anymore.

"What the hell is he doing here Hank?" I demand as I throw my bag down into one to the seats in front of his desk.

"He's my newest detective," He says, the look on his face stoic and at a loss for emotion, "We've been a man down since Antonio took the job with Stone,"

"But why him?" I ask, my hands shaking at my sides. I cannot believe he would do this. He knows what happened, he knows everything. I told him everything. He saw me fall apart.

"Erin he's damn good police, you know that," He says, his voice remaining calm as mine continues to rise.

"You know what he did to me!" I scream.

"And you know that I don't bring personal lives into this bullpen, he was the best man for the job, your history doesn't change that," He explains. He's right. Jay is going to be an incredible asset to this unit, but it doesn't mean that I want him here. He could work anywhere, did he really have to choose Hank's unit?

"Hank!" I protest.

"You need to talk to Halstead, you don't have the full story," He says.

"I know as much as I need to! Why are you defending him?" I say, enraged at this point. Hank was supposed to be on my side, not his.

"Talk to Halstead," He says again, not at all fazed by outburst.

"I don't want to talk to Jay! I'm talking to you," I yell back at him.

"Erin, talk to him," He says in a lame attempt to bring me down.

"You're infuriating," I almost shout at him, grabbing my bag and forcing it over my shoulder. "I'm going home, call me when you're ready to talk,"

"Erin," He protests.

"I am going home," I say putting extra emphasis on each word as I swing the door open, anger propelling every movement.


Jay POV

I knew that if I took this job I would have to see her at some point, but I didn't think it'd be on my very first day. It's not really even my first day, I was only supposed to come into meet the team before my actual first day tomorrow.

I thought I would at least get some time to prepare, maybe talk to Hank about the whole situation, find out where her head is before I face her. But she blindsided me. I'm sure she's feeling the same way right about how.

I can't tell you where my emotions were at as I watched her walk in through those doors. She was pissed, I knew that she would be. But my God she looks beautiful, my gorgeous girl. My train of thought was broken as I hear her slam the door of Voight's office, only this time she's running out.

"Erin," I say in my very bad attempt to get her to listen to me.

"I don't want to talk to you," She says quickly before rushing down the stairs once again and disappearing. I feel my heart drop in my chest as she leaves. I've regretted the choice I made six long years ago every single day. The whole time I was deployed, I just wanted her. After I came back, I made the rushed decision to move to Los Angeles and I worked in Vice over the past few years and I dated, well I tried to date. I had a few relationships, but I never had anyone make me feel the way that Erin did. So I called Voight. I remembered what he told me outside that restaurant after her graduation and I asked for a job, a job he was more than happy to have me fill.

"How the hell do you know the boss's daughter?" My partner Hannah Davis asks. "And what'd you do to get her to hate you so much?"

"That's personal," I snip at her, I will not be discussing Erin with anybody in this room, not yet atleast. Although I'm pretty sure that Olinsky has a pretty good idea of what happened. He's Voight's best friend and he was like a second father to Erin after Hank and Camille took her in. Purely judging by the fact that he hasn't ripped my head off, Voight let him in on what was happening. I want to be pissed at him, but I never told him that he couldn't tell Al.

"Oh okay," She says with a smirk, "so you slept with her? Maybe dated her? Didn't end well?"

"Something like that," I say withholding any further detail.

"And Voight hasn't ripped your head off yet?" She questions.

"Davis, drop it," Al interrupts. "We don't talk about it," Well that confirms it, he definitely knows and he's defending me, so that means that he heard it from Hank and not Erin or Camille.

"Wait he gets to know?" Hannah whines. I've only met Hannah a few moments ago, but so far she isn't making the best impression. I'm sure she's a solid cop, she wouldn't be up here if she wasn't, but I don't know if we'll be the best of friends. I do know that she has absolutely no filter and no fear. The rest of the unit hasn't said anything, just stayed put with their mouths shut as the whole scenario unfolded. But not Hannah.

"Hannah," Al says again, his tone instantly shutting her down.

"Fine, fine," She concedes throwing her hand up in the air in defeat. "I'll drop it,"

"Thanks," I tell him thankfully.

"Don't mention it," He tells me. I don't even have time to say anything else before Hank pokes his head out of his office and barks my name.

"Halstead get in here," I oblige quickly. I really don't want to push his buttons right now.

"What did she say?" I ask as I lock the door behind me.

