Disclaimer: Still don't own Transformers.

Oh Slag

"Use this second chance well, youngling…good luck."


Fixer jolted back to awareness with a sudden start. She stared up at the ceiling blankly, trying to recall her dream. I think…it had a giant robot? A…Transformer, right, he called himself…Prime? No, maybe Prima? No, that doesn't sound quite right either…eh, whatever. It was just a dream, nothing bad'll happen if I don't remember…it…why is the ceiling metallic and shiny?

She pushed herself up, intending to look around...and froze as she caught sight of her body. Scuffed purple and black metal extended out from around her waist, ending in a broader base…feet. Slowly, she raised her hand in front of her face, only to be met with more metal and long, sharp claws in place of fingers. Shakily, with a growing sense of horror, she lifted the pointed digits further and carefully brought them to her face…only to be met with smooth, featureless metal. She slid the digits up farther, till they obscured her vision and, trembling, traced the outline of a single V-shaped optical band.

Carefully, she stood up, absently noting that the room she was in resembled a mad doctor's lab, and headed over to the bench where she could see something shiny glinting in the creepy lighting. Trembling, her hand reached out and picked up the polished piece of metal, slowly bringing it up to eye-level. Her vents (vents?) hitched as she stared at her reflection.

W-what…happened-?


Oh, she thought calmly, that's blood. My blood.

Mustering up the last dregs of her strength, she reached up and weakly grasped the redhead's hand. Fixer smiled softly. "S'ok. S'not you faul'…"

Callahan was crying, she could feel the tears hitting her rapidly numbing face. "…on't go, plea…"

"S'rry…" she mumbled, her eyes drooping. "L've oo…Da…"


Fixer went very, very still. Oh. I…died, and…then what? How did I wake up here, looking like a…what were they called again? Oh, right, a Vehicon from Transformers…Prime…oh, slag. Please don't tell me…

"Oh good, you're up. That means you can get back to work," came a voice from behind her.

Slowly, stiffly, pleading with whatever sick and twisted deity was up there to not let her see who she thought that was, praying that this was just a bad dream, Fixer turned around.


Fraggit! I hate my life! Fixer wailed internally as she replaced burnt circuitry automatically. Behind her, Knock Out and Breakdown were chatting idly as the blue, orange-faced mech buffed the already absurdly shiny medic. I wish this was a dream, but it's too detailed to be one of my dreams! And if I had to get stuck in a Transformers series, why couldn't I at least have gotten stuck in G1? I know next to nothing about the plot of TF Prime, I've only seen a couple of episodes whilst babysitting Callahan's little niece! Furthermore, WHY THE HELL DID I GET STUCK AS AN ERADICON?! I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT FLYING! AND IN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE I SAW, THE DRONE DEATH RATE WAS ABSURDLY HIGH! FRAGGIT, I'M FUCKING CANNON FODDER! I'M GONNA DIE!

Maybe if I stay under the radar, just keep my head down and blend in…OH WHO AM I KIDDING I'M GONNA DIE! Okay, no, stop, freaking out isn't doing any good…Hoo…breathe…wait no don't breathe, Cybertronians don't need to breathe, just…calm…

Sigh.

Well, at least I have the memories of the drone that existed in this body before me. Boring and unimaginative though it might have been (seriously, I haven't found one original thought yet, and I've covered several years already!), it at least knew Cybertronian, as well as basic knowledge about the Decepticons in this continuity. I wouldn't have been able to follow what Knock Out's instructions otherwise, or make as much headway on these repairs as I have without that knowledge, but holy Primus, Cybertronian is complicated. That- Primus! Son of a rat-faced, shit-sucking whore, the Cybertronian in my dream was Primus! He's the reason I'm stuck in this body, he has to be? Who else would be capable of such a thing-!

"Well, you've certainly made a lot of headway," Knock Out said from right fraggin' behind her! Primus! "I must admit, when I requested a drone to help me repair some of the equipment damaged in the explosion, I didn't expect it to be much help. Instead, you've almost completely finished my job for me."

Fixer paused in the middle of her internal freak-out and focused back on the table. Apparently, her subconscious had fallen back into its old habit of fixing everything in reach whilst she was thinking. She did it on purpose back in the shop, falling into a meditative state and letting her body working without conscious direction. It might have been weird, but she was faster, more efficient, and did better repairs that way, for whatever reason.

"Umm…" Frag, what can I say that won't sound suspicious?! And wow, is that deep thing actually my voice? I sound like a guy! "…I like repairing things?"

Knock Out hummed thoughtfully. Breakdown groaned. "No, Knock Out…whatever you're thinking of, no. You know Starscream won't approve it."

"He'll approve it if he wants quality medical repairs for himself. If I have this Eradicon take over the maintenance on the other drones, that'll leave us free to make the more complicated and time-consuming repairs and maintenance we haven't been able to do in a while," Knock Out said as he walked towards the door, gesturing the big blue mech to follow and already composing a message to send to Starscream over the comm.

"And it'll leave more time for racing?" Breakdown said dryly.

"Yes, well, that too. You, drone!"

Fixer jerked to attention. "Sir?"

"Stay here and finish the repairs."

"Y-yes, sir." She watched carefully as the two walked out, slumping back down onto her stool after the door closed behind them. …frag. Well, so much for staying under the radar…


"Ah, Herr Commandant. So, what do you think of my proposal?" Knock Out said as he walked onto the bridge, Breakdown still trailing him.

"Well, doctor, I think it's a very interesting proposal. However, I fail to see why you need two assistants. After all, you already have Breakdown," Starscream rasped out, turning to face the other mech.

"Well, yes, but the both of us are so swamped in routine maintenance on the drones that we have little to no times for other…projects."

"Projects like…oh, say, racing, for example?"

"Well, I, uh…actually, I was referring to the project you wished me to start," Knock Out said triumphantly. "There's been so much maintenance to do that we haven't even gotten a chance to start it."

"Hmm." Starscream regarded him suspiciously. "Very well, you may have the drone as an assistant. But I expect progress on the project to be made. If there is no progress in fifteen cycles, the drone will be assigned back to the mines. Understood?"

"Of course, Commander," Knock Out said smoothly, hiding a victorious smirk. "I understand perfectly."