Okie dokie…here goes. So what do you think so far? First story ever, so ANY thoughts on the subject would be much appreciated (but any crap along the lines of "you suck", "quit writing", etc. will be ignored). Songs in the title are to be kept in mind while reading.

Disclaimer: Don't own it…Stephenie Meyer, you are so lucky…

Chapter 1: Chasing Pavements

Should I give up

Or should I just keep chasing pavements

Even if it leads nowhere

Would it be a waste even if I knew my place

Should I leave it there

Should I give up

Or should I just keep chasing pavements

Even if it leads nowhere

-ADELE, "Chasing Pavements"

"Edward!" sang the bell-like voice of the one and only Alice Brandon, "Are you in here?"

I quickly put the journal I was reading down and stepped out of the office into our store here in Chelsea. Nowhere like Chelsea in New York City I sighed. When I bought the space for my art gallery, I didn't know it would be next to a clothing boutique. I met Alice that first day and she suggested that we merge stores. I didn't plan on having a name for my place and her boutique was called, "New Moon", which I liked. Something about the kind of darkness and starting over stuck with me. So I sold my art along side Alice's fashions and occasionally I designed some pictures & prints for her t-shirts and dresses.

"Hey Alice," I said as she stored her bag behind the register.

"You know Edward, you can run this place without me when I go to lunch. We don't have to close for an hour."

"Well, I'm nowhere near the fashion goddess you are so I doubt it if I could help any woman that came in here looking for skinny or boyfriend cut jeans or whatever and the appropriate style of tops to wear with each."

Alice giggled and pushed my shoulder as she went to greet two women who strolled into the store.

I shook my head and walked back into the office. The thought of women coming in here and wanting to try on clothes and asking for my help intimidated me. I was always uncomfortable with women, and even more so now because I could see the advances they were trying to make on me. Bella had always told me I was good looking and that girls were constantly checking me out. But I knew that they would treat me differently if they knew I was blind. That's one of the many reasons why I love Bella. She never treated me any different from the first day that she met me way back in 5th grade.

Flashback

"Don't worry Esme! Edward will be fine!" my father Carlisle said as my mother tried in vain to tame my hair.

"I can't help it Carlisle! It's Edward's first day here in Forks. They won't have the accommodations for him like his school in Chicago!"

"Mom, please don't worry," I mumbled.

"He will be fine Esme. Edward knows how to handle himself."

"Mr. & Mrs. Cullen, ah, and this must be Edward," I heard a new female voice say, "I'm Mrs. Smith, the principle here."

I faintly heard my parents talking with Mrs. Smith as I kicked my foot against the floor. We were standing in what I knew to be the office of my new school here in Forks. My father and mother wanted a smaller and quieter life instead of Chicago. My mother wasn't a fan of the big city and my father was offered the chief of staff position here at Forks General. I understood. It wasn't like I was leaving behind any friends anyway. No one seemed to understand what it was like for me and treated me like I wasn't a normal human being. Well, I wasn't normal, but being blind didn't stop me from my daily life. No kid ever seemed to understand. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"Well, Mr. & Mrs. Cullen, I think Edward will be fine here. Let's walk him to his classroom and we'll get him situated with his teacher Mrs. Meyer."

I stood and followed with my cane, my left hand held on to my father's shoulder as we exited the office and turned right. He was walking at a measured pace with me so I could count the steps from the office to my new classroom. I had already counted from the curb of the parking lot to the office. 38 Steps.

"Here we are Edward," said Mrs. Smith. Okay, 27 steps until here. I heard a knock and the chatter of students dying down.

"Alright Edward," my father said, "Have a good day son."

My mother hugged me tightly and kissed me on the cheek. I fought the urge to be embarrassed but felt my cheeks heat up a little. "Good luck today son."

"Thank you," I whispered in response, adjusting the sunglasses that covered my eyes. I heard the fading footsteps of my parents leaving down the hallway and pulled the strap of my bag over my right shoulder some more.

"Edward," said Mrs. Smith, placing a hand on my shoulder and guiding me into the classroom.

