Of course this is a multi-chapter story! I'd get so bored if it weren't.


Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Great Hall, Gryffindor Table, September 1, 1977…

"So how was your summer?" Lily asked, handing a bowl to Hermione, flicking her hair over her shoulder.

"Oh – brilliant, we did a play, it was so funny, called the Complete Works of William Shakespeare [Abridged]. These three guys attempt to do all of Shakespeare's plays by themselves. Of course, whenever they need a female, they send me, Monica or Sofia out to play it. Sofia got Juliet, and she had to play as the character Adam who was played by Michael. Needless to say it was confusing, but utterly hilarious."

"Who were you?" Alice asked.

"Oh, we took turns playing characters – that was hard," she scrunched up her face, "Ophelia was easy, seems all she did was scream, and Laviana was easy as well, she hardly had any lines, but Juliet was a trip. I had to let Jonathon kiss me."

"Oh dear," Lily giggled, turning a very faint pink, "I have to say, Hermione, I'm surprised you do what you do."

"What do you mean?"

"You read, Granger," Sirius interrupted, making Lily frown at him. "You hardly ever talked until our third year." He then smirked at her, humming out the song she'd sang after the show. She threw a napkin at him, making him grin at her.

"Well, whatever," she shook her head, "I think we're going to do Hello, Dolly! again. I love being Minnie and Ermengarde, I really do, but I'd love to be Dolly."

"I thought Sofia was Dolly?" Remus spoke up as everybody turned to stare at him. "Hey, I'm not always reading my book you know. I hear things."

"Well, Sofia is thinking about retiring," she said sadly, making Alice gasp and have her hands fly to her face, her fork very narrowly missing her eye.

Alice opened her mouth to belt out a very long run on sentence as a question, when Dumbledore silenced her by standing up.

"Welcome!" he said. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Now that you're full, I'd like to make some announcements that you'll barely remember in your weary haze! The Forbidden Forest is, as its name suggests, forbidden." He glanced quickly at the Marauders for a moment, "Every student – young and old alike – would take care to remember that. There is a list of restricted items posted in front of Filch's office – all one hundred and seventy-three of them – "

"And counting," Sirius muttered, making his friends grin over at him.

" – And, I'd like to welcome our newest Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Professor Nilla!" He began the applause for the newest professor, who was a skittish looking man. Once the applause died down, he continued, "And I'd like to congratulate our two new Head Boy and Head Girl – James Potter and Lily Evans."

Lily's face burned as Sirius whistled in the applause, making Hermione laugh at him. People were stunned upon hearing that the Marauder had become a Head Boy, but once they got over it and realized just how much they might be able to pull off this year.

"Once again, welcome to Hogwarts," he smiled, sitting down and finally letting the returning students head off to their dorms.

"What's the password?" Alice yawned, stretching her arms out and accidentally hitting Hermione, making her stop and frown.

"Oddment," Lily answered, turning to the Fat Lady right when she opened up. She climbed through and sighed, collapsing on the couch and closing her eyes, getting ready to drift off.

Alice curled up in the chair next to her, Hermione picking Lily's legs up to lie down with her, her feet near Lily's head as Lily's were near hers.

"Girls are odd," Peter commented as the three Marauders – Remus was reading again – stared at the two sharing the couch.

"Mmyeah," Lily mumbled, opening an eye, "Well, we think you're odd."

"Ah, Miss Evans, Mister Potter, I'm glad I caught you before you drifted off to sleep," Dumbledore said, stepping through the doorway as more and more students piled in, soon the first years walking in with awed expressions.

"Professor," they said, Lily standing up with a slight groan as Hermione slid and got her space.

"I came to talk with you about your Head duties," he smiled.

"But you already did that, Sir," James frowned a little as Sirius sat in a chair across from Alice, Remus sitting on the arm of Alice's chair and setting his book away. Peter stood awkwardly by the fireplace.

"Well, this part requires your Housemates' input," he winked over as Hermione picked her head up, looking thoroughly interested now.

"How?" Lily asked as James moaned "Oh my god, I'm so screwed." Sirius, Remus and Peter gave each other grins as Alice rolled her eyes, Hermione rolling over onto her stomach and clutching a pillow to her face so only her interested eyes could be seen.

