Alright, so Bella did find out.
And now I've got a week's worth of detention, which is no problem. Detention is an attempt to punish teenagers with boredom and restrictions, but I have a high tolerance for both of those by now. An hour of boredom is nothing. Though, I'm also going to have to explain myself to Bella when I get home, which could be a bit trickier. Plus, tonight there's going to be a family meeting, which is definitely going to be unpleasant.
I really wish there was someone other than myself that I could blame for all this.
I could try blaming Bella. It would be satisfying if this was all her fault.
Why did she go along with this absurd set up, anyway? I understand that she was interested in trying out teaching. Eternal life is long, we all need to shake things up a bit. She looks too old now to attend school next to me, but, as a teacher, she can fit in and we can still see each other every day. Of course, I know that she's teaching so she can see more of me. Only a fool would say that was blameworthy, obviously it's generous and loving.
And she asked me, more than a few times, if I was sure. She worried about how I would feel, her teaching, me seated in yet another high school class. I told her it was fine. I made a great effort to assure her that I didn't mind. It can hardly be held against her that, after all my efforts at persuading, she let me persuade her.
She didn't have to chose Wuthering Heights as the class novel, after all. She knows my opinion of that wretched book.
Of course, I suppose it could also be said that I know her opinion equally well. She loves the story, she always has done, and she has every right to chose to study it. She even says that it reminds her of us. So, really, in a way, chosing it was a romantic gesture.
She did warn me that she was choosing it. She gave me every chance to choose a different class. I was the one who insisted on signing up to take Bella's English Literature class, even though I knew which book she'd picked.
I signed up to study a book I didn't like. Then I stole and distributed the exam questions so that she'd be forced to change book, even though I knew she was excited about teaching it.
Great, it's not Bella's fault, and I am a heel.
Well, how about my class mates?
I laid the exam sheets out on Bella's desk. I wasn't the one who started passing them round. I wasn't the last one holding them. It wasn't my bag that they fell out of, right in front of Bella. There was no way anyone could have known it was me, if they'd all just kept their mouths shut.
Wasn't the root of the trouble, the way that they all started playing detective, trying to work out who'd done it?
And if one of them, just one, had been a halfway decent liar, then Bella might have suspected them and not me.
Every one of them looked at the papers, then - when Bella asked - every one of them lied about it. And every single one of them lied terribly. It was embarrassing. It was horribly obvious that they were lying.
If anyone of them had done a half decent job of lying about looking at the papers, then Bella might not have believed them when they also denied taking them.
As it was, how could she be in any doubt, with all those fresh-faced innocents and me in the room? Everyone denied stealing the papers, well, of course they did. But, why did they all have to look so obviously innocent?
They are innocent, I suppose. And, they are kids, so I can't really blame them for looking like it. And, realistically, who was going to believe that a human child could get through two locked doors, open a locked filing cabinet, locate the right file, and get out again, in under two minutes. Bella was bound to know it was me, I really should have thought that through more carefully.
No, it wasn't my classmates' fault that I did too good a job of covering my tracks. I've been attending high school for long enough to know how to sneak around like a believable human teenager. I should have done a better job.
No, it must be someone else's fault.
What about Jasper? He was there.
Yes, but he didn't tell on me. He kept his mouth shut and his eyes innocent. Almost as believable as one of those kids.
Even when Bella asked him - a little too pointedly I thought - if he happened to know who had taken the papers, Jasper shook his head and said 'no, ma'am.' He hated lying to her, and I knew he would, but he did it for me. Well, maybe not for me so much as for fear of what he thinks I might - but realistically I never could - do.
Can I blame him for being so easy to manipulate? After all these years, how can he still believe there's any risk at all? Doesn't he understand what family means?
But, then, perhaps the problem is that he does understand our family only too well. He knows - though I don't think anyone else even suspects - that I really do pull rank on him at times. It's rare, of course, but it's not never. I guess he believes that I can give him commands because sometimes I do.
No, I can't really blame Jasper. Which is very annoying, because that means this is all my own fault. And that is not going to be any kind of comfort when I'm getting scolded tonight. And I am definitely going to be in trouble over this.
I behaved like a brat, drew attention to the family and manipulated Jasper. Though, there's still an outside chance that nobody will find out about that last one.
Bella said she'd talk to me right after school, and her tone definitely meant that talking would only be the beginning. I am in big trouble, I am pretty certain of that. Being scolded by my own wife is humiliating. But, it's Bella, so she won't be too hard on me.
On balance, it's definitely better to see Bella before the family meeting. If I turn up there, unpunished, I'll be risking having that remedied in front of the whole family.
As it is, Bella wants me over at her place this afternoon, so she can yell at me in private. It's not exactly going to be dignified, hearing my wife list my faults and trying to apologise in just the right sincerely humble tone. But, it's a darn sight better than getting the full Cullen family scolding at a family meeting, It's a very special kind of humiliation to sit at a table while your whole family takes in in turns to tear a strip off you.