I heard whispering and snickering but it was quickly silenced by a loud and firm "Quiet!"

"Edward, this is Mrs. Meyer, your 5th grade teacher."

I held out my hand for a handshake and felt it embraced by a smooth soft hand.

"It's nice to meet you Edward," said Mrs. Meyer. I turned my head in the direction of her voice and smiled. I heard the door close and I assumed Mrs. Smith left.

"Class, this is our new student Edward Cullen. Please say hello."

I heard the monotone drone of a united, "Hello Edward." I snorted at the enthusiasm in my head.

"So Edward," Mrs. Meyer continued, "tell us a little more about yourself."

I shuffled my weight from foot to foot as I spoke, "Well, my name is Edward Cullen. I'm 11 years old. I just moved here from Chicago with my mom and dad. I have no brothers or sisters. My father is a doctor and my mother is an interior designer. I like to read and I play the piano."

I could hear whispering and heard Mrs. Meyer address someone. I assumed someone had a question.

"Mrs. Meyer," I heard a male voice, "Why is he wearing his sunglasses indoors?"

"Well Connor," Mrs. Meyer replied, "Why don't you ask Edward?"

I sighed, "I'm blind."

I heard the collective gasps and the whispers start. "If you're blind, how can you read and play the piano?" I heard a cocky sounding male voice say.

"Mike Newton! Just because he's blind does not make him any different. One more outburst and its detention for you mister."

I heard more whispering and giggling as Mrs. Meyer led me to a chair on the far side of the classroom, 18 steps from the door. I felt my chair and placed my bag and cane down before taking a seat. I adjusted my sunglasses and sighed.

"Ewww…Edward has to sit with Belly Bella!" I heard the now distinctly and more vile sounding by the second voice of Mike Newton say. The class erupted in laughter and I heard a soft sniffle beside me. I was instantly hit with a sweet smelling strawberry scent as she moved in her seat.

I tilted my head towards the sound of the sniffle. "Hello."

I heard a sniffle and a soft, "Hi" in return. The girl next to me, who I assumed was named Bella, didn't speak again. I wouldn't blame her for being embarrassed. Now she had to sit next to the freaky new kid and apparently had an unwanted nickname from our classmates.

The bell for lunch rang and I heard Bella slide out from her chair and scurry away before I had any time to say anything. I stood and grabbed my cane, making my way to the front door. The classroom was silent so I assumed everyone rushed out.

"Edward," I heard the timid voice of a girl, "Would you like me to show you where the cafeteria is?"

"That would be nice. Thank you…?"

"My name is Angela Webber."

"Nice to meet you Angela," I replied, though I had to wonder why this girl was being so nice to me.

"We're going to the left," she said, "Do you…um…do you need to hold on to my shoulder?"

I was a little surprised. Someone was actually being nice to me. "Oh…um…won't that be…awkward for you?"

"No," she said barely above a whisper, "one of my little brothers is blind. I take care of him a lot. My dad is a minister and my mom is a nurse and are both pretty busy so I watch him a lot on my own."

"Oh…I…um…"

She chuckled, "Come on Edward. They always serve pizza on the first day of school."

I felt Angela take my hand and place it on her shoulder and we proceeded down the hall. She remained silent as I counted my steps to the cafeteria. She stopped so I followed suit.

"Sorry Edward, you didn't lose count did you?"

"Nope," I said, popping the "p" sound.

"Okay, I'm really sorry, it's just we're in front of the bathroom, the boys' one, and well…sorry but I need to go to the bathroom really badly. The girls' one is to the right side of the hallway. Do you mind waiting for me a sec?"

"Not at all." I responded, mentally noting it was 33 steps to the bathroom and the boys' room was on the left side of the hallway. I moved a little farther along the wall and found some lockers to lean against and wait.

Just as I leaned my head back I heard the door to boys' room open and the vile sound of Mike Newton's voice, followed by two others.

"Well, if it isn't that freak Cullen," I could tell Mike must've had a sneer on my face.

"Hello Mike," I said curtly. I suddenly staggered as I felt my cane knocked from my hands.

