Under Review

A fanfiction of Suzumiya Haruhi

The characters depicted herein are solely the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa; I'm just borrowing the keys to the car for a while.


Classes are a drag today; just after I got to school, I decided that I was going to give surveys to the rest of the brigade about each other for the reviews, since I'm not going to be able to put much down on my own review without some extra input. I might come across some stuff when I'm going over our activities, but I need to know what the others think of my strong and weak points, since they've got a different perspective from me - after all, it's my responsibility to be the best brigade chief I can be!

I've got enough time at lunch to get over to the clubroom and type up the questions while I eat, then it's just a matter of printing off four copies. The rest of the day feels like it crawls by; I really want to get started on the next part of the reviews, although I do manage to focus long enough to write down the day's homework. At least all this stuff is easy, so it shouldn't take more than an hour once I get home tonight. Kyon's spacing out too, as usual, but once the chime for the end of classes sounds I'm off like a shot to the clubroom.

I'm the first one in today; it's usually a toss-up whether Yuki or I will be the first one in, but I beat her here today, at least. I wonder if she has cleaning duty today - I can't think of any other reason why she'd be late.

The first order of business is the survey forms. I get them printed off - our printer is really slow; I should probably get the computer society to replace it one of these days, but it'll do for now. It's not like we print out much from here. While I'm waiting for the forms to finish printing, Mikuru makes it into the clubroom.

"Ah, Mikuru-chan - don't worry about changing or making tea today, I'm going to be sending everyone home early again today," I inform her - she was already getting the maid uniform off the rack to get changed.

"O-oh, really?" she replies, hanging the costume back on the rack. "I... guess I'll just head home then?"

"That's fine, just take one of these with you and complete it." I hand her the first of the forms. "I want your impressions of your fellow brigade members! Be sure to fill it out for everyone; your name is on there too, but you don't have to put anything down for yourself at least. Still, if you want to write about your strengths and weaknesses, or goals for this year in the Brigade, put them down for yourself!"

"I... alright," Mikuru says, looking a little uncertain. "Are these due at some particular time?"

"No, just as soon as you can. I'd like to get them back tomorrow if possible; it shouldn't be hard. You've known your fellow Brigade members for almost a year now, after all." I look at the nervous upperclassman and sigh a bit. "And be honest! I want to get your real impressions of everyone else, including me; as the brigade chief, I have a duty to you and the rest of the Brigade to be fair and impartial in receiving feedback!"

Just as I'm finishing up this speech, Kyon and Koizumi come into the room.

"What's this about?" Koizumi asks, Kyon just setting his bag down next to his chair.

"The brigade meeting is being dismissed early today," I answer. "I'm still working on the reviews, so I'll need to use the room to go over our activities from the past year. Everyone needs to take a form, though - I want to get everyone's impressions of their fellow members! There's no specific due date, but the sooner the better - I'd like to get these finished up by this weekend if I can."

Kyon grabs one of the forms from the table and looks it over. "We need to submit feedback for you...?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Absolutely!" I put my hands on my hips. "I was just telling Mikuru that it's important to be honest, too - I'll definitely be fair about receiving criticism."

Koizumi's looking over one of the forms now as well. "Are we expected to fill out our impressions of ourselves, as well?"

Urgh... I should have just waited until everyone was here! "You can if you want to; you can put down what you think are your strengths and weaknesses, as well as any goals for the upcoming year.

"Anyway, since you've got the forms now, you can go home; I'll be using the clubroom today to work on my reviews for all of you more." I give them all a sharp nod to dismiss them, then sit down at the computer and start opening up the folders that have all of our pictures in them.

The others murmur their goodbyes and head out, Kyon bringing up the rear. As he reaches for the doorknob, I call out to him. "And Kyon, I really mean it! Be honest about everyone... especially me." It's a good thing I'm behind the monitor; I can feel a bit of a blush forming. "I want to know what you honestly think of me, both good and bad."

Oky, yes, I'll admit it - I really do want to get Kyon's opinion more than the other three. It... for some reason, it just means a lot more to me than the others' does. Maybe it's because I really get the feeling that he will be more honest with me about both my strengths and weaknesses.

I kind of just spaced out, but when I look up he's still standing in the doorway. I put my hands on the desk to stand up and ask what else he wants, but he just gives a wave. "All right, I will," he says. "I'll see you later, Brigade Chief."


