Chapter 1 March Sophomore Year
You go through life never being able to be who you really are, if you worry about what people think. In high school most people pick up a mask and try it on for size. They become someone else, in fear of talk and looks. What runs through the minds of the masked? If everyone is not who they really are, why are they still worried about the whispers? One insecurity becomes everything, doesn't it?
The second bell sounded throughout the halls of William McKinley High School, announcing that the students who weren't already in class that they were late. The halls emptied and the classrooms were full with students, talking or doing last minute homework. The choir room buzzed with the noise of gossip and random rumors that had been going on around school at the time. Everyone was on time, well besides Puck, who had made it his trademark to be late to every class as if he were going to win a record for it. When Mr. Shuster walked in two minutes after the bell, the noise didn't stop but somehow managed to get louder. He turned to the whiteboard like he did every week and wrote one word on the board.
"Ballad." Turning around he looked back at the students with a smile plastered on his face, not faltering even when most of the students let out groans at the word. "That's this weeks lesson. You'll be partnered up and you will each have to sing a ballad to your partner. Doesn't that sound great?" Sometimes, well most of the time, Mr. Shue got carried away with his lessons, today was one of those days, He let out a laugh and began to explain what exactly a ballad was. Rachel kept interjecting and adding to whatever he said, making most of the class turn away from the subject and go on to texting or doodling in their notebooks.
Rachel Berry, no one hated her more than Quinn Fabray herself. For no reason whatsoever, the blonde hated that girl, just because she was, Rachel. Honestly there was no other way to put it. Quinn allowed her mind to wander away from the sounds of the tiny brunettes voice. She was annoyed by everything that girl did and really she didn't have much of a reason for any of it. Quinn was awoken from her thoughts by the sound of someone calling her name and just like that reality was back.
"I want Quinn." It was none other than Finn Hudson. They weren't an item or anything but it was slightly obvious that he used to have a thing fro Quinn and was slowly moving on to his new crush on 'Man Hands.' She only knew this because she paid way too much attention to what others thought about her. Man Hands, just happened to be the name of the day for Rachel, tomorrow it would probably be troll or treasure trail, whichever Quinn felt was best really.
"That's not how this is going to work, Finn. If I allowed you to choose that would be too easy." As Finn groaned, Mr. Shue took out a hat and called up someone's name so that they could pick out their partner. As Quinn tried to focus so that if she were called she'd know who picked her she soon realized that there were only four names left. It was Rachel's turn to pick, and Quinn began to pray. The only other names left where Artie and Mercedes, she honestly wouldn't have minded being paired up with either of them, but being paired with Rachel, would be a disaster.
"Quinn!" Of all people, Rachel Berry had chosen Quinn.
The bell rang again, to notify the end of the school day the corridors filled up with students rushing out and heading to their lockers. Quinn escaped the choir room in record time she wanted to not be followed out by Rachel and yet here she was not even a foot away, following Quinn to her locker. Quinn rolled her eyes at the sound of her voice hoping if she ignored it, she would just go away.
"So as soon as we can, we should get together and pick out some songs. I already have a few in mind. Maybe we could meet at my place tomorrow and if you want you could try and maybe—"
"Rachel!" The blonde cut off the smaller girl's rambling and tried to form a smile that just wasn't going to happen. "If it will make you shut up, you can come over my house tonight. My parents won't be around much, at least not until supper." She slammed her locker closed and began to walk towards the locker room.
Rachel was once again trailing behind her like a puppy that didn't have a home. At that thought, it made Quinn feel a little bad about what she had just said, but when she heard her speak again she removed the guilt from her head. "So, do you—"
"I have practice but you can watch from the bleachers or whatever. When it ends I'll get you." She rolled her eyes as she turned away into the locker room and she was out of sight.
Rachel found herself felling alone, once Quinn disappeared, even though she was in a hall with too many students. People like Quinn, just left that kind of effect on her. Every time the blonde called her a name or acted vile towards her, she was left empty. She was supposed to be confident, she was Rachel Barbra Berry after all. Where did that confidence go? The second she pulled that name out of the hat, she thought it wouldn't be that bad; they'd meet up, practice, and later sing in front of the glee club. It sounded all very simple to her. Within the past few minutes her opinion had flipped and she was seriously worried about how she'd hold up.
The brunette pivoted on her heels and began the short walk to her locker. On a normal basis Rachel would usually head over to the auditorium after school and practice, or she'd go home and start up on homework. Today she had something to do, she smiled a little, she could do this. She would be able to endure the razor sharp words that left Quinn's mouth and they'd sing their ballad and everyone would be amazed.
Cold air crawled up Rachel's skirt as she opened the double doors that led to the football field. She held a book close to her chest and climbed the bleachers to sit down. In the past she'd sat here amongst the crowd of students, teachers and family members, as they all watched another horrible football game. Rachel had never actually realized that cheerleaders where on the field during the games, although she was sure they were probably more entertaining than the game itself. She now looked down at the field, where all of the cheerios were practicing and searched for Quinn.
The blonde was standing beside one of her best friends, Santana, as they both gave orders to the other cheerleaders and watched them perform. Rachel noticed that Quinn was different when she was on that field, she was smiling, and from where Rachel was seated the smile looked actually genuine. The brunette watched with curiosity, as Quinn spoke to all of the cheerios by calling them over, she seemed so involved, so… happy.
