A/N: I didn't expect to have this up just yet, but then again, having no plan can have it's advantages too. Anyway, read, review, and enjoy :)


Five weeks since she got that call. Five weeks since she became Charlotte's temporary guardian. Five weeks since she had last stepped foot into fifteen division.

Three weeks since she became Charlotte's permanent guardian. Three weeks since she had to explain that mommy wasn't coming home, and she was in heaven now. Three weeks since Charlotte cried herself to sleep in 'Auntie Andy's' arms.

(Two and a half years old. She can't even grasp what death is, but she knows that mommy isn't here anymore. Andy can't... At thirteen it was too much to handle, but two and a half...)

Three hours since Jenny's funeral. Three hours since she watched her friends body go into the ground, not too far from Jerry's. Three hours since Traci took Charlotte back to her place.

She's been alone for the first time in five weeks. Until it's time to step out of that cab and back into fifteen.


The first time she didn't show up for shift, no one seemed to think anything of it. Maybe she was sick, took the day to get sleep, watch TV and she'd be back tomorrow. And then the next day she still wasn't in, and Nash had taken the day too.

After that it seemed to be a constant thing, Traci only working four days a week. Callaghan was back at the division and wound up helping Sam instead of Nash, and it wasn't a good pairing.

(They never worked well together before Andy came into the picture, it hardly improved since.)

He called her out on it one day, and was able to attain that an old friend of Andy's was in a car accident, and died two weeks later in hospital. He was pretty sure she'd mentioned Jenny before, but, he was fuzzy on details of what happened between them.

He tried to call, she didn't pick up. He sent flowers. But he knew that was a sore excuse of condolences. He also knew that he should take the hint from Nash's tight lips that she didn't exactly want anyone around. And through Traci's assurance, he trusted that she was just taking time to grieve.

But then those two weeks, turned into five. And she hadn't even showed at the Penny to, at the very least, get wasted.

God knows he did that when... he's done it.


Claire was in and out over those five weeks. She was working Charlotte's case, despite objections from her boss, and was trying to get the legal end of things squared away while Andy focused on adjusting Charlotte.

Tommy had been visiting daily, integrating himself into Charlotte's normal life, so that when he was needed, he'd be confident caring for the girl for a few hours at a time. Charlotte warmed to Tommy right away.

"Who you?" She mumbled sleepily, still tucked into Andy's chest after being woken up from her nap.

"I am Tommy, I'm Andy's daddy." He said sweetly, bending down a little so she could inspect the new person in the apartment. "I brought you something Ms. Charlotte."

She smiles, and lifts her head, squiggling her body just enough that Andy has to reposition the little girl so that she is facing Tommy, back to Andy's chest.

"What?"

He pulled out a stuffed giraffe, and the rest was history.

Both of her parents watched her struggle with the transition. And both made an effort to be there when she needed a shoulder. Not surprisingly, Tommy's shoulder was chosen more often.

"Dad, how did you do this? Alone? I mean, I feel like everything I do is wrong, or I could do it better..."

"Andy, kiddo, I'll let you in on a little secret. That feeling never goes away."

She cried a little harder, and Tommy just chuckled and told her that that was one of those moments.

"Sweetheart, being a parent, is constant worry and fear. But it's also so much more. Right now, it's hard to see the good times that lie ahead, but they're there. And Charlotte will help you. Believe it or not, she wil."

But Claire did come in useful. She was able to provide Andy with scenarios similar to hers. She was able to offer advice on courses of action that didn't come solely from opinion.

"A schedule is important at her age. This is a grey area, but she needs the structure. You do too."

Jenny didn't own her home, she was leasing it, so other than her possession's, which were now in storage, and her assets that were safe in the bank, awaiting Charlotte's eighteenth birthday, there was nothing to take care of after a funeral. Just a little girl.

Andy's apartment was only a one bedroom, and while it would have to make do for now, she had started looking for something bigger.