I don't really want to have two computers going for this, but I've already got the reviews started on the laptop; after a moment's thought, I just print off another one of the survey forms for notes - it's got spaces for everyone in the Brigade anyway, and I can just consolidate stuff onto the laptop later. Just as I'm about to get started, I remember to put Kyon's joke descriptions next to everyone's name; it'll make things a little more interesting than just going through and putting down what everyone did this year.

What's the unusual stuff that's happened this year... well, the first thing I can think of was the mysterious disappearance of our class representative, Asakura Ryouko. No pictures of that, though; Kyon was the only one that came along for that, and as I recall I practically had to drag him along to her apartment building. Not that we found anything there anyway. I mark it down on his sheet for participation, since it's something he did at least help me with that none of the others did.

After that... hmm. Nothing too unusual, really; there are a few pictures in here from that baseball tournament, then our Tanabata celebration; I even took a few pictures in here of everyone writing out their wishes. It's not really unusual, I guess, but I'll put it down for everyone since everyone did at least make wishes, and we're still going to have to wait to see whose wishes get answered first. The baseball tournament... eh. It was pretty much a wash anyway, so I won't bother with it.

After that was summer vacation; there's a whole folder here full of nothing but pictures from our trip to that isolated island. I pull out Koizumi's sheet and write down the isolated island mystery.

As I do, I notice the 'esper' description next to Koizumi's name and frown, tapping my pencil on the paper. While I have to admit the whole mystery setup was awesome and I'd do it again in a heartbeat, this is one of those kind of weird things about Koizumi every so often. I'd been reading a lot of mystery novels with closed circle setups right at the beginning of summer vacation, then out of nowhere Koizumi comes up with this trip out to an isolated island - a perfect location for a closed circle mystery - and uses it to set up a totally convincing murder mystery! For a while, I was actually worried that Kyon and Koizumi might have accidentally killed Keiichi-san!

Really, though, after the fact that whole setup kind of bugged me. It's possible that Koizumi spotted that I was reading a lot of mystery novels around that time, but it's not like I had them out in the middle of brigade meetings or anything. The other alternatives are that he was stalking me - let's not go there, thanks - or that he just got incredibly lucky. Coincidence is probably the most reasonable option there, but it's still kind of spooky, given how much trouble he must have gone through to get that whole thing set up.

I give Kyon points for this as well, though; Koizumi told me he managed to work the whole thing out on his own, and that's why he spilled the whole setup to me. It's just more proof that Kyon needs to apply himself more; he's actually pretty clever underneath that apathetic exterior.

If Koizumi was really an esper, though... that kind of setup actually would kind of make sense if he was able to read my mind and see what I'd been interested in - I was definitely looking into mysteries a lot right around then. I was so thrilled by the end result that at the time that I didn't really stop to think about the whole situation, but once I did later it kind of seemed off.

Anyway... the rest of summer vacation was pretty quiet; I remember Kyon getting worked up about finishing his homework right at the end, and Yuki actually seeming a bit tense, but other than that it was just hanging out with the Brigade and enjoying the end of summer.

Not much after we got back to school either, until the cultural festival and the movie. The cultural festival... well, for the festival itself, Yuki was the most amazing help - I had no idea she could play a guitar like that! With all the time she spends reading... well, it's definitely something she deserves major credit for, the concert would never have been a success without her.

"Aliens with guitar-playing abilities beyond the understanding of normal humans," I say, unable to keep a grin off my face as I look at the form. Yeah, right! And then the rest of the time they just sit in a chair in the Brigade clubroom, looking back... at... me...

I leap out of my chair from the shock. "Gah, Yuki-chan!" I gasp out. "When did you get here?"

She just looks back at me completely unperturbed, even though I must have sounded like a total idiot. "Less than five minutes ago," she replies. "Cleaning duty."

Well, that's what I'd figured, anyway, but still. "I didn't hear you come in at all! Why didn't you say anything when you saw that no one was here?"

"You are here," she replies. "What should have been said?"

"Well... that's... you should have at least told me you were here so I wouldn't be so surprised!" I sputter.

"My apologies. I had assumed you were occupied and did not want to be disturbed."

"I... well..." I shake my head a bit, trying to regain my composure. "Never mind that, I sent everyone home early today to work on reviews!" I fumble a bit, finally pulling out the last blank form. "Here, this is for you to fill out - give your impressions of everyone in the Brigade, including me."

Yuki takes the form, glancing down at the one I'm keeping notes on as she does... well, other than Kyon's stupid joke, there's nothing really worth hiding there - all I'm doing is keeping track of what events everyone participated in.