"Well, in the later past, the Heads shared a dorm," he said, making the two pale, "Up until modern times we always listened to that rule. But as it found to be more – ahh – problematic, we went by the Heads' classmates to honestly decide if they were mature enough to handle sharing a room. So, students?" he looked around at the seventh years, sixth years hanging by the window with some fifth years. Fourth years were talking with third years, stopping to listen to Dumbledore, and second years were proudly explaining their knowledge to the gaping first years. "Do you believe that Lily Evans and James Potter should have a room away from your dorms?"

"Yes," everybody seemed to say at once, making Lily whirl around and glare at a smirking Hermione.

"Hermione! Alice!" she huffed, crossing her arms.

"I love you, Lily, but you and James argue an awful lot," Alice said sheepishly.

"With all due respect, Lilybums," Sirius said, patting her hand as she glared at him, "Some of us wish to sleep some days, and not get pulled into yours and Prongs' little spats."

"For once," Hermione interrupted, picking her head up from the pillow, "I agree with Sirius. And with all this Head stuff, you two will probably argue much more. At least we won't have to hear it."

Lily gave a loud exasperated sigh as James pondered how best to get revenge. Normally, he'd never pull a prank on those in his own House, but now that there was a possibility he could get killed by the girl of his dreams….

"Well then," Dumbledore smiled, "If you two would please follow me." He waved a hand and made Lily and James follow them, but not without one final glare for their friends.

"Oh Merlin," Remus suddenly said after a few silent moments, "Lily and James won't be with us."

"Yeah, we caught that," Sirius snorted.

"No – Lily and James break up yours and Hermione's fights," he said, staring wide-eyed at Peter and Alice, "So – who will do it now?"

"Not it!" Alice and Peter shrieked, Peter streaking upstairs with a scream. Remus sighed and frowned down at Alice, who was grinning up at him.

"If Frank wouldn't kill me, I'd hit you," he frowned before returning to his book.

"What do you think he meant by 'problematic'?" Hermione asked, earning her shocked looks from Alice and the two remaining Marauders. "What?"

"Did you really just ask that?" Alice blinked, "I mean, really? I thought Peter would've, maybe even James, but you?"

"What?" she blinked.

"Well," Remus cleared his throat, "I suggest we let her figure it out on her own."

But Sirius had other ideas, "You see, Granger, when a girl and a boy have very strange emotional rollercoasters, sometimes they – "

"I said – let her figure it out on her own, Sirius," Remus glared, making the other boy sigh and slump into his chair. They were silent for a few moments as the Common Room cleared out, leaving them and the fire to crackle.

"Oh!" Hermione gasped, her eyes wide and her mouth open, glancing between a chuckling Remus and a smiling Alice to a smirking Sirius. "You mean - ?"

"The dance with no pants? The mattress mambo? The dirty deed? Deflowering? Bumping uglies?" Sirius offered, grinning as her face reddened more and more with each one, "If so, then yes, that is what we mean."

"You sure do know an awful lot of ways of saying 'having sex,'" Remus commented with a frown as Alice giggled and tilted her head at him innocently.

"Can we please stop saying it?" Hermione cried, her face still red.

"Ooh!" Sirius said excitedly, looking brightly at her, "Doing it! I can't believe I forgot that one!"

Hermione groaned and shoved the pillow over her face as Sirius chuckled at her, Remus rolling his eyes as Alice giggled again and went upstairs.

"Why are you so embarrassed, Granger? It's just sex," Sirius shrugged.

"Some of us believe sex – sorry, Hermione," Remus rolled his eyes as Hermione gave another groan under the pillow. "Some of us believe sex is supposed to be saved for after marriage. However, you go around Hogwarts and practically sell yourself out to desperate teenage girls."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius asked as Remus slid down into the seat of the chair.

"It means you're a man-whore," Hermione told him.

"Oh sure, you can't say sex but you can say man-whore?" he screamed, making Hermione laugh with Remus.

"Well, what do you think I call girls who I don't like?" she asked with a smile, "I just added the 'man' in front of it for you."

"Gee, thanks," he rolled his eyes as she stood up, getting ready to go to bed.

"You're welcome," she grinned before going to the stairs, "Night, boys."

"Night," they chorused.


A/N Because...just because. Please review and give me feedback. - Birdie