Noelle is Andy's surprise rock throughout the entire month. Her being on maternity leave as well, they spend a lot of days together, especially when Charlotte's being difficult. Which is basically constantly. To say Andy understands is an understatement, but she's been having tantrums left, right and center.

"No!"

"Charlie Bear, please, sweetie pick up Mr. Raff and put him with your toys."

"No! No! No!"

The first time Noelle sees it, she tells Andy to lay down the law. She may not be Charlotte's mother, but she's the closest thing she'll have.

"You've got to stop acting like a babysitter McNally. She's not going to come back and tell you you're doing it wrong."

Andy took a long look into her wine glass, and looked at the sleeping toddler in her crib just through the bedroom door, and at Olivia, who's sleeping safely in her car seat on the counter next to Noelle.

"I wish she would."

Noelle reached out and squeezed her hand, and Andy couldn't do more than squeeze back.

Between Noelle and Traci's help, and Frank keeping things quiet in the division, Andy feels like maybe the world has forgotten about her. But frequent texts from the three musketeers, Oliver and Gail remind her that she's got to go back eventually.

She was pretty sure that Oliver figured it out early on, but he's keeping it to himself.

She didn't suspect that he knew until he called her up one afternoon during his shift with Dov who was still in the dark as well. And as badly as she wanted to call Chris, who's child was actually Charlottes age, she knew it was pointless, with him so far away. She'd call him when the others knew. She would.

"McNally, if you need anything, Zoe and the girls, we're all here. Any time you need... anything."

She figured he was alluding to babysitting offers, parenting advice, or just someone to call, but Oliver was smart. And Noelle may have confided in him. Either way, she knows he's there.

When Sam calls, not two days after, she can't pick up the call. That has to be the last of her worries. Her romantic life will probably take a backseat for the next sixteen years, and that had to start immediately. And he's just calling because it's what you do. He might think he can impart some pearls of wisdom, but he doesn't know everything. He can't know yet.

She barely told Gail and Nick. If they hadn't shown up to her place with a casserole, they may still be in the dark.

"What the hell is that?" Gail hissed when she spotted Charlotte in her high chair, carefully shoveling a spoonful of macaroni and cheese into her mouth.

Andy opened the door the rest of the way, gesturing for them to enter, and told them the whole story.

After that, Gail offered to do what she could... except change diapers. That was non-negotiable.


But this morning, it was the final nail in the coffin. So to speak. She finally felt like she could do this. Like she could get her footing without the immense support she's had to date. Of course she needs them but this... it was closure, as a funeral should be.

Charlotte was crying loudly less than halfway through the service at the church, and though one of Jenny's other friends offered to take her out into the hall for a moment, Andy needed a little bit of privacy too.

She took the young girls hand, and led her out as quietly as possible, and then just held her, and let her cry until she tired herself out. They missed the eulogy, and the final prayers, but Andy didn't need any of that. Truth was she'd prepared a eulogy of her own, but knew she wouldn't be in any shape to read it in front of the crowd. She knew there'd be time to visit her grave and do it then, but today is too much already.

All she needed to do was come to terms with the rest of it. Tell the people who didn't know, figure out when she should go back to work, when she could go back to work.

Frank had reminded her just a couple of nights ago, at their house, that she had months of leave available to her, that there were lots more things to consider before heading back out onto patrol. Like if she wanted to go back to the beat, or explore other options the department has to offer.


Pushing the building door open and approaching the front desk, it is the third time its felt foreign to her. The third time it didn't feel natural. The first had been after her suspension, the second after the op, and today. The shortest time she's been away, but the most she's changed, her life has changed, in that time.

The officer at the desk is Nick, thank goodness, and he buzzes her through without a word, acknowledging her black attire silently, and going back to the phones.

And pushing the door to the barn open, she feels the chaos around her, smells the fresh coffee just being brewed, and listens carefully to the sound of officers shuffling through their paperwork. She misses this, more than she thought.