"I saw you with Angela. Why don't you leave her alone freak! She's my girl" Mike shoved me hard against the lockers then. The other two boys laughing.

I snorted, we're in 5th grade and he's claiming a girl to be "his"?

"She's not yours Mike!" I heard a new voice say.

"Yeah? What are you gonna do about it Ben? You geek! You're just as much a freak as Cullen!"

I shoved Mike backwards, which was probably the dumbest thing I could've done considering I couldn't see. I was thrown back against the lockers and punched in the stomach. I heard that Ben kid hit Mike but he must've been thrown back by Mike's two friends. I could hear their punches landing and hoped this Ben kid would be alright. I wasn't really worth sticking up for. Mike landed a kick to my stomach and I curled up instinctively. I heard the girls' bathroom door open and Angela scream. I heard her footsteps running down the hall as she screamed for help. Mike kicked me again but suddenly I heard him yell, followed by a loud "thud" and felt his body hit the floor not to far from my own. I heard Mike's two friends scrambling down the hall before one yelled, "Geezus Swan! You ARE a freak!"

Swan? Who was "Swan"?

I heard the same sniffle from the classroom before Bella's soft voice said, "Are you okay?"

I nodded and felt her hands on mine as she helped me to stand up. I winced a little as she helped me over to a bench in the hallway.

"Are you stomach and ribs okay?" She asked as she placed my cane into my right hand.

"I think I'll be okay," I said, reaching up to feel my face, "My glasses!"

I was suddenly freaking out. My eyes weren't covered and Bella could see them. I knew when people saw me without my glasses they were weird about it. I was told my eyes looked normal, but kids got freaked out when I stared ahead at nothing.

"Oh Edward…I'm sorry. Mike b-b-broke them…" I heard her sniffle again.

"Are you crying?" I questioned.

"No…yes…maybe." I bet she was pouting.

"Look Edward, Mike Newton thinks he's the coolest guy in school when he's really the biggest loser and constantly puts people down to make himself look cool. He, Tyler, and Eric are all like that. I can't stand it…it just got me so upset to see them picking on you and Ben."

"What happened to Ben?" I asked, suddenly alarmed.

"He's okay. He might wear glasses, but he's not geek. He held his own. He ran off to the office after Angela to get help."

"Oh…" I mumbled dumbly, "Wait…what happened to Mike?"

I heard Bella stutter before she spoke, "well…um…he…er, well, he's kind of unconscious…"

"What!?!" I yelled. I heard Bella squeak in front of me.

"I…well…my dad is the police chief here and I'm his only daughter and he's basically been teaching me self-defense since I could walk. I don't know why because nothing ever happens in Forks and…"

She was rambling on and I smiled. This Bella girl was funny.

"Thank you Bella!" I shouted over her rambling.

"Oh…er, you're welcome Edward."

I kept my head down and hoped she wouldn't try to look at my eyes.

"Edward…do you…" Bella stumbled over her words. Mental note, she does that a lot, "do you…want to borrow my sunglasses? They're my dad's old wayfarers."

"Please," I said barely above a whisper, thanking someone above that Bella could sense my discomfort without my glasses. I felt them placed into my palm and quickly put them on.

"How do I look?" I said, looking up and smiling.

"Very good," Bella whispered.

I was about to say something else when I heard the footsteps running down the hall and Mrs. Smith gasp and yell, "What happened here?"

I remained silent as Angela, Bella, and Ben launched into their tales of what happened. When Mrs. Smith asked if the story was true I nodded. Mrs. Smith took me to nurse's office so she could check my ribs and stomach. She gave me some ice to put on but said I should be okay. I groaned when I was told my parents had been called. I didn't want to think about the fuss my mom was going to make later. My stomach grumbled loudly as I realized lunch was almost over.

I heard a knock at the door and the nurse yelled, "Come in!"

"Mrs. Carter?" I heard the shy voice of my Bella. My Bella? What the crap Edward…

"Hello Isabella," Mrs. Carter answered, "What can I do for you?"