Moments later she watched as Quinn called the practice and the girls walked out through the opened gate. Rachel made her way over to the gate just in time to meet up with the blonde.
"Q, looks like you've got a lost mutt trying to follow you home."
Quinn rolled her eyes, Santana was one of her best friends, they spent summers together at Quinn's lake house, they told each other their secrets and they knew nearly everything about the other. It was just hard to deal with her being such a bitch all the time, but that was her personality. "Santana just shut up, she's just my partner for glee." She said this in a slight laugh, normally she would have engaged in some form of taunting along with her friend, but today she didn't feel like it. It was different.
Soon enough, Rachel was seated in the back of Judy Fabray's car, humming along to an Adele song that was playing over the radio. She looked out the window as she did so and listened to the questions that came out of Judy's mouth every so often. She had never met Quinn's mom before today, but something about the woman made her likeable after only the first hello. Besides the questions that were mostly aimed at Quinn, and seldom meant for Rachel herself. The seven minute ride seemed more like twenty minutes to the blonde, her mother finally pulled up in front of their house to let the girls out and then she drove away without a thought.
The house was big, larger that Rachel's was, the blonde opened the door allowing the tiny brunette to step in before she did so herself. She looked the girl over for a minute, this was Rachel Berry, what was she even doing here? She felt like having Rachel over was a bad idea, like letting the girl into her house was like letting her into her life, like letting her dig into a layer that was just beneath her skin. Suddenly she felt threatened by the girl who was nothing but a mere annoyance. She hated that the girl who had just entered her house was more confident in herself than she was. Rachel was picked on and tortured for who she was, but this girl was still who she was. That angered Quinn more than anything, the fact that Rachel was who she wanted to be. Somehow Quinn wished she could have that kind of courage, she'd never admit this to anyone, but it was something her mind couldn't shake.
"My mom will be gone for about an hour, if not more and my dad's at work late today." She watched the smaller girl as she took in her surroundings. "So you can sing all you want."
Quinn made way for the stairs, having Rachel follow. She felt like the second she opened that door, a layer of skin was going to peel back. She didn't want people to know that she wasn't who she pretended to be, she wasn't a coldhearted bitch, it was her cover and she didn't want anyone to know. The only one who really knew her for who she was, happened to be Santana and probably Brittany, if they remembered. She pushed open the door letting Rachel in behind her.
The silence that usually played throughout the Fabray house, didn't last long. Rachel sat at Quinn's desk and looked over to the blonde who sat on her bed. Rachel's mind and mouth moving a mile a minute.
"So Quinn," Her voice slowed down at the start of the question. "Have you given any thought to what ballad you want to perform?"
"I haven't thought about it yet." She answered dully.
"Quinn?" Rachel's voice was a notch lower and there was a pause.
"Yes Rachel."
"What is it that makes you love being on the Cheerios?" Rachel was looking down at her hands, nearly wishing that she hadn't asked. "I mean… I saw you out on the field today and you were… so happy. I—"
Quinn raised her eyebrows, what kind of question was this? Of course she was happy, she loved being on the Cheerios, why? She wasn't sure, this wasn't a question she'd ever been asked before. "I just like being there." She paused and the room fell silent again, this time it was an uncomfortable silence. "I um," She began and Rachel nodded for her to continue. "Do you ever feel.. like you just belong somewhere, or doing something?" She wished those words ever escaped her mind because just like that a layer of Quinn Fabray had slipped off and fallen onto the floor.
Quinn watched as Rachel nodded again, she knew exactly how she felt. Maybe they were a whole lot more alike than either of them had thought.
"Well for just a short amount of time each day, I feel like there's a place for me."
Rachel understood that feeling; she felt that every single day, glee was that place where she felt right. What the girl didn't understand was why Quinn felt that way. This was Quinn Fabray, the most popular girl in school, how could she ever feel like she didn't belong? Rachel had asked the question, but she hadn't been expecting such a heavy answer.
"Just forget it, it's stupid."
"No, I get it, I—"
"Rachel, I don't want this to be some kind of moment, where we share our secrets, or where you compare us. We are nothing alike."
"I—I'm sorry."
"Rachel just sing." She would nearly beg Rachel to do anything but talk about what was just said.
The brunette smiled, trying to forget what had just happened between the both of them. She stood up and walked around the room, finally finding a place to begin. Quinn was watching her, she was slowly realizing just how particular Rachel could be. Just where she stood became a question, she really was somewhat of a perfectionist.
Rachel closed her eyes for a moment, remembering what Mr. Shue had said, "Look your partner right in the eye, find that emotion and make them feel it." That couldn't be too hard; she would definitely get Quinn to feel something. She racked her brain, pulling out a list of ballads that she knew she could sing well. When one jumped out at her that was the one she chose.
Rachel began singing after a couple of minutes. Quinn realized the song right away, it happened to be one of her favorites, among a list of many. "Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry…" Rachel was looking at Quinn and somehow the blonde was getting lost in the words, the sound, those eyes. This was different, listening to Rachel Berry, because Rachel wasn't just singing, she was singing to her. This feeling was something different all together. Three minutes later, the song ended, this was something entirely different, Rachel Berry was either an amazing performer or Quinn Fabray was incredibly gullible.
