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Now, a switch to Dimitri's POV (mostly). He's getting ready to tell her, and this sets the tone for the next step of the piece. Let me know what you think!
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He'd been everywhere. He'd seen everything. He'd lived through experiences that people twice his age could only imagine. But this, he didn't know how to do.
The idea had come to him in the form of a headline. The decision had taken him all morning. He wasn't political, or particularly patriotic, and he'd never had any desire to bear arms on a border somewhere, but the feeling that he just had to do this had grabbed him and wouldn't let him go.
It even surprised himself, to a degree. Great plan, genius.
Dimitri walked up to the newly installed front gate of the townhouse his young family shared. He kept going over and over a sentence in his head, making adjustments here and there. Anya, I'm going to enlist in the service. Anya, I'm enlisting in the army. I'm going to fight in the army. I'm going to war. I'm going on a business trip for a couple months, see you when I get back.
He sighed. The idea of going didn't bother him, but telling Anya, well, he was just not prepared to do.
And he wouldn't get to be. Just as he unlatched the black wrought-iron gate and swung it open, Anya walked right into him, too preoccupied to pay attention to where she was going.
"Oh! Sorry. Hi."
"Hey." He was stunned to see her back from her grandmother's so early. Usually, you visit Marie, you clear your schedule and bring canned goods, 'cause you're not getting out any time soon.
"How's Vlad? I haven't seen him since last week."
Right. Dimitri'd forgotten where he'd just been. "He's great. Told me to say hi to you and T for him. Demanded, in fact." Tell her, just tell her NOW.
"Listen." Anya went on, and Dimitri used that as an excuse not to say anything. "Grandmama's got Tash, so I was thinking we could go into town tonight and get something to eat from that new place. What do you think?"
"Yeah, sounds great." Say it, come on already.... "Anya..."
"Hey," she whispered. "Hang on a second, okay?" She draped her arms over his shoulders, came forward, and kissed him as if she hadn't seen him in weeks. If only she knew.
Oh, my God. You are really not making this any easier.
"I can't tell you how much I needed that today," she said when she pulled back. "Now. You were saying?"
What WAS I saying? How big of an idiot AM I?
He took a deep breath. "Anya, I...I need to talk to you about something."
"Sure. What is it?" she asked geniunely. She had always understood his problems. Until now, maybe.
"Can we...?" He gestured toward the house, and turned and started up the sidewalk. Like her, he had a problem staying still when he was nervous.
Anya followed. "Dimitri? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine." He kept going until they were both inside and Anya had shut the door. He sat on the couch and patted the seat next to him, meaning for Anya to take it, but at the gesture, a greyer-than-ever Pooka appeared from nowhere and bounded onto the seat.
"Not you!" Pooka hopped off. That dog is like a hundred and five years old. Shouldn't he not be able to jump on furniture anymore?
Anya sat down next to Dimitri. "What is it?" she said, looking straight into his eyes like she always did.
God. He missed her already.
"Anya...." That's the third time you've said that. Add new words. He finally cornered the last of the coward in him, and shoved it out for good. It had been dissipating for a long time, and he wanted it gone.
"You saw what was in the paper this morning, right?"
A panic started in her eyes. No, no, don't go back to that again. "Yes..."
"Anya." He picked up her hand. He'd never crushed her before, and wanted to be ready to put her right back together. "I'm enlisting tomorrow."
"What?" Instantly she stood up, pulling her hand from his. Her voice, wasn't commanding, it was begging. "No!" She was in panic mode already, and when the tears came to her eyes, she couldn't stop them.
He had never caused this before. It was enough to make him want to forget the whole thing. But he knew he couldn't do that. Within the second he was on his feet. "Anya, Anya, listen to me. I have to. I have to go."
"No! No, you don't! Do you know why I really went where I went today? I just begged your immunity to my grandmother! The draft won't affect you!"
"Good! I have to do this on my own." He put his hands on her shoulders. "I can't explain this. I don't even know if I understand it yet. But I have to do this. I mean, look at you, look at Tasha. How can I not go?"
"How can you?" she cried. "You don't have to prove anything, not to anyone else, and not to me."
"No, but maybe I have to prove it to myself."
"So you're leaving us? How am I supposed to keep this up without you? How is that little girl supposed to go without her daddy?"
"Anya, it's not permanent."
Anya couldn't say anything to that, and she turned her back to him.
"Anya? I am coming back."
She turned again. "How do you know what's gonna happen out there?" she whispered.
"What makes you so sure I'm not coming back?"
She said nothing for a moment. "What makes you so sure you are? That's what happens in a war." She stopped to take in another shaky breath. "Don't you think I saw it?" Another pause, each one longer than the last. "You don't have to be my father."
"No," he agreed quietly, "but I do have to do what's right. I'm not doing this to hurt you, Anya, you have to believe that. But I have to go. You just have to trust me. I have to go."
Neither of them spoke for a long moment after that, and Dimitri wrapped his arms around Anya and held her close.
"I've always trusted you," she said finally. "I don't agree with you, but I understand."
He laughed, just a little. "Since when is that new?"
"See? Look at what this is already doing to us. We've never fought like that."
"What planet are you on? We fight constantly."
"Yeah, but that's over pointless stuff. We never fight; we bicker."
"Ah."
Anya looked up at him. "If I ever lost you, Dimitri..."
"You won't," he said, cutting her off.
"But if I ever..."
"You won't. You, will, not, ever, lose me. I am always coming back. Always."
She held on to him as if he were her last anchor to earth, and hoped with all her might that that was true.
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(Here we go...) :-)
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