"I…um…I brought some lunch for Edward and was going to walk him back to class?" Bella stuttered and it was kind of cute how her voice went up as if she were asking a question.

"Alright Isabella. Edward," the nurse addressed me, "please let your father check you over when you get home and if anything hurts this afternoon please don't hesitate to come in."

"Thank you Mrs. Carter," I said as I stood with my cane. I immediately felt Bella's hands on my left one as she raised it and put it on her shoulder. I felt the tingles in my palm just as I had when Bella helped me off the floor in the hallway.

Bella led us to a bench in the hallway again and we sat.

"I grabbed you some pepperoni pizza and a milk," Bella said, "Which would you like first?"

"I'll take the pizza," I said as my stomach growled loudly. Bella laughed this amazing laugh as she placed the plate into my hands. I began to devour the pizza as Bella giggled at my side.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I guess I never formally introduced myself."

I smiled as she went on, but couldn't help my curiosity as to why that vile Newton had called her "Belly Bella." As far as I was concerned, Bella was a saint and deserved none of the teasing and laughing that I had heard this morning.

"My name is Isabella Marie Swan, but please call me Bella."

I smiled and swallowed my pizza before I spoke, "It's nice to meet you Bella. My name is Edward Anthony Masen Cullen." I held my hand out and waited, my own hand was gripped tightly by two of Bella's tiny and soft hands.

"It's nice to meet you too Edward."

End flashback

"Edward?" I shook my head failing out of my daydream and letting the journal I had been immersed in fall to the desk.

"Edward," Alice sighed, "Are you reading these again? Why don't you just Google her? Or hire a P.I. to find her?"

Alice had picked up Bella's journal I was reading and placed it closed on my desk. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. Alice and our other friends, Alice's fiancé Jasper Whitlock, her lawyer & best friend Rosalie, and Rosalie's husband Emmett McCarty, all knew about Bella. They all couldn't believe that I, Edward Cullen the artist, used to be blind. They all also couldn't believe that Bella had left me and begged me not to come after her. What was more, after six years, I was still madly in love with Bella Swan.

"She asked me not to Alice," I said flatly, "How can I refuse her last request of me?"

"But Edward, it's been six years. Didn't she also tell you to be happy? Don't you think you should…move on?"

"She should've known I can only be happy with her!" I yelled. I saw Alice jump back and I immediately felt sorry. "I'm sorry Alice."

I hung my head and heard the clacking of Alice's high heels come closer and felt her tiny arms wrap around my shoulders.

"It's okay Edward. I just…I just don't like seeing you like this. You can't live in the past Edward."

"I know Alice. I just…I can't let her go. I feel like she's always with me, always watching over me. Is that weird?"

"No Edward…I suppose not. But just remember her words okay? She wants you to be happy."

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, "I know." Alice walked back out of the office and I lost myself in my thoughts again.

I wasn't about to let Alice know that I had in fact tried to Google Isabella Marie Swan, but it was like she disappeared. I could find old things from high school that would pop up, but nothing after that. No pictures or anything. Charlie had certainly screwed me over after Bella disappeared and my father severed any ties of friendship he had formed with Charlie Swan. It was like Charlie had used his police chief status to make it almost as if Bella never existed. Her pictures were in none of the yearbooks in the school libraries and there were no pictures on Google. Of course, my parents had no pictures of us either and that was my own selfish damn fault.

I had learned that Bella never attended NYU like we had both intended to do. After much coaxing during my "dark times", I eventually went to UW instead. I decided to come to New York after I graduated much to my parents' dismay. I wanted to see the world and live away from Forks for a bit. However now, who knows how long "a bit" might be? I had learned to read quickly once I found out that Bella had left me her journals. She had kept them ever since she was a little girl. She left me every single one from the day we met until…