Oh, yeah... "Oh, and you don't have to fill out the section for yourself, but if you want to put down any strengths or weaknesses you feel you have, I'll include them with your review," I add.

Yuki nods once, taking the form back to the table and pulling out a pen - wait, is she going to fill it out here?

"H-hey, you don't have to stay here to do it! Everyone else has already gone home, so you can too if you want."

She just looks up at me with that same expressionless stare. "Is it a problem if I complete it here?"

"W-well, no, I guess, but it's not like you have to turn it in right away," I answer. "You know, if you need time to think about what you want to put down."

"That will not be necessary," the purple-haired bookworm replies, turning back to the paper.

Well, I guess it isn't really a big deal; it's not like I'm putting down my deepest, most objective opinions of everyone right now - this is just listing out activities for everyone.

I shake my head and get back to work - Yuki's certainly not going to be making a lot of noise or doing anything distracting, that's for sure. Even once she finishes she'll probably just go back to reading a book or something.

Anyway, back to the pictures. For the cultural festival itself, that's... pretty much it; the other major event there was the movie, but since that's by far the biggest thing we did all year I should probably take the time to rewatch it before I give people credit for what they did in it.

Even with that in mind, though, I sigh. One event from the making of the movie stands out to me more than any other, and for good reason. I tap my pen under Kyon's section a few times, then shake my head. Really, Kyon was right there - much as I hate to admit I'm wrong, I have to be honest and face up to what I did.

The pen moves down to my own name and scratches out underneath it.

- Failure to respect other Brigade members

- Endangering the safety of other Brigade members

It's true that I wasn't the the only one responsible for that; Tsuruya had just as much to do with it as I did. But... in the end, she's an honorary Brigade member and I'm the Brigade's chief - if these things happened and I had any part of it, it's my responsibility.

Wow, this just got kind of heavy. I shake my head a bit; it's done and over with, and at least I got the message - even if I never told him so directly.

After the movie... let's see. As far as weird things goes... hmm. Not so much weird, per se, but we did have the battle with the computer society after that; everyone did a good job helping out with that, but I did notice that Yuki seemed to be working especially hard on that fight, so I'll give her double points for that.

I glance up to see if she's still in the room, just in time to see her standing in front of my desk with her review form in hand. "What, you're done already?"

She nods wordlessly in response, and I take the sheet from her to look it over.

...yeah, this is exactly what I should have expected from Yuki.

For Mikuru? "A mascot. Uncertain, but faithful."

Koizumi's is: "An associate. Well-connected."

I get: "The commander. Forceful and unique."

Kyon is: "A friend. Very reliable." Interesting, fits with what I had down for him too.

For herself, she's got: "Fast learner. Difficulty with self-expression." I can't really say I'm surprised by either, but...

"This is awfully short, Yuki-chan! Really, just a word or two for everyone?" I tap the sheet of paper in my hand. "You could be more descriptive!"

"I am sorry," Yuki replies from the other side of my desk. "Is clarification needed?"

I frown a bit, looking over the form. "Well... maybe on some of these. Why is Mikuru 'uncertain but faithful'? I can see the uncertain part, but where does the other come from?"

"Asahina Mikuru frequently receives instructions that she does not fully understand or agree with," Nagato says in that same level tone. "However, despite her own uncertainty, she appears to do her best to carry out those instructions regardless."

Huh, that... actually kind of fits pretty well for Mikuru. I guess I never really thought about it that way.

"What about Koizumi? Mikuru's makes a little more sense now, but that's... really not saying much about him - just 'well-connected'?"

"I am... uncertain what else to say," Yuki says after a moment's pause. "Koizumi Itsuki is a very... private person. I cannot claim to know him with any degree of accuracy."

I open my mouth, ready to press her further, when I realize how hesitant she was there. Now that I think about it, Yuki... well, she's usually quiet, no doubt about that, but lost for words isn't really something I'd apply to her. If she's hesitant about saying something, she must really be thinking hard about what to say... maybe she's not all that fond of Koizumi and doesn't want to badmouth him in front of me?

I decide not to follow it up; if Yuki doesn't really want to talk about Koizumi, I shouldn't make her. Besides, there is someone here that I do honestly want to know more about.

"Kyon's the only one you call a friend; is he really the only person in the Brigade you think of that way?"

I'll admit, I'd like to think Yuki sees me as a friend, too, but honestly I really do want to know more about why she thinks of Kyon that way.

She blinks once, then speaks after a couple of seconds. "He has told you that I have had problems with my family.