"She's pissed," He says, keeping his voice on the softer side. Erin didn't care if the whole world heard what she was saying, but I know that Hank is going to want to keep this part more private.

"That's understandable," I respond.

"Hell yeah it is. I'm the closest thing she has to a father and I just hired the guy that she only sees as the cheating scumbag who broke her heart, of course she's pissed," He tells me. Well yeah, it's not like I thought she was going to be happy to see me. I knew she was going to be mad, I would have been shocked at anything else.

"What do you want me to do about it? I knew what I was getting myself into when I did it six years ago. I've regretted it everyday since then, but it's not like I can go back," I argue.

"Then fix it," He tells me.

"What?" I say. How the hell am I supposed to do that? What does he even mean by fixing it?

"Tell her you lied to her, tell her why you did it, fix it," He explains.

"How am I supposed to do that?" I ask. It really is not that simple.

"Just tell her the truth," He offers.

"She won't believe me," I counter.

"Then you figure something out. Listen Halstead I told you that I would give you a job and I want you in my unit, I sense that you want to be here too," I nod. "Okay then, you figure out how to fix it. I want to keep you in my unit, but Erin is my first priority, always. If having you here is going to hurt my relationship with her, I can have you transferred to any department in the city with two clicks and an email. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir." I respond.

"Okay you're dismissed," How hard can this be? All I need to do to keep my job is go to my ex-girlfriend and convince her that I didn't actually cheat on her, I just lied about it to protect her. Oh I am so screwed.


Erin POV

How the hell could Hank do this? He knows how much I loved Jay and he knew how much it hurt me when he cheated on me. He was there, he was the one who pulled me together and sent me back out into the world after he left. He was there for all of it. And now's he's just letting Jay back in. His whole spiel about leaving personal lives out of the bullpen was such a load of bullshit and we both knew it. He broke so many laws, so many regulations with both Justin and Camille's cases. He would never admit that to me, but I've heard things. And knowing Hank, they aren't that far out.

I can't even tell you what I'm feeling right now. I want to scream. Or punch something. Hank has always been someone that I can rely on, no matter what I did he had my back. But obviously I can't talk to Hank. He wants me to talk to Jay but he's damn near psychotic if he thinks that's happening. I want to call Kat, but she's living almost an hour outside the city and I don't want to make her drive all that way just talk. No, I can't call her. Emily would give me some advice that would make things a lot better, but I don't want to pull her away from her kids. She would come, she would drop everything and run, that's just the way she is, but I don't want her to have to. That leaves Celia. The Celia option would involve drinking a little red wine and a lot of laughing as she distracts me. Right now, that sounds like a damn good option.

I pull out my phone at a red light and type out a quick text to Celia.

Change of plans, want to come over? I have wine. -E

She replies within 30 seconds. I'm driving at this point, but I do glance down to see her response, holding all the same enthusiasm that she has in person.

Yes! I'll be there in 30 with Chinese takeout. Shrimp Lo Mein for the birthday girl, see you soon! -C

A very large dose of Celia is exactly what I need right now to take my mind off of everything.


"So what really happened?" She asks as she swirls an especially long noodle around her chopsticks. "You love seeing your dad, what the hell went wrong?" I take a deep breath before giving her an answer. I know that if I don't tell her she won't stop asking and luckily if I do tell her and I ask her to drop it, she actually will.

"Have I ever told you about my college boyfriend Jay?" I ask her, my feet tapping anxiously on the wood floors beneath my feet.

"He's the one who cheated on you and then told you about it in a letter, right?" She asks before taking another bit of her noodles.

"Bingo," I confirms.

"Okay, what about him? It's been six years why are we bringing him up again?" She asks.

"Well he's back," I tell her, the wheels turning once again in my head as my anger resurfaces.

"What do you mean he's back?" She asks, very confused.

"He's back in Chicago and he's working for my dad," I tell her. Her jaw drops.

"Seriously?" She asks. I can tell by the look on her face that she almost doesn't believe it. She doesn't know Hank very well, but from what she does know, it's kind of insane that he would hire an ex-boyfriend of mine. Especially one that cheated on me. I still can't believe it.

"Yeah," I say reluctantly.

"Want me to kick his ass?" She says with a smile.

