Know Your Smashers

Chapter 2: Donkey Kong


A certain gorilla with a tie now took his place in the hot seat as the announcer began to echo.

Know Your Smashers...Know Your Smashers...Know Your Smashers...

"What was that?" Donkey Kong asked, but he got no response. Instead, the announcer just went on with the "facts".

Donkey Kong...has an IQ of -200.

"Okay, I'm sure it isn't that low." Donkey Kong stated, trying to correct the announcer. "Just because I'm an ape, it doesn't automatically mean I'm stupid."

Yes, it does. Donkey Kong...likes bananas so much that he uses them for personal pleasure.

"Now what kind of nonsense is that?!" Donkey Kong exclaimed in both shock and disgust. "I do love my bananas, but not to the point of pleasuring myself with them!"

Of course you would you stupid, naughty ape!

"I'm not stupid and naughty!" Donkey Kong cried.

Yes, you are! Donkey Kong...owns an animal strip club.

"I don't any kind of strip club! I would never think of doing anything like that!"

Now you know the stupid, naughty ape, Donkey Kong!

"I'm telling you, none of this is true about me! They're all lies! Ask anyone I know, they will tell you the truth! Hello? Are you still there?"