"My... guardian had threatened to transfer me away, as my behavior here was not considered acceptable. He spoke to my guardian on my behalf to prevent this from happening."

My mouth drops open. "I... I had no idea it was that serious! I guess... he was able to convince your guardian to let you stay, then? I mean, you're still here, after all."

The bookworm gives a single nod in reply. "His arguments were sufficient to change my guardian's mind for the time being. It was his decision that if the situation were to change in the future, you would be informed and your help requested in dealing with the situation.

"Due to his concern and the support he has provided, I consider him to be my friend."

I sit back in my chair; I have to admit, I'm seriously impressed with Kyon right now. That he'd go that far to help another Brigade member - a friend -

Well, I won't say that I don't believe he could do it - I can definitely see that from him. I guess I'm more surprised that he did it without any kind of prodding or other motivation. Maybe I misjudged him on that more than I thought.

I shake my head a bit to clear it before continuing on - there's still one thing that bugs me a bit about that. "If it was that much trouble for you, though, why didn't you or Kyon come talk to me about it before now? If one of my Brigade members is being troubled like that, you'd better believe I'll be there to back them up!"

"It was his thought that you did not need to be burdened with helping unless his arguments were not accepted by my guardian," Yuki replies. "Since his own actions were ultimately sufficient, neither he nor I thought it necessary to trouble you with what had happened."

"Mmmm," I mutter doubtfully. "I'm not sure I believe that - sounds like he was just trying to hide it from me."

"He provided his word that he would seek your aid," is Yuki's answer to that. "Given that the burden placed on yourself and others would be significant for this request, I believe his choice was the optimal solution."

Come to think of it, I think Kyon did mention something like this back in December, but with everything else that was going on around then... well, I probably shouldn't have forgotten about that anyway.

I sigh a bit at that. "I guess I'll have to take your word for it."

Yuki hesitates for a moment, then nods. "I can confirm that his attempts to conceal things from your awareness have been minimal."

"Mmm." I shake my head a bit. "Anyway, thanks for getting that survey done, and for telling me about what happened with Kyon, Yuki-chan." I give her a smile. "You've given me a lot of good stuff to think about for these reviews! But yeah, since you're done, you can head home if you want to - I already sent everyone else home, and I'm just going to be going through the rest of our pictures for today."

With Yuki dismissed, I try to clear my head; given how quiet she is, I probably won't even hear her leave, and I should probably hurry up and get through the rest of these pictures. Let's see, now... I was just looking at the victory picture from the computer society duel, what's next...

A soft scrape from one of the folding chairs in the clubroom gets my attention with a jerk - Yuki's still here, and she's pulled her chair up next to mine at the computer?

"Yuki-chan? What are you doing?"

"I will help," she says softly.

I'm about to protest when I stop to think for a minute. Yuki did just tell me about some pretty troubling stuff... maybe she wants some company? And in the end, it's not like I'm doing anything super confidential here; all my personal notes and impressions are on the laptop, and all I'm really doing is looking through old pictures and making some quick notes.

I scoot my chair over a little. "Well... sure, if you want to, I guess I don't really mind," I reply.

The quiet girl just nods, picking up the paper and pen from where I'd left them on the table. Well, I guess she can take down the notes while I go through the pictures...


Thanks to Yuki, getting through all of the pictures on the computer went a lot faster than I expected; I'd forgotten just how many pictures I'd taken of all the things we did. If I'd been doing it alone I'd probably still be working on it tomorrow! She actually helped out with more than just that, too. Her memory of everything we did and what each of the members did for it is almost uncanny. Maybe she's one of those people with an eidetic memory?

Getting home after school was less fun today; Mom was already home and in the kitchen when I got there, so dinner wasn't particularly inspiring. It feels a little bad to say it, even if it is true; how exactly do you tell your mom 'sorry, but your cooking sucks, let me do it'?

Bah, best not to dwell on it too much. I pull the sheet and the laptop out of my bag and set them down on my desk. I can go ahead and get all of Yuki's notes transferred over to everyone's files pretty quickly, I think.

As I'm working on it, I have to suppress the urge to groan. I should have realized that Yuki would see the 'esper' and 'time traveler' notes next to everyone's names; I'm surprised she didn't ask me about those. The only thing she seems to have done is write down 'normal human' next to Kyon's name, though; that girl has a strange sense of humor sometimes.

Once I've finished all of the transcribing, though, I lean back in my desk chair. I know there were some other strange things that happened that we didn't have a camera around for; that whole 'snowblind shared hallucination' thing up in the mountains at New Year's is the biggest one I can think of.