"No, I think I got this one," I tell her with a bit of a chuckle, "What I need from you is to drink wine with me and talk about literally anything else,"

"Look no further, I'm your girl,"


After a few hours of talking and laughing, I put Celia in a cab and sent her home. She wasn't drunk my any means, we do have work tomorrow morning, but neither of us wanted to take any chances. It was good to have someone with me, for even just a few hours I got to forget about everything. But now I'm alone again. Well not totally alone, I'm curled up on the couch with Winston at my feet as I try to get through a few more of these tests. But I'm not really getting anywhere, I'm way too distracted.

I can get him out of my head. I've come to terms with what he did, I did that years ago. But why did he come back? Does he just live to torture me? And more than that, why now? I can't ask myself these questions. None of this is my fault, this is Jay's problem and he should have to deal with it. I have to go to bed, maybe if I sleep on it I'll feel better in the morning

I get ready for bed quickly, trying desperately to shut my brain off. Nothing works. I toss and turn in my bed for hours, his face and the words of that letter flashing through my head. But eventually, as the clock inches towards 1 AM, my body can't take it anymore and I'm overcome with sleep.


I groan as I hear the alarm on my phone go off, that obnoxiously loud blaring shocking me out of my blissful state of sleepy oblivion. But worse than having to get up, is having to listen to that sound. I'm half asleep, but I still do feel better than I did last night.

It's 6:30 now. I know that in order to get to school at least twenty minutes before the kids do, I have to leave my house by 7:30 at the very latest and I still have to shower, get my hair and makeup done, get dressed, and throw somewhat of a lunch together. So I have to get moving, which is good. That means I won't even have time to worry about Jay and whatever the hell is going on with Hank.

I shower quickly and blow dry my hair, a process made much shorter since I've cut it back to length right below my chin. I had it like this in college and I loved it, but as I got older I grew it out and eventually it was reaching the middle of my back and it was just too much of a hassle, especially in the mornings. So I chopped it all off again and I haven't regretted it. I placed a couple of haphazard curls that I hope look okay and dust on my normal makeup, covering my lashes with a thin coat of mascara and swiping on some lipstick.

I grab a white floral dress from my closet and a deep pink cardigan to throw over it and slip them both on before pulling on a pair of well worn brown boots. I run into the kitchen to quickly pack my lunch. I'm actually running ahead of schedule, but I don't want to get distracted and lose momentum, so I don't slow down, grabbing the half graded pile of tests and tossing them into my bag, careful to make sure I have them all. Now I just need coffee, a lot of coffee. I toss a travel cup underneath in the machine and press the button to brew, maybe I'll get to work a few minutes early and I'll be able to finish up these damn tests.

I hear a knock at my front door. Maybe it's Hank, maybe he's finally come to his senses and he's finally going to talk to me about whatever the hell Jay is doing here.

"Are you finally ready to talk?" I say as I swing open my front door as I don't really know who else would be at my door at 7:20 in the morning. It's not Hank. It's Jay, his hands pressed into his pockets and those blue eyes I fell in love with staring down at the ground, guilt written all over his face. I have to keep myself from slamming the door right then and there.

"I would actually really like that," He says with that boyish grin on his face. God I just want to slap that stupid smile off his face. He really is the last person that I want to see right now. Or ever.

"No," I say as I try to shut my door again, that same anger from yesterday boiling up in my chest once again. I want to slap him or kick him or something. But I'm not going to. I'm going to be civil and I'm going to be a grown up.

"Erin please just hear me out," He pleads with me as he pushes the door back open, his strength outweighing mine.

"Jay I have to go to work," I insist as he stands opposite me in the doorway. That's just an excuse. I really don't want to talk to him. At all. But I know that that won't do anything for him.

"Just let me talk to you, let me explain," He begs.

"Jay I'm going to be late," I insist as I hear my coffee machine finish up. It's a bit of a lie, I'm not going to be late at all.

"Okay than just agree to meet me," He says.

"If I say yes, will you go away?" I ask, turning my back away from him as I grab my bag and the cup of coffee from the kitchen, the rich aroma setting a strange calm over me.

"Yes," He promises.

"Fine," I say, "Meet me tonight at Molly's, get the address from Hank. I will sit through one drink and if you haven't given me a damn good explanation, I'm leaving and you have to leave me alone,"

"One drink, that's all I need," He swears. This boy better have a damn good explanation, for all of this. And if he doesn't, I have no problem kicking him to the curb.


I hope you guys liked this chapter! This next chapter will answer a lot of questions about the six year time gap, so stay tuned! As always, if you have any questions about anything, please do not hesitate to leave it either in a review or shoot me a PM. Thanks for reading!

Please Review,

Addie