Opie laid on the floor silently for awhile just listening to the storm rage outside. This was his night almost every night. He'd lay awake until a mixture of alcohol and exhaustion forced him into a restless sleep. He hadn't gotten a good night's rest since Donna's death. He laid there thinking about everything Tara had said to him that night. He knew that she was right but Donna's death hurt so bad he just couldn't pull himself out of the funk that he was in. "I am sorry about being rude to you tonight…Tara. I really am. I appreciate everything you've been doing for my kids…everything you've been doing for me."
Tara had been on the edge of sleep when Opie started talking to her. "I know you do Opie." "I've known you too long to not know your true feelings." "I just put you on the defensive. We all lash out when we feel like we've been backed into a corner."
"Well, you had me dead to rights." "I have not been pulling my weight with my kids and I know they see it." "I want to be better for them. I know that they need me…but I don't know how." "Hell I don't even really know how to be a father." "I went to jail for five years Tara." "When I got back out…my kids barely knew me." "I was home for 6 months…. maybe before Donna was killed." "Kenny was 6 years old when I went to prison and Elli was 4." "What do I even know about them that isn't second hand knowledge from letters Donna wrote me in jail." "They are 11 and 9 now…." "And Donna isn't here to help me."
Tara leaned her head over the side of the couch so that she was looking at him. "I won't lie and say that I understand what you are going through because I don't…" "But I have been a child in this situation before." "The memories I have of my dad are of him being drunk..passed out on the floor in a pool of his own vomit." "I can remember him yelling at me to bring him another bottle of whatever liquor we had in the house." "I can remember him staggering drunk to the store to get another bottle of whiskey." "He was looking for answers too but he never found them in the bottom of all of those bottles. He found himself alone… "I left Charming to get away from that image…to get away from that pathetic existence because it was killing me inside Opie." "My mother dying…destroyed my father…and he couldn't bring himself to get it together for me." "He left me to raise myself…" "I'm still broken because of it…" "I have a hard time trusting, loving, believing in anyone…"
"I feel dead inside Tara…the guilt is killing me. I loved Donna so much and she stood by me while I was in prison…" "And then my lifestyle gets her killed…a lifestyle that she despised and begged me to leave behind." "I was always okay with the notion that my life might get me killed. I never cared. I am not afraid of dying I never have been." "I never considered that…I wouldn't be the one to pay for my sins." "Donna didn't deserve this she was…a beautiful amazing woman."
"Then you need to honor her Opie. You think that this is what she wants?" "She struggled so hard to keep your family together those years that you were in prison. Do you really think that she would want you to let all of that go to waste now?" asked Tara. "The best thing you can do to honor the woman you love is by preserving the family she left behind." "And you do that by getting some help and being the father to your kids that they need you to be." "They need you Opie…they need to know from you that everything is going to be okay. Even if you don't believe in your heart yet…you need to tell them that." "Kids need to feel safe…and stable and like there is balance and order to the world." "Because without that it is scary."
"So I am supposed to lie to them…I don't want to lie to my kids. I want to be able to them that I am okay…and that it is going to be okay. But I want it to be true." said Opie.
"Okay so you want to put life on hold while you mourn. I get that. But the thing is…children don't come with a pause button." "You can't just freeze them in place until you can get yourself together." "Every day that you are drunk and not spending time with them is a day you are losing with them. They are growing up Opie." "Kenny will be twelve in a couple of weeks, right?" "You've got to make a choice…how important are your kids to you."
Opie was silent, he laid there staring at the ceiling feeling tears wet the corner of his eyes.
Tara laid there, the silence was deafening to her. She wondered had she pushed the limits somehow. She looked over the edge of the couch at Opie's face and realized that he was crying. It was such a strange sight to see such a strong man reduced to tears. And yet at the same time it made her heartache. Opie was her childhood friend and his pain was breaking her heart. Tara climbed off the couch and laid on the floor next to Opie. "I didn't mean to…Opie I would never purposely say anything to hurt you." said Tara. "I am so sorry." She felt herself welling up thinking that she had hurt him.
Opie shook his said "You didn't say anything to hurt me.""You just said all of the things that I needed to hear but that no one has been willing to say." said Opie. "I've been…selfish." "I've only been looking at my own pain." "I love my kids Tara."
Tara reached up and gently wiped away his tears. "Please don't cry Opie…" "I know you love your children…I know that." "They just need to hear it from you sometimes…"
Opie went silent again just laying there. Tears still rolled down his cheeks. He reached over resting a hand on Tara's face. "I can't do this alone Tara…I need your help." "My mom left...I need help…I need help." said Opie.
"And you have it….you have me." "I will be here every day…every evening." "Every night as long as you need me." "I love hanging out with your kids Opie." said Tara. "And I like hanging out with you when you aren't a drunken ass."
Opie said "Thank you…." Between the booze, the emotion, and Tara ever so gently wiping away Opie's tears his judgment was clouded. He leaned forward his hand still on her face and he kissed her. It was a clumsy kiss at first but soon the kiss turned into a smoldering passionate kiss. Opie's arm moved around Tara drawing her body in close against his body.
Tara was shocked by the kiss and didn't know what to do. She knew she should stop him but somewhere in her head she knew she didn't want to stop him. He was hurting and she wanted to help him.
Opie pulled back and stuttered. "Tara…I-I'm sorry." "I don't know what I was thinking I just…"
"You just wanted to forget about the pain..even if it was just for a little while?" whispered Tara in a barely audible voice. "You don't have to apologize." "I kissed you too." She looked into his eyes the only light illuminating the room came from a street light outside. Tara leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was just as passionate this time around.
Opie pulled Tara's body on top of his as they kissed. They pulled back after awhile breathless both of them looking at one another in the sparse light that the street light provided.
Tara moved in for another kiss this time pulling the trademark hat off of Opie's head and running her fingers through his dirty blond locks.
Opie's hands went to the hem of her shirt to pull it off. He stopped, the drunken haze letting up some. What was he doing? Could he go through with this? Would Tara go through with this?