She spots a clear path up to Frank's office, and decides she can do her pleasantries and explanations on the way out. She nearly makes it too, before Marlo grabs hold of her wrist on her way by her desk.

"McNally." She says, softly, making Andy turn while exhaling a deep breath. "I'm sorry, to hear about... I'm so sorry."

Andy thinks these are the most genuine words she's ever heard Cruz express, and all she can do is a manage a polite smile, and nod her head in the direction of Frank's office. Marlo lets her go, understanding that she can't really muster the words she's probably been repeating nonstop since her friend died, and watches her finish making her way to Frank's office.


He sees her head bouncing just out of his peripheral vision and for a second he thinks he's just imagining it... again. But then he turns his head a fraction of an inch, and sees her familiar brown locks whip around, and then he sees Marlo holding her wrist.

He doesn't feel himself rising to his feet, or moving to the office door, but he gets there in time to watch her walk away from Marlo, and make her way up the steps to Franks office.

One thing he can't help but love about the barn is that the office walls are windows, and he watches as Frank stands to hug her and offer her a chair. And then he takes in the rest of her appearance, from his distance. Black dress, and shoes. It's her good black dress too, he's never seen her wear it, but he remembered her mentioning something about it being her only dress suitable for church...

The funeral. The funeral was today, Traci took it off especially to be there with Andy. How could he forget? And yet she's here. He wondered how long she'd be able to stay away from the job. They were too alike in that sense. Cabin fever, no doubt she had to have cabin fever, even in a time of grief.

He loses track of time standing in the doorway watching their meeting.

Frank looks like he's trying to reason with her, and at one point, she looks down to wipe some tears away, and he cocks his head to the side, trying to gauge what could be going on.

Andy's got a stubborn look on her face despite the tears, and Frank appears to pleading, or reasoning with her, either way, it's probably about when she can return, and what Frank thinks is the best course of action. Probably wants to bench her, or get a psych eval and she won't hear it. Probably.

It's not until he hears Gail call out to Traci in the pen that he drags his eyes away to see Nash pushing a stroller through the barn.

Peck goes right to the device, and lifts a little blond girl out, and Sam is more puzzled than ever. Nash with someone else's kid, and it isn't baby Ninja... he doesn't know what conclusion to come to, not until he starts listening.

"She was fussing so much, I didn't think I could say no to her, not today. She just wants Andy." Traci says directly to Gail and Nick. Everyone else seems to have let it go for the moment, until Oliver saddles up next to the small group that's gathered.

"Auntie Andy." The little girl sobs into Traci's shoulder, causing Oliver to nod, like he's finally just put something together, and still Sam is in the dark. Or at least, not willing to fully consider what he thinks could be true.

"So. This is the little one that's taken all our McNally's attention." Oliver says, trying to get in the girls line of sight.

And that's when Andy comes bounding down out of Frank's office to the crowd, arms stretched out wide for the little girl that saw her coming, and called out for her again.

"Hey baby. I'm here sweetie." She takes her from Nash's arms, and Sam realizes that this is why. Why she hasn't been around, it wasn't grief, it was to make way for a new life, new world.

His mind is reeling, and a lot of the barn has shifted their focus to the group that gathered, and he watches on while his mind continues to do backflips, grasping the fact that Andy is now a mom. Aunt. Responsible guardian, at least.

"Shhh, Charlie, I'm here, it's okay." Andy soothes, bouncing the little girl around while Traci whisks the rest of the group to the soft interview room, obviously going to take over filling them in on the details of the last few weeks.

That's when he notices his legs carrying him absent mindedly for the second time today. But instead of it being away, back to his desk, he's getting closer to her, as she lowers the girl into her stroller again.


When Andy straightens up after promising Charlotte that they can go home right away, she comes face-to-face with Sam. Because today wasn't hard enough.