"Edward!" Alice called out, "Let's get outta here! It's 6:30!" I chuckled. Our little store was only open from 10:00am until 6:00pm Monday-Friday. It was a strange coincidence that not only was I neighbors and now business partners with Alice, but I also lived in the building next to them on the Upper East Side. Jasper taught kindergarten at a private school a few blocks away. Although I loved to drive, Alice always insisted on driving. She didn't trust my 5 years of driving experience versus her 9 years. While I preferred my silver Volvo S60, Alice loved her yellow Porsche 911 Turbo, and I don't know anyone who can resist Alice Brandon's puppy dog face. I don't know what poor Jasper's got himself into…

"Alright! I'm coming!" I shouted as I packed my things. I smiled as I replaced my bookmark in Bella's journal. I had started reading them from the beginning again. Who knows what number time it was that I was doing this? I didn't care. I was in love with Bella Swan and I would be until the day I died. The page I stopped at in her journal was at the end of our first week at school.

Bella's Journal

August 28th, 1994

I never thought that I would have a best friend. Angela was as close as it came but she is always so busy taking care of her brother that I never see her outside of school. I used to wish I had a sibling so I wouldn't be so lonely all the time. With my mom gone, and my father's job, I was always by myself. Being as klutzy as I am, sports or running around have never been an option and I sat around reading and eating the baked goods I made in my boredom. I was hoping that I'd grow out of my chubby stage, but it's hard to care when boys branded you "Belly Bella" back in first grade and the name has never gone away. Nothing soothes hurt feelings like brownies, until I met Edward.

I think that's why I like Edward so much. He doesn't judge me by what I look like. I don't know why God would take the gift of sight away from a boy as beautiful as Edward. He jokingly refers to me as his "hero" and "guardian angel" now, but it's he who is the angel. I've never seen anyone so beautiful. He didn't want to show me at first, but tonight he showed me what he looked like without his sunglasses on. I held in my tears. Edward has the most beautiful, brilliant, emerald green eyes. I asked God why he would do this to Edward? He deserved to be whole.

Edward and I ended up sobbing together on his couch tonight while we hung out at his house. Edward's mom, Esme, immediately took a liking to me after Edward told her how I stuck up for him against Mike Newton. She was a sweet woman and made me miss my own mother who passed away 9 years ago. Edward and I ended up sobbing because we got into a fight.

Edward asked me what I was doing hanging out with him. Why I was wasting my time being there with him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He went on to get upset and tell me that he was a freak and that I shouldn't be hanging around with him and I'll only hurt more if I continue to hang out with him. I was in tears as I yelled at him that he was my best friend and that I never had a best friend before. I explained about Angela and how I was always alone. I wasn't expecting Edward to wrap me up in a hug and apologize.

"We can be alone together," is what he whispered. I told him that he wasn't a freak and he continued to argue with me. Instead I told him if we were going to be alone together then we would be freaks together too. He chuckled. We listened to music…mostly classical and Edward played me his favorites on the piano. I was amazed watching him. He played so perfectly that I forgot I was listening to an 11 year old. When he was done playing we ate some spaghetti that Esme had made and I met Edward's father Carlisle too. They were both so beautiful that I thought they looked like movie stars. Edward and I sat on the couch in his room and played 20 questions with each other until Charlie picked me up.

I'll never forget what Edward said to me as I left to go home with Charlie: "Bella, you'll still…still be my best friend right?"

"Silly Edward…always" is what I told him. He grinned widely at me and I loved that he didn't have his sunglasses on anymore.

"Always Bella." I can't wipe the smile from my face. For the first time in my near 11 years of life, I have a best friend. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.

"EDWARD!! LET'S GO!!" Alice was yelling from the front of the store ready to pull the grate down and lock me in. I quickly threw my bag over my shoulder and ran out, locking the office and pulling the grate down for the little pixie. We jumped in her Porsche and started to speed off up towards the Upper East Side. The traffic was mostly gone now, but we still hit some. I heard the familiar sounds of Alice's phone ringing. That ring tone on a Friday evening could only mean it was one person…

"ROSALIE!" Alice squealed. Rosalie and her husband Emmett McCarty also lived on the Upper East Side near the rest of us. Emmett owned his own personal gym not far from Alice and I's store and Rosalie was a lawyer who worked down in the Financial District.