Come to think of it, that's possibly the lamest story I've ever heard. I didn't really pay too much attention to it at the time, I'll admit, but in thinking about it more it's a massive stretch. Collective hypnosis? Okay, I can sort of buy that with us all wandering around in the snow. A hallucination where time seems to move faster? Sure, I can see that too. But a shared hallucination where all of us experienced time moving faster -but still at the same rate-? Among five different people? I'm not sure I can buy all of that at once.

I frown a bit at Koizumi's file and add it in; 'half-assed explanation for the mansion over winter break'. I remember Kyon looking pretty baffled by the whole spiel too; I don't think he bought it either. Maybe I should ask him about it later; I put it down in his file just so I don't forget - I've been going through a lot of stuff the past couple of days.

Let's see, what else... Kyon's file is on top right now, what exactly did he do that we don't have pictures of? The biggest thing that sticks out in general is when he was in that coma just before Christmas. I... don't really want to give anyone any kind of credit or penalty for that, though; I know I made Kyon pay penalties for being 'absent', but it was easier to do that than say how worried he made me.

Come to think of it, Yuki actually seemed even quieter than she usually was when we were going through the Christmas party pictures. I guess if Kyon's helped her out that much she must have been pretty worried about him then, too.

Anyway, moving on - no sense in dwelling on it, he's at least fine now. What else did he do... hmmm. Heh, there was that lame prank back in February - pretty minor, but I think I've gotten most of his other stuff down. Claiming that Mikuru had been kidnapped... that's even worse than Koizumi's lame excuse!

I glance at the 'normal human' description - Mikuru was the time traveler, right? Even setting aside the prank, how does a time traveler even get kidnapped? If they're from the future, they should know what's going to happen in the past and be able to avoid it anyway! Or at least go back and keep themselves from getting caught up in it. It'd be funny if the time traveler that went back to give the warning got kidnapped instead, though - the real one would never realize anything had happened! Of course, then you'd end up with the same person in two places at once...

I feel a frown forming. That... actually makes a weird kind of sense. Mikuru as a time traveler seems like a stretch, but if she was... I could actually buy her being clumsy enough to get herself kidnapped while trying to warn herself about being kidnapped. If I was with the original one and Kyon was with the time-duplicate... well, it would explain why he seemed so desperate about a prank.

I pick up a pen and tap it on the tabletop. Koizumi's got some circumstantial evidence towards being an esper too, and now that I think about it... this is giving me a weird sense of deja vu. After a minute, I realize why - Kyon wasn't the first person to tell me that espers, time travelers, and aliens were real.

I haven't actually thought about him in a long time; I came to North High in the first place in the hope of finding him, but really, it was a silly idea - he would have already graduated by the time I enrolled.

John Smith... well, it was obviously a fake name, but still. That strange, snarky North High student that showed up with his 'narcoleptic sister' on his back and helped me make that symbol on the track field at East Middle. I didn't spend all that much time actually with him, though; I actually spent more time around his 'sister' since I was mostly just directing him all over the field with the line marker.

Wow, this really takes me back. 'Look out for the John Smith that will shake the world' indeed - he certainly shook mine! That whole thing was what got me interested in looking for the unusual, after all.

There's still something bugging me about that whole thing, though... what was it? John Smith... well, actually Kyon vaguely reminded me of him back when school started. I remember asking him if we'd met before, but obviously he wouldn't have been at North High yet when John Smith was.

...unless he'd traveled in time, maybe?

I can feel my stomach twist at the thought. Could that really be it? But no, Yuki said that Kyon's just a normal human, so if I'm going with that theory that's not possible. Mikuru's supposed to be the time traveler, after all, so for that to have happened she'd have to have taken... him... back.

The 'narcoleptic sister'.

I do remember she was a pretty shapely girl; I definitely remember thinking she had a really big chest, but with the way she was sitting on the ground slumped over I never really got a good look at her face at all. She... she did have hair a lot like Mikuru's, though.

I slam my hands on the desk and push myself back - I don't even know what I'm trying to do anymore. Am I trying to convince myself that Kyon could be John Smith? That he is? Or that he couldn't be?

If he's not... well, Kyon and John Smith both told me the same thing - the same thing exactly - three years apart. That espers, aliens, and time travelers were real. One of the two I believed, the other one I blew off.

What if they were both right? And if they were... they could actually be the same person.

Trying to control my shaking, I pull myself back up to the desk and the laptop, still showing Kyon's file.

At the top, I typed it in:

KYON - JOHN SMITH