"Really?...What time?...Okay sure…See you tonight…love ya!" I listened to Alice as she chatted to Rose.

"Edward…" Alice sang in that tone of hers that I knew was used to pout her way into making me do anything.

"Yes Alice?" I sighed. Since I've met Alice and Rosalie, they've been trying to get me to date. I went on a few just to please them, but I never put much effort into it. None of them were Bella. Alice thought it was ridiculous that I was so in love with a woman who I didn't even know what she looked like. She almost blew a gasket when I said that. I sighed, not yet caring to relive the memories of why I didn't know what Bella looked like.

"Rosalie got us invited to a party tonight in honor of the author Izzie McCarty! Isn't that exciting Edward!"

I chuckled. Alice was a HUGE fan of Izzie McCarty's successful novels. I thought it was silly, but apparently this Izzie McCarty is quite popular. Her books are starting to spawn ridiculously popular movies, with the first adaptation coming in 3 months in November. Rosalie's firm handles her legal affairs. I always thought it was funny that Emmett & Rosalie had the same last name as this best selling author.

"Alice, you mean the Izzie McCarty that is so reclusive that no one knows what she looks like? Not even her publishers? The one that only gives phone interviews and never appears at anything in honor of herself?"

"You know Edward, for such a skeptic, you know an awful lot about Izzie McCarty."

I snorted, "How can I not? You worship the woman!"

Alice smacked me playfully, "I'm telling you Edward, you read her first book Love Story and you'll be hooked on her writing style."

"Well, if she's even at the party tonight, I don't know how you'll even know! No one knows what she looks like!"

"Humph…" Alice pouted, "I can dream can't I?"

"Sure Alice…sure."

Later that night…

"Jasper!" I hissed, "Do NOT leave me alone out there again!"

I knew there would be all sorts of socialites and free loaders at this party. No one who probably even cared about Izzie McCarty or could probably even read for that matter. I hated these types of fake women and their fake boobs and fake tans and fake….everything! I had fought off enough of these harpies to last me a lifetime.

"Sorry pal, I figured you could handle all that," Jasper chuckled in his southern drawl.

I glared at my friend, "."

"Sure sure," he chuckled, taking another sip of his beer.

"Where are Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett?"

He chuckled, "Well, unless you want to stab your eyes out, Rose and Emmett are on the dance floor. Alice is probably off trying to figure out who Izzie McCarty is."

I chuckled, "You're probably right."

I turned and ordered a So Co & Coke from the bartender. As I looked across the bar I froze. The pair of chocolate brown eyes staring back at me had me absolutely captivated. She looked away and even in the dim lighting of the bar, I could tell she was blushing. She had dark brown hair cascading around her shoulders and her creamy pale skin was practically glowing. She looked back up and caught me still staring at her. It was my turn to blush and look down now.

What was going on? I never felt like this over any woman before. Kate Beckinsale walked past me in Soho one day and I didn't even look twice, but this woman, she had me captivated. I suddenly thought of Bella and it stabbed me in the chest. This was wrong…I couldn't cheat on my Bella. I shook my head. I love Bella. Be happy Edward she wrote. Could I? Could I move on? The fact that I had reacted so strongly to this stranger in the restaurant must mean something. But Bella? my mind screamed. Be happy Edward. I decided to muster up my courage. I just wanted to talk to this woman. Bella wouldn't want me to be living in the past and moping. She wanted me to be happy.

When I finally looked up the woman was gone. I frowned and looked around for her but I couldn't see her anywhere. I looked frantically, searching all over, but I saw nothing. Maybe it was a sign.

"What's up man?" asked Jasper.

I shook my head, "It's nothing," and proceeded to down my drink.

I lay in bed that night thinking. Was Alice right? Should I give up on Bella and move on? Was that what would make me happy? I shook my head. No…I would only be truly happy with Bella. I would always be chasing after my love, never to find her, and always love her.

So what do you think so far? And here's a stupid question, can someone tell me how to make line breaks in my stories? I'm not the most technologically savy person in the world…

Let me